bbShould i feel guilty for using escorts

[igab 5629]

If you're feeling shame you should probably get out of the game because it's not for you. I don't agree with those who said you should feel shame if you're married or in a relationship. I love variety and I play safe. I don't feel shame I just feel like I'm living my sex life to it's fullest.

[Happyjack 1090]

Life is too short. As long as no one is getting hurt why not enjoy yourself.

[Lovinmygfb 130]

Never be ashamed of pleasure, where everyone wins.

[stand on guard 1186]

to 6dave9,

 

I understand your need to find an emotional connection elsewhere as you are not getting that at home. We all crave affection and there is no shame in that.

 

My question to you is this: If you get caught, will your wife divorce You? If the answer is yes, then you will likely lose much of what you say you have worked so hard for. Your friends and family I am sure will be told what you have done and that is where the shame will come. Will you be able to look your kids in the eyes? If they are young, they will not understand. As they get older, they may come to realize that you were living in a loveless relationship and come to terms with what you did. Ultimately, is this worth it? Only you know the answer to that question.

[6dave9 4008]

Well Stand OG,

All of these questions would come into play *IF* if my hobbying would come to light.... and thats a BIG *IF*..

As I wont speak for my esteemed colleges here on CERB, i suspect many of us here are in the same predicament...

Life is too short to let go unfulfilled... (as i described in my earlier post)

so shame.?. sorry not buying it.. because i cant fix something when the other half has her head buried in the sand, and is complete denial of what's missing and... I could go on.. its not like I haven't tried..

Your reference to divorce, don't know.. and I am not planning to find out... !!

yes, i get that life can through you curve-balls and shit can happen... cross that bridge *IF* i get to it.

 

Family and friends, many will *certainly* understand .. others may not...and for those that dont...oh well !!!! TFB.. I am not holding them responsible now am I?

 

Kids are already old enough to realized whats is and isn't happening at home... and yes I can look them in the eyes.. thanks for asking...........!

 

"Ultimately, is this worth it? Only you know the answer to that question. "

 

sorry but that seems a little harsh............. dont we all..???? we are all grown-ups here.... and i don't believe any of us here gets judged for the decisions/needs/want and desires we all have, especially here on CERB.

 

I'll stop here.....

[stand on guard 1186]

Sorry, I meant to address the divorce scenario and not wanting to start over you discuss in paragraph 4. Clearly you are correct in asserting that only you can determine your happiness. I meant to say that if your significant other finds out about your double life, divorce and starting over is a strong possibility. In that regard, I speak from experience.

 

I understand the choices we are all make on CERB and I would never judge anyone else or the decisions they make in their lives.

[6dave9 4008]

Oh I see,thanks for clearing that up for me.

Sorry to hear you've had to start over..(how did she find out..? if you don't mind me asking.)

Right, so the 'what if' for my situation.. tough to say.. as she has just as much to loose going the divorce route as I do...

Would she be upset? certainly... the outcome? not so sure....

 

 

I have been witness to a few marital breakups, some due the gents indiscretion, and the last one I've seen is due to the ladies doings...!

Heck it has happened on her side of the family..

So we've all seen it to some degree.

Some marriages has survived , and obviously, some has not.

D.

[stand on guard 1186]

SO found a text from sp in phone that was not deleted. Shit hit the fan. 2 years of ugliness. Lost some friends, spent lots of money and basically started over. Fortunately I have a great business, great friends who stood by and did not judge and am back on track financially. I know there may be lots of people who would not be able to afford what I went through and get back on their feet financially again. That is what I was referring to when I asked if it was worth it. There can be a lot to lose...

[6dave9 4008]

In that respect -agreed.. it could be devastating - for both...

however each marriage has there own dynamics.

[Blade 160]

If you are single, please ignore this thread. Otherwise, you may want to read on.

 

We all get caught at one point or another. It's just a matter of time. I have been living the double life for over 15 years and got caught numerous times because I got too confident or I was sloppy. God bless my life for enduring me all this time. This may sound straight forward but here are some of my lessons learned:

 

1) Never use your personal email address to set up an account such as CERB or sex sites. Emails from CERB on your home computer will cause scrutiny.

 

2) Never give your cell phone number to an SP. NEVER! Receiving an unsolicited text message from your mistress or SP when your home and the cell phone is left on the kitchen counter may be difficult to explain.

 

3) Don't call or text message an SP using your cell phone. Even if you erase the text, the SP now has your number (see lesson #2).

 

4) If you use your home computer to browse CERB or any other adult sites, make sure your browser history is cleared after use. Better yet, browse in private or configure the settings to clear the history automatically upon exit. However, a cleared history may send the wrong message.

 

5) Time your events carefully not to draw suspicion. Fictitious Dr. or Dentist appointments during the day time usually works. Going out for a beer after work with the boys may backfire on you.

