appologies to mod if he thought i was attacking him

[Annessa 22743]

I wasn't

 

my thread is regarding a fairly open discussion being closed asap. I'd like a chance to explain that my post may have been mis-read.

 

http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=92890#post92890

 

"Your twisting what I said and just throwing in "drug addicts who are "forced" into the industry" into your comment (this is called adding weight to your argument - this is exactly what the media does.. what you are doing to me right now)."

 

NEVER did I or would I EVER say that about your opinions, I was simply commenting on how happy I was about the rights group that encouraged positive and less forced opinions of the general public about sex-work when I said "I'm in agrement with Auralie that having sat in on a couple sex-workers' rights meetings and hear everyone give a cheer to the positive side of the industry...women working by choice, not by the media's portrayal of high-school drop outs and drug addicts who are "forced" into the industry"

 

never have I claimed you stood behind the media's drug addicted portrayal of the industry! Only that certain stereotypes should not be regarded as a "norm" for all the ladies here, those stereotypes that we are all flung into this business because we all have very little life experience or dropped out of high school generally will hit a sour note with any SP as we've seen already from a few replies, I'm not sure why my opinion is being the first to be discredited.

 

bringing me to the next part:

 

and comments like "those are the handfull of girls on here.....not the proper ones" Are you kidding me? Someone needs to take your high horse away the arrogance is too much. The new ladies just need to learn how the business works. They should be just as welcome as you are.

 

where did I ever say they weren't? or that me and other ladies were "above it all"? believe me I'm extremely humble in my profession and those who have seen me know so. I am only here to keep on learning and to help those that I might have a tidbit about my experiences to give.....but that doesnt make me above anyone...SP OR client! If you as mod are willing to give out an opinion be also prepared to receive another's (something that is encouraged as we are all learning from one another... a discussion board. I never said your opinion was wrong, just that your statement was "bold")....and sometimes realize that people are also looking out for YOU too. I regret not making my initial contact a PM, I did not mean to try to embarrass you or call you out on anything or make you feel attacked. If i did so then I really am sorry.

 

Cerb is awesome, if anything me saying that this site hosts many wonderful educated ladies and that places such as CL could learn from it is a COMPLIMENT! why discredit your own site and the ladies in it? should I "get real" and be prepared that clients may potentially lower their expectations?

 

"The new ladies just need to learn how the business works. They should be just as welcome as you are. I am sure you did not start in this business knowing everything... like everything it has a learning curve and yes, cerb is a place to HELP them learn and HELP them not make mistakes like this. If you are too "proper" to help the new ladies that is your choice but it's not a supportive choice and that comment makes you look bad."

 

I'm in COMPLETE agreement that new ladies need to learn how this industry works. As I was not a pro at first and reeived many great pointers in the beginning.... but telling the client that bad industry is to be expected due to where some of us come from doesn't help that learning curve. If anything it may even stunt it or make excusable. Lowering a client's expectations due to pointing out that "a lot of ladies turn to this business not because they LOVE the BUSINESS but because they have very little choice!" does not help sometimes, just like the collegue that shows up late everyday is generally not given any more slack because hes younger than the rest of the employees.

 

I'm trying to help here, not put anyone down (be it SPs clients or Mod), and I am truly sorry that this has been taken the wrong way, mod. Hopefully we can all work together and see everyone's side of things and realize that we are all trying to look out for each other, AND this site, AND you. If this thread gets me booted (as you've asked me to express my opinion maturely [which I felt I did before and am making absolute sure I do so now] or leave the site altogether) then so be it, but I have no wish to leave anytime soon so hopefully this apology to you through the members on the board here and in PMs has been enough

 

Annessa

[Guest s******ecan****]

I couldn't imagine Cerb without Annessa!

[Winnipegcub 21293]

An example of how email/text boards are not always the best means of communication.

 

Much is being taken out of context and I hope for everyone's benefit we can accept what's happened, been said, and move on as professionals.

 

I couldn't imagine Cerb without Anessa!

[Cara Silver 32413]

Annessa, I'm not sure why your post was dissected so aggressively or why the thread was closed so suddenly. I too was concerned about how us girls were being underestimated as intelligent and capable human beings.

 

It was my understanding when I joined cerb that the mod was there to moderate, objectively. I didn't realize that 'moderate' meant 'shut down a thread once he'd had the last word.' Cerb is a democracy, no? Everyone can weigh in, everyone can air their point of view. I felt Annessa was defending SPs in an articulate and confident manner (albeit with a few odd word choices.)

 

Isn't cerb a place where SPs can stand up and say their piece? Annessa was only articulating what all of us women feel about our jobs and our worth as human beings. We are strong, courageous, generous women. This is the hardest job in the world and we are capable of doing it well. Is this not worth a celebration? Is this not worth defending? Is this not worth more than a swift shut down of the cerb thread in which we are stating our worth?

 

I feel saddened by the mod's actions. I felt the cerb ladies were doing a great job speaking up for themselves (and finally we have found a great place in which we are NOT silenced, NOT stifled, NOT attacked.) And now what? We are silenced.

 

I really thought hard about posting this protest. I didn't know if I'd get the same angry response given to Annessa, or if I'd be banned.

But fuck, I'm tired of being told to shut up.

[buggernot 588]

I think there have been 2 overreactions to this, one by each party. I have not gone back to review everything that was said, but I saw no problem in the initial post by the mod that drew the criticism. There were some points made about the reality of many women that enter in to this world, and in no way did that appear to be a blanket statement or even meant to be derogatory to the ones being referred to - it was simple truth. Perhaps there was a quote I missed somewhere, but the mod has typically been a very credible and knowledgable advocate for sex workers in general...

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