Why we ask for refferences...

[EmilyRushton 253372]

I don't agree. I won't provide my cerb/terb handle. Nor will I provide my real name. Anonymity is essential, espcially when SOME SPs/MPAs(and I mean just a very few ) are indiscreet.

I have never had a problem with not providing a real name or refernces, as the majority SPs/MPAs don't ask for them. I will provide whatever other info an SPA?MPA mey require (phone# as i have a hobby phone))

 

From a lady's point of view, this statement makes the warning bells go off. A statement like this shows that you have something to hide, in allot of ways. How is it incriminating to provide your board handle (condsidering that it is not your real name)? A hobby phone is fine, but something here makes me think that it would be a "Private Number". I am not trying to knock you for your thoughts, I am just stating mine, so please dont take offence to what I am writing.

 

Yes, there are some ladies who have raised cause for concern in this industry due to there lack of indescretion, but that does not apply to all of us. how does providing a reference cause a problem, when you saw another lady on an alias as well?

 

I ask for lots of details about who I may be visiting with, firstly so that we can establish a connection prior to visting, as well to ensure that you are who you say you are. There are too many problems that can arrise when visiting with someone new, and asking for a reference will usually prevent problems from happening.

 

Be grateful you are in Canada and hobbing, allot of ladies in the USA require a peice of photo id before the encounter will happen. A reference, is alot easier that this.

 

Just my thoughts,

 

Emily

[Guest c******n****h]

In my business, I choose who I want to work with. If I don't feel right about someone, I don't work with them. An SP has every right, and in fact a duty to herself and others to weed out the bad apples. If a potential client refuses to answer questions, then I would say walk away. Of course I understand there is a need for discretion, but safety is paramount. Trust your instincts and if they tell you to walk away, they are probably right.

[roamingguy 300292]

First to be clear I understand the security issues, but a client has concerns too (at least w first meeting with first sp..after repeat encounters the trust would develop) I don't want my family,friends and coworkers knowing. I'm sure many sp's out there don't want their family & friends knowing as well

I have no problems providing a cell phone number (won't call from a blocked number)

And I'll give my cerb handle

I'll also have the outcall at my motel/hotel (not some dump) I'll also ask if there are any preferred motel/hotel

Am I leaving anything out

RG

[mod 135640]

And I'll give my cerb handle

 

LOL... cerb handles are not very good references when you only have 2 posts... but once you have a few hundred your cerb rep will be accepted as a reference to many of the ladies on cerb.

[roamingguy 300292]

LOL... cerb handles are not very good references when you only have 2 posts... but once you have a few hundred your cerb rep will be accepted as a reference to many of the ladies on cerb.

 

lol...and at this point in time my handle isn't worth much...but keep in mind I did just join

Every journy begins with but a first step

I actually just made the point because someone in an earlier post wouldn't provide his handle

BTW isn't my post count going up now:lol:

RG

[Kubrickfan 12836]

The funniest thing would be if you give your cerb handle, you have a lot of posts, and the lady turns you down. Uggggh, that would be a sad day ... kinda like having "digital body odor." ;)

 

As to the post, I cant agree more ... the regular posters (both guys and gals) here work pretty hard at it for the most part, and the trust/respect issue goes both ways by benefitting both parties.

[Jim.Bean 241]

How do I provide a reference?

[etasman2000 15994]

How do I provide a reference?

 

No different from when asked for a reference in a job interview. Only instead of providing a contact from your previous employment you provide one or two contacts from previous SPs that you have met.

[Carrie Moon 68826]

I may be one of the rare escorts who never asks for references. I was escorting long before the internet came into being never mind having such communities online where you could even consider this.

 

I go completely by my gut and it has never steered me wrong.. even learned when I have a weird feeling but I was curious anyway.. that my gut was right about being dumb about accepting an appt. Know what I mean?

 

Anyway.. newbies by all means book with me and I'll be your reference. I'm happy to give them but never require them. I see a lot of first timers.. if no-one sees them without a reference how are they supposed to get started???

 

Girls who are adamant about getting references have to remember that someone had to see them first :)

 

FYI.. not to scare anyone but I had a long term regular client that indeed had an sp get jealous on him when he saw her sp roomate.. and called his wife so it does happen!

 

I do however only accept new appts with a number I can verify.. why? because if you no-show I will keep your # in my phone so you can't pull it on me a 2nd time.

[etasman2000 15994]

Girls who are adamant about getting references have to remember that someone had to see them first :)

 

Most, if not all, are also wiling to accept other adult verifications systems, Date Check or what have you.

[Grass_Hopper 18263]

How do I provide a reference?

 

If you end a rndez-vous with me, and want to see an SP that ask for refference, I will tell you, at the end of our meeting that you can give my name and phone number to the person...

 

I will not provide refference to everybody, and will not accept refferences from everyone...

 

But, out of gang bang, there's absolutly no way you can give a refference... You're a guy!

[VictoriaJolie 64127]

I read all the above and;

 

Reference is not requested by all the ladies and in all provinces.I personally requested in city where bylaws is more active or in city where i know there is a lot of wasting time.I do give the option to someone for not providing phone

 

Canada is way more tolerant when it come to this industry than in USA.

Personally my requirement are way more high when i am in the USA as they are way more risks for me involve.I do ask for work informations+ reference

yes i do check ID and take alternate option of verification service like Roomservice 2000 or date-check or preferred411.Strict yes..Never been indiscrete with the information that has been provide to me for screening as it is not worth to loose my name .

 

People can decide whether or not they are willing to provide me what i ask...I don't force anyone the person should respect my choice of not seeing them.It is not because we are provider that we have to say yes to you.Yes we can be selective of the clientele we want.At the end ..You come to my place or i come to you..T

It is not worth making an exception for 300/400/500$ to get arrested in the USA or here having problem with BYLAW or having "problem child".

 

In the few years i have provide in Canada i have found that guys that aren't willing to provide anything are usually waste of time or do have an agenda, or not at their best behavior or in few case have been burned by an unprofessional provider.

 

I am always available to provide reference to gents with 5 stars behavior as this is the least i can do for them as they have been nice to me.However i would let know a provider if that person have waste my time on numerous occasions.

 

I think that if some guys really want to stay anonymous maybe they should visit MP or the providers that are in the street.One is an establishement and i am sure have ways to keep them safe.The other on street is usually not a choice and cannot afford to be selective(i am saying that without judgement).

 

Like Emily have said i think that gents here should embrasse their country tolerance and the fact that most providers here request very few info

 

Victoria Jolie

[GreekFreak 101]

Obviously this is going to be a touchy subject for either party. I can honestly see the validity and sincerity in 99.99% of the points being made by the SPs and Pooners alike. Being that I am a pooner I am naturally biased toward my own protection, and given the nature of the consequences should an SP go sideways on any of us (pooners)... Well I don't feel it is outrageous to expect a pooner to be anything less then protective over their personal identity. Of course the pooners needs must find a healthy balance with the SPs needs and that's where it seems to get complicated..... I was fortunate enough to be able to see Victoria Jolie the last time she was in town (fabulous by the way :D) BUT I didn't have a reference.... I contacted her via email and after a few conversations I was confortable enough to provide her with my cell number which satisfied her verification requirements- lucky me!

 

The rest is glorious history :bddog: :-D

 

But I can promise there is no way I would have given my cell number to any other SP I have ever met (maybe ONE exception). The point is the Pooner and SP must become very comfortable with one another before sensitive information, and in turn services, are exchanged. This type of relationship does not usually devlope in a mater of a few emails or posts. How can the SP or Pooner decide who has to "go first". IE: I give you all of my info up front, you give me services later or vice versa. It's not really fair to make either go first but the next issue is the fact that the SP is indeed running a business. Although they have every right to meet only the most respectable Pooners out there they do adopt a certain level of risk. Along with that risk comes compensation. What does that mean at the end of the day? I'm not entirely sure... :? What I am sure of is SPs need to use every tool in their arsenol to protect themselves from the idiots out there...

 

I'm not sure there is a 100% fair solution either way so like most relationships everyone is going to have to grin and bear it to a certain extent and come to a mutual ground, develope a relationship (can't wait to see you again VJ!!) and then enjoy the fruits of the process as a whole. I just don't see any easy way to get there...

 

I really hope I didn't offend anyone and I hope at least 10% of that made sense to someone besides me lol.......

 

H

[rileydaniels 1901]

If they withhold any information I do not see them, contact number, hotel information or references.

[Carrie Moon 68826]

Most, if not all, are also wiling to accept other adult verifications systems, Date Check or what have you.

 

yes.. Date check, preferred411, roomservice2000 etc are verification services.. that is different from a reference. Date check can't tell you if the client is respectful, hygenic or safe.. they can only verify the potential client is who he says he is.. at least for the first appt they make as a hobbyist.

 

References and verification are two completely different things.

[alexgrenyait 2186]

that is exactly how operate also Carrie I am currently having a website made and am not sure as if i should put a page like that up my gut has never ever steered me wrong,alex xo

[etasman2000 15994]

yes.. Date check, preferred411, roomservice2000 etc are verification services.. that is different from a reference. Date check can't tell you if the client is respectful, hygenic or safe.. they can only verify the potential client is who he says he is.. at least for the first appt they make as a hobbyist.

 

References and verification are two completely different things.

 

I do agree that there is a distinction between a reference and a verification.

 

Perhaps my understanding of these verification services is faulty. My understanding is after the client see a provider the provider has the option of giving the client a reference which is kept in the system. Other providers can now look these references up.

[Carrie Moon 68826]

I do agree that there is a distinction between a reference and a verification.

 

Perhaps my understanding of these verification services is faulty. My understanding is after the client see a provider the provider has the option of giving the client a reference which is kept in the system. Other providers can now look these references up.

 

Nope your understanding is correct.. but like I said.. someone has to TOFTT for a newbie.. I don't mind being that person after my gut feeling has cleared them :)

[masterowls 249]

Whenever I contact someone from here, whether it be a service provider or other friend, I always use my CERB handle at first. That way the person can decide whether or not they choose to connect back or not. It's only fair and safe for everyone.

 

I had weird situations that I do not want to experience again, with people I did'nt knew...

 

Drunk, punk, or junk, everything's out there for us... We need to protect ourselves, including refferences...

 

Please, there's no such insult of being hung up after asking for a CERB handle...

 

I need to know who you are, so I can feel safe and confident to offer you the best services...

[Isabella Gia (Banned) 53881]

I would say cerb handles are not a reference no matter how many posts the member has. In my personal experience I have had good get-together with more than one member with zero posts and one bad encounter with a member with many many posts. Yes, I do feel safe meeting cerb members but the number of posts he has is not in the list of things I consider to meet or not the person.

 

LOL... cerb handles are not very good references when you only have 2 posts... but once you have a few hundred your cerb rep will be accepted as a reference to many of the ladies on cerb.

IMO the lady should contact you back at least to explain the reasons why she will not see you.

Whenever I contact someone from here, whether it be a service provider or other friend, I always use my CERB handle at first. That way the person can decide whether or not they choose to connect back or not. It's only fair and safe for everyone.

[masterowls 249]

I would normally agree that a CERB handle is not necessarily the ideal reference, however, if as in my case, one is new to an area and doesn't have references because you are the first person he has contacted, a CERB reputation is better than nothing I think.