 

If you do get caught, don't deny it because you never know what evidence was collected. Just admit it and beg for forgiveness. YMMM on this one.

 

Men were not build to have only one lover. Few women understand this concept. For this reason, learn your lessons well.

[Chanel Reign 28097]

If I may interject here...

 

Why would your s/o be going through your texts?

 

Imo this is a breach of privacy and perhaps shows there was already a problem?

 

It would never occur to me to go through my s/o's phone or his drawer that he keeps "stuff" in. I honestly have no idea what's in there, and don't need to know.

 

I am glad things worked out for you, but it always makes me shake my head when gfs/bfs/whatever have the nerve to go through your phone or other private things.

[WriteOn 3250]

I have to say I have not read all the previous posts on this thread but I will add this opinion.

 

Are you in a committed relationship? Does your partner know you are visiting escorts? If the answer to both of those questions is yes then, no, you should not feel guilty.

 

If you are deceiving someone you love then you should feel guilty, otherwise of course you should not.

[Chanel Reign 28097]

I have to say I have not read all the previous posts on this thread but I will add this opinion.

 

Are you in a committed relationship? Does your partner know you are visiting escorts? If the answer to both of those questions is yes then, no, you should not feel guilty.

 

If you are deceiving someone you love then you should feel guilty, otherwise of course you should not.

 

There are many reasons men visit SP's. Lets put it this way...if my s/o couldn't cook a steak the way I REALLY loved it, I would go out for said steak. Would I feel guilty, no.

 

Too many people still equate sex and love. It's a shame really as the two are completely different and can cause so many negative issues. I believe more marriages would be saved if less emphasis was placed on fidelity and more on the things you love to share, companionship, friendship and compatibility in every other way.

 

While I value your opinion I have to disagree as again, the 2 are separate entities.

 

Does that diminish the love you have for your s/o? Highly unlikely.

[6dave9 4008]

 

It would never occur to me to go through my s/o's phone or his drawer that he keeps "stuff" in. I honestly have no idea what's in there, and don't need to know.

 

I am glad things worked out for you, but it always makes me shake my head when gfs/bfs/whatever have the nerve to go through your phone or other private things.

 

When my SO tells me to "go into my purse, get my wallet and find my..."

..I dont.. I hand her purse.. I was taught to NEVER go through a woman's purse.

I have no reason to think that my wallet gets a look over either..

My 2c

[Chanel Reign 28097]

2) Never give your cell phone number to an SP. NEVER! Receiving an unsolicited text message from your mistress or SP when your home and the cell phone is left on the kitchen counter may be difficult to explain.

 

Well Mr Blade, I can see you not getting too many dates. Whose fault is it for being sloppy or confident? Certainly not the SP. And if they don't have your number you don't get to play with a reputable SP. Do you have a work around for this? If so Im sure we'd all like to hear about it.

 

I am most certainly not trying to cause any drama here, but I find your post rather demeaning to SP's. Why would one want to text or call you unsolicited? Has this happened to you with an SP? She is very indiscreet if she has. Believe me no one wants to chat or garner business by being this bold.

 

Please understand that a Mistress and an SP are 2 different relationships. Word would certainly get around if an SP did this and her business would dwindle away simply because of her actions. Unless there is a stipulation of "call me whenever", we have more going on in our lives than chatting up a Gent. You are paying for my time, not my business to infringe on yours.

 

Having said that, sometimes life or an important situation gets in the way and we have to cancel. Rare but it happens. Would you rather show up for a playdate only to have no one home, or her family there?

 

I trust my Gents to delete any texts we may have shared, and be on top of things when it comes to discretion. The last thing we want is an angry call from the Mrs when the anger should honestly be directed at you and not her.

 

I don't think you are hearing that in most cases this is a safety measure. Even if you email me and we book a date, you still have to call me when you are on your way to get my actual location. This is standard practice and if you have been in the game for 15 years you should know this.

[LeeRichards 177238]

If you are single, please ignore this thread. Otherwise, you may want to read on.

 

We all get caught at one point or another. It's just a matter of time. I have been living the double life for over 15 years and got caught numerous times because I got too confident or I was sloppy. God bless my life for enduring me all this time. This may sound straight forward but here are some of my lessons learned:

 

1) Never use your personal email address to set up an account such as CERB or sex sites. Emails from CERB on your home computer will cause scrutiny.

 

2) Never give your cell phone number to an SP. NEVER! Receiving an unsolicited text message from your mistress or SP when your home and the cell phone is left on the kitchen counter may be difficult to explain.

 

3) Don't call or text message an SP using your cell phone. Even if you erase the text, the SP now has your number (see lesson #2).

 

4) If you use your home computer to browse CERB or any other adult sites, make sure your browser history is cleared after use. Better yet, browse in private or configure the settings to clear the history automatically upon exit. However, a cleared history may send the wrong message.

 

5) Time your events carefully not to draw suspicion. Fictitious Dr. or Dentist appointments during the day time usually works. Going out for a beer after work with the boys may backfire on you.

