Tips to help a guy "pop"

[Flipmatic 214]

So I don't know if it's a big problem, but I've had issues with "finishing" in a session, I haven't really had much sex outside of escorts, though I also have yet to "finish". I can do it by myself, no problem, I'm a pro at that ;). Though when I'm with one of the ladies, I don't know what's the issue. I think it could be nerves, but I've tried getting to know a couple of ladies and the nerves have gone away, I can get the tool ready, and the girls seem to have a good time, though I don't get to pop :(. Questions I pose are, has this happened to anyone? What have you done to fix it? What are some tips, and would anyone like to try for my first?

[cmrj 120]

I think many guys would like to have your problem - lasting forever, that is. I know when I'm with a new lady, it can get pretty hot. I need to pace myself otherwise I won't last!

 

My only advice here is to "save up" before a session - no sex/masturbation for at least 3 days beforehand, and try teasing yourself a bit, watching porn and such during that time. You'll be ready to burst when you finally get down to business!

 

Also, try to find a lady that caters to a particular fetish you are interested in (anal, CIM/COF, large breasts, etc.) - basically, something you rarely do or have access to in your private sex life. That will likely excite you more than your more standard encounters.

 

Finally, if you have the budget, try booking multiple hours with the lady - take her out to dinner with lots of intimate / naughty / teasing types of conversation. Build up an insatiable desire to have your way with her!

[Fresh start 17467]

I use to have a similar problem. I was on a certain prescription anti depressant which made in nearly impossible to achieve orgasm. Although the sexual desire was still there in full force. Truly a frustrating situation but what I leaned is I figured out what was the best sex for me was. I found that for me sex is about emotion just as much as the physical part. I needed to feel the passion. I even had a threesome with 2 very beautiful ladies but still could go because it was to pse, it was just raw sex without feeling any sexual emotion. If by chance you are taking some sort of medication that can cause this speak to your doctor he may be able to try a different type. Other than that you can try certain lubes like fire or ice to help add pleasure. Maybe a sex you if your interested in that sort of thing. Definitely try not to masturbate a few days and build it up. Best of luck

[Guest webothscore]

So I don't know if it's a big problem, but I've had issues with "finishing" in a session, I haven't really had much sex outside of escorts, though I also have yet to "finish". I can do it by myself, no problem, I'm a pro at that ;). Though when I'm with one of the ladies, I don't know what's the issue. I think it could be nerves, but I've tried getting to know a couple of ladies and the nerves have gone away, I can get the tool ready, and the girls seem to have a good time, though I don't get to pop :(. Questions I pose are, has this happened to anyone? What have you done to fix it? What are some tips, and would anyone like to try for my first?

 

Other than the physical stuff mentioned, a lot of it is mental. If you think of something that really appeals to you, it makes it easier to let go. Mind you, everybody is different. No matter what I think about, once or twice in a half hour for me is the norm, and quite frankly, I purposely wait on the second or third (possible third if hour booked) so that she has fun prior to me having more fun. Yeah, so think of someone or a scenario that drives you crazy and let your mind go. Enjoy your next experience.

[spud271 47779]

So I don't know if it's a big problem, but I've had issues with "finishing" in a session, I haven't really had much sex outside of escorts, though I also have yet to "finish". I can do it by myself, no problem, I'm a pro at that ;). Though when I'm with one of the ladies, I don't know what's the issue. I think it could be nerves, but I've tried getting to know a couple of ladies and the nerves have gone away, I can get the tool ready, and the girls seem to have a good time, though I don't get to pop :(. Questions I pose are, has this happened to anyone? What have you done to fix it? What are some tips, and would anyone like to try for my first?

 

I can very much sympathize with you Flipmatic as I have always had this same issue both in and out of the hobby. It's been an issue with me since the beginning when I lost it at 13. For those who say to themselves that it must be nice to keep it up for hours, in reality it isn't!!! My case is a bit different than yours, my GP seems to think it stems from PTSD. All the years of combat and constant stress on both mind and body are what have made my personal situation far worse.

