Annessa 22743 Report post Posted November 6, 2009 I was having a conversation with a friend of mine who recently started hobbying (not a client, just a good friend) who knows I'm an SP. its funny, when we usually wrap up our convos he has a big sigh and a smile and a couple nights ago he said "yanno? hobbying to me is like the best thing since sliced bread" Not confused, I asked him "whys that?" and he went on to say how things were before for him and how hes just happier now, less focused on the little things that would drive him mad before. He didnt go out to bars frustrated because he couldnt pick up, and that made it easier to focus on work and the things that were more important. In many ways I thought to myself...yanno, becoming an SPs has taken the same effect on my life. I now dont slave away being yelled at by superiors younger than me at work, I have more quality time with my grade-school son to help him excell in his homework and not be constanly babysat durring the day by my folks, My parents are happier that I'm not asking to orrow money anymore and appear responsible (I say "appear" because they obviously dont know what i do, lol)....in general, everyone is happier sometimes it makes me sad that there has been a lot of political garbage about this industry being a threat to society and everything it stands for. so my question on today's section of Annessa's attempts at building things up positive again (lol) thread is: whats the one thing that this industry has done to improve your life, your relations with people, and just your well-being. I'm sure that if anyone were to look at a thread like this from the outside, they'd quickly see there is quite another side to all this than sex for the gents and money for the ladies 5 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NotchJohnson 214136 Report post Posted November 6, 2009 For me it's the best thing since............well peanut butter, I already have sliced bread but needed something to give me that extra taste. I'm a much more happier person since I found "cerb" and even more now with ladies to accept me in their arms ( if you know what I mean ). I'm like most here happily married but missing the sex part of my life, and doing it when and where I want and..........with who I want. I can honestly say that I'm a changed man and I see life in a different way thanks to all the sp's here. A big THANK YOU to all sp's and to the new friends here on cerb. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest S***e Report post Posted November 6, 2009 I've never thought of the adult entertainment industry as being any kind of threat against society, but I'm not a political hack who relies upon manipulating public opinion to keep my job. I've been what is now termed "the hobby" for forty plus years now and my experiences have been all over the board as it pertains to quality of service and quality of SPs. In recent years, in particular the past ten or so, quality on both fronts has risen considerably. Back in the old days, spending time with a "lady of the night" was potentially dangerous especially if you didn't know what you were walking into be it a brothel or be it with a street girl. I would have to say that nowadays women in the profession are largely part of it willingly although there still exist exceptions, e.g. human trafficking for sex trade purposes. As willing professionals, I find these ladies intelligent, well educated, refined, healthy, well groomed and highly informed business people with whom I enjoy being with on a level beyond that if simply satisfying my animalistic desire for uninhibited sex. Therefore, and for that reason, I enjoy being a hobbiest more now than I have for the first thirty years of it. When it's all said and done, it's nothing more than having a mutually pleasant time with a kind lady who is willing to accept me as I am. In addition, I enyoy the opportunity to engage in and explore levels of intimacy not available to me in my marriage. A threat to society? Not from my perspective, but I'm not a politician. I'm just happy. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
v*****m*n 220 Report post Posted November 6, 2009 I have to agree with T-storm, but not with the peanut butter, Iwould prefer honey. But that's another topic. I am happily married but miss the sex part at home. I know my wife is going through some medical isuues but I still need it. Both the SP's and MP's have helped me get through my dificult times and I am glad they are there. We all have our reasons for hobbying and if you look deep enough, we are all doing for the same reasons. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest s******ecan**** Report post Posted November 6, 2009 I have to agree with this post. I too am new to the hobby (this past year) and can relate to that feeling of being more relaxed, my business is going better than ever those little things that used to bug me aren't any more. Its amazing. I feel more confident less insecure. Plus I'm having a blast!:D Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Annessa 22743 Report post Posted November 6, 2009 I think another good thing that has come out of this for me is that I'm more selective of the men I surround myself with outside of work. As a lady who gets hit on a lot when I go out, I'm much more prone to evaluate someone who is being less than gentlemanly as not really someone I'd like to associate with. Us ladies are very lucky, we generally meet well mannered men willing to please and be pleased, follow the rules and treat us the way they would treat their