Disappointment

[stevecurious 42059]

I recently met a lady whom I had never seen before and felt the need to post this. I realize that on Cerb we are not to post anything negative and for the most part I agree with this. However, I hope that by not using names, locations, etc. I can freely post this article. The lady that I met with was everything that her profile and reviews say that she is, physical description, etc. However my issues lie elsewhere. We had e-mailed many times about all the usual details, questions, etc. concerning a first time meeting. All seemed well...until I got to her room. I had requested some special attire and one or two other details that she agreed to in our e-mail conversations. When she opened the door she had on Jeans and a sweater, which I fully expected for a first time meeting. After all who answers their door in their underwear! After we talked for a bit she excused herself to "change." I, fully expecting my requests to be honoured waited anxiously. I was shocked when my requests were NOT honoured. When I brought up my requests she seemed totally confused and shocked by my comments. Add to this her Blackberry ringing endlessly through the entire session! Not at all what I had expected or hoped for from a lady who appears to come very highly recommended! I do not want to seem as though I am whining or sulking, because I am not. I just felt the need to post this and express my concerns the same way some of the ladies express there's! So hopefully this post will be taken the way I meant it to be, nothing more or nothing less than an honest and constructive piece of information about someone who will go forever nameless.

[mod 135639]

Although a negative context this post is acceptable as it is a problem that many of the ladies do face and discussing it should help them see that this is very important to the men and in this case it looks like the lady may have lost a potential repeat client.

 

Hopefully this lady sees this thread (you may even want to send her a quick email explaining why you are disappointed, show her your original request if in the form of a email and show her a link to this thread)... She will be thankful you did not "call her out" and maybe she will learn that promised client requests that go undelivered can end up costing them repeat business (or substantial tips).

 

Thank you for not naming names here and trying to address a problem without pointing a finger. Remember even a highly recommended lady will not be perfect for everyone - and even the best ladies forget special requests once in a while by mistake (or even miss appointments) we are all human don't forget.

 

... and we are all different people with different tastes and interests.

 

These ladies are often VERY busy, I Know this is not an excuse but keep in mind that you are emailing one lady and chances are you are 1 of 20 or more other men are also emailing her questions on the same day.

 

Between doing calls, scheduling, advertising, etc.. it does get confusing and things get lost or missed. I know I am guilty of forgetting to do things customers ask of me, sometimes I will get a email with 3 or 4 requests and I will end up doing all but one of the requests (Just too busy at the time and I overlook some part of the request - this happens a lot when the customer writes LONG WINDED emails that are very time consuming).

 

Of course, one way to make sure the ladies remember your "special requests" is to have a "normal" short date with them first with no special requests (see if you click) and if you enjoyed your time give her a very NICE tip and suggest another meeting (Maybe a multi hour meeting) and mention your request... you would be a repeat customer now and repeat customers with most of the ladies get a little extra attention!

 

If you were a gentleman and a generous person I bet your next appointment would be even more delightful.

 

The ladies will remember the guys who treat them well (both in regards to respect and generosity)

[stevecurious 42059]

To further comment on the MOD post it is more than just the ladies that experience these issues. I can, and will only speak for myself about anything but when requests are made, be they large or small, they should be fulfilled! When a lady requests that her donation be placed on the table before the session starts I don't wait until I am leaving to go home to give it to her! The same should hold true for the SP's! I like to think my time is just as valuable as their time is, so please let us all respect each others time and requests! That way SP's will have repeat clients and we (the clients) will be more than happy to return!

[Guest W***ledi*Time]

.... her Blackberry ringing endlessly through the entire session! ....

 

This would be a big mood-killer.

[stevecurious 42059]

Sadly you are more than correct, a major mood killer! The amazing thing is it just kept ringing....unbelievable!

[mod 135639]

Did you say "Would you mind putting that into silent mode so we can enjoy our time together without interruption"? I know you should not have to do this... She should obviously know better but a lot of the ladies do not have a copy of the "How to conduct your escort business" handbook (they are in short supply!)... and very few of the ladies have any formal business training and expected to be completely professional (Often this is way to high to set your expectations unless you are dating ladies who have been in the business for many years).

