Best way to say no?

[Guest S****an]

One issue I'm sure all SC patrons have dealt with is the regrettable necessity of having to turn down dancers who ask to sit down with you from time to time. Competition is so fierce these days it is easy to feel like a chicken at a coyote convention. As I found out by walking into Pigale's at the wrong time of day, this is practically a survival skill :) I hate having to turn any girl down, as I can imagine rejection is never any fun, but $$$ are not unlimited, alas.

 

One thing that has surprised me is that I find I get some genuinely hurt looks when I politely(of course) say something like "Thank you but I'm waiting for someone else" when they ask to sit down, rather than say no to a dance after chatting for a while. My thoughts are that it is more considerate for the girl to not waste her time chatting (as much as I might like it), but that doesn't seem to always the right approach.

 

I would be curious to know how other folks handle this situation.

[m**k 153]

This is a big problem...last week I had to tell a girl to get off me and leave and that was a first for me. She was really aggressive and the halitosis didn't help. I have also used the same line "I am waiting for someone"...but I also make sure that I do not initiate eye contact. I will look at her and smile if she approaches directly and will wait for her to sit and chat a bit before saying anything. It is more and more a competitive environment and one of the reasons why I don't frequent SC as often.

[castle 38816]

The thing I hate worst is when they take it upon themselves to sit down uninvited with you, all smiles and friendly, but the second you mention you are not interested they act like you just spat a loogy into their drink, lol. Thankfully, I find this to be a rarity in my experience. The majority of the time they'll smile and gracefully take their leave. But there is that one bitch out of a hundred gems that really ruins the whole experience for me.

[geo007 203]

Agree it is a sensitive thing. One line I used with success was '' Sorry you are very pretty but remind me of my sister so you are really not my type. sorry'' . Was actually true, bought her a drink, she appreciated and as a good gesture showed me and let me feel her boobs.... They were better than my sisters'... (for looks cause never touched my sisters' ...yuk...)

[D-Blue 224]

Standing at the bar usually deters some dancers. I get far fewer approaches when there is nowhere for a dancer to sit. If I'm sitting I find telling them that you 'promised' a dance to somebody else works well if you add that you will catch them next time. Thankfully many do not remember!

[m**k 153]

Agree it is a sensitive thing. One line I used with success was '' Sorry you are very pretty but remind me of my sister so you are really not my type. sorry'' . Was actually true, bought her a drink, she appreciated and as a good gesture showed me and let me feel her boobs.... They were better than my sisters'... (for looks cause never touched my sisters' ...yuk...)

 

That's hilarious (better than my sisters'!)...on another but similar topic, what is up with dancers asking if we can by them a drink? I have had this pulled on me recently and when I said sure, she proceeded to pick the most expensive drink ($18...something with cognac and redbull). She may have had a free drink but that was it.

[curious2 323]

I readily admit that I kind of suck at this as pretty girls are absolutely my Achilles Heel, but I have had some luck with ordering food to provide an excuse, or saying that I just promised a particular girl that I'd wait for her to come back. I have managed to just say "no thank you" and immediately avert my eyes on some (albeit rare) occasions

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[heatwave2000 369]

Saying "I'm waiting for someone else" is kind of a bruise to their ego. These girls are often really competitive with each other. They may interpret it as "I'm waiting for that girl that's hotter than you".

 

If I'm really not interested, before they even sit down I'll say "Thanks, but I'm enjoying my drink with my friends or by myself" whatever the case may be.

 

If I do chat with them for a bit and then turn them down I say "You're very beautiful and I'd love to have a dance with you, but I think I'll just hang out and enjoy the show".

 

The key is just not to make it seem personal. Although these girls are getting paid for this, they still have an ego.

[Guest ye****y1*3]

i normally try not to lie and just say, perhaps later...right now my friends and i are just going to enjoy some beers and talk. most dont come back and are on to the next one.

yes, you can make friends at these places....but for the most part these girls are looking to make money, and give you a good time...so view it as that and perhaps it will make it easier for you to refuse a dance and accept and or look for the one you really want.

[Loki318 1631]

I go to a SC only about once a year !!!! I always drink too much, spend too much and dance too much, usually close the place!!!

Always blow about a full month or more of my Hobby budget!!

Latest visit was last week could have two all-nighters for what a dropped in there OMG!!! Was lucky to escape with my G-string !!! When they see your getting a little too drunk and still have a few bucks they turn in to "She Wolves" circling for the kill....

 

I just CAN'T say no to a pretty girls especially if she is 3/4 nakid and is about to get all nakid :)

 

Loki318

[rick_falcon 911]

You guys are weak... LOL

 

I have been going to SC for a long time, and as anything else, you catch some tricks but you also learn the tricks.

Over time, I learned to say no, sometimes bluntly if I have to. Most strippers are very polite and classy but some can be rude and annoying.

When I walk in an SC, I owe nothing to no one. I spend my cash on who I want.

 

If I want to buy a lady a drink, that's my decision and not hers.

Same with dances in the CR. If she is not happy, there are other guys around.

Otherwise, it comes out as an evening of overspending and the ROI comes out pretty small.

 

Just my 2 cents...

[Guest gagagaga]

I find "no thanks" and a smile works just fine

[antlerman 17064]

no..thanks.....

I just came in for a little alone time and a beer....and to look at pretty ladies on stage

Not staying long........just wanted to see who was in or if my friends made it here.....

[jdstar 1065]

This turn down has worked on many occasions, and always has gotten a smile...

 

"I can't be trusted with a girl as pretty as you. The last time I went for a dance with the "prettiest girl in the club" I was there all night - and missed my car payment! I would love too, but I know I'll get myself in big trouble with you".

 

I don't really go to strip clubs anymore, so anyone can feel free to claim this as there own. :-D

[survived70s 582]

I wanted to point out that most girls actually pay to work at the SCs. The only money they make is from dancing. Very few are paid... I get the impression that business has not been great lately. One of the dancers told me about some guy that told this very hot dancer that he went to strip clubs all the tme and never got dances - he was proud of himself ! I had been "dating" a dancer, and, of course, she preferred me not to visit CR with others in the club, so I would buy drinks...

Perhaps if a dancer does sit with you for a while, you should be decent enough to buy a dance or two, or, when she asks about joining you, tell her up front "Sure you can join me, but Im not planning on getting any/many dances".

[Guest S****an]

Survived: I agree with you. Don't get me wrong - it's great that the dancers are more apt to come and ask to chat. Some of my favorite dancers are girls I might not have asked on my own but I said yes to the CR after chatting to them for a while. I definitely prefer it to the old days , where you sometimes had to fire a flare (almost) to get a dancer's attention :)

Funds are limited though.

Thanks to the guys who posted so far.

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[Kubrickfan 12836]

I have always found that a straightforward and polite approach works best. If the lady says hi, or asks to sit down, I will either say "thanks for stopping by, but I am waiting for another lady," which is usually the truth, or, "you are welcome to sit down, but I likely wont be going for any dances any time soon." Sometimes they sit, usually they dont, and sometimes I will offer to buy them a drink, after I repeat my "no dance anytime soon" line.

 

It has never been anything other than a perfectly polite and friendly conversation. Out of respect for the ladies, I would not want it to be anything less than that.

 

One of the most respected ladies at Barbs, who has danced for many years and has a lot of clients told me that its still hard to say that first hello ... we should keep that in mind and show the proper level of respect for these ladies as they have a tough job.

[dexterS3 134]

it is tough sometimes when they get up and all pretty in your face touching you it tends to be harder to say no.

the one thing i look for before heading to the fun room :grin: how many times they have been back to the room if they haven't been much normanly there dances are better because they want you to stay.

[BigBlueMachine 112]

Tough to say no anytime but normally I like some time to view the options of all the ladies available that night. Normally I just say "Wow you're gorgeous but I just arrived - why don't you come back a bit later".

[mayou 100]

I went to Pigales two weeks ago and a dancer under the influence came over and sat down with me and my friend. She mumbled something that we both couldn't really understand but more or less was 'Come with me to the champagne room'. As she was sitting closer to my buddy, I excused myself to go to the bathroom. When I came back, she had moved on to the next table. I got the 'You bastard !' from my friend. I know I was sort of a a-hole.

My way is to pass the buck to the other guy(s) at your table.

[goose2ca 458]

What I do is allow the girl to at least introduce herself and exchange a few pleasantries, and then tell her thanks but I am just "checking things out for a while". If I am already waiting for a certain girl I will say so.

[slurp 7020]

I'm a weak pathetic fool, unless the girl induces a gag reflex i usually will agree to a dance. That's why I usually stay out of SC .... I can't resist a pretty girl!

 

But I try to be upfront as soon as possible about whether they are wasting their time. They seem to appreciate that so they can move on to the next guy to make some cash.

[Apollo12 220]

The trick is to never say no.....Sure, have a seat..but I have no money. How about we chat for an hour. They leave everytime.

 

Just make sure you don't make eye contact when your trotting off with another girl to the Champagne room.

 

Hey its better than having wasting their time and your money

[mustard11 242]

Great thread. I just returned home from a short trip to Ottawa. I visited Barbs and the Playmate for the first time.

 

What I learned, is that honesty is the best policy to a certain point. When I first walk into a club and a girl sits with me in the first 5 minutes she usually gets the line "I just got here and want to drink a couple beers before I go for a dance" This line is true, however, when the girl comes back 20 minutes later you now need another line if you don't want her to dance for you.

Personally, I love the line "I am waiting for a specific girl to dance for me" This line is normally true as well. I have never walked into a club and couldn't pick out a girl that I thought was very hot and was willing to wait for. I think this is a great line because if the girls feelings are hurt she needs to get a thicker skin, because you did not say you are waiting for a hotter girl. And the bonus is, sometimes that girl will go and tell the girl you are waiting for that she has a guy willing to spend a few dollars on her. I personally love it when that happens, saves me trying to gesture or make eye contact. Or saves you the frustration of watching the girl you want sit at a table with guys who hope she will sit and talk for the entire evening.

 

I did make some rookie mistakes on this trip as well. In my first hour at Barbs, a girl which I did not find attractive slid into the seat next to me and after a short conversation she asked if I wanted to go and get a dance. I did not want a dance from her and blurted out the line "I am not getting any dances" a total lie of course, because no more than 20 minutes later I got a very dirty look from her as I walked into the back with a different girl. Another mistake I made was that I went for a "pity dance". I listened to a girl chat about how she hasn't made any money and how she might not be able to go out with her friends that night. So, like a sucker, I went and had a girl I was not interested in dance for me for a couple songs. I swore this will never happen again.

[Winnipegcub 21293]

Wow we're like brothers.

Every experience you highlight and how you responded is exactly how I've reacted to over 10 years of travels to Ott and visiting Barbs.

 

After dropping about $300/night for some very nice shows, finally my last trip I thought I might try a SP. Wow for not much difference in price I of course had a very different experience and met a beautiful lady that I know will become a friend. Well at least as close as a client and SP can be friends. I've graduated and may never go back to the SC scene again.

 

Great thread. I just returned home from a short trip to Ottawa. I visited Barbs and the Playmate for the first time.

 

What I learned, is that honesty is the best policy to a certain point. When I first walk into a club and a girl sits with me in the first 5 minutes she usually gets the line "I just got here and want to drink a couple beers before I go for a dance" This line is true, however, when the girl comes back 20 minutes later you now need another line if you don't want her to dance for you.

Personally, I love the line "I am waiting for a specific girl to dance for me" This line is normally true as well. I have never walked into a club and couldn't pick out a girl that I thought was very hot and was willing to wait for. I think this is a great line because if the girls feelings are hurt she needs to get a thicker skin, because you did not say you are waiting for a hotter girl. And the bonus is, sometimes that girl will go and tell the girl you are waiting for that she has a guy willing to spend a few dollars on her. I personally love it when that happens, saves me trying to gesture or make eye contact. Or saves you the frustration of watching the girl you want sit at a table with guys who hope she will sit and talk for the entire evening.

 

I did make some rookie mistakes on this trip as well. In my first hour at Barbs, a girl which I did not find attractive slid into the seat next to me and after a short conversation she asked if I wanted to go and get a dance. I did not want a dance from her and blurted out the line "I am not getting any dances" a total lie of course, because no more than 20 minutes later I got a very dirty look from her as I walked into the back with a different girl. Another mistake I made was that I went for a "pity dance". I listened to a girl chat about how she hasn't made any money and how she might not be able to go out with her friends that night. So, like a sucker, I went and had a girl I was not interested in dance for me for a couple songs. I swore this will never happen again.