girlfriends on their most romantic night...because in turn they want us to return the favour of being treated like our boyfriends in the same sense....whats even better is that theres the obvious fact that they're willing to pay for it. It definitely makes me raise my eyebrow to the girl in everyday life who sometimes feels obligated to get to some base with a guy because he paid to take her out to a fancy dinner I can take myself out to dinner, lol Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest S***e Report post Posted November 6, 2009 I can relate to you entirely as my wife is going through some medical issues as well. I love her and am supportive of her nonetheless. I do believe she is aware of my encounters and it has not become an issue so long as I am discrete and remain healthy in the process. I don't think we are alone really. I have to agree with T-storm, but not with the peanut butter, Iwould prefer honey. But that's another topic. I am happily married but miss the sex part at home. I know my wife is going through some medical isuues but I still need it. Both the SP's and MP's have helped me get through my dificult times and I am glad they are there. We all have our reasons for hobbying and if you look deep enough, we are all doing for the same reasons. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest S***e Report post Posted November 6, 2009 Yes and the company is probably better too!!! LOL I can take myself out to dinner, lol Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
geo007 203 Report post Posted November 6, 2009 I like this thread as it makes us think about all this. I agree with the good comments above. For me, seeing SPs has probably saved my marriage to date. I couldn't take the pressure anymore but am now able to put things into perspective better. And am enjoying life and looking forward to beautiful experiences in the coming yeARS. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Annessa 22743 Report post Posted November 6, 2009 Yes and the company is probably better too!!! LOL damn straight, hehe :-) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
APower20 400 Report post Posted November 6, 2009 I've had an increase in confidence, a greater feeling of relaxation, and I've found it easier to have conversations with people (especially women). Feeling a lot less stressed out and I'm also a lot happier since I started hobbying back in July. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NotchJohnson 214136 Report post Posted November 6, 2009 I've had an increase in confidence, a greater feeling of relaxation, and I've found it easier to have conversations with people (especially women). Feeling a lot less stressed out and I'm also a lot happier since I started hobbying back in July. I started hobbying in January this year but had already started to look about 1 year ago. Ever since I don't look back and I have a more positive attitude on life so that when people ask me how I am, I simply say "perfect in every way". And that is how I am Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
YoungStud 468 Report post Posted November 6, 2009 I've been doing this for more than 20 years. Mostly because I like a lot variety in sexual partners. How has it changed my life? As long as I could pay for it, it's given me more sexual variety. Lol. (The so-called "fantasy" aspects have always seemed kind of B.S. to me, but to each his or her own.) I've meet some very interesting people in the course of being part of "this floating world", as the Japanese sometimes call it. But I've also met a lot of jerks and some very sad, screwed-up people.. Kind of like "real life". Lol. But sometimes, I have to agree, the escort world can be more intense, on occasion, than our "normal" experience tends to be. Life altering? No, not in any big away. But quite enjoyable. If it's been life-altering for you, go for it. Lol. But in general, for me, way too superficial (but lots of fun) to affect me much on any deeper level. Though there are one or two people I wouldn't have met otherwise that have become very important in my life. And some good casual buddies (both M & F) that have been fun to spend time with in various ways. And I'm grateful for that. Not to mention all the sexual variety over the years I wouldn't have had if I hadn't been willing to pay for it. Lol. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lou 9208 Report post Posted November 6, 2009 !. A lot more free time for school and my loved ones 2. Since I started escorting, I kept my day job but only the clients that I love so, each time I work, i have fun!!! 3. I met people that I would not have met otherwise and some that I found particulary extraordinary and are now more than precious to me. 4. Don't need student loans anymore, I only take the grants:) 5. I am now more confident than ever with myself and my body. I wish I could tell all these girls who hate themself that a lot of men worship chubby women and women of all kind. 6. I got to know men differently and I appreciate it. 7. Travelling is also a big plus. 8. By managing my biz, I developped new skills 9. Being an escort, you have to be intimate with people that you would not have otherwise. Superficial parts of yourelf go into the drain. For exemple, I would not have been intimate with men that are 30 years older than myself before. 