Reco threads, and what they mean (or not)

[Phaedrus 209521]

So, there's a couple of related questions that come up occasionally.

 

If you can't say anything negative on CERB, how do you know who to avoid? And if a SP has no recommendations, or only a few, or nothing recent, what does that mean? And does it mean she's no good?

 

One thing to get out the way immediately: yes, the fact that you can't come out and say someone's no good (unless they're worth a post in the "scams and warnings" section, which is rare) is a limitation. However, the ethos of this board is that we accept that limitation in return for the generally more pleasant atmosphere that results, and consider the exchange worthwhile. There are other boards for those who wish to read the negative stuff, and there are plenty of folks who use them in tandem with this one.

 

But, it must be said, trying to work out who to see - or whether or not to see someone you're considering - is kinda tricky. The point of this post is not to try and provide a solution, because there will be as many solutions as there are readers; the idea is simply to throw some thoughts out there, and hopefully to mention one or two things that the reader may not have considered. Bear in mind that there will also be one or two things (or more) that I haven't considered, so hopefully others will fill in the blanks... and also chip in if they disagree with what I've said.

 

It is undoubtedly true that some ladies have MUCH larger reco threads than others. However, there are a great many reasons for this, and surprisingly few of them have anything to do with how good a time you'll have if you go and see the lady in question.

 

First up: you have to actually LOOK at a reco thread to evaluate it. Some consist only of recos, but others have a lot of cruft. I'm talking about posts along the lines of, "Thanks for the reco!" "How do I contact her?" "Her website's at ..." "Is she still in the business". Officially, these should be pruned out; in practice, that tends not to happen. And that means you, dear reader, have to go and see for yourself how much of a reco thread is genuine recommendations and how much is extraneous fluff. Post-count alone doesn't tell you everything.

 

Second: a great deal depends on how many clients a lady sees. Someone who sees several clients a day will probably have more recos than someone who sees a few clients per week. Someone who focuses on longer appointments will probably see fewer clients than someone who specializes in shorter ones.

 

Third: people leave and re-join this business all the time. A lady who's been inactive for a while will have a blank period when she can't possibly have acquired recos.

 

Fourth: traveling SPs may well have one reco thread in each city they visit, and those threads will necessarily look short compared to those for ladies who stay in one place.

 

Fifth: SPs who are new to the industry tend to pick up reviews more quickly than those who have been around for a while.

 

Sixth, and related to the above: most of us guys will write a reco once, when we first see someone and like her. We don't write another reco for the second visit, or the third. Maybe we'll write another one after several visits, but I think that's quite rare. This means that SPs who are acquiring new clients all the time will garner far more recos than those who rely on happy clients coming back for repeat visits. I suspect that some of the best SPs are almost invisible on the board, both because their clients won't write a reco for the fifty-third visit, and because they have so many repeats that they don't need to actually advertize for new clients.

 

Seventh: a very few ladies are on the "Do Not Review" list, and there are others who prefer not to have reviews or recos written about them. Others ask us to limit what's written ("No gory details, please" is not uncommon) and this may discourage potential reviewers.

 

Eighth: spinners tend to get more recos than BBWs. And yes, I know there's many other body types... but you see what I'm getting at, no? I don't actually know why this is, but I suspect some guys fear schoolyard-level judgement if they own up to liking bigger ladies.

 

Ninth: younger SPs tend to get more recos than older ones. I suspect the reasons may be related to the previous point.

 

Tenth: SPs seem to generally get more recos than MAs, and dancers hardly get any at all. I have no clue why this is.

 

Eleventh: this is rare, but some reco threads have been deleted - ISTR this was something technical related to deleting posts from long-retired members. I can think of one SP who I've written a reco for but you'll never find it, because her old reco thread is gone. You'll have to make do with her new, shorter one.

 

Twelfth: some ladies ask for recommendations during or after (or even before!) a meeting. Different guys may react to this in different ways; I don't actually know what net effect this has on the lady's reco thread.