 

If you do get caught, don't deny it because you never know what evidence was collected. Just admit it and beg for forgiveness. YMMM on this one.

 

Men were not build to have only one lover. Few women understand this concept. For this reason, learn your lessons well.

 

I certainly understand your need for caution.

 

In my experience however I haven't met a lady yet that doesn't want me to call or text ? from my cel phone preferable cause my land line doesn't reach the hotel parking lot ;)

[Luckyme 41401]

Well Mr Blade, I can see you not getting too many dates. Whose fault is it for being sloppy or confident? Certainly not the SP. And if they don't have your number you don't get to play with a reputable SP. Do you have a work around for this? If so Im sure we'd all like to hear about it.

 

I am most certainly not trying to cause any drama here, but I find your post rather demeaning to SP's. Why would one want to text or call you unsolicited? Has this happened to you with an SP? She is very indiscreet if she has. Believe me no one wants to chat or garner business by being this bold.

 

Please understand that a Mistress and an SP are 2 different relationships. Word would certainly get around if an SP did this and her business would dwindle away simply because of her actions. Unless there is a stipulation of "call me whenever", we have more going on in our lives than chatting up a Gent. You are paying for my time, not my business to infringe on yours.

 

Having said that, sometimes life or an important situation gets in the way and we have to cancel. Rare but it happens. Would you rather show up for a playdate only to have no one home, or her family there?

 

I trust my Gents to delete any texts we may have shared, and be on top of things when it comes to discretion. The last thing we want is an angry call from the Mrs when the anger should honestly be directed at you and not her.

 

I don't think you are hearing that in most cases this is a safety measure. Even if you email me and we book a date, you still have to call me when you are on your way to get my actual location. This is standard practice and if you have been in the game for 15 years you should know this.

 

I am curious. Yes, I would like to know too.

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

 

2) Never give your cell phone number to an SP. NEVER! Receiving an unsolicited text message from your mistress or SP when your home and the cell phone is left on the kitchen counter may be difficult to explain.

 

3) Don't call or text message an SP using your cell phone. Even if you erase the text, the SP now has your number (see lesson #2).

 

My my, aren't we the nefarious bunch! Or perhaps we are all thought to be silly enough to imagine that telemarketing would be a good idea. How about professional suicide; much easier than retiring!

 

Your privacy and discretion is as important to us as our own. That being said, if you feel that insecure, when you call or text make it clear IF there is a time frame in which she can contact you or if you wish for her to wait for YOU to contact her back. If someone tells me to not call or text after x o'clock then why would I?

 

There are only a few gents that I will text out of the blue but that is because I was given permission and we have forged a friendship.

 

We aren't money grubbing, uneducated sloths looking to solicit at any given time. Trust goes both ways!!!

[WriteOn 3250]

There are many reasons men visit SP's. Lets put it this way...if my s/o couldn't cook a steak the way I REALLY loved it, I would go out for said steak. Would I feel guilty, no.

 

 

 

Not sure it is a good analogy to compare "going out" for steak and having an intimate encounter with another woman.

[Chanel Reign 28097]

Not sure it is a good analogy to compare "going out" for steak and having an intimate encounter with another woman.

 

No, you're right. I wrote in haste trying to make a point. Sorry for that.

[Blade 160]

Perhaps my past experience was based on naiveté and I became paranoid. As I gain more experience, I'm understanding that with the right SP, trust does go both ways. Thanks Meg for reminding me of this.

 

Blade

[Blade 160]

Hey folks, I was simply sharing my opinion. I didn't think I would solicit such negative attacks.

 

My spouse is going through my texts because she doesn't trust me. Why, because I got an unsolicited text message from an SP. My phone was in the kitchen when this happen. Does she go through my personal stuff. NO!!!! My phone was on display.

I am not suggesting that all SP would do this, but this was my experience. If you feel offended by the SP that did this, then be angry with the SP in question, not me.

 

Could have I prevented this from happening. YES!!! I was stupid to leave my phone number with this individual.

 

My apologies for offending anyone who would know better.

 

Blade

[Blade 160]

My apologies. This was not meant to demean SP(s).

 

I had a bad experience with an SP who decided to text me on my private phone in the evening. My phone was left in the Kitchen where my spouse saw the display. I made a few mistakes here and you're right, the SP was very aggressive. By the way, this happened in Montreal not Ottawa.

 

When I get close the SP's location, I usually use the company cell phone. I'm the one that's the idiot that shared my personal cell phone number. Of course, I would delete all text messages, but sometimes, the mind isn't always there. I hope my honesty will be accepted with an open heart.

 

Blade

[Blade 160]

Understood LeeRichards.

 

When you play in your own back yard, extra precautions are always warranted. Needless to say, communication must be discreet and absences must have solid alibis. My SP experience in Ottawa has been very good.

 

Blade