 

Now... Iknow a number of ladies in the business with formal business training (None out your way but Toronto and Ottawa have ladies who are very "Business" oriented. Some even have MBa's and I even know a lady with a doctorate in physiology and formal business training who worked in the business for many years in Toronto to pay for school and loved the business so much she continued for a number of years in the business after school as well so the ladies who would meet all these expectations do exist. I always loved talking with her as she have such a incredible mind for business!

 

My advise, don't go see this lady again (at least not for a year or two) and keep up your search till you find someone that does fulfill all your needs and requirements... then you should recommend that lady here!!

 

Many of the ladies are learning as they go. We need to make them aware that these things are bad if they are oblivious to them. Try to do a nice thing and help them understand where they went wrong (Politely of course).

[Annessa 22743]

Did you say "Would you mind putting that into silent mode so we can enjoy our time together without interruption"? I know you should not have to do this... She should obviously know better but a lot of the ladies do not have a copy of the "How to conduct your escort business" handbook (they are in short supply!)... and very few of the ladies have any formal business training and expected to be completely professional (Often this is way to high to set your expectations unless you are dating ladies who have been in the business for many years).

 

 

I'm thinking this too....I always have my work phone off and say that I keep my personal phone on vibrate for emergencies....it rarely get ringed over and over tho, lol....unless its my babysitter stating a problem

 

I believe theres an entire thread on this part of SP etiquette, however.

 

BTW, requesting it does not mean its going to happen....if she confirms and agrees upon said attire then you definitely shouldnt feel any shame (just like politely requesting that her blackberry should be turned on vibrate or even off) in coyly saying "awww...so no "___whatever you requested__" for me tonight? I was so excited to see that"

 

perhaps she forgot, (in which case she should have appologized and ran back and changed for you) but if she wasn't willing to fulfill a request that was agreed upon, and you were left with the awkwardness of having to ask for it again ...while her blackberry was ringing off the hook, then I dont think this is an SP who needs your business

 

its funny, we talk a lot about bait and switch.....but if you agreed on something with an SP, yet they are only willing to meet u halfway or forget completely about your requests (and noted: personal requests for some clients are not easy to bring up...if hes done you a favor ladies in telling you whats turned you on and you 'forget'....excpect to not have him be a repeat!) its a bit of a no-brainer that they haven't put the time and effort and brains into *your* experience

 

my two cents IMO

[Emma Alexandra 123368]

After all who answers their door in their underwear!

 

I have..hehe...well maybe not on the first date...and only if asked too...

kisses,

Emma

[AttilaTheHun 356]

I didn't even realize that you owned any underwear Miss Emma....

 

ATH

 

 

I have..hehe...well maybe not on the first date...and only if asked too...

kisses,

Emma

[Guest s******ecan****]

To me its all about communication. If things weren't as planned for sure bring it up, you're the client don't be shy, far better to get it out in the open than to go home later disappointed. Especially when it comes to the ringing blackberry, I can't imagine an SP unwilling to shut it off for you.

 

Yes in a perfect world everyone performs perfectly all the time...but it ain't a perfect world, just look what happened to Ireland in the World Cup! Even the highest paid professionals screw up.

[Cara Silver 32412]

I'm with Steve on this one. You should not have to ASK for good service. You should not have had to have had a previous date with someone in order for them to fulfill your requests in the next session.

 

If the lady is on cerb there is no excuse for her to have not read about the ubiquitous cell phone complaints. No 'business training' is required for simple politeness and respect.

 

I don't care if the ladies are busy. Being a good sp is about briefly re-reading the email of a client you are about to see and knowing, to the extent that you can, who he is and what he wants.

 

That's just common sense.

[Apex2006 1071]

I have had a simular thread to this one in the past, and I'm still amazed about the phone issue. I hope she did not answer it!

 

What would an SP think if while we are in the midway point of our session and she got up to handle her phone and I got up and left with half the donations? Just an idea incase this should ever happen again.

 

:?:

[mod 135639]

Yes Amelia I would agree that a "GOOD SP" would re-read the emails and be more organized but some would not care about this as long as the lady was pretty and excited them. We all have different standards and we all have things that bother us and things we can overlook. We all do not all put the same "VALUE" on such things as adequate or organization skills.

 

It's like the people who come onto cerb and try to correct bad grammar in posts (Grammar Police). Most of the ladies here are not highly educated (a good portion are but we have a lot of high school drop outs as well) but that is the nature of this business. I personally have horrible grammar and I don't care as I do not value grammar like others do... but those who do value grammar look down at people like me. If they expect everyone to value grammar the same as they do they are just setting themselves up for a life of disappointment!

 

You may NATURALLY have the ability to be this organized but a lot of people DO NOT have this skill naturally and it takes time to learn (if at all possible as some people are not able to learn such things). You may have grown up with parents who took the time to tech you respect and manners (Both are learned behaviors)... not everyone was lucky enough to have this guidance... some will need to learn this late in life (and that is not always easy).

 

I feel that every generation becomes a little less polite then the previous. Maybe it is because we have such things as high divorce rates and dual income families, etc... parents are too busy to properly teach their kids, some parents don't have these skills to begin with, some parents are too young to have these kids, etc.... so kids are not being taught these values at home like they were in the 50's and prior when the woman would stay home with the kids.

 

Cell phones are no longer luxury items, these younger people have grown up with them as part of the culture now (They are taken for granted) and etiquette that we "Older" folk expect from cell phone users is sometimes not even a consideration. (and it should be - I agree).

 

You obviously are organized, polite and have a good business sense... you may come by this naturally but I assure you... many people don't. This lady may have the potential to be a great SP (and is doing enough things right that she is getting some praise by guys who may not have expectations like stevecurious has but she may never learn without enough people pointing out what she is doing wrong.

 

You are either "book smart" or "experience smart" (Formal training or time)... the exception to the rule is that you naturally have good business sense (and this is surely a exception to the rule).

 

If you really think every SP (even the new ladies just getting into the business) should naturally be well organized with proper etiquette and manners you will be disappointed.

Let me state the obvious...

-You do not need college education to be a SP (Or high school for that matter)

-You do not receive training for this job

-You do not need to have a resume to get a job in this business

-You do not need to pass any test or exam to qualify being a SP

 

Many ladies (Like Amelia for example) seam to get it! They realize that having your phone ring during the session is bad (and she may have known this on her first date or she may have learned this over time - I am not sure) - same with organization (She may naturally be organized, she may have some admin skills from a past job or formal training) but this NOT the case with everyone.

 

Maybe I am the only one who will actually come out and say this... Many of the NEW ladies (New to the business) really have no clue about how to conduct themselves, how to run a business, market themselves, etc... they will either learn this over time and some never learn. Either way they will still succeed in this business (It's just that kind of business) but the ones who "Get it" and learn how to work the business properly will obviously do much better.

 

Keep in mind that a lot of ladies (NOT ALL) turn to this business not because they LOVE the BUSINESS but because they have very little choice! The REALLY GREAT ladies LOVE THE BUSINESS!

[Andee 220524]

I agree with the MOD that this is not an excuse, but it can happen in that (quote)

These ladies are often VERY busy, I Know this is not an excuse but keep in mind that you are emailing one lady and chances are you are 1 of 20 or more other men are also emailing her questions on the same day.

 

Between doing calls, scheduling, advertising, etc.. it does get confusing and things get lost or missed. I know I am guilty of forgetting to do things customers ask of me, sometimes I will get a email with 3 or 4 requests and I will end up doing all but one of the requests (Just too busy at the time and I overlook some part of the request - this happens a lot when the customer writes LONG WINDED emails that are very time consuming). (unquote)

 

 

Busy or not, when I schedule an appointment, if there is a special request (for attire, for example), I always make a note to myself. I don't know if it's because I worked for several years as an admin. assistant but I never relied solely on my memory to "remember" things. If I did, I'd be in big trouble. My outlook calendar for example has become my best friend. Forgetting even part of a request in the working world can mean the difference between been employed or unemployed, so for me it has become engrained.

 

Since we are in the business of providing a service, we should listen to/read e-mails attentively and honour those requests we agree to or not agree to them to begin with. This does not take any special training or education. Like it was said above, it's just common sense.

