Best way to say no?

[curious2 323]

I've graduated and may never go back to the SC scene again.

 

 

That's not the first time that term has been used here, and it won't be the last I'm sure, but it sure doesn't apply to everyone. Strip clubs are enjoyable and will always have a place. The variety's unbeatable. Even though it IS hard to say no to any of those pretty girls! :-D

[castle 38816]

A dancer will ALWAYS tell you it's been a slow night, I don't want to come right out and say that they're lying, especially when I usually go during the day, when it IS pretty quiet. But even at night I've never had a dancer tell me she was raking in the dough, lol.

[Guest S****an]

That's not the first time that term has been used here, and it won't be the last I'm sure, but it sure doesn't apply to everyone. Strip clubs are enjoyable and will always have a place. The variety's unbeatable. Even though it IS hard to say no to any of those pretty girls! :-D

 

Very well said, Curious 2. I have always had a soft spot in my heart for dancers and notwithstanding the various changes in SCs over the years I find that for the most part the thrill of meeting these wonderful girls hasn't faded.

 

I am glad to see that many posters have given some thought to turning girls down gently. Being pressured into a dance you don't want does sometimes ruin or at least shorten the evening.

[ekimout 188]

In life you should always be honest, polite, and respectful. So, why should this be any different. Just say no thank-you.

 

You may have just entered the club and want her to come back later, then say that.

You may not be interested in her at all, then say, you don't want to waist her time and that you are not interested, thank-you.

If she askes if she can sit with you, be polite, say yes if you are interested and say no if you are not, thank-you.

 

Don't be afraid that you are hurting anyones feelings, this is a business and the girls will appreciate the honest, polite, respectful approach, and that you are not waisting there time and costing them money. And the ones who don't, aren't worth your time anyway.

 

Thank you,

[MandalayBay 575]

There are some ladies here on CERB who exotic dance. I would love hear their responses on how to most politely and respectfully say "no" when you don't want a dance.

 

My boyfriend and I absolutely love going to watch exotic dancers together in Toronto. We prefer to tip dancers who put on a good show on stage, rather than hire them for private dances. That is our preference when going as a couple.

 

We are no longer going to the Brass Rail because of the aggressiveness of some of the dancers. We've had women pull themselves up a chair to our table after respectfully saying no.

 

It's a tough situation because the dancers at the Brass Rail are only paid $10 per dance and make their living by doing private dances. You want to support them, but what do you do when you just want to enjoy a beer and watch the stage show?

[Guest S****an]

I was in Vegas last week and I must say this thread came in very handy. Managed to visit 2 SCs (Club Paradise and Treasure's). Treasure's is definitely the better of the two, very large and upscale, but in both the dancers were aggressive on a whole different level then our homegrown girls.

They are on you the second you enter the club and apparently the US english words for "no thanks" mean something different than in Canadian english :).

I must thank geo007 because I tried the line "I can't ask you for a dance because you look my sister" on a very pretty phillipino gal (from Frisco) whom I very much wanted a dance with. She thought that was pretty funny (I'm of scottish descent and look it) and we had a great time together.

The added twist to Vegas is that once they sit down they start to pressure you to go to the VIP room which can be up to $140 per three songs or $500 for an hour. Needless to say, save your money for gambling or better yet our good ol' Canadian gals.

Not to mention the clubs are just a bit brighter than a broom closet. :cry:

Anyone who would like further intel please feel free to pm me.

[redwood 100]

I don't have a great way to say no to a dancer. I certainly have made many rookie mistakes and ended up paying dearly. I just wanted to add my comments about how many of the girls in the clubs must not appreciate that spending time in a CR is a very expensive hobby. $100 can disappear in 15 minutes sometimes less. Most girls aren't happy if you take them for just one dance. Therefore no girl should be hurt or offended if I say no to them. There may be 20 or more girls trolling for business and I will maybe go into the back with 3 of them and that will still make for an expensive night. So please don't be hurt and certainly there is no need to be rude if I politely say "no".

[Jabba 18389]

I haven't been to a SC in about 17yrs, so consider me a newb. Actually, an SC doesn't do anything for me, but this thread has me curious. How does this dance system work?

 

...The girl sits down and chats with you and then asks if you want a dance? How do you know how much they charge? Is it posted somewhere or does she tell ya or is it knowledge from experience?

 

What's the big deal about the CR? Is it a private place for private things or is it just the same dance as you would get with the rest of the world watching, but quieter place ?

 

I heard somewhere that some girls claim they danced with you and demand huge $$ - how the hell does that happen and how do you deal with that??

[Guest S****an]

I haven't been to a SC in about 17yrs, so consider me a newb. Actually, an SC doesn't do anything for me, but this thread has me curious. How does this dance system work?

