Different

[Jabba 18389]

Kinda' bored here so please excuse the low grade post. Thought I would do a little research on different kinds of bathroom experiences.

 

THE HOUDINI (also known as "The Ghost"): You know you've crapped. There is crap on the toilet paper but none in the toilet. It just up and disappeared!

TEFLON: Comes out so slick, clean and easy that you don't even feel it. No trace of anything on the toilet paper, you have to look in the bowl to be sure you did it.

GOOEY (also known as "The Slider"): This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe 12 times and you still don't come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your underpants so you don't stain them. This one leaves permanent skid marks in the toilet.

SECOND THOUGHT: You're all done wiping and about to stand up when you realize it, you've got some more.

THE ELVIS: This is what killed the King. It doesn't want to come out until you're all sweaty, trembling, and purple from straining so hard. Try not to leave bite marks on the door.

WEIGHT WATCHERS: You drop so much you loose several kilograms.

RIGHT NOW: You better be within 30 seconds of a toilet. You burn rubber getting there. Take small steps & clench tightly. Usually, it has its head out before you get your pants down.

KING KONG: This one is so big that you know it won't go down the toilet unless you break it into smaller chunks. Yelling at it won't do any good. A wire coat hanger works well, so carry one at all times. This one usually happens at someone else's house.

CORK (Also known as "The Floater"): Even after the third flush, it's still floating in the bowl. My god. How do I get rid of it ??

WETNESS: Hits the water sideways and makes a big splash that gets you all wet. Loads of laughs!

WISH: You sit there all cramped up for several minutes, but no deal.

CEMENT BLOCK: You wish that you'd gotten a spinal block before you tried passing that nasty bugger.

SNAKE: This one is fairly soft, about as thick as your thumb, and at least three feet long.

THE MEXICAN (Also called "The Screamer"): You know it's okay to eat again when your pucker stops burning.

BEER AND MEAT PIE: This happens the day after the night before. Normally the doo don't smell too bad, but this one is BAD!!. Usually this happens at someone else's house and there is someone standing outside the door waiting to use the bathroom. *Note: This one is my favourite. I dropped one of these at work. I was washing my hands while the next guy came in & used the same cubicle. He closed the door, only to have to do an emergency evacuation 2 seconds later. Instant gratification.

[CristyCurves 169032]

Jabba you certainly are one of a kind:) Concerning your post-obviously different stools/movements are reflective of your diet and heath. They are actually a good indicator of ones health. The perfect stool-so it's said is s shaped and requires little wiping, as Doctor Oz has pointed out numerous times on his show:)Happy pooping:)

[WriteOn 3250]

TEFLON: Comes out so slick, clean and easy that you don't even feel it. No trace of anything on the toilet paper, you have to look in the bowl to be sure you did it.

 

 

My favorite.

[Jabba 18389]

A couple more:

 

SHOTGUN: Usually as a result of eating beans and tacos. Very explosive and leaves the bowl looking like a crime scene.

 

DAIRY QUEEN: Has a wonderful, creamy texture. Piles very nicely and with some practice, you can top it off with that trademark curl.

[CristyCurves 169032]

Here some information on the perfect stool-enjoy:)

 

http://www.nealhendrickson.com/mcdougall/020900puinsearchofperfectbowelmovement.htm

[emiafish 30979]

Tar & Toothpaste: no matter how much you wipe, it never gets clean, yuk!

Popcorn: expelled rapidly accompanied by a popping sound.

Fire hose: like turning on a tap of hot burning liquid shit.