10. I have a good excuse to buy more shoes and nice lingerie:) 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Winnipegcub 21293 Report post Posted November 7, 2009 whats the one thing that this industry has done to improve your life, your relations with people, and just your well-being. Wow that makes you think. I'm only a couple months new to this and I am not sure I would define myself as a true hobbiest since only being with one SP. But thats likely where most guys started. Since it is so new and I am not truly sure what the motivation was in the first place it is hard for me to know if or how it has changed my life. I do know that for someone who travels a great deal and has spent many lonely nights on the road it makes my stops in Ottawa very different and in fact I look forward to them. Other than that I can't honestly say 'it's changed my life'. However, it's early for me and as I become more comfortable I am certainly open to allow my meetings to influence me. Not sure of the final result but if nothing else I know I'm going to love the process. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
d*mm*y 887 Report post Posted November 7, 2009 This past August I hit my 28th year in the hobby! And I think most people who know me agree it is not that hard to be me :). Is it because of the Hobby? Definitely because of the sex industry, I have acquired many skills. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Annessa 22743 Report post Posted November 7, 2009 I've meet some very interesting people in the course of being part of "this floating world", as the Japanese sometimes call it. But I've also met a lot of jerks and some very sad, screwed-up people.. Kind of like "real life". Lol. But sometimes, I have to agree, the escort world can be more intense, on occasion, than our "normal" experience tends to be. . Just to keep things on track lets keep this about the *positive* experiences hobbying or becoming an SP or MA has brought about to people's lives. sound good? :-) now back to what everyone was sayin.... by the way some great responses in here everyone, makes me proud to be an SP bringing happiness to all you gents and proud for all the SPs doing great things for their lives, school and well beings :-) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Report post Posted November 7, 2009 Annessa, What a good and positive post. I agree with you. We do meet a lot of great guys, Don't we. We get guys with great manners. Who treat us like gold. It definitely makes us girls more selective. I mean if there are men out there willing to pay for a good time and on top of that bring us gifts. Hey, those boys better do something other than try to get me drunk. It has been great for me because I get to do things I couldn't do before. I get to meet all kinds of interesting people. If I haven't said this before, I get treated like a princess. Plus I LOVE SEX. I would rather do it this way then to pick guys up at the bar, to unpredictable. What a great life we live. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
buggernot 588 Report post Posted November 7, 2009 My outlook on sexuality, relationships and how I perceive women have all changed for the better. I am far more comfortable and confident being alone in the company of an unfamiliar female than I was before I started. Anxiety was a huge problem for me, now it is minor. No shrink could have ever helped me through what many of you girls have given to me. And I believe through this and other self-inflection over the last 2 years, I've been fortunate enough to gain at least a bit of wisdom, although it's always a never ending process... As much as I crave the sexual intimacy of each encounter, the greatest part can be the mental intimacy. Granted, it only happens when there's a real connection - small or large - but when it does, it's like magic. When you meet someone that you're genuinely interested in, enjoy conversing with, and where sexual tension is not a factor because it's literally the reason the two of you are there at that moment, there can be a freedom to be incredibly honest. Seems like an odd result where there is supposed to be an underlying veil of secrecy between the 2 parties, but removing the taboo of talking about or wanting sex has been quite liberating in many of the encounters that I've had. For someone that extolls the virtue of honesty like myself, it has produced some intense and memorable moments. I really do need to thank all the girls for that. On top of everything else, it can be oh so much fun...good times, great girls and awesome sex. What the hell can be better than that? So fuck sliced bread! As if I'm going to pass up cunnilingus for a sandwich... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
m**k 153 Report post Posted November 7, 2009 This hobby makes me want to be a better man. I've always been a giver/altruistic in that I gain satisfaction from pleasing as much as receiving, but I guess that I haven't always delivered. Selfishness or perhaps complacency creeps in and you go through the motions of daily life without consideration, including the act of loving your partner. This hobby has allowed me to appreciate women in a way that perhaps I would have never been able to realize before. Take all the negative experiences out of the equation (the missed appointments, the bait and switch, etc...) and focusing on the positive human interactions, I have become a more compassionate and skilled lover because somehow it matters more to me now. The wonderful women that I've met in the last 7-8 months have given me a lifetime of lessons that will carry into my future relationships...and for that, I am truly grateful. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Annessa 22743 Report post Posted November 7, 2009 (edited) Annessa, What a good and positive post. I agree with you. We do meet a lot of great guys, Don't we. We get guys with great manners. Who treat us like gold. It definitely makes us girls more selective. I mean if there are men out there willing to pay for a good time and on top of that bring us gifts. Hey, those boys better do something other than try to get me drunk. It has been great for me because I get to do things I couldn't do before. I get to meet all kinds of interesting people. If I haven't said this before, I get treated like a princess. Plus I LOVE SEX. I would rather do it this way then to pick guys up at the bar, to unpredictable. What a great life we live. amen amen AMEN! and a giggle towards the guys who think just because they get us drunk at the bar its guaranteed to get them a score, haha. myself it takes a LOT to get me drunk so unless the guy has more than what the average dude would bring out trying to get lightweights in the sac, hes usually hammered before I am...and to hammered to notice I went out for a smoke...aka...flagged a cab home ;-) When you meet someone that you're genuinely interested in, enjoy conversing with, and where sexual tension is not a factor because it's literally the reason the two of you are there at that moment, there can be a freedom to be incredibly honest. Seems like an odd result where there is supposed to be an underlying veil of secrecy between the 2 parties, but removing the taboo of talking about or wanting sex has been quite liberating in many of the encounters that I've had. For someone that extolls the virtue of honesty like myself, it has produced some intense and memorable moments. I really do need to thank all the girls for that. On top of everything else, it can be oh so much fun...good times, great girls and awesome sex. What the hell can be better than that? So fuck sliced bread! As if I'm going to pass up cunnilingus for a sandwich... That is the other thing that I appreciate so much about this industry, the honesty. clients can be themselves around me because they know that no matter what, there will be sexual satisfaction. not to keep going back to the average joe in the bar scene, but as a good example, so many men in everyday life think they need to be over the top, ooooooze sex appeal, pretend they work for NASA or the CIA or something exciting to gain a lady's interest sexually, or that they pull in 6 figures a year (sometimes it'd be funny if we could give them an inkling as to how much our hourly "salary" is, lol)...be a good dancer....etc...the list goes on. Hobbying allows a client to be THEMSELVES from the get-go, and that to me is most important in ANY sexual encounter! we dont want a man trying to exaggerate himself or feed us lines (even in the non-industry-world) we just want someone who can relax and be themselves, thats sexy! and I think its a big part of why us SPs appreciate our clients far more than the general idiots trying to pull the wool over our eyes everyday. (side note: sorry for the rant, but I'm going through exactly this right now with a boy-toy...started out as a chill and calm guy but now has started to try and win over friends of mine, brag about his 5-year plan and try to be as goofy and over the top as me (yes, I'm a goofball, the secrets out) but only to pals looking to me saying..."man, this guy is trying WAY too hard to impress you! and hes annoying the sh*t outta us!". I told him that I liked him more when he wasn't trying so hard. he said "I know"......why try to fit in when you know that the only people who are worth accepting you are the ones that you are your complete self around?? argh! end rant!....sorry about that personal tidbit!) I've said it many times, we're in a business thats not as appreciated as, but DEFINITELY more honest than some lawyers (note: no offense to any lawyers viewing the thread, lol...just a figure of speech!!) :-) Edited November 7, 2009 by Annessa an amazing amount of typos :-) 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest S***e Report post Posted November 7, 2009 I would to mention that one aspect I really enjoy is bestowing kindness (and receiving it back.) I find that in this age of a self-absorbed general population, the ladies I have met in recent years are genuinely appreciative of kindness in deed and thought. I do try to expand these acts of kindess into my daily life. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Emma Alexandra 123368 Report post Posted November 7, 2009 I have met some people i wouldn't normally have met and now have some friendships that will last a very long time. I love to make people smile and laugh and just feel good in general...i was told not to long ago that i can bring out the best in people and to me that's very important. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
whatsup 11893 Report post Posted November 7, 2009 Being in the hobby has enriched my life in many ways and it is wonderful to know that we enrich the lives of the great providers. My hats, (socks, clothes and underwear) off :-D :lol: to you fine ladies. Thanks Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
slurp 7020 Report post Posted November 7, 2009 Let's see ..... positive benefits...... Not sure if this is really positive but I feel strongly I would be divorced if I did not hobby. Hell, I might be anyway if she finds out for sure LOL Another thing, I don't have to worry about where to spend all that disposable income. I have met many incredible women (and many very edible!). Variety is the spice of life and I sure have had that. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites