Grass_Hopper 18263 Report post Posted November 16, 2009 I had weird situations that I do not want to experience again, with people I did'nt knew... Drunk, punk, or junk, everything's out there for us... We need to protect ourselves, including refferences... Please, there's no such insult of being hung up after asking for a CERB handle... I need to know who you are, so I can feel safe and confident to offer you the best services... 5 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cato 160314 Report post Posted November 16, 2009 Absolutely right, Sabrina. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
geo007 203 Report post Posted November 16, 2009 Can't agree more. You SPs are exposed to all sorts of people and it's prudent to try to check out the clients as much as possible. Can never be too careful.Imagine , it could be me.......:) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
antlerman 17064 Report post Posted November 16, 2009 any one who does not give referances is obviously hidding something....especially if they hang up quickly. I think I should learn some sign language...that way my hands can speak for themselves........and what a referance they would be....... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BownChickaBown 4829 Report post Posted November 17, 2009 Like any enterprise, people have the right to refuse to do business with anyone they don't want to. Due diligence and condoms are the new norm gents. :pimp: Welcome to the New Millennium! :D 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jazzitup 5652 Report post Posted November 18, 2009 Obviously they were rude and inconsiderate. Better to find that out sooner than later. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mizz Martinez 135 Report post Posted January 24, 2010 I couldn't agree more, especially when you are away from your home city, references should always be provided! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
stevecurious 42059 Report post Posted January 26, 2010 I need to know who you are, so I can feel safe and confident to offer you the best services... To me this goes without saying. References are and should be the norm! We (the guys) do our homework sort of speak. We research a ladies reviews, access her website, and gather as much information as we can about someone we wish to see. Why would the opposite be any different? Safety for all is paramount be it physical (violence, etc.) or sexual (use of condoms). Seeing a lady for the first time is just like a job interview be prepared with references in hand! You might be surprised if when you first contact her simply state in your email that "references are available upon request." This lets her know you are serious and not wasting time. It also may take some of the akwardness out of her having to ask for them. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TracieGold 282 Report post Posted January 26, 2010 Safety comes first. Undoubtedly an individual may provide his name and phone number and still arrive "high", angry or drunk (among other...) It comes with the turf. My humble opinion is that References are a must when gentlemen are unknown to us and mostly inactive in CERB forums. The point I find problematic is "new members". I wish they arrived with a similar document to a birth certificate or SIN number....we can not ask them for a Criminal Police Check ...and I find they do not like to provide a phone number from work....of course, we can also be the "dangerous ones" and get them in trouble....right? I can understand their concerns...especially after reading the latest post of our dear Emma, a gentleman may doubt who are they dealing with..... If we only would accept the Long Time Members, it would not be new comers because they will not be accepted by anyone by the lack of a reference...right? Same with SP's/MP's, men want to be sure who they are going with and are waiting for a "recommendation" (in my case I have a policy of NR), if nobody takes the chance to "try" our company, only the Long Time Members will be SP's and the rest will be left to wait.... What to do then with New Members, Gentlemen and SP's? I really look forward your answers, this subject Sabrina brought up is important and that is why I nominated it...Thanks Grass Hopper!! hugs! Tracie:confused: I had weird situations that I do not want to experience again, with people I did'nt knew... Drunk, punk, or junk, everything's out there for us... We need to protect ourselves, including refferences... Please, there's no such insult of being hung up after asking for a CERB handle... I need to know who you are, so I can feel safe and confident to offer you the best services... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
stevecurious 42059 Report post Posted January 26, 2010 Up until very recently I would not have given any thought to a lady I am going to see from Cerb being "the dangerous one." This is not a physical danger more of a marital danger. I had seen a SP for the first time and after aprx. one month she sent me a text message out of the blue telling me she was going to be close by and wanted to arrange a time with me! I posted a thread entitled "Discretion...yeah right" about it. To this point I am now skeptical about providing a work number. I have never and will never have a problem calling a lady, I usually prefer email first...to break the ice sort of speak. But it goes to show that it is not only the guys who are not reputable. Sadly a vast majority of the ladies and probably the guys on Cerb are reputable but as the saying goes "it only takes one apple to spoil the entire bunch!" Individuals doing their own due dilegence, coupled with recomendations and references are probably the only sure way to screen someone, and don't forget to listen to your gut. More times than not you know the answer even if you aren't aware that you know the answer! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
