Compliments

[Motorbykerider 4754]

Do you give them freely?

 

I was thinking I would try to give a perfect stranger (female of course) a compliment every day or at least as often as I could or as the opportunity would allow.

However, when this comes from some bald 50 year old father looking type, is it creepy?

 

I certainly don't want to come across as creepy or perverted so how do you go about it?

Should I limit it to women over 30? 40?? ugh, 50???

 

On a recent bike trip, I told an info booth girl, approx 18, that she had the most beautiful eyes that I had ever seen. (true statement) Her response was "I hear that all the time" MMMmmmm, OK I thought. Must be nice. Compliment wasted.

 

Just today at a tourist place we were approached by an attractive young girl and we were asked if we could answer a few questions.

My response was "we're not usually approached by pretty girls, but sure."

 

Was that innocent enough? My buddies were impressed that I was coming out of my shell but were not used to that from me. We call it "no fucks were given"

 

At a recent trip to a strip club in QC something came over me.

If a girl sat and chatted I would tell her exactly what I thought of her, politely of course.

You have a fantastic smile, eyes and even personality etc.

 

Do you think this serves ANY purpose at all?

[Midnite-Energies 110563]

Personally any compliment that is honestly and freely given generates positive energy and can turn any moment into an extraordinary moment. As long as they are sincere they don't come off as creepy. If people react negatively or dismissively, don't take it as a waste, it was simply deflected good energy and the person probably wasn't open to it anyway.

 

The nice thing about this type of thing is that it usually starts a reaction, a pay it forward. If it makes you feel good, you want to make someone else feel good and before long, things are good.

 

Keep it light and playful and most people don't react badly to it. Mind you some react with a blank stare like "what just happened" because they're not used to it. I compliment on cool hair colors, jewelry, clothes, smiles or just someone enjoying a moment. So far, no one has reacted badly.

 

I love it....bring it on!

[steveyK 4311]

I find compliments, respectfully stated, are very well received. I don't go out looking to give them, but if one is necessary, the lady accepts, usually blushing. You could have just made her day! You don't knoe if she's a single mom working a long shift, or maybe has three kids at home who wouldn't compliment her, or any number of scenarios..... so keep those ladies happy, respectfully of course! ;)

[Guest B**na***oy]

Keep it light and playful and most people don't react badly to it.

 

I love it....bring it on!

 

As usual, wise words from Midnite. At our age, we are always walking the fine line between being a gracious gentleman or a dirty old man. Just keep it light, playful and respectful.

[antlerman 17064]

Giving a compliment is a lost art....and something most men have been shamed into not doing any more.

 

When you receive a compliment....thank the person.....just thank them.

 

wether or not you think it real or genuine...... just thank the person.....and take the compliment.

 

Most women often reply with...

" I am not that thin...I could loose a few pounds...."

" you are just saying that because you like me....."

" my ass does not look that good in these pants......."

 

when a man gets this type of response they often start getting gun shy....and shy away from giving out compliment...

 

I give them all the time....to the girl cashing out my groceries...for her nice eyes or smile....

To the lady in the seat next to me on the bus.......for her nice shoes or dress....

 

Hell I even told one of the Directors where I work she had great legs.....

 

 

so guys...don't be shy....do it in a tasteful way.....even if the shoes are ugly...hehehehe

[roamingguy 300292]

The compliment should be respectful, not creepy. It should make the person feel good after receiving it and kinda happy she met you. It shouldn't for lack of a better word, make her feel dirty or wish she never ran into you

A compliment should make a persons day, not ruin it. Will your compliment make her day

A rambling

RG

[Motorbykerider 4754]

"A compliment should make a persons day."

 

That's exactly the reason behind all of this. Nothing more.

 

But it's amazing how hard it is to do it without having that feeling of regret.

[McGuinessDraft 2240]

Chivalry is definitely a lost art. I say go with it! Maybe the trend will catch!

