Husband tells of his life married to a sex worker

Sweet Emily J · August 13, 2013

Husband tells of his life married to a sex worker

By Lucy Kippist

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/lifestyle/husband-tells-of-his-life-married-to-a-sex-worker/story-fni0d7e4-1226693480721

'EVERYONE always says to me, how can you do that? And I just say, 'I can and I have and that's my life.'

Meet Justin, 39, a Victorian man who is married to Eva, a freelance writer and sex worker.

The couple first met in high school, have now been married eight years and are raising their nine-year-old daughter.

Justin told news.com.au that Eva's choice of career has never bothered him.

"The main reason is that I'd love to be a sex worker myself but because I'm not gay there's just no market for it. And why wouldn't I want to do it? Who wouldn't want to get paid for doing that - having sex," he said.

Not surprisingly, Justin and Eva's marriage arrangement comes with several caveats - for a start they've found it necessary to separate love and sex.

"Love is emotional and sex is just physical. It's like playing squash or something. You can do that with anyone, sometimes it's great and sometimes it's not," he said.

The couple have what they call an 'open relationship', meaning Justin is also free to pursue sex outside the marriage.

"I don't have as many opportunities as Eva to do this but when I do we have an agreement that we can just go for it. The idea is that you don't miss out on anything great," he said.

Justin also said the couple regularly host swing parties and "play with friends".

"I do think men can probably do the whole separation thing a bit easier than women," he said.

Eva and Justin on their wedding day Source: Supplied

But does he think this openness means couples are happier than those who play it straight?

"I don't know if people in our circle are any happier. Life is a big complicated thing and sex is just part of the big complicated thing. But our experiences are unique and they're amazing. Sometimes just like what you see in films, and sometimes they're not."

Despite this, Justin admits the couple have faced some significant hurdles.

"I can think of one guy that I was jealous of, and that was very early on. It wasn't the sex that bothered me but the fact that he and Eva started hanging out a lot. I started thinking, hang on a second, that's crossed a line," he said.

"Straight away I spoke to Eva and we agreed that for this to work we would need to have boundaries. Clients can't be friends and friends can't be clients. And from that point on it worked."

The couple told news.com.au that their nine-year-old daughter has a basic understanding of what Eva does for a job and how their relationship works.

"She knows I work in sex related areas," Eva said. "We are very open about discussing sex and sexuality (in age appropriate ways of course) but I haven't told her specifically because I don't think she needs to know the details. Who wants to hear about their parents having sex! Ha ha. But really, she knows most of my work is related to sex in one way or another."

"When she is a bit older I will go into more detail if she wants to know. I would explain it like I explain it to most people. Sex is a basic human need and sometimes people will pay for it for a myriad of reasons."

Justin added that his daughter understands her parents live a different life to most people that she knows.

"It's not like we have orgies when she's there or have porn lying around the house - that would be wrong. But we have an alternative way of life," he said. "We just got back from driving around the Queensland and Daintree forest taking her out of school for a couple of months. Not many people would do that either."

Given that Justin and Eva's relationship is built on a foundation of something most other people would consider betrayal - what would he consider a deal-breaker?

"Lying. Trust is a massive thing. Once you break that you can't trust anything the other person might say," he said.

That said, the happy couple seem far from breaking-up.

"It's amazing. We've learned a whole bunch of amazing tricks and had so many different feelings and experiences. On the whole, sex is better than it ever was," he said.