spendthrifts, misers and everything in between

[CristyCurves 169032]

I was given a lecture recently by a friend when I openly mentioned in a conversation that I was a spendthrift, terrible with money, as I'm always buying something or searching for something to spend money on. I thought I was just being honest as I am reckless with money and always have been, hence my need to escort part time;) I find this ironic as both my parents were great investors and business people, my mother has an accounting background and quite frugal, my father too was good with money but a little more carefree with it.

Do you feel that money and your ways with it an inappropriate topic, if not how are you with money and do you think this is learned behavior or just choice behavior?

[Guest realnicehat]

I think traditionally, the topic of money was considered nobody's business but your own. Like religion or politics it has the potential to change a pleasant conversation in to an argument quickly.

 

That being said, I don't really feel that you bringing up your spendthrift ways is an overly taboo subject. I have noticed that many of my younger friends are freer in their discussion of money. Of course, no one is divulging what they have in the bank or bragging. It is more of an open dialogue about money management or lack there of.

 

Just remember, money is one of those things that everyone thinks they know something about, so at any time things can get a little, shall we say, interesting?

[drlove 37204]

It's not an inappropriate topic at all. In fact, if more people were well versed in money management, Canadians likely would not have the staggering debt loads that they do. Unfortunately, it's not something they teach you in school. How you handle your money is both a learned behavior and a choice. Both of my parents were good with money and imparted their ways on myself.

 

However, once upon a time when I was young and foolish, I became enthralled with the novelty of the hobby and tended to spend a wee bit more on it than I really should have. Luckily, I realized the error of my ways and henceforth have stuck to a budget. Money management isn't rocket science; all that's needed is a bit of rudimentary knowledge. First, make sure you pay yourself. That is, whatever you earn - put aside at least 10% in savings and investments. It may seem like a daunting task at first but you'll get used to it. Case in point, I now invest over a third of my income and don't even flinch.

 

You also need an emergency fund for, you guessed it - emergencies! Try to have on hand at least six months of income in your daily bank account in case something drastic happens and you can't work. At least you'll have money to live on without going into debt. Next , hire yourself a reputable financial advisor and listen! Some good starting points include setting up an RRSP so you can benefit from the tax breaks, maxing it out if you can, opening up a TFSA, putting excess monies into non-registered investments, and finally when you're on secure financial footing - investing in real estate.

 

Granted, that's a lot to take in, and it won't happen overnight. It took me years to get to where I am today, but I can tell you without a doubt, it's all worth it. Your future self will thank you - trust me on this. The key is to start off slowly, but make sure you start - the sooner the better. Also, pick up some good books that will guide you through the basics ; "The Wealthy Barber" by David Chilton, The "Automatic Millionaire" by David Bach and a book by Kevin O'leary - I think it's called "The Truth On Men, Women and Money" will be greatly beneficial to you. Good luck!

[Tallguy007 4172]

I think a lot of it is learned behavior.

 

My parents grew up in relative poverty (over half a dozen siblings each probably didn't help either). I'm actually not so sure if we had it better or not. Sure I wore hand-me downs from my uncles, and we recycled bikes and some toys, but why waste perfectly good stuff? Same stuff with food, we cleaned up our plates -- no waste.

 

When I said I wasn't sure I had it better, is simply that while I was a child I had everything I needed, and a few things I wanted. My wants were kept reasonable, otherwise they'd just be fantasies.

 

Now as a parent with decent income I feel very confused. I'll buy the generic brands at the grocery store to save a few dollars on that bill, and then go buy an electronic gizmo I don't really need for hundreds. I'll buy generic brands for groceries to save a buck or two, but order take-out two or three times a week. Sit on an office chair a buddy of yours picked up on a curb while playing on a high-end computer. Give the kids a hard time about wasting their allowance while secretely planning my next CERB encounter... (CERB isn't a waste of money, it's wellness therapy)

[Guest Ot**w***og****n]

