Why do other girls feel need to put down others

[livewire32 852]

I have been a provider for 16 years I have never put down a fellow provider. I don't understand why they feel a need to say others in my town who do this are junkies or have stds. How do they know are they using with them? Are they there when they get test results back? Why do that we are all providing a service that is a need for.. I think that by putting others down it ruins your business cause what person would want to be with someone who is mean and not discrete if they can talk about others. So ladies if you insult others stop it its not right we should all be on each others side work as a team it will only Increase your business

[Guest **cely***r***ne]

Maybe jealousy. It does crazy things to people sometimes. Sadly this happens a lot and everywhere. I am thankful for other providers, as you ladies are always there when I need you. Have been right from day one until the end!

 

I love you all <3

[mrgreen760 37785]

Unfortunately "bullying" seems to have become more common in our market place. Some one new who attracts attention and interest can subjected to being outed to friends and family, and all of a sudden there's a raft of no shows and cancellations and also various rumours about services etc. Increased competition locally and travelers could be driving it.

 

Not much of a sisterhood......at least so I've been told.

 

Peace

MG

[Wolf Knight 29667]

100% honesty.

 

Smack talk by an SP about another SP (whether true or not) is a sure fire way to turn me off and make me walk the other way. Talking smack is drama and drama is NOT sexy! Period!

 

FYI...Us clients don't live in a rose coloured bubble, we talk (many times privately not on public boards) a lot more than some SP's realize and know what's going on with the SP's in our respective areas.

 

Running your mouth will kill your business. Don't do it.

 

Sorry, Chuck is grumpy and playtime scheduling has been awful lately. I'm in withdrawal:(

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

It's very unfortunate that some ladies have not grown out of their teenage mentally. One would think that mean girls would change once out in the real world but apparently not.

[Cleo Catra 178382]

It's very unfortunate that some ladies have not grown out of their teenage mentally. One would think that mean girls would change once out in the real world but apparently not.

 

it's not just girls, it's men too. I can't tell you how many times I've had clients try to get a reaction from me about something they see as juicy gossip, only to get a blank stare and a change of conversation in response.

 

Unfortunately gossip will exist no matter what business you are in. I've encountered it everywhere, in every place I've worked.

 

All you can do is stay quiet, and stay out of it. If you react, or feed it, then you're a part of it.

 

I've had some pretty incredible rumours spread about me. It can make me laugh, and it can hurt. But the way I deal with it is to stay out of it. When someone comes to me and tells me a wacked-out story they've heard, I think my word is taken as truth mostly because I present myself as a non-gossipy, trustful person. If I don't gossip about other girls, but those same other girls gossip about everyone.... then who's word is to be believed?

 

If people need to put others down in order to feel better about themselves, I feel sad for them. But I do my best to not let it effect me. That's all you can do, really.

[Guest webothscore]

Hi livewire 32. We can promise you that an ugly trait such as provider bashing does not go unnoticed. Back in the day, it was more common that many clients "had" to pay roses for attention (not all, just many). These days, many of us "choose" to spend time with others for a multitude of reasons, so we are more aware of what's going on out there. Yes, some things might slip by us, might, but we we are more interested in quality than ever before. What a beautiful sept day...

[Guest]

Hopefully the gentlemen understand to judge the session/person by what they experience first hand.

 

People are going to talk, judge, and it's impossible to please everyone. It's important to just be who you are, provide the service that suites you, stay happy and enjoy the moments you have with your clients. The people that are meant to be in your life will see your true personality, no matter what people say. All that really matters is that the people who pay your bills are happy, enjoy your time and keep on coming back, everything else is just a distraction. True confidence is being happy with who you are and people will see that. This is just my general thoughts on this topic.

 

Hugs, peace and love to all.

XoXo

Peachy/Val.

[MightyPen 67414]

Yeah, this is a common attribute of people (and businesses) in general, not just women or people in the sex trade. By knocking down a competitor, they hope to improve their own prospects. But it's a lazy and dumb strategy that seldom works in the long term.