 

Okay, that's a dozen things, which is enough for now. Doubtless I've forgotten one or two (I'll probably think of another as soon as I post this). In the meantime... I hope that was at least somewhat helpful to those of you trying to navigate the maze of tantalizing options we have available, and I hope that it's given you something to consider when you come across a lady who tickles your fancy but seems not to have too many recommendations compared to some others.

[Guest webothscore]

Well, here is my main thought. Rather than addressing each of those, I agree with most of them, especially since you are a strong writer and I fancy that. The articulation leaves little to no grey area or ambiguity. For myself, above and beyond any reco, is the day to day cerb interactions I have with people, and not only the fine ladies. I value just as much the gentlemen because I have learned tons from them. I need to feel that warm feeling about someone as opposed to "taking a chance". As it stands, I do look for completeness so to speak. Having said that, I can be like most and be moody from time to time. One day, I might wake up and see that women are complimenting each other and what an attractive trait that is, but the next day I might wake up and want to pound (nicely) the sass out of a lady (some ladies pull off sassy very well), and I don't mean with my arms or legs. Oh my, that was my slight naughty side writing. Anyway, at this point I am trusting my instincts more than ever but still value what others have to say each and every day.

[Gabriella Laurence 301887]

Great post and excellent summary, Phaedrus!

 

I just want to add a few points ;)

 

Sixth, and related to the above: most of us guys will write a reco once, when we first see someone and like her. We don't write another reco for the second visit, or the third. Maybe we'll write another one after several visits, but I think that's quite rare. This means that SPs who are acquiring new clients all the time will garner far more recos than those who rely on happy clients coming back for repeat visits. I suspect that some of the best SPs are almost invisible on the board, both because their clients won't write a reco for the fifty-third visit, and because they have so many repeats that they don't need to actually advertize for new clients.

 

Some gentlemen will write a reco once but a good majority never do even if they had a fantastic time- makes for a shorter reco thread.

 

On the other hand, some gentlemen will write a reco for the same ladies every time they see them- makes for a longer reco thread.

 

You also have to remember that it's a big world out there and that clients come from everywhere and not necessarily all from review boards; not everyone knows or cares about review boards and reviews/recos therefore there is no feedback from them either.

 

Also, advertising regularly doesn't really reflect on the repeat client base a lady has; I am very, very happy with mine but will still advertise on a regular basis because I never know who might contact me... It could very well be a new fantastic gentleman who may (or may not) become another amazing regular client with different interests then the other gentlemen I already see.

 

I guess the saying "variety is the spice of life" also applies to the ladies :)

[Wolf Knight 29667]

Thanks Phaedrus for your detailed post in the newbie section.

 

You've covered a lot but I just wanted to point out something from my own personal experience. I visited with a lady and after that "first" visit I was very impressed with my experience so I wrote that lady a recommendation. Because I had such a great first experience I visited with that lady again shortly after. My "second" visit was VERY different from my first and quite frankly blew my mind. The intensity and passion during that encounter was so far off the charts that it literally left my head spinning. I did not write a second recommendation even though my second visit was far better than the first.

 

Now I could have written a recommendation however I'm not sure that additional recommendations from repeat clients will have a value to a Newbie or first time visitor to that lady. Additionally, I'm afraid that I might actually be doing her a disservice without realizing it. I think that if someone is looking for a lady for a first time visit then reading other first time recommendations might be more appropriate in helping to understand what to expect as a first time client. As I'm sure that everyone can appreciate there is a relationship and ease that develops between a companion and a client over multiple visits and a chemistry that is unlikely to be found on a first visit. That's only natural. I'm not sure that it would be fair as a repeat client to post a recommendation that might lead a first time client to unrealistically expect that my encounter will be his encounter.

 

For better of worse that's just my perspective on how I approach it.

[Sweet Emily J 172062]

Great thread, Phaedrus :)

 

I wanted to address nlwoodchuck's post. I partially do agree with it, but I also wanted to add a different view.

 

I think that it would actually benefit the lady to have a mixture of recommendations from both first time clients, and repeat clients. I do agree that it's beneficial for the reader to have an idea what it would be like to visit the lady for the first time, and what generally to expect.