silverado17 12689 Report post Posted January 26, 2010 I had weird situations that I do not want to experience again, with people I did'nt knew... Drunk, punk, or junk, everything's out there for us... We need to protect ourselves, including refferences... Please, there's no such insult of being hung up after asking for a CERB handle... I need to know who you are, so I can feel safe and confident to offer you the best services... i agree you have to protect yourself there are alot of weirdo's out there and being all by yourself nobody can help you very good post Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dexterS3 134 Report post Posted January 26, 2010 Wow some people its not like your asking for there first born, i mean even asking real name is fair for your safety. Some people just don't get it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
explorer69 3513 Report post Posted January 26, 2010 I don't agree. I won't provide my cerb/terb handle. Nor will I provide my real name. Anonymity is essential, espcially when SOME SPs/MPAs(and I mean just a very few ) are indiscreet. I have never had a problem with not providing a real name or refernces, as the majority SPs/MPAs don't ask for them. I will provide whatever other info an SPA?MPA mey require (phone# as i have a hobby phone)) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
stevecurious 42059 Report post Posted January 26, 2010 I don't agree. I won't provide my cerb/terb handle. Nor will I provide my real name. Anonymity is essential, espcially when SOME SPs/MPAs(and I mean just a very few ) are indiscreet.I have never had a problem with not providing a real name or refernces, as the majority SPs/MPAs don't ask for them. I will provide whatever other info an SPA?MPA mey require (phone# as i have a hobby phone)) I see absolutely no issue in providing my Cerb handle to a lady. In fact I find the more info. you offer in your opening email conversation the better. If I offer my name, handle, a brief description of myself, preferred method of contact and the fact that I have references available upon request I find I have no issues contact wise with that lady. I have and never will offer my last name or home phone number but have no issues with the other listed info. I do disagree with you in that almost every lady I have seen has asked for a reference. Of course every lady is different and therefore have different standards, etc. I figure if I know her Cerb handle, age, what she looks like, etc. it is only fair to offer the same. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sexy bbw vero 425 Report post Posted January 26, 2010 I agree too ... I had a no-show with a member of cerb the other day without any cancellation contact ... but it was an exception because usually, when you have the nick name of the member, it's more serious. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Auralie (retired) 227 Report post Posted January 26, 2010 I don't understand- why not provide your CERB handle? Sometimes I get phone calls that just say a phone number and nothing, or else "hi, it's *bob*, call me". I don't even know if they're calling for me, there's no way I'm going to return that message. I'm also not going to provide my address to some random guy that calls my phone. I know, of course, there's risks involved for you men, but it doesn't even come close to the risks that we SPs face so I think a little give and take is only fair. 6 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
c***y 181 Report post Posted January 26, 2010 I have no trouble giving a lady my CERB name. I will tell her who i am on CERB in a e-mail first. I feel that way if she wants to know what kind of guy i am she can come on read my posts and hopefully feel a little more at ease with me. After that if she wants another SP's name no trouble i will give her 2 or three. These Ladies put themselves out there not knowing who we are, I know we do the same thing. steve said it right when he said these ladies don't get the appreciation they deserve. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cato 160314 Report post Posted January 26, 2010 I always book with my cerb name, as well. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mrgreen760 37785 Report post Posted January 26, 2010 I always introduce myself with my Cerb handle...now here's a bit of a different twist, when I find someone who interests me I send a photo prior to meeting, that way they can practice not looking disappointed when I arrive at their door :). Peace Mr Green Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest s******ecan**** Report post Posted January 26, 2010 I can't understand why you wouldn't want to provide your CERB handle. I always provide it and find it makes things much smoother. As for what to do with newbies from the SP's ponit of view that is a tough one. Us guys often talk about TOFTT but there is obviously more risk for the lady. A newbie is unknown as far as his attitude/manners/behaviour etc. Also he is likely to be unschooled in the nicieties of the hobby so that could also pose problems. I was lucky enough that a well respected SP took a chance with me but I was prepared. I had been on CERB for approx 6 months, knew the ettiquette and what was expected. I guess my manners in our initial emails got me to the door. She was careful to reserve the 1st half hour to get comfortable. Since then she has provided me with refererences when needed but I still am grateful she took a chance. I guess in the end it comes down to the lady's personal comfort level. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
