"White Gentlemen Only"

[belgbeer 470]

I'm new to Winnipeg. I saw an ad elsewhere with the title above. Is it unusual for SP's here to have racial preferences? I mean, I guess it's their right and all. But it makes me wonder if I should somehow find out if they do have a preference, just to avoid an uncomfortable situation.

 

Is this a common issue? If so, how does one handle it?

[cinelli 22184]

it's their right

 

Yes it is, respect it. Usually they will clearly state it in any ads.

 

how does one handle it?

 

What is there to "handle"? It's her choice. End of discussion.

[MightyPen 67414]

But it makes me wonder if I should somehow find out if they do have a preference, just to avoid an uncomfortable situation.

 

Is this a common issue? If so, how does one handle it?

 

If you're concerned about it, and you're communicating by e-mail or message, then I think you could just include that information casually in your initial introduction. "Hi! My name's X and I'm a Y-year old Z male", where Z is your race. That's all.

 

Now she knows, and you're comfortable because she knows, and you can proceed without any worries.

[zorobaby 4121]

Yes it is, respect it. Usually they will clearly state it in any ads.

 

 

 

What is there to "handle"? It's her choice. End of discussion.

Seems a bit harsh no? All he did was ask a simple question and you seem to have just dismissed it as common sense.

 

To actually contribute to the thread productively, just do as was mentioned. If you think there might be a preference in race, just casually add it into your introduction and proceed from there. As far as I have seen, not many sps/ma's do this, but there is always the odd one that might.

 

Happy hunting

[MightyPen 67414]

I think cinelli just mistook belgbeer's "how do I handle it?" to mean "how should I go about challenging her view?". But I think belgbeer's just looking for a way to assure himself in advance it won't be an issue when he arrives.

 

So yeah, little harsh, but I can sort of see the mistake that led to it.

[WriteOn 3250]

I personally didn't think it was harsh, just responding to the OP in a matter of fact manner.

 

Also I think MightyPen gave the best advice, sad that you have to do that but if you're worried that there might be an issue better safe than sorry.

[throckmortonpruddygo 2025]

I agree, it is their choice. What nobody seems to want to say, is that it is also their problem.

[anonman 163]

I google'd the ad in question and it looks like your typical "here's some photos of a girl (or girls) I found somewhere on the internet let me post three of them about fifty times for some reason and include a vague, barely intelligible message" phony escort ad that you'll find 9 times out of 10 on that particular site. I guess this time they decided to slap a classy bit of racism on top of it to make it extra sleazy.

[voodoo999 332]

So all this discussion about something that is so simple. if the ad says "white men only", then don't call the number on the ad if you aren't white. how is that complicated?

[mrgreen760 37785]

Hmmmm...I was in the running until the "Gentlemen" part :)))

 

Peace

MG

[cinelli 22184]

I think cinelli just mistook belgbeer's "how do I handle it?" to mean "how should I go about challenging her view?"

 

That's how I interpreted it:"How do I handle her rules?"

 

I was immediately reminded of a very similar question on the other board. The thread turned pretty ugly. I wondered if this one was going the same route.

 

To me it seems common sense, but I guess some people like to overthink things. And like I said, most who have these restrictions state them clearly in their ads. Although one SP I know likes to make clients park in a spot she can see from her apartment, and then turns off her phone if she doesn't like their looks.

[zorobaby 4121]

So all this discussion about something that is so simple. if the ad says "white men only", then don't call the number on the ad if you aren't white. how is that complicated?

I understand that it's the providers right to accept or turn clients by her own free will, and she has the right to see who she wants, under what ever circumstances. But, you have to realize that some people will take offense to blatant racism. Yes it is their problem, but no need to be so blunt and harsh about it. Just my opinion though, but racism is so 20 years ago.

[WriteOn 3250]

but racism is so 20 years ago.

 

 

Sadly that is not true, things are slowly changing but racism is still very much alive.

[zorobaby 4121]

Sadly that is not true, things are slowly changing but racism is still very much alive.

I haven't seen blatant racism in years, I'm finding that racial based jokes are coming back with a bang, but nothing crazy blatant.