 

Sometimes it does works with the right audience though, which is one of the reasons people keep doing it. But a wiser audience will realize, "if person X is willing to do this about person Y, eventually person X will have a reason to do it about me."

 

Whether it's tearing someone else down, or just thoughtless indiscretion and gossip, this is a good reason for me to drop someone from my life -- personally, professionally, or SP-wise.

[Guest S****r]

I must say, I was shocked to discover the depths to which some SPs will sink to try to knock another one out of the competition. I thought when I entered the industry that any potential danger would probably be from unscrupulous "clients," and that the girls probably all have some semblance of camaraderie. Instead, I discovered that the men are mostly gentlemen with whom we develop a real camaraderie, and that a few of the SPs make it their business to try to knock others out of the field.

 

The longer I live, the more surprises I discover! Go figure!

 

Fortunately, there are many more ladies here who ARE kind, generous spirits who are supportive of each other than there are the others.

 

And to all of YOU, I tip my hat and say kudos to you!

[Meaghan McLeod 179664]

Yes, mean girls is alive and destroying lives. I've never been a gossiper and would never say something about someone else that does not directly affect me. Especially things I have no direct knowledge of.

 

I will however, defend myself if someone is attacking me. I don't go out looking to see if there is gossip about me, and quite frankly, unless it is really important, I would rather not know. However, if I do find out someone is trashing me, I will deal with it and get it to stop.

 

I've heard some really nasty things about other sp's that I don't believe is true. I distance myself from the person saying the nasty things, as in my opinion, they can then turn around and say the same crap about me.

[Guest N***he**Ont**y]

I am so fed up hearing SPs spreading rumours about their other Sisters. We do hear and remember. I have started a list of those who I will never see because of their past actions. In fact a couple of times I have been tempted to post an Advisory in private to the local Hobby community where I live about rumour spreaders(cant be trusted in my book) on top of the no shows and cancellations caused by Providers who change the terms of the encounter before the date is to begin. Sadly the list is growing and that's to bad for everyone

[roamingguy 300292]

Maybe some ladies feel they are in competition with other ladies. Perhaps it is this belief

that leads some SPs to trash talk other ladies...those ladies they feel they are in competition with

The reality is when I want to see a lady it is something about that certain lady that interests me about her. The only person she is competiting with is herself. A lady trash talking only does a diservice to herself...she becomes a lady I don't want to meet

Likewise a lady who steals from another lady, whether plagerizing websites, stealing advertising post titles, or not using her own photos is leads me to believe she is just not willing to invest any time or effort in herself and you are then left to wonder if she

won't invest time or effort in herself what sort of time and effort will she spend with a client...if that makes sense

A rambling

RG

[Guest]

Likewise a lady who steals from another lady, whether plagerizing websites, stealing advertising post titles, or not using her own photos is leads me to believe she is just not willing to invest any time or effort in herself and you are then left to wonder if she

won't invest time or effort in herself what sort of time and effort will she spend with a client...if that makes sense

A rambling

RG

 

I'd like to say that stealing from other peoples websites is wrong, stealing ads from other escorts is wrong. However, from time to time someone may have the same ad title as another escort and not even realize it, or have a similar ad and not even realize it. The she copied me over ad titles, having the same song, or having a similar ad is tired. Not all of us go around looking to cut and paste from other people. Some of us work hard to build our ads and websites and it's a direct insult to be called a copier or a stealer.

 

I do think that once you see or someone points out that your ad is similar to their ad, you should no longer use the ad to avoid problems. It's just easier for everyone that way.

[Chanel Reign 28097]

Firstly, we all know it is very easy to hide behind a keyboard. And easier for some to trash talk someone else to make themselves look and feel better. Also since there is rarely more than 2 or 3 folks in a personal conversation, it is easy to make ones self look good if a person feels the need to.

 

In this business there are many types of people, both SP's and Hobbiests. When you throw all of those differences into the stew, some people feel they come up short and will do and say things that can be mean and spiteful. Peer pressure, business pressure, self esteem; it's not just an SP issue. And this is not unique to this industry, but it is easier here because its a personal and intimate one.