 

As for the phone, if I forget to turn mine off, I either put it on vibe and put it somewhere where it won't be "dancing" on the table or turn it off immediately the first time it rings. I couldn't imagaine someone letting their phone ring and ring during a session. That is just bad manners. Clients have told me about SPs who actually answer their phone while in session. They obviously don't repeat.

 

I agree - cut this one loose and see someone else next time who will honour your request.

[MandalayBay 575]

Hobbiests pay a lot of money for the services of SPs and these gentlemen have a right to expect courtesy during their sessions.

 

If we were dining in a restaurant we would expect that our server not answer their cell phone while serving us. We would also expect the server to bring us the food and beverages we request, not just show up with any food and beverage.

 

In the instance of a restaurant, the customer is usually only paying an average of fifty dollars for food and drinks ... not hundreds of dollars as hobbiests typically pay.

 

The original poster has handled this situation with class and hopefully the lady he is speaking about reads this and changes her behaviour.

[redmachine 1916]

its funny, we talk a lot about bait and switch.....but if you agreed on something with an SP, yet they are only willing to meet u halfway or forget completely about your requests (and noted: personal requests for some clients are not easy to bring up...if hes done you a favor ladies in telling you whats turned you on and you 'forget'....excpect to not have him be a repeat!) its a bit of a no-brainer that they haven't put the time and effort and brains into *your* experience

 

my two cents IMO

 

I agree with Annssa actually I believe that if a sp/ep fails to follow through on a agreed upon special request weather it be attire,fettish.fantasies.or a specific sex act it is just another form of bait and switch.

Personally I am not comfortable discussing these things beforehand I prefer to check out a sp/ep recos and web sites before hand to get a good idea if she is someone I would like to spend time with.

Sever months ago I did have a similar experience as Steve with a sp/ep I had seen a few times before we had exchanged several pm's with a couple of special request on my behalf when I arrived she had no recall of these request even though she had replied to all of them for that matter I'm not sure if she even remembered who I was.

That was several months ago and she is also a well reviewed lady here on cerb I have not been back and have no intention too the way I see it if I can take the time and read through several pages of recos and web pages the sp/ep should take the minute or to it would take to check a few pm's before our date.

[Andee 220524]

No one is perfect and we all make mistakes from time to time. But those mistakes can usually be rectified. In the case the attire, she might have easily offered to change into the request attire (if she had such clothing with her).

 

As for the phone, you should not ever need to ask an SP to quiet her phone...

 

as said before..the bottom line is "common sense" should always prevail.

[Guest s******ecan****]

Well after this thread I guess its fair to say we should see a reduction in cell phone ringing during visits .....at least for the near future. I've been with SP's who have recv'd email pings during our visit but it never bothered me. 2 recv'd phone calls (both right at the end of the session) and again it didn't bother me. In the throes of passionate abandon I might not even notice. But hey thats just me. I'm pretty relaxed and tend to like my encounters to be rollicking frollicking knocking over the furniture half undressed affairs anyways. I might even request my future SP's to leave their phone on to add to the atmosphere of abandon lol. ;)

[mod 135639]

Hobbiests pay a lot of money for the services of SPs and these gentlemen have a right to expect courtesy during their sessions.

 

For sure they should expect courtesy (Not to sure about it being a right) but they should feel that they have the right to ask to silence the phone that is ringing over and over again during the time.

 

If the agreed on date included some special outfit and the lady agreed in advance on the outfit then the guy should really say "I think you forgot about the outfit you promised to wear for me" (along the lines of what Annessa had commented earlier on) and if she can not deliver a apology and explanation that she forgot would be expected and appreciated and maybe even a refund as she is not holding up her end of the agreement.

 

I doubt it was a intentional bait and switch... more likely it was a "oops, I don't pay enough attention to my clients needs and requests and I am very unorganized..." (some of the ladies have the attitude that "my looks and sex is what the guy is paying for and that should be enough" ... and for many guys this is true and fine with them as they do not expect anything more).

 

Angela said it best "Forgetting even part of a request in the working world can mean the difference between been employed or unemployed, so for me it has become ingrained." - Learned behavior from real world experience.

 

Some of you expect that all the ladies should somehow be professional career women (without the formal training). You expect the ladies to have a whole tool box full of business skills and public relations skills. Trust me, that is the exception to the rule and your setting yourself up for disappointment!!