[Guest ***rgi*****9]

Racism is very much alive and well throughout society and everywhere. Doesn't matter where you go... I've been called every name in the book at one time or another. In one area I'm white, in another area I'm a brown, in another I'm black, in another I'm... well you get the idea.

[WriteOn 3250]

I haven't seen blatant racism in years, I'm finding that racial based jokes are coming back with a bang, but nothing crazy blatant.

 

 

You must lead a sheltered life. Racism is alive and kicking.

[cat 262460]

I think the OP is asking a valid question if he is concerned about putting himself in an awkward situation upon arriving at a playdate. There can be a number of non racist reasons why a provider prefers to exclude a certain group. In my younger years I was married to a brown man and I didn't see East or West Indians because he was very well networked in those communities. I didn't want to open the door to a surprise visit from someone my husband may cross paths with.

 

Ladies have a life outside of work and if they feel there is a risk of either being found out or causing someone they love embarrassment, they may opt out because of personal ties to a community.

 

She may have had a bad sexual experience and her comfort level isn't there due to memories it may stir up while being intimate with someone. No one wants to have a melt down in front of a client for something unrelated to him or have him feel her discomfort when he is there with hard earned dollars for a playdate that isn't going to end well. Emotions are hard to control at times.

 

In an industry that is constantly trying to overcome unfair assumptions, I find it's more prudent to simply not assume. If you have any concerns about your race, run it by your provider! She will tell you if she has an issue...

 

cat

[Cute0aza0Button 21399]

Gosh I hope this isn't common. I understand that it's her choice and that's all fine and well but I find it... So

.. It's just not something I expect to see.

 

I guess it's good that she stated it up front. I'd hate for someone to get crappy service for such a stupid reason.

[cat 262460]

It's easy to say "crappy reason" but the truth is we don't know why she has specified the race of her guests. I had a girl work for me who was gang raped by a specific race and she simply couldn't service guests of that race because she couldn't guarantee that she'd be able to go thru with the appointment. That was before PTSD was better understood but even passing someone on the street who was the same build or dressed the same as her assaulters would send her into a tail spin for days.

 

The fact is this provider clarified what she feels comfortable with is all we really need to know. The OP wanted to know if he should disclose his race before meeting a provider and the answer is "yes" if he wants to alleviate any concerns he may have. The truth of the matter is that most providers don't have a problem with race because we know all humans bleed red...

 

cat

[Horndog66 14104]

This issue resurfaces from time to time on most boards of this type. Eventually, everyone reaches the consensus that the ladies have the right to refuse to see anyone, whether their reasons are truly racist or due to some other unrelated factors. Those ladies who explicitly state in their ads that they won't see clients of certain ethnicities usually suffer some degree of verbal abuse too.

 

However, it is surely better for ladies to openly state their ethnic restrictions rather than withhold them. I'm Caucasian and have never been refused service by an SP. However, I'm sure that if I were a member of a visible minority, I would be humiliated and hurt if I arrived at an SP's place only to be told, "Sorry, I don't see your kind of people". I'm also sure I would rather know before even trying to book a lady. I've seen many minority pooners state the same opinion on other boards.

 

About 15 years ago, I booked a Toronto incall lady, who was Caucasian. When we were done, she confessed that whenever new clients arrived at her apartment door, she tiptoed to the door and looked through the peephole. If the clients weren't Caucasian, she didn't open the door and waited until the guys left. Nice, eh?

[Jabba 18389]

I understand that it's the providers right to accept or turn clients by her own free will, and she has the right to see who she wants, under what ever circumstances. But, you have to realize that some people will take offense to blatant racism. Yes it is their problem, but no need to be so blunt and harsh about it. Just my opinion though, but racism is so 20 years ago.

 

I'm gonna play the devil's advocate, but is racism actually happening here?

 

I too have my ethnic/cultural preferences in who I want to pay to see. Would one call that discrimination or racism or just selective purchasing?

 

So, I assume the SP has the same right of choice as do I. For an SP, that same right of choice is just labelled as racism? Is my understanding correct?

[Guest holydragon]

I have to lol when I see threads like this... (Black male here)

IMHO there are numerous things that can be going on here and no matter what the reason it's offensive.