As we didn't have a lot of money when I was growing up my parents were somewhat cautious in their spending. They never used credit at all and only paid cash for what they wanted or needed. Their philosophy was "if you don't have the cash to pay for it, you don't buy it." In my younger days, I was a bit of a free-spender, but I never went into debt for frivolous things. I usually always had a car loan and I changed cars whenever I wanted to so that's where I spent a lot of my money between car payments, car insurance and maintenance/repairs. I like horse-power and the more the better. Gas at one time was cheap so a high-powered vehicle wasn't an issue like it is today. There was a time when I paid about 45 cents per gallon (yes a gallon and not a litre). Muscle cars are pretty much extinct but some great restorations can still be had if you have the money to pay for them and to operate them. Lots of us baby boomers have sought out the muscle cars of our youth. I still love Road Runners with 440 six packs or 426 hemis in them along with z-28 Camaros, 429 Cobra jet Mustangs, 1966 Corevettes with 400 hp 427 cu in engines and the like. I'd probably drop upwards of $100 K on one of these without thinking. Yet, when doing my grocery shopping I shop the specials quite often and I am generally careful with my money on day to day things. I guess I'm all over the place when it comes to my spending practises. $20 K for a new Harley is no problem just write a cheque and bingo it's mine. Same is true with a lady companion as I gladly pay the going rate and usually throw in much more. I don't haggle (Re: the Negotiating Thread), but if I can save 50 cents on a can of soup I'm quite happy. Go figure!! I have a sound investment portfolio and considerable savings so I'm good.

[Boomer 33202]

I don't think it's a subject that's off limits. I am like your dad, fairly good with money but at times carefree. I have some quite high limits on a number of credit cards, and so have to practice discipline. I do like my toys, and spend cyclically. I don't particularity like debt so tend to take time to pay my balances before I spend again.

 

I like the doctor automatically saved at least 10% of my income over my work life, which wasn't missed once I got used to it, and it is definitely enabling me to live comfortably in retirement. I highly recommend saving a portion of your income because relying on a government pension down the road is not going to be enough. That time also coming a lot sooner than you think.

[Studio 110 by Sophia 150333]

I feel that this is most certainly a learned behaviour. I was once a spendaholic, buying silly things, without really noticing the amount per month I would spend. But as I grew older, I learned thst the moment of thrill or satisfaction of buying these unnecessary items just did not buy happiness. I have learned the value of a dollar, and now buy bigger items, cars, houses, rrsp, etc is now my new obession. Bulding my bank, credit and therefore feeling like I have much more freedom.

So in effect, I have traded my spending habits, into a making and saving habit. I had come to terms with the fact thoes jeans I really want, are only going to buy my hsppiness for about half a day, vs raising my credit score so that I know can buy houses, etc..

I feel this comes with maturity. I am happy that I figured this out at my age now rather than waiting till it was too late. I still have a ways to go, but I am getting there:)

[Guest c**io**m7]

My theory is simple...can't take it with you when you die so have fun now and enjoy life.

[Midnite-Energies 110563]

I have become quite used to being thrifty from necessity that it's a part of what I do now and it's more natural than anything else. make sit difficult to treat myself if/when I can because there is always something else I could be spending it on. Mind you, it's still necessity.

 

Money is like politics though, I don't talk about it. It's too much of a "passion point' with people and everyone has an opinion and seems to feel the need to share, vehemently at times. Just not worth the negative energy created. I find most people talk from their own personal "bubble" without thinking that their bubble is different than my reality.

[CristyCurves 169032]

So many interesting answers and good points, thank you. I can see how money can be a touchy subject and although I don't believe in divulging ones means or savings as this can be inferred as bragging I don't feel it a negative to divulge spending habits. I could blame mine on my parents as they bailed me out of considerable debt umpteem times throughout my life and the debt was just from wastefulness but in the end we all have to take responsibility for our mistakes, shortcomings and bad behaviors. I have learned to be more thrifty than I used to be, still could use some improving though. I just don't get how someone can go through a day without spending lol!