 

Some of the ladies do have these skills but the majority don't - and most who do have it have either learned it by being in the business for MANY years or they have prior "REAL WORLD / CORPORATE" work experience.

 

Why would you ever expect such things? To me it would be a added bonus if the lady had these skills but I would not expect them to have them.

 

In my world I need to know such things as ROI, marketing, logistics ... some of you know what these things are and the ladies who know what these things are really clean up in this business. Now you don't need university or college to work with our company (a self taught graphic artist or self taught computer programmer is always a better choice than a text book educated person if you ask me) so I would not expect someone to come working with us and to know what these things are on your first day... but I am sure you would not last long with our company if you did not learn and understand these skills over time and we would take the time to teach these things to the new member of our team.

 

Mandalay and Angela obviously both have regular job history (and obviously know about expectations of customers and employers). It's easy to forget that many of the ladies in this business DO NOT have this history.

[stevecurious 42059]

Thank you Amelia, I knew that a professional such as yourself would understand! Having your phone off is not something that you need business training for. All you need is common sense training!

[Cara Silver 32412]

I think my problem with all this is that no one is responsible for teaching these SPs good manners, ESPECIALLY not the client. I don't think this is an environment in which nurture and growth are the responsibilities of cerb, the client, or other SPs. This is BUSINESS. Not group therapy. If these girls don't know how to fulfill a simple request or turn off the phone, it's no one's problem but their own.

 

Good manners and common sense have nothing to do with 'natural ability', previous work eperience, or 'polite parents.' This isn't a situation in which we all need to be a little more understanding about bad service because it's reflective of greater societal problems, or because the real issue is the victimization of the next generation by an unjust society and ill-equipped parents.

 

Cell phone etiquette and politeness are taught to children as early as kindergarten. There's no excuse for bad service. I, for one, am not going to invest in an overused and feel-good mantra about nurturing poorly-mannered prositutes because really it's not their fault.

 

If I go somewhere and get bad service, I don't go back. The last thing I would expect these hard-working and high-paying clients to do is sit down and wonder how they might help the sp be a better sp. The sp sucks? She sucks. Not your fault, not my fault. See another girl.

[stevecurious 42059]

...Furthermore it is not just the fact that it was an outfit not worn. It was the fact that we had talked about and agreed on a total of three (3) requests! Combine that with the phone, which I had asked her to turn off, makes for a very poor session, and as we all know one poor sessions equals no repeat sessions. As of yet I have NEVER had the misfortune of a lady leaving her phone on, or not honouring requests. I realize everyone has an opinion...and I have mine. I just felt this needed to be said and discussed.

[Kathryn Bardot 99339]

Mandalay and Angela obviously both have regular job history (and obviously know about expectations of customers and employers). It's easy to forget that many of the ladies in this business DO NOT have this history.

 

I think it is very rare to find someone who does not have ANY sort of work experience. Even with a minimum wage as a teenager, you learn the importance of work etiquette and organization - you have to be at work on time for your shifts, you have to remember to bring your uniform/swipe card/etc, and you learn proper customer care [including remembering specific requests]. I've been a manager [with high school kids as employees], so I know that some times shit happens and things get forgotten, but I also know that the customer has the right to speak up when service is not up to par. It's disrespectful to say that because a "majority" of SPs do not hold a degree [high school, university, etc.] they cannot be held to a level of organization - these are skills we learn in grade school, even!

 

On a side note, mod: You say that some people look down on you because you don't have the strongest grammar skills. I'll admit it - I wince when I see some of your posts, and some posts from some of the ladies out there. NOT because I am "looking down on them," but because it's painful to see someone in a professional aspect [we are, after all, self-employed and running our own businesses] projecting such an unprofessional image of themselves or their business. It's one thing to misspell a word here or there, it's quite another to completely butcher the English language when advertising services.

[jerican 657]

I was about to say the same thing! :lol:

 

Definitely not complaining about that BTW!

I didn't even realize that you owned any underwear Miss Emma....

 

ATH

[etasman2000 15994]

It's one thing to misspell a word here or there, it's quite another to completely butcher the English language when advertising services.

 

I give leyway to those who might not have English as their first language, typically translating French to English......or Maritimes to English :)