[Guest E*******h S******s]

Two things:

 

Firstly, if a member actually refuses to give a CERB handle even though he has one, that raises a warning flag. It tells me that there is a fairly high possibility that this person has either posted something that was ill received by the ladies or that they have sent a questionable pm to someone. The way a person posts has a lot to do with whether I will see them. After all, the way I posted had an awful lot to do with whether a "pooner" (somebody tell me what the derivation of that particular euphemism is please?:confused:) would see me. I never required a board name but I would always ask if they were a member. I remember one person who reluctantly gave his handle, thinking I wouldn't see him because we got into a debate in a particular thread. He debated the issue and never made it personal so of course I saw him. People who debate by using insults on a board will get refused every single time. And I've never felt the need to explain my reasoning to any of them. No is no plain and simple. The reason is irrelevant.

 

Secondly, I did decide (approx. 6 months before I retired) to ask for references for anyone I hadn't seen before. It completely eradicated no call/ no shows and timewasters. If I ever did decide to come out of retirement (and believe me boys, that's not gonna happen any time soon), I would insist on at least one reference from whatever board I was advertising on.

 

Just my .02.:-)

[roamingguy 300292]

Reading through this thread and I had a thought.:idea:

Maybe there could be a way in the hobbiest's profile that a icon (thumbs up) could be put by an SP. The SP after seeing the hobbiest, if the encounter was good, could click on the hobbiest's profile, and put a thumbs up icon on his profile. Any other sp's who check the hobbiest's profile would see the thumbs up, click on it, see who submitted it and if any questions they could contact the sp

For negative encounters there is the restricted sp only section of cerb.

Just a quick thought, quickly thought out

RG

[Guest W***ledi*Time]

... Maybe there could be a way in the hobbiest's profile that a icon (thumbs up) could be put by an SP. The SP after seeing the hobbiest, if the encounter was good, could click on the hobbiest's profile, and put a thumbs up icon on his profile. Any other sp's who check the hobbiest's profile would see the thumbs up, click on it, see who submitted it and if any questions they could contact the sp ...

 

A number of ladies use their "Friends List" for this exact purpose:

 

http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=10029

http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=25777

[nutty 153]

From a lady's point of view, this statement makes the warning bells go off. A statement like this shows that you have something to hide, in allot of ways. How is it incriminating to provide your board handle (condsidering that it is not your real name)? A hobby phone is fine, but something here makes me think that it would be a "Private Number". I am not trying to knock you for your thoughts, I am just stating mine, so please dont take offence to what I am writing.

 

Yes, there are some ladies who have raised cause for concern in this industry due to there lack of indescretion, but that does not apply to all of us. how does providing a reference cause a problem, when you saw another lady on an alias as well?

 

I ask for lots of details about who I may be visiting with, firstly so that we can establish a connection prior to visting, as well to ensure that you are who you say you are. There are too many problems that can arrise when visiting with someone new, and asking for a reference will usually prevent problems from happening.

 

Be grateful you are in Canada and hobbing, allot of ladies in the USA require a peice of photo id before the encounter will happen. A reference, is alot easier that this.

 

Just my thoughts,

 

Emily

 

Emily,

 

I like your style. Being new to CERB, but not new to the hobby biz in general, I hope you can all appreciate this perspective.

 

Before I joined CERB, I would find SPs on various sites, most of them brutally overrun by bait and switch and scams. So after being burned, I figured I should start making sure that the SP was genuine and that I wasn't going to get caught with my pants down again :wink: I would spend all kinds of time researching posts and recommendations (on this site included, but as a guest) just trying to make sure I'm not walking into a situation that is, well, less than desireable.

 

Yeah, I'm married with a family. Yeah, my job might be on the line if things went south legally. I potentially have a lot to lose and the risks I take in this hobby are clearly worth what I get out of it... Why should I expect anything less from the ladies? The risk they take has to be worth the donation they're getting - so I ask all of you who don't want to provide references, is your safety worth a couple of bills? I can totally understand providing services for that kind of compensation, and I've even contemplated doing it myself, but my safety is worth way more than that. I applaud those who would respect themselves enough to ask for references - even if it means turning away some business...

 

To Emily and everyone else out there looking out for themselves while providing us crazed enthusiasts great services, Bravo! And I hope to meet you someday soon... :-P