daddio 2704 Report post Posted January 27, 2010 I can hardly imagine a situation when I would give an SP my work no. To me, that is just asking for trouble, without any malicious intent on the part of the SP. As I said in another post, I try to establish some kind of relationship beforehand by way of exchanging e-mails. So far, I haven't been asked for a reference, but then I haven't been around cerb very long. I do recall a time last year when I had arranged to meet an out-of-town SP and she asked me for my cell phone no to confirm and finalise the arrangements. I told her that I don't have a cell phone and gave her my home no. She was very surprised that I did that and took it as a sign of trust that I did so. Who knows what is to be taken from that? It may take a philosopher to figure that one out. What I can tell you is that is has led to a very enjoyable, trusting relationship. Human nature being what it is there is a risk in everything we do and there are more risks associated with human relations than anything else in life. I have to say that I have been very fortunate in my throws of the dice. Probably more fortunate than I deserve to be. So it goes. p.s. Erin will get that!!! Maybe some time Erin, we would read Kurt Vonnegut to each other. That would be very sexy!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
roamingguy 300292 Report post Posted February 7, 2010 Being a newbie maybe my opinion doesn't count for much. But I can't see giving some personal info to an sp (home phone, work phone, home address etc)...for the client it could be asking for trouble. Just as there are some bad apple clients, I'm sure there are some bad apple sp's (hopefully all in the minority) That being said, when I arrange my first date with an sp it will be at an outcall at a reputable hotel/motel. And when I book I'll provide my CE handle Don't know if my opinion is wrong, and I'm certainly reading up here, trying to learn proper etiquette RG Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Royalfun 55449 Report post Posted February 9, 2010 I am also a newbie, and I find very reasonable that the sp ask for some information. On the other hand, when its your first time, you cant give some reference from another sp. I wouldnt mind to give my cerb handle; in a way, its seems a good way to get in touch. I understand the etiquette, and am very respectful of it. But information and discretion are not necessarly fit for eachother; this is the dilemma. By any means, I am learning a lot, and I look forward to my first encounter, and hopefully the "chosen" sp will also become my reference. :wink: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest s******ecan**** Report post Posted February 9, 2010 Being a newbie maybe my opinion doesn't count for much. But I can't see giving some personal info to an sp (home phone, work phone, home address etc)...for the client it could be asking for trouble. Just as there are some bad apple clients, I'm sure there are some bad apple sp's (hopefully all in the minority)That being said, when I arrange my first date with an sp it will be at an outcall at a reputable hotel/motel. And when I book I'll provide my CE handle Don't know if my opinion is wrong, and I'm certainly reading up here, trying to learn proper etiquette RG Whenever I see a new SP I always provide references as a matter of course without being asked. If asked for my cell phone I provide it (I've never heard of an SP asking for a home phone or home address and certainly wouldn't provide either of those). I am confident doing this because I screen carefully the SP's I see. I stay with well established SP's who are serious about the business (professional websites, active on Cerb, multiple recommendations etc). The last thing any of these ladies would do would be to endanger their business and hard earned reputation by being indiscrete with client information. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
etasman2000 15994 Report post Posted February 9, 2010 (edited) On the other hand, when its your first time, you cant give some reference from another sp. I wouldnt mind to give my cerb handle; in a way, its seems a good way to get in touch. DateCheck or some other verification service. If you wish to see a SP and its your first time these are an option. I understand the etiquette, and am very respectful of it. But information and discretion are not necessarly fit for eachother; this is the dilemma. When I was starting out I avoided certain SPs because of this. I felt their security requirements were too stringent, I didn't have a SP reference to provide nor did I know of DateCheck et al. It took me about 2+ months before becoming comfortable adhering to the security requirements. The rest they say is history.... Edited February 9, 2010 by etasman2000 Missing quote link Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