 

But, I also think that it would be good to have a sense of what it is like to be with the lady, after several visits too. Of course, anyone with common sense will know that everyone's experiences will vary (same as first time visits), but I think this kind of thing encourages repeat visits.

 

Some lads get into the hobby thinking of the wonderful variety of women there is, and how awesome it is going to be to sleep with as many ladies as possible. Variety is indeed the spice of life, and I agree with this mantra myself, too. However, with this view only, it may be possible to neglect to consider how great the sessions can become with someone after you get to know each other. The comfort that comes with familiarity, learning what each other really likes, and letting your guards down. This comfort can lead to a wonderful intimacy, that simply often is not felt on first time visits.

 

I love to meet new people, but I have many regular clients who I truly look forward to seeing. I have a sense of comfort in having met them before, knowing what to expect, and knowing how best to please them ;)

[Meaghan McLeod 179664]

Thank you Phaedrus - great points, and well articulated.

 

I personally do not encourage reco's of myself. When I first started here, I was not aware that I could request they edit out details. I think that if you are planning on writing a reco, please run it by the provider first before posting.

 

However, I do understand the merits of reco's, so for those gentlemen that give "tasteful" reco's, thank you. For those that seem to think that giving all the details of the encounter, minute by minute, is in my opinion, distasteful. Lets keep reco's respectful please.

[Wolf Knight 29667]

Thanks to Emily for her additional insight into my post. I value her perspective. I'm never too good to be told and I think that Emily has indeed given me some food for thought. I have pondered on her points and have come to a realization after a wonderful trip down memory lane (not that I needed Emily to twist my arm to take that trip). Most of my first encounters with companions were indeed amazing but in my case all of my "all time best" visits with companions were actually repeat visits.

As pointed out YMMV always does play part in every encounter but common sense is not a common as we would hope. I guess seeing multiple reco's from the same client could convey the notion that, "god she must be great if that guy kept going back to see her so often". So given my new enlightened perspective I'll have to update some of my original reco's with a sneek peak behind how great it can become when you build that connection with a lady and visit with her numerous times.

 

Emily, if I get labeled a shill I'm coming looking for you and not for the typical sensual reasons :)

[olderguy 5797]

Meaghanmcleod suggests asking the ladies permission before posting a reco. I have been guilty of not doing this in the past and never really thought about asking permission. I will certainly take that under advisement for the future.

[futileresistenz 28253]

Thank-you, Phaedrus, for an articulate (and nearly complete ;) ) summary on the topic of recos.

 

IMO there is limited usefulness in recos, and most certainly they are not always beneficial to the reviewed lady (esp. the ones on other unnamed sites). I do read them for entertainment value, and to become aware of providers that sound like the type I might like to meet. But I don't rely on the existence or absence of recos to determine if I will see an SP/MA. A provider could have no recos, but if her ad or website, forum interactions, or introductory banter via email spark my interest, I will discount the rest.

 

I am not a big fan of writing a reco for every encounter, but if I've had a wonderful time I will gladly provide one on the lady's request, or if I think she could benefit from one. In all cases, it's always done tastefully.

 

I hope my .05 has been helpful in some way.

[The Duke 114]

This is a very well written post. Well done

[Phaedrus 209521]

Some gentlemen will write a reco once but a good majority never do even if they had a fantastic time- makes for a shorter reco thread.

 

This is absolutely true (and a great shame, IMO) but I'm working on the assumption that it's fairly fixed for all ladies and therefore doesn't make much difference to the relative numbers of recos they get. Although now you mention it, it occurs to me that I have no good reason to assume this...

 

You also have to remember that it's a big world out there and that clients come from everywhere and not necessarily all from review boards; not everyone knows or cares about review boards and reviews/recos therefore there is no feedback from them either.

 

I hadn't thought of that. But yes, you're right. A fantastic SP who advertizes only on BP may not have very many recos here.

 

Also, advertising regularly doesn't really reflect on the repeat client base a lady has; I am very, very happy with mine but will still advertise on a regular basis because I never know who might contact me... It could very well be a new fantastic gentleman who may (or may not) become another amazing regular client with different interests then the other gentlemen I already see.