[gc1968 2033]

Yes its unfortunate in this day and age that people can't just take a compliment without thinking you're only giving it because you want something from them. As has been said its a bit of a lost art, as most people are so afraid to give them for fear of coming off either insincere or creepy precisely because people don't know how to take them anymore. Media, and society in general have been tearing people down for so long in order to make us feel bad about ourselves that when someone says something nice about someone else they automatically think there has to be an ulterior motive. They become uncomfortable, so they dismiss it with an offhand comment, or ignore it altogether, or in some cases become a bit hostile thinking you must be making fun of them or whatever. Sure there are still some people who understand that a compliment can be just a compliment and will thank you, but unfortunately there aren't as many people like that as there used to be.

 

That being said though, maybe if everyone who is reading this thread began to compliment at least one person a day we could turn it all around! Viva la Revolutione!

[emiafish 30979]

I will often offer a smile or a compliment to strangers, regardless of age or gender. My actions are sincere. If a smile and a kind word are perceived as creepy, then that changes nothing. Perception has nothing to do with who you are.

 

However, if I were to suddenly selectively compliment pretty young things to the exclusion of all others, then I think it would not be inappropriate to question my intentions. Happily, I'm an equal opportunity admirer.

[Jabba 18389]

May sound harsh or paranoid - I don't ever chance giving a compliment to ladies who I don't know. Period. Any comment could be perceived as sexual harassment - I've seen the corporate training videos.

 

If I know the lady well - perhaps, but it's always very neutral. I lean slightly on the positive side with any compliments.

 

I have a verbal App for that: "[Insert non-committal answer here] - have a nice day".

For eg/ If my SO asks: "Does this dress make my ASS look HUGE?", I would probably say something like: "I think the pattern is attractive - have a nice day"...I would then make a lame excuse and a discrete exit.

 

Seriously?...we've been conditioned to avoid familiar social congress in the fear that it's out of bounds. I prefer to stay a safe distance. I'm very cautious and with good reason.

[Fresh start 17467]

I'm kinda like you were, to shy or afraid to compliment others but then I though I love a kind thoughtful compliment, sometimes I wonder if its true or not but none the less it feels great. Why would they be any different? As long as its tasteful and truthful under the right circumstances, I don't see a problem.

If your still afraid to give compliment you could always send them my way, I can guarantee you, you ain't getting farther than that. Lmao!

[CristyCurves 169032]

What could be nicer to give and even better to receive. However a lot of us don't know how to respond properly as most are given unexpectedly and received with surprise which can sometimes cause inappropriate replies.

When I was younger I received two that have stayed with me both to which I didn't respond as I didn't at the time realize what the person meant, one was from a man while I was standing in front of him in a convenience store when I turned to leave he said I was going to be able to get whatever I wanted when I wanted. Another was from a man who said that I must make a lot of girls jealous. I wondered then what they meant and why someone would say things like that. In time it sunk in, lol, however I still have a hard time accepting them. But to those who like to give them, do so, just word them appropriately:)

[star99 4852]

in most cases when im in public and see a hot lady close to me or in the elevator, if I think shes hot, i'll will say something, but nothing like as if im hitting on her. i'll usually say something to make her laugh.

 

another case which was this past Friday, I had an SP over, and we got along very well, and we both were complimenting each other. but I would say she was doing it more than me.

 

only concern I had was, did she mean it? or was she just being very polite?

 

im sure there are tons of hobbyists when seeing an SP or MA get compliments a lot, so you get the idea that the lady likes you, and you will see her again. not saying that it happens to everyone, but im sure there's more than a few that this has happened.

 

I could be wrong about this Friday, I don't want to "jump the gun" and think that she really likes me. but I think there's a chance that she was just being polite and hoping that I will see her again.

 

just my thoughts, if any SP or MA care to comment on this, please feel free to do so :)

[CristyCurves 169032]

in most cases when im in public and see a hot lady close to me or in the elevator, if I think shes hot, i'll will say something, but nothing like as if im hitting on her. i'll usually say something to make her laugh.