 

Now I can cum. It does happen from time to time, but not frequent enough both in and out of the business for my personal satisfaction and just like you I can do it by myself no problem!!!

 

As I was just at the doctor yesterday, we talked about it a bit and he suggested that I meditate and start doing yoga to help solve it. I will let you know if it helps at all, but I would suggest doing the same to help with your situation. :)

[Guest *Ste***cque**]

Sounds like you have gotten some good advice so far. I'll take a different approach and give advice in case you can't quickly resolve your problem of not being able to "pop" during a session. What do you do now?

 

That's the great thing about what these ladies are offering to us. No judgement and an overriding concern for our pleasure. You can still have fun and just let the lady know of your issue. She will likely let you finish using your hand and even lend her own hand. Would you be too embarrassed to do that in front of a woman? I don't think you should be and if you discuss this with her beforehand I think you would have no reason for embarrassment. She may even find it hot! Maybe some SP's can comment on that?

 

It happens to more guys than you might think. Good luck!

[Boomer 33202]

You have indicated that you can do it manually, so you obviously know what it takes. Don't be shy about telling the lady about your predicament, and then coach her on the best way to get you off, doesn't really matter how initially, but once mastered should be easier with a subsequent date with the lady in question.

[IamaGeek 3664]

You've already had good advice in this thread. I just thought I would chime in and say that it occasionally happens to me too. However, I've never really worried about it. My enjoyment seems to stem from the intimate time together rather than the pop at the end. You know, the journey rather than the destination, etc. It would probably get old if it never happened but it is only about 25% of the time for me.

[Sweet Emily J 172062]

It happens to more guys than you might think.

 

True story! :) It is certainly not entirely uncommon!

 

Some guys even apologize and say "It's not you...". LOL of course it's not ME... I'm a sexy bitch!! ;) hehehe ... Seriously though, I completely understand the frustration, but it's not the end of the world, and it shouldn't make you feel less about yourself, or your time together. It happens. Things don't always go exactly as you planned.

 

There was once a time several years ago when I could not achieve an orgasm from DATY!! Can you fucking believe that! Eventually after lots of practice, it happened. I discovered that it truly was a mental barrier because after it happened just once, and I realized that it actually was possible, it happened all the time :) And now it's my favourite way to cum, and gives me the best orgasms.

 

So I predict that eventually you will overcome this some way or another, but in the meantime I agree with the suggestions mentioned. There is nothing wrong with a manual finish. Add in some dirty talk and encouragement from an enthusiastic partner, and you're golden.

 

I don't think that anyone would or should feel any kind of disappointment by finishing off a streamy session stroking off your hard cock to an explosive orgasm all over my pretty little face and tits ;) Yum.

[Katherine of Halifax 113932]

I believe in total satisfaction for both. I have met many friends that have trouble with " the finish". My motto is short and sweet, what ever it takes .

 

Need a little encouragement in the way of dirty talk or whatever you think may be a tad alternative? In my mind there is nothing alternative, only happy satisfied people. Don't we all deserve this ? I say yes!!!

 

My only rule in life is no hurting each other except by mutual consent and with all due respect.

 

Love, love,love.

[Irina Adler 5376]

I agree with Emily J. It's not at all uncommon, and sometimes it's just a matter of trying various things and getting over a mental "block". I know prostate massage helped someone in my personal life- he'd never tried it before but once I did it he loved it :) It was the only thing that could guarantee an orgasm ;)

 

I also had the same problem as Empty83- I was once on medication and received the best oral EVER, but couldn't cum. Not her fault, it felt amazing, the medication just made things very difficult.

 

Typically I've found it very difficult to cum just from rubbing when someone else is doing it, but recently I had someone do it and bam! Orgasm! I just relaxed and let things happen, I didn't try to pressure myself into making it happen. I think what helped is exactly what Emily J said- believing it was possible. I just decided that it was possible that it may happen, even though it never had before.

 

Don't put too much pressure on yourself, try to relax, and experiment some more :)