 

Yes... I did not intend to imply that the frequency of someone's advertizing has any bearing whatsoever on the quality of the end-product. But re-reading that bit... I could (and probably should) have phrased it better :)

 

I think that it would actually benefit the lady to have a mixture of recommendations from both first time clients, and repeat clients. I do agree that it's beneficial for the reader to have an idea what it would be like to visit the lady for the first time, and what generally to expect.

 

But, I also think that it would be good to have a sense of what it is like to be with the lady, after several visits too. Of course, anyone with common sense will know that everyone's experiences will vary (same as first time visits), but I think this kind of thing encourages repeat visits.

 

And how many of us have much common sense, do you think? :)

 

But yes, it'd be great to have more re-recommendations. I've done this on occasion, although probably nothing like as much as I should. One thing that's always bothered me slightly about it is the prospect of coming across as a shill, especially if she doesn't have too many recos from other people. I'm honestly not sure how to play this.

 

Meaghanmcleod suggests asking the ladies permission before posting a reco. I have been guilty of not doing this in the past and never really thought about asking permission. I will certainly take that under advisement for the future.

 

To be honest... I almost never ask :icon_redface: In most cases I'm seeing someone who already has a reco thread, and I assume that if she's already got recos she won't mind another. I do read people's websites to see if they have a policy there, in which case I also won't ask. And I'm not one for sharing a lot of intimate details myself, so this isn't something I have to worry about asking the ladies about.

 

But yeah, if someone has no reco thread that I can find... I'll often ask her if she's got one, which gives her the opportunity to say "No, and I don't want one, thanks" or (more likely) "No, but if you'd like to start one that'd be awesome"

 

IMO there is limited usefulness in recos, and most certainly they are not always beneficial to the reviewed lady (esp. the ones on other unnamed sites). I do read them for entertainment value, and to become aware of providers that sound like the type I might like to meet. But I don't rely on the existence or absence of recos to determine if I will see an SP/MA. A provider could have no recos, but if her ad or website, forum interactions, or introductory banter via email spark my interest, I will discount the rest.

 

Absolutely. But this is getting into the much broader topic of "How do I go about deciding who to see?" for which recos are only a part.

[PistolPete 61421]

Anyone, that might give additional re-recommendations to a lady he has visited.

 

I can recall when I frequent a lady, I actually got a p.m from another SP on this board, and thought I was NOT seeing her that many times....well until the SP I was writing rec's about told the other yes I was seeing her that often. Just goes to show you, that some people don't have better things to do other than worry about the others.

 

 

It should not come across as a shill if for example me and say 5 other guys have 15 pages on 1 lady, what is the harm in that? I would say that 6 of us really enjoy her company...yes? no?

 

Rec's are something that this board is about, some ladies have many pages, while some not, the system is not by any chance full proof, and never will be.

 

When I started on the board, rec's and comments about seeing ladies were in a thread, and it was difficult back than to go through pages of threads all over the place.

 

The board has changed over time, things are in neat and tidy place for those wanting to read or write, it is however lastly left to that "guy" that is going to spend his coin on who he wants to see, and perhaps not necessarily he does based on rec's alone.

 

I travelled to the US and to tell you honestly I simply didn't read reviews from a site there, I simply read websites, and contacted through email to set up dates. But when I'm here in Ottawa I will look through the rec's for our city, and those ladies that travel here, and even ask the other gent that may have seen the lady I might be interested in.

 

 

 

One thing that's always bothered me slightly about it is the prospect of coming across as a shill, especially if she doesn't have too many recos from other people. I'm honestly not sure how to play this.

[Gabriella Laurence 301887]

However, I do understand the merits of reco's, so for those gentlemen that give "tasteful" reco's, thank you. For those that seem to think that giving all the details of the encounter, minute by minute, is in my opinion, distasteful. Lets keep reco's respectful please.

 

In general, I also prefer recommendations that do not contain too many intimate details. On the other hand, I have a few highly detailed recos but they were written in such a tasteful manner by proficient eloquent members that I didn't mind it at all and actually, to my surprise, loved reading them.

 

What is tasteful for one might be distasteful for others... Some prefer less details and others love the more elaborate sexy recos (gents and ladies alike). We always have to remember... To each their own.