 

another case which was this past Friday, I had an SP over, and we got along very well, and we both were complimenting each other. but I would say she was doing it more than me.

 

only concern I had was, did she mean it? or was she just being very polite?

 

im sure there are tons of hobbyists when seeing an SP or MA get compliments a lot, so you get the idea that the lady likes you, and you will see her again. not saying that it happens to everyone, but im sure there's more than a few that this has happened.

 

I could be wrong about this Friday, I don't want to "jump the gun" and think that she really likes me. but I think there's a chance that she was just being polite and hoping that I will see her again.

 

just my thoughts, if any SP or MA care to comment on this, please feel free to do so :)

Why even question it. It sounds like you had a great session, great enough to repeat, so do so and enjoy again.:) I'm sure there are some with ulterior motives when complimenting and then there are those who are sincere, trust your gut and go with the feeling it gives you. If you are still undecided just go with what YOU like, after all its your $$ and we are here to please you:). Its obviously better when its reciprocal and their is real chemistry but fun still can be had if there isn't:)

[Guest *Ste***cque**]

I am always friendly, listen to people and say thank you regularly. I also have a ready smile. However, I could probably count on one hand how many compliments I've given out. I will banter with someone and make jokes, but rarely do I actually compliment on someone's appearance or something they did. I have never received a compliment that I can recall but that's not why I don't give them freely. I just don't see them as necessary. I know that's not the case and my wife will back me up on this point. LOL Still, if I don't believe in them, they can come across as insincere and that's even worse than not giving compliments. FYI, I have no kids as I do think they need our constant encouragement to grow in confidence, so maybe if I had children I would become better at it. My wife has accepted this is a part of who I am so when I do give her a compliment she knows it was definitely sincere. I'm not suggesting this is a good way to be but it is how I am, warts and all.

[renegade 11027]

A sincere compliment delivered with an honest smile is always welcomed, I find, both with women, men and even to the parents of children who display good manners. I compliment mostly on non physical attributes such as mans suit or tie or a sharp golf shirt, I,ll compliment on someones well behaved children in a restaurant or an aircraft or when they are polite to me or others. With women I meet or deal with young or older I,ll compliment them on their shoes, dress, jewelry etc and if its a compliment on something physical its typically an interesting hair color that works or glasses that really suit their appearance nothing too personal just recognizing the effort someone has put into being nice or looking good and acts of genuine kindness, they deserve compliments.

[Cleo Catra 178382]

I do always say thank you when I receive a compliment out in public. I do appreciate it every time.

 

But the best compliments are ones that aren't based on appearance. Someone recently told me, after meeting my little dog and spending a tiny bit of time here, that he could tell there was a lot of love in my home. That was the best compliment I have ever received, and is one I'll never forget.

 

While I do smile and appreciate it when people tell me they like my tattoos or something when I walk past them, to be honest, I do forget them. It's the ones that are specific to ME, not to my looks, that I'll always remember.

[A****y E*e 6175]

I think it can be really great to receive compliments, it's just often in the way you give them that makes a difference. I think the best way is to be clear that you're not looking for anything in return, and to pay attention to the person's body language.

 

I think it's unfortunate, but I am harassed on the street so often (and by harassed I mean someone follows me, or continually tries to touch me, or won't back down even when I clearly state that I'm not interested), that anytime a man talks to me on the street and I don't know them, my initial reaction is that my guard goes up a little.I don't want to speak for everyone, but I definitely know other women who feel the same way. Which I find really sad, because sometimes conversations with people you don't know are the most interesting and engaging moments, and I feel like there's something so incredible and just human about sharing a moment with someone you wouldn't have otherwise met.

 

But, when someone is clearly giving a thoughtful and genuine compliment, and I feel respected, I think it's lovely to receive a "you look great today" comment, and I definitely appreciate them!

