Unintended Innuendo Game

[Guest A*ro**n]

Simple rule, make us laugh with some piece of unintended innuendo. It could be a quote from a news article, video clip, etc.

 

I'll start. Here's an IBM memo from 1990 regarding mouse balls:

 

MEMO

 

Re: Replacement of Mouse Balls.

 

If a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball replacement. Mouse balls are now available as FRU (Field Replacement Units). Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel.

 

Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls. Ball removal procedures differ depending upon the manufacturer of the mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop off method. Domestic balls are replaced by using the twist off method. Mouse balls are not usually static sensitive. However, excessive handling can result in sudden discharge. Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used immediately.

 

It is recommended that each person have a pair of spare balls for maintaining optimum customer satisfaction. Any customer missing his balls should contact the local personnel in charge of removing and replacing these necessary items.

 

Please keep in mind that a customer without properly working balls is an unhappy customer.

[gc1968 2033]

[Brad 49548]

How about some lines from the Star Wars movies taken out of context:

 

--"You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought!"

 

--"Luke, at that speed do you think you'll be able to pull out in time?"

 

--"In time you will learn to call me 'master'."

 

--"Pull out! You're not doing any good back there!"

 

--"Look at the size of that thing!"

 

--"Get in there, you big furry oaf! I don't care what you smell!"

 

--"Back door, huh? Good idea."