 

I ran into a few providers that would not see a black provider. One actually took some time to explain her stereotypical reasoning and it was the funniest thing I ever heard of. First, she had a child fathered by a black man so she clearly wasn't racist. The issue; however, is that she was concerned about the (stereotypical) size of a black cock and wants her "yaya to stay tight" for her customers. I wish I were kidding. She did make an exception to see me and she was right.. My review was entitled.. "Square Peg round hole..." (lol)

 

Ahhh.. another funny thing I love to see.. when a black providers has no black men in her ad.. Really? lol

 

Now, I'm coming up to Ottawa and am trying to set up my week. After communicating to providers that I'm black I've gotten the following responses..

 

"and..?"

"sorry I'm not comfortable bb..."

"np"

"there may be a problem is you're big"

no response

 

Admittedly, most providers have been extremely receptive.

 

For some reason, regardless of whether it's "Their choice.." I parallel this to White Only restaurants back in the 1950's. Sure there are some that boycott these types of establishments but many that are "In the club" condone this discriminatory behavior because they are in the club.

 

If you don't like big dicks (again it's stereotypical) because you get torn to shreds put that in your ad. Stop propagating these discriminatory practices.

 

Oh.. and once again I'll be up there tomorrow for a whole week. So if there are any providers that don't mind a big dick (unfortunately the stereotype is true in my case) and you're sexy send me a PM.

 

HD

 

Hot sexy open providers seeing old men, retarded men, blind men, smelly men, fat men, etc..

 

Please note black men or stallions under 35..

[roamingguy 300292]

First we don't know why the lady will see "White Gentlemen Only"

Maybe racism. Or maybe as has been mentioned, she may run the risk of being discovered because her circle of acquaintances is a small non white community (hope worded right) or maybe as also mentioned, maybe something traumatic (PTSD) happened to her by someone of a certain non white ethnicity.

Ladies in their advertising generally speaking post their photos, age, weight, body type etc etc etc. A gentleman looking for companionship but doesn't want to see a lady of a certain ethnicity can just do so from viewing ads without publicly stating he doesn't want to see someone of a certain ethnicity. He doesn't have to post "looking for white women only" But a lady not wanting to see someone of a certain ethnicity has only a couple ways to do it. First, post it in her ad, or second, in her contact form have the potential client state his ethnicity.

And another spin on this. Would a gentleman who is non white really want to see a lady who wants to see white gentleman only. Because that could mean she is going to end up getting pressured to have sex with a man she doesn't want to have sex with. And that is the thin edge of the wedge to sexual assault. Irrespective of what we think of her advertising white gentlemen only, it is her body. And she, she alone gets to decide who she has sex with

My advice is to move on, and be with a companion who wants to be with you. It sucks she restricts herself to white gentlemen only, but you also don't know why she has that restriction

RG

[WriteOn 3250]

. There can be a number of non racist reasons why a provider prefers to exclude a certain group. In my younger years I was married to a brown man and I didn't see East or West Indians because he was very well networked in those communities.

 

 

I agree there can be many non racist reasons why a provider excludes certain groups but "White Only" doesn't leave a lot for interpretation. Of course that is just my opinion.

[belgbeer 470]

This issue resurfaces from time to time on most boards of this type. Eventually, everyone reaches the consensus that the ladies have the right to refuse to see anyone, whether their reasons are truly racist or due to some other unrelated factors. Those ladies who explicitly state in their ads that they won't see clients of certain ethnicities usually suffer some degree of verbal abuse too.

 

However, it is surely better for ladies to openly state their ethnic restrictions rather than withhold them. I'm Caucasian and have never been refused service by an SP. However, I'm sure that if I were a member of a visible minority, I would be humiliated and hurt if I arrived at an SP's place only to be told, "Sorry, I don't see your kind of people". I'm also sure I would rather know before even trying to book a lady. I've seen many minority pooners state the same opinion on other boards.

 

About 15 years ago, I booked a Toronto incall lady, who was Caucasian. When we were done, she confessed that whenever new clients arrived at her apartment door, she tiptoed to the door and looked through the peephole. If the clients weren't Caucasian, she didn't open the door and waited until the guys left. Nice, eh?

 

Thank you for the well-reasoned response.