 

Plus, when I feel like someone is being respectful, I'm way more likely to continue a conversation with them. I was once at a bar where a guy had started talking to me, and I guess I had my guard up, and he said "you look uncomfortable, do you want me to stop talking to you?". It instantly put me at ease, and we ended up having a great conversation.

[Fresh start 17467]

What could be nicer to give and even better to receive. However a lot of us don't know how to respond properly as most are given unexpectedly and received with surprise which can sometimes cause inappropriate replies.

When I was younger I received two that have stayed with me both to which I didn't respond as I didn't at the time realize what the person meant, one was from a man while I was standing in front of him in a convenience store when I turned to leave he said I was going to be able to get whatever I wanted when I wanted. Another was from a man who said that I must make a lot of girls jealous. I wondered then what they meant and why someone would say things like that. In time it sunk in, lol, however I still have a hard time accepting them. But to those who like to give them, do so, just word them appropriately:)

 

I have to agree with you on that one, it does sound strange as a compliment almost kills the whole compliment in its context. That like saying "hey the dress doesn't make you fat." It's sad when people abuse a simple comment, but I still honest, sincere and appropriate compliments are always good IMO.

[Guest ***nsut***jr]

I would not give a compliment that I did not sincerely mean.

With strangers its probably a good thing to make sure that it doesn't come across creepy but with someone you know and have some history with I think its a great thing to tell them what you think.

If something about the person makes you feel good it should be a good thing to tell them.

Someone else may never see what you see in a smile, gesture or just a way of being that the person does so its worth saying what you think.

[Brad 49548]

I've never had the nerve to do it, but I've always thought it would be fun to get some random business cards made up with quick phrases like "you've got an awesome style", "this is to inform you your laugh is great", "the bearer of this card is one nice person".

 

I figure I'd just keep them on me and give them out randomly to people if I happen to spot them doing something nice, get good customer service, notice they've got an original outfit that works for them, etc. Just hand it to the person, smile, and walk on.

 

In my mind this kind of thing would give someone a smile (I'd know I'd love to randomly receive one) and since I'd be halfway down the street by the time they finish reading it there'd be no worries they'd think I was just hitting on them or something.

[cat 262460]

I give complements regularly and am motivated to so for a multitude of reasons. If I see someone who is looking a little down, I find something about them that is worthy of a complement; it's not hard to find one thing that is praise worthy but it is never based on genetics. I find myself complementing women more than men, I'm not sure why I'm drawn to them more. What I always find amusing is when I get a complement about my looks. I feel that complementing young women on their looks encourages them to remain image focused which is a genuine problem in our society. I have a standard reply that I started using as a teen...

 

"Thank you but I can't take any credit for the fact that I have good genetics and my parents were attractive."

 

I don't see why I should be praised for my eyes, my smile or my figure. I drew the long straw in the genetic lottery and for that I am truly thankful but complementing me on my features isn't really a credit to anything I have done. I will complement on attire, make up, attitude, wit, humor or accomplishment. Those are all things the person has control over, not what they were born with. Unless there is tequila involved, I usually am not mesmerized by appearance. I have met far too many beautiful people with black souls to be fooled into thinking how they look matters.

 

What has been lost in the art of complements is the ability to give praise with genuine reason and intention; not just as a conversation starter. Complementing the obvious is an easy way out and is usually seen as an attempt to open a dialogue which can be creepy. What a man chooses to complement me on gives much insight into who he is. If the only good thing he sees about me is my looks then he obviously is visual and won't be someone I want to start up a conversation with because I am far more tactile and cerebral in my interests.

 

Keep it simple, genuine and look for something a person has put effort into. It will contribute more "feel good" in the long run. It's not that hard...

 

cat

[loopie 15358]

I actually can't help myself. I frequently just blurt out compliments at strangers, but it's almost always about their style and so I think they usually just assume I'm gay and so they don't take it as a come-on.