 

...The girl sits down and chats with you and then asks if you want a dance? How do you know how much they charge? Is it posted somewhere or does she tell ya or is it knowledge from experience?

 

What's the big deal about the CR? Is it a private place for private things or is it just the same dance as you would get with the rest of the world watching, but quieter place ?

 

I heard somewhere that some girls claim they danced with you and demand huge $$ - how the hell does that happen and how do you deal with that??

 

Hi Jabba - basically you have the idea. The girl sits down with you, you chat for a while then you go for a dance. The days of the girl dancing at the table are pretty much over (I'm not sure some clubs even have that option anymore, except perhaps after a "showcase" where all the ladies appear on stage), then she will lead you to a "Champagne room (CR)", which is a semi-rivate. CRs vary from club to club, ones in Ontario tend to be more open and less private. Rates are a standard $20 per song in this area, but it doesn't hurt to ask.

CR dances today definitely aren't your daddy's table dance :). Treat the girl with respect, don't expect anything illegal, and I guarantee a fun experience.

As for getting ripped off, I have been going for many years and I haven't had an experience of the sort you mention. I won't say nothing bad can happen, but the clubs here in Ottawa/Gatineau are pretty much on the level and I would hazard to say that they don't tolerate things that are bad for business.

Occasionally, it will happen that there is a difference of opinion in the number of songs that you had dances for, but that's reasonably rare and I always give the dancer the benefit of the doubt. If I think it wasn't an honest difference of opinion, I just won't go back to that lady. Stick with the ladies mentioned on this board and you won't go wrong.

[Guest gagagaga]

all excellent advice Skids...i'll add one thing...if you can keep track of the songs and confirm with the girl every so often..."this is 4 now right?"...is a good idea

[strider1620 110]

How I say no to a dancer:

 

- I don't like leading a dancer on. A quick no is better than a slow no for both of us. Most girls understand we guys have our types, and that if a dancer isn't our type she doesn't stand a chance through no fault of her own. That said, I don't want to be rude either so I will never refuse a girl at my table even if I want to. But I will be evasive in conversation, make little eye contact and make no physical contact with the dancer at all - these are meant to be strong hints. Sometimes aggressive girls will take these signs as shyness and take it up as a challenge so this strategy does have its pitfalls.

 

- When the question does come, I find a simple "no thanks" is best. I don't feel it necessary to explain, and when I hear from my favourite dancer what some guys say it sounds downright cruel. Don't say "You're the ugliest girl I've ever seen" even if she is. Have some respect for the dignity of the dancer. Don't tell her that her breasts are too big or too small, that she looks too young or too old, that she is too short or too tall or too fat or too thin. If pressed, tell her she isn't your type or that you aren't in the mood. Once I turned down a dancer because she looked and sounded like a co-worker I couldn't stand - but why tell her that?

 

- If you are there to see a specific dancer, don't be afraid to say so. Most girls will respect other girl's guys. Don't use this as a ruse - you'd better mean it because you might find your requested dancer delivered to your table.

 

- On rare occasion a girl will start to badger you. I don't know why they do this - it just makes for all-round unpleasantness. The only solution I know for this situation is to finish your drink and leave.

 

A note for dancers approaching me - If I don't have a drink or have barely started it, I have not been in the club long enough to make up my mind. If you approach me at this time I will most likely say "I'm just settling in". I want to see who is on, look for favourites, and generally take in the surroundings. Also, if I say to a dancer that I'll "keep her in mind" I am not brushing her off - she is in contention, I just need more time.

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[Mister C 1725]

I was in the one and only club we have here and within minutes of sitting down I was approached by one of the dancers. She asked if she could sit with me. I have no problem with buying a dancer a drink but had no intention of getting a private dance as she was not my type. She was persistent though. I told her politely over and over again I was not ready for a private dance as I had just gotten there and was waiting for some friends to arrive. She sat with me for 10 minutes and must have asked me about 20 times to get a private dance. Fortunately for me she was up next and had to get ready. When my friends arrived, they are regulars, they told me she gets rude when you say no to private dances. I could see that. I love to get private dances. Not so much here as there is no contact and the dancer is on her own little stage. Take me back to Quebec and Ontario though and the money flows.

[strider1620 110]

She was persistent though. I told her politely over and over again I was not ready for a private dance as I had just gotten there and was waiting for some friends to arrive. She sat with me for 10 minutes and must have asked me about 20 times to get a private dance.

 

Hmmm... Sounds like a badger to me. I've run into a few of those myself. Best to avoid if possible. That's why I only buy drinks for girls I really like.

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