 

Discretion is not our cultures strong suit these days. Nor is truthfulness. It is easier for some people to just go with the flow and be the norm, rather than step off the treadmill and be different.

 

Excaliber, please understand, these are not my "sisters" nor are they my co-workers. To a point we are each others competition. But only to a point. Like all businesses there are reputable ones and not so reputable. And yes some of them can be my friends. Just as some hobbiests who's type I am not, can be. I am not suggesting that hobbiests are a commodity but to a degree you are. A human one.

 

Somewhere along the line some people lose that sight of the communal fact and become self serving. Lying and making up rumours can be seen as a useful tool to some people, others are just like that normally. It is up to you, as the Consumer, to decide if it's worth it to put your money there. As an SP it is also our choice to be that "business type" or not.

 

Since we all bring ourselves to this industry, the stew will always have these types. Like it or not.

[Gabriella Laurence 301887]

In fact a couple of times I have been tempted to post an Advisory in private to the local Hobby community where I live about rumour spreaders(cant be trusted in my book)

Ouch! Although I can understand where this temptation comes from, how will you avoid being perceived any differently from the ones you would like to expose? Seems to me like it's a double edge sword.

 

on top of the no shows and cancellations caused by Providers who change the terms of the encounter before the date is to begin. Sadly the list is growing and that's to bad for everyone

You always have the option of posting about your personal experience(s) on a review board.

 

If your list of no-shows and cancellations and SPs who change the terms of the encounter is growing so much, perhaps revising your selection process could be beneficial to you in the long run?

 

 

 

Additional Comments:

 

 

I am curious...

 

100% honesty.

 

FYI...Us clients don't live in a rose coloured bubble, we talk (many times privately not on public boards) a lot more than some SP's realize and know what's going on with the SP's in our respective areas.

 

NL, I ask this with the utmost respect...

 

How is what you stated above not considered gossip? Because it is between men only? How do you know that what is being shared is the honest truth and that those "facts" are 100% accurate and haven't been altered in the slightest to make one look good (SP or client) and that it is not some manipulative way at getting back at whoever it is that is being talked about?

 

Do you trust all these people that provide you with so called information?

[gggTOC 120]

I agree that some clients can be notorious for this as well. Momma always told me to kill 'em with kindness!

[Wolf Knight 29667]

 

Additional Comments:

 

 

I am curious... (That's Great! being curious keeps the mind nimble ;))

 

 

 

NL, I ask this with the utmost respect... (Miss Laurence I'll never mind you critiquing me as I indeed hold you in very high regard)

 

How is what you stated above not considered gossip? The Oxford Dictionary defines gossip as:casual or unconstrained conversation or reports about other people, typically involving details which are not confirmed as true. So yes, what I stated when taken in the broadest sense could be considered gossip especially if the details can not be confirmed as true. Actually, even if the details could be confirmed as true it still would probably meet the definition of gossip above. So yes, indeed Miss Laurence what I have state could be considered gossip.

 

Because it is between men only? Now redundant based on the answer to the last question.

 

How do you know that what is being shared is the honest truth and that those "facts" are 100% accurate and haven't been altered in the slightest to make one look good (SP or client) and that it is not some manipulative way at getting back at whoever it is that is being talked about? "I" don't know that it is the honest truth and 100% accurate. "I" only know what's true and 100% accurate from my personal experience.

 

Do you trust all these people that provide you with so called information? Trust is something that is earned, so no I do not trust all of the people that provide me with information. In fact, most of those people I would not trust at all, in any circumstance. That said, there are indeed "some" that through specific circumstances have earned my trust within these circles and who's words and opinions I would hold with great value. Likewise, many of those same people would hold my words and opinions in great regard. Further, I'm sure that there are those that would deem my word's to hold no value simply because I have not earned their trust.