[roamingguy 300292]

I'm no financial wiz by any means. One thing, in regards to this lifestyle, is I use disposable income I have on hand...no credit whatsoever. Even booking a hotel, I use my credit card only to make a reservation, but pay for the room in cash. If a hotel won't take cash payments, they don't get my business. If I got started using credit for this lifestyle, well it would soon catch up with you fast, and in a bad way

Second thing, my truck is old...but paid for. Some days I think I should buy a new or newer vehicle, but having monthly payments again, well that idea kinda sucks...I think I'll drive the truck till it won't drive no more

RG

[Guest webothscore]

For me it started out as a learned behaviour and still is to some degree, but depending on what's happening in my life, choice kicks in. Many of us have days where we feel like we have to reward our past efforts, so we might overspend on something. Secondly, sometimes money therapy kicks in to make ourselves feel better about something. Life cannot be all work and chores, so spending, while may add to a little debt for some, helps in more ways than one. Also, the economy gives back a little when it gets happy with our money :) welcome back Cristy, we missed you.

[CristyCurves 169032]

I'm no financial wiz by any means. One thing, in regards to this lifestyle, is I use disposable income I have on hand...no credit whatsoever. Even booking a hotel, I use my credit card only to make a reservation, but pay for the room in cash. If a hotel won't take cash payments, they don't get my business. If I got started using credit for this lifestyle, well it would soon catch up with you fast, and in a bad way

Second thing, my truck is old...but paid for. Some days I think I should buy a new or newer vehicle, but having monthly payments again, well that idea kinda sucks...I think I'll drive the truck till it won't drive no more

RG

You are smart RG using cash this is what I try to do also as credit cards can get me into trouble, I like boomer have high limits and a rather immature attitude when using them, almost like its free. As far as your truck if it works and gets you to and from why get a new one. I am starting to question my love of always having to have a "new" luxury car and I am seriously thinking of getting something more practical. Next buy, a suv that is good on gas that way I'll have room in a vehicle for a big dog:) a better reason to invest money in.

[HalifaxMan58 2206]

RG'S post reminded me of my old 1998 Plymouth Voyager van. I kept it far longer than I should have putting about $3000.00+ in repairs where I should have retired it, but just couldn't seem to part with it. Finally last year in early June I decided after 14 years it was time to invest in a new van, as I use it to transport a person in a wheel chair. I made a large deposit down on it, & in another 2-3 years the bank and I will part co-ownership on it.

 

I also use cash for hotel/ motel/ Inns, or I should say debit card. Of course one always has to book with a credit card. I use cash only for the lifestyle which I am new to. I believe if you have to use a charge card, you really can't afford to be doing it, IMHO.

 

I wouldn't say that I am careless with my money, but at times I am certainly care free with it. ;)

 

My 5 cents worth.

[Guest Ot**w***og****n]

Living within one's means makes for a more restful sleep at night. I agree with RG. My current vehicle is seven years old and runs/works just fine so I'm not about to buy a new one. This was not the case when I was in my early 20's that's for sure (as I said previously). I don't owe one cent and I like that...I sleep well.

[Meaghan McLeod 179664]

When I worked in my straight job, I made really decent money. I always knew every two weeks I would have a pay cheque. I ate out almost always, lived a high life, had lots of credit and never saved a penny. Then I got sick, and couldn't work. While waiting for disability to be approved, my income was drastically reduced. Had to live within my means. Had to give up my toys (ATV's) etc, and really stick to a budget.

 

I still live within my means. I always put money aside so I am never in a position to have to take a call that I don't want to do, because I need the money. Everything is cash, never credit. I still treat myself, but as far as spending money because I have it, I won't. Its easier to sleep at night.

[Fresh start 17467]

I use to try and save money and plan ahead. Then I learned things can easily ruin those plans. My wife got sick and plans to have children fell through. Then I realized life can be a bitch. If I don't spend when I want before I know it may be too late. Then again I only buy something when I want it and pay cash. It's also rare I want or need something. Although working all the time and not having a social life you kinda don't feel guilty when you spend especially when you can afford it.

[CristyCurves 169032]

I think in this day and age anyone without a nest egg should rethink their ways of saving/spending. I have always put some aside but have been lucky to have been left some money as well, the financial future of relying on pensions, ect and so on is no longer a good idea, having a secure nest egg is.

As far as recklessly using my spending money well that's a different story, lol. But I don't think reading books or other ways are going to change this as I feel old habits to hard to break and frugality wasn't passed on to me:(