Necessary Illusions?

[Guest realnicehat]

So I've sort of had this question rattling around in my head for a while trying to decide whether it was worth bringing up. Not because I think it isn't interesting but because I'm unsure that anyone will be willing to discuss it.

 

First, I must admit that this is not an entirely original idea. I began thinking about it months ago when Nathalie Lefebvre started the thread below regarding recommendations and how some men prefer to ignore them as it is a reminder that the provider spends time with others.

 

http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=141297

 

Yesterday, I started thinking about things again when Cleo posted her new blog post entitled "The First of the Day".

 

http://thetattooedcat.blogspot.ca/?zx=29a75ab09217a7f4

 

This morning, Someguy started a thread to discuss why we choose to repeat with certain ladies.

 

http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=153176

 

One of the possible reasons listed was being "treated like a king" and I realized that this phrase, while often used in recos and ads, is a bit puzzling to me. I have had many incredible encounters, repeated many times with a few particular providers, had some mind blowing uninhibited sex but I have never once thought to describe it as being treated like a king.

 

I come at this with the perspective of a single man simply seeking comfort and sexual release in the arms/bed of a woman who's company I truly enjoy. For me it is as simple as that.

 

What I'm curious about is some of the other members points of view. How far, if at all, does the fantasy need to extend for you? Do you require the illusion of exclusivity to help you escape?

 

I don't really feel like there is a right or wrong to this so I'm hoping people are willing to share as well as read and consider without judgement what others have to say.

 

Thanks for reading :)

[CristyCurves 169032]

It's all an illusion in a sense because when you are with a provider you see him/her at their best and in the best mood and we see you at your best. We are all prepared and ready to delight and be delighted;). Providers give their clients a treatment that they hope will surpass that's clients expectations. With advertising and phrases, such as "Treat you like a king" perhaps shouldn't be taken literally, as they are meant to give you a sense that you will be pampered and treated better than you'd expect, or are used to being treated. When I advertise I try and give a genuine sense of my personality, mood, abilities and desires. How they are read and interpreted will be different for each person.

[mrgreen760 37785]

I think of it as necessary delusions :)

 

Peace

MG

[Athos 108589]

to repeat with a lady I need to like them as a person. In other words, I need to be able to say to myself that if I met this individual in another context, I could/would be friends with them. There needs to be a degree of genuine affection, along with sexual attraction.

 

Porthos

[renegade 11027]

I get to enjoy the best part of the male / female relationship without any of the 'politics' - so yes that must make it both an illusion and delusional !! lol-

on a serious note I understand that each of us who enjoy this hobby have our own reasons for and expectations of what our encounters should be like.

[Guest webothscore]

I don't have illusions. A spade is a spade. Having said that, fulfilling fantasies can be lots of fun.

[LeeRichards 177238]

Nope ... not an illusion for me. A necessary, ongoing, everyday and very very happy part of my complicated life :)

 

Clothes on or clothes off it is all about simple fun and awesome times for me. I do my best to let the ladies chillax and be themselves. Mutual fun rocks !!!!

 

The first time a lady asks me to take the garbage out or I ask her what's for supper then promptly after some spankings I will suspect I am being dilusional and file for a Cerb divorce ;)

[Phaedrus 209521]

I try not to deal in illusions, necessary or otherwise, more than I have to.

 

To address one of the big ones: I neither know nor care how many other clients the person I'm with has seen today, or this week, or this month, or ever; the same goes for any other partners she may have had, or what she may have done with them. Not only is it none of my damn business; I can't see how knowing would do me any good, or even how I should interpret any answer I might get. I certainly don't avoid reading recommendations - indeed, I keep tabs on the reco threads for both ladies I've met in the past and those who I'm considering meeting in the future.

 

I don't need to pretend that there's no financial exchange (I see no reason to dwell on it, but there's no need to sweep it under the carpet). I don't need the illusion that I'd be able to get naked with people who are way out of my league if there wasn't an envelope involved somewhere.

 

What I really care about is that whoever I'm with also enjoys the time spent with me. This doesn't necessarily involve orgasms every thirty seconds, or that she think I'm the best thing since sliced bread, or that she'd do this for free if I asked. I don't have to be "treated like a king" (I've never seen an incall with a throne, and neither have I ever met a SP who employed minions to wait on me hand and foot) but if I get the feeling she's just going through the motions, or she'd rather be elsewhere, it's a huge buzzkill for me. And I'll make no bones about it: I've had encounters which have not been much fun because I got the overwhelming feeling that the lady I was with would just rather have been somewhere else. And this kind of thing is hard to simulate: you can fake smiles and orgasms and whatever else, but if you just don't want to be there then the mask will slip at some stage.

 

So, to get back on-topic: I don't give a damn about some of the more common illusions that folks seem to worry about. But I do care - and care a lot - that the whole experience be mutually pleasurable.

 

Does that make sense?

[piano8950 32577]

I once saw someone for the sole purpose that in her ad she wrote something along the lines of "in 10 minutes of meeting me, you'll know that I love what I do".

 

That's it. I've seen so many ads about what a lady is willing to do for me, but it gave me the best satisfaction to know that here is one who says that this is something she enjoys.

 

And yeah, from where I stood she was amazing, and I did see her again a few times after that.