 

 

Additional note to provide context to my original post. The OP's post specifically addressed SP's speaking ill about SP's and did not address clients discussing SP's at all. My point, (FYI...Us clients don't live in a rose coloured bubble, we talk (many times privately not on public boards) a lot more than some SP's realize and know what's going on with the SP's in our respective areas.) was only made to draw attention to the fact that there is no need for SP's to speak ill of each other in an attempt to destroy the others respective business because clients already have their fill of that from other clients(as noted some we might be able to trust some not). Additionally, from first hand experience with the embattled SP's I/we as a client know that the aggressor SP's are just in fact spouting BS. As an unintended consequence the aggressor SP just lost herself a potential client because she just ran her mouth about a lady that I and others might feel is fantastic in all regards. This has actually happened to me here in St. John's and although that aggressor SP might actually provide a wonderful experience if give the chance, she'll never get one from me because of what she did.

 

Thanks for the utmost respect Miss Laurence. I hope I addressed your question in a straight forward manner with my honest responses. I'm not sure if you even were looking for responses though LOL.

 

I'm not sure if this was a hijack but to put the thread back on course, SP's don't bash each other because in the end it just might be you that suffers.

God I love being challenged by a beautiful smart woman (tingles) :)

 

Cheers.

[Guest *Ste***cque**]

I am curious where all this gossip is being spread as I don't see any of it on here.

 

I'm against gossip and when I hear it I usually rethink my opinion of the gossiper. It's an ugly trait but alot of us do it without realizing the harm we are causing. Some people say "thoughts are things" although I've heard those people are losers who also believe in angels! :) - Gossip!

 

I do think that a distinction can be made between "sharing info" and gossip. Gossip needs the intent to reveal potentially negative info for the purpose of tearing someone down to build the gossiper up. Sharing info about another is different and I don't consider that gossip, even if you're unsure about the absolute truth of it.

"I saw Jane the other day. I think she's doing lots of running and she must be taking care of herself because she looks fantastic!" That's sharing to me because even though we are not sure the info is correct, there's no negative intent.

 

This is my guideline anyway.

[roamingguy 300292]

I'd like to say that stealing from other peoples websites is wrong, stealing ads from other escorts is wrong. However, from time to time someone may have the same ad title as another escort and not even realize it, or have a similar ad and not even realize it. The she copied me over ad titles, having the same song, or having a similar ad is tired. Not all of us go around looking to cut and paste from other people. Some of us work hard to build our ads and websites and it's a direct insult to be called a copier or a stealer.

 

I do think that once you see or someone points out that your ad is similar to their ad, you should no longer use the ad to avoid problems. It's just easier for everyone that way.

 

I am talking about ladies who deliberately steal (plagerise) another lady's website or ad title etc because they won't invest any time or effort to do their own websites, ad titles etc

RG

[Gabriella Laurence 301887]

Additional note to provide context to my original post. The OP's post specifically addressed SP's speaking ill about SP's and did not address clients discussing SP's at all. My point, (FYI...Us clients don't live in a rose coloured bubble, we talk (many times privately not on public boards) a lot more than some SP's realize and know what's going on with the SP's in our respective areas.) was only made to draw attention to the fact that there is no need for SP's to speak ill of each other in an attempt to destroy the others respective business because clients already have their fill of that from other clients(as noted some we might be able to trust some not). Additionally, from first hand experience with the embattled SP's I/we as a client know that the aggressor SP's are just in fact spouting BS. As an unintended consequence the aggressor SP just lost herself a potential client because she just ran her mouth about a lady that I and others might feel is fantastic in all regards. This has actually happened to me here in St. John's and although that aggressor SP might actually provide a wonderful experience if give the chance, she'll never get one from me because of what she did.

 

Thanks for the utmost respect Miss Laurence. I hope I addressed your question in a straight forward manner with my honest responses. I'm not sure if you even were looking for responses though LOL.

 

I'm not sure if this was a hijack but to put the thread back on course, SP's don't bash each other because in the end it just might be you that suffers.

 

 

God I love being challenged by a beautiful smart woman (tingles) :)

 

Cheers.