[roamingguy 300292]

Well I'll throw in a thought or two. Recommendations are a tool for a gentleman looking to see a lady. Yes, recommendations don't tell you who not to see. Recommendations instead recommend a lady you might like to see.

As for ladies not to see, no CERB isn't a review board. But there is a section on CERB to report bait and switch, scams and dangerous encounters. (it's at the bottom of the page on CERB) There is also Cowboy's Diary. And if you'd like reviews, there are also review boards out there. You can always use those boards in conjunction with CERB

As for repeat recommendations of a lady by a gentleman, first second, third and so on encounters do get better (the connection with the lady and you evolves) and writing a recommendation of each encounter not only lets readers know of a wonderful companion. It also lets the readers know that you like this lady so much that you have seen her again, and again. You as a gentleman have many ladies you could see, and this lady is such a wonderful companion you have seen her for repeat encounters

So if you see a lady for repeat encounters, and they were recommendation worthy encounters, write a recommendation of each encounter with that lady. Not only will gentlemen appreciate it, so will the lady

I know for me, if the lady brings up or insinuates about getting a recommendation during an encounter, that is a sure-fire guarantee she isn't getting one. It makes me feel put on the spot, not to mention if even before an encounter is over she assumes the encounter is recommendation worthy. And for me, being the cockeyed optimist that I am, I always assume before an encounter, even with a lady I haven't met before, that I will end up writing a reco. That is because I look forward to an encounter and expect a wonderful time with the lady. And more often than not I have been proved right, I have good encounters with the ladies I see...I just hope the ladies have had a good encounter too.

Personally I don't write recommendations with a detailed play by play. The details of what happens behind closed doors are private and remain so. I might infer in a light hearted way "something" happened, but if details are important, readers have to use their imagination...and guaranteed, it is more often than not, wrong ;-) Really a recommendation just needs to say the lady arrived on time, photos accurate, had a good time, and would see her again. Only mentioned because some guys aren't writers and feel awkward writing recommendations. You don't need to write a essay

I've also read some recommendations from guys that sounded less like a recommendation for the lady, than the guy bragging to his friends (locker room talk) about his prowess. These guys are 40+, not some young guy yet has the stamina of a teenager. (must have stock in Pfizer for all the Viagra he must have to takeLOL) Saw more of these reco's on other boards, and take them with a big grain of salt.

Now recommendations are but one tool to help a gentleman looking to see a lady. For me, I know a lot of guys use recommendations to help decide who to see. Me, I write them, in part as a thank you to the lady for a wonderful time, and maybe it will help her building her business. But also to give back to the CERB community helping guys in who to see. Me personally, I find reading ladies' posts on CERB helps give me an idea of who they are and if we will click. EMails, PM's and information off their websites also helps. But that is what I do and it's worked for me

A long winded rambling

RG

[Guest webothscore]

[quote name=roamingguy

I know for me' date=' if the lady brings up or insinuates about getting a recommendation during an encounter, that is a sure-fire guarantee she isn't getting one. It makes me feel put on the spot, not to mention if even before an encounter is over she assumes the encounter is recommendation worthy QUOTE].

 

True. As well, this would be a multi-faceted problem for myself. This is what many refer to as another anti-boner statement. I would probably get soft as it would click in that I'm another number while at the same time would cheapen the experience. There is a time and place for cockiness. If one really was that good, the client would feel it and wouldn't have to deal with a hint as such. While being an extrovert who can deal with any number of words, it would ultimately cheapen things in my head.

[Phaedrus 209521]

I know for me, if the lady brings up or insinuates about getting a recommendation during an encounter, that is a sure-fire guarantee she isn't getting one. It makes me feel put on the spot, not to mention if even before an encounter is over she assumes the encounter is recommendation worthy.

 

Yeah, I know what you mean. This is probably worse for people who don't generally write recos. If I get this, my approach is very simple: the answer is always, "Yes, of course I'll write you a reco!" If she deserves one (despite asking - it annoys me too) then there's no problem. If it turns out that I was lying... then there's still no problem, because I'll probably never see her again :)