 

Thank you for taking the time to answer my questions. Much appreciated :)

 

When I posted, I was well aware of what the subject was (SPs trash talking other SPs) and understood the reasoning behind your comment but since others, you included, had already expressed my thoughts (in a much better way that I could have), I thought I could skip commenting on the main subject directly, not rehash the same things and address a similar but relevant issue since the door had already been opened ;)

 

To me, gossip is gossip and trash talking others is trash talking others and therefore has no gender. As stated before, it happens in almost every line of work, under different circumstances; reasons and motivations will often be varied but the main end result will often be similar... In short, affect the person who is being talked about and at the same time, potentially show the true nature of the "offender".

 

Anyway, who has time to talk about others when you are spending time in wonderful company?! :)

 

...............

 

I have a feeling I might have a Virtual Hubby #2 on the way! LOL

RG, will you share? ;)

[Guest]

Maybe some ladies feel they are in competition with other ladies. Perhaps it is this belief

that leads some SPs to trash talk other ladies...those ladies they feel they are in competition with

The reality is when I want to see a lady it is something about that certain lady that interests me about her. The only person she is competiting with is herself. A lady trash talking only does a diservice to herself...she becomes a lady I don't want to meet

Likewise a lady who steals from another lady, whether plagerizing websites, stealing advertising post titles, or not using her own photos is leads me to believe she is just not willing to invest any time or effort in herself and you are then left to wonder if she

won't invest time or effort in herself what sort of time and effort will she spend with a client...if that makes sense

A rambling

RG

 

I'd like to say that stealing from other peoples websites is wrong, stealing ads from other escorts is wrong. However, from time to time someone may have the same ad title as another escort and not even realize it, or have a similar ad and not even realize it. The she copied me over ad titles, having the same song, or having a similar ad is tired. Not all of us go around looking to cut and paste from other people. Some of us work hard to build our ads and websites and it's a direct insult to be called a copier or a stealer.

 

I do think that once you see or someone points out that your ad is similar to their ad, you should no longer use the ad to avoid problems. It's just easier for everyone that way.

 

I am talking about ladies who deliberately steal (plagerise) another lady's website or ad title etc because they won't invest any time or effort to do their own websites, ad titles etc

RG

 

Well, who gets to be the jury, prosecutor and judge in this situation. I guess if the girl in question stole a website word for word or an ad word for word, it's apparent that this person intended to steal from someone else. However, ad titles, we use common phrases, how would you know that the person just didn't think, this is a good ad title and posted it? So if we accidently have the same ad title as someone else on here we are to be worried about being called a thief, fraud or that our hard work is now invalid? It was under my understanding that the mod removes plagiarized pieces? Who gets to say that any person is stealing from another person and at what point is it okey to start saying that about someone, after one time, two times, three? If the mod doesn't feel like the piece is plagiarized and does not remove the ad or ad title, then why try to slander someone/say someone doesn't put any effort into their business or themselves?

[Guest N***he**Ont**y]

Gabby I agree with you on most of your post but as it is Caveat Emptor(buyer beware) sometimes we have to advise someone on the pitfalls of an individual. The Bro Code kicks in here in this circumstance. A recent incident locally here by an SP pulling a knife on a Hobbyist made it essential that we got the word out for our safety. Rumour mills may be a necessary evil but a list like this is no different the White lists some providers use.

[Emma Alexandra 123368]

I was told recently of an sp talking shit about me...well i feel great knowing that she feels the need to do so in order to make herself look good. Anyone with a brain knows that`s why people do it. So a special thank you miss .... you made my day.:icon_razz: I've learned along time ago mot to take things to heart and the truth always comes out. Anyway my point is people need to grow up this is not high school and we are supposed to be adults.

 

Don't believe everything you hear. Real eyes, Realize, Real lies.

[MightyPen 67414]

Don't believe everything you hear. Real eyes, Realize, Real lies.

And it's even worse when former trusted mates betray you; 'cause then it's re: allies! ;)