We have a name...

[Emma Alexandra 123368]

Ladies and Gentlemen, i know i am not the only one here that hates this but i feel after receiving several letters and text and Pm's that something needs to be said....please please don't call me Hun...i hate it ...we all have a name and unless you know us already please call us by our name...please it's just so much more respectful and i know for sure your talking to me...thanks

Emma A

[c***y 181]

Emma i hope i have never done this and if i ever do you can slap me. :oops:

[capitalman 3861]

It's funny 'cause sometimes at a Tim Horton's drive-thru or something similar, I'll get called "Dear" and I kinda like it. It brings me back in time, to a time when people didn't just want stuff from you....when I was a kid and there were lots of Aunts and Uncles around and life was fun.

 

But I can see how "Hon" would be annoying...

[Emma Alexandra 123368]

Emma i hope i have never done this and if i ever do you can slap me. :oops:

 

I know you Casey so it's not as bad...lol..besides if you said something i didn't like i would just tease you more the next time i see you....hehe

[Emma Alexandra 123368]

It's funny 'cause sometimes at a Tim Horton's drive-thru or something similar, I'll get called "Dear" and I kinda like it. It brings me back in time, to a time when people didn't just want stuff from you....when I was a kid and there were lots of Aunts and Uncles around and life was fun.

 

But I can see how "Hon" would be annoying...

 

haha dear just reminds me of Cape Breton...lmao...and old people...and people you have to listen to...lol..."yes dear,no dear..

[daddio 2704]

Spoken like a true GFE companion Emma. And you are a true GFE companion.

 

Even when I know you already, as I do, although it's been a while since I saw you, I think it is indeed a matter of showing respect to address you by your name. Perhaps in the body of the text, or when signing off, it might be OK to use "Hun" (e.g. looking forward to seeing you Hun) but I'm not sure if even then I would do that.

 

The world would be lot better with the small courtesies to each other.

[etasman2000 15994]

haha dear just reminds me of Cape Breton...lmao...and old people...and people you have to listen to...lol..."yes dear,no dear..

 

Yes me ducky

[Guest W***ledi*Time]

Ladies and Gentlemen, i know i am not the only one here that hates this but i feel after receiving several letters and text and Pm's that something needs to be said....please please don't call me Hun...i hate it ...we all have a name and unless you know us already please call us by our name...please it's just so much more respectful and i know for sure your talking to me...thanks

Emma A

 

Yes yes yes! Often ladies don't bother with the niceties of names, either. Typical conversation (names have been changed to protect the innocent):

John: "Hi

Jane

, it's John. I would really like to get together again,

Jane

."

Jane: "Sure,

hun

" ...

John: "Thank you,

Jane

, I am looking forward to it"

Jane: "See you then,

sweetie

".

Many ladies seem to have this taboo against uttering your name. Personally, I always feel like the experience is enhanced when I am acknowledged by name, instead of always by an anonymous impersonal placeholder like "hun" or "sweetie". (I'm not talking about the lady having to pass a diabolical pop-quiz on names during the heat of action itself, but, rather, during the friendly chit-chat).

 

Names carry a powerful emotional charge. I like 'em.

[VedaSloan 119179]

Pet names should be reserved for people you have been intimate with over a long period of time.

 

When clients call me "hun" or "sweetie" I sometimes want to smack them. I am not your "hun" or "sweetie," that is what my dad calls me. It just comes across as somewhat condescending to me.

[cat 262460]

You are right Miss Emma!

 

I often receive emails that are not addressed to me, I just happen to receive it. I know that many other SP's got the same email. It feels like they are trying to be too familiar and it is often a trait carried by predators. There may be a handful that use it innocently and are trying to warm things up, but for the most part it is a good indicator that SP's watch for.

 

If there is baby, doll, or some other term of endearment; it sends up red flags to me and I do not respond with the same attitude. It puts the hair up on the back of my neck and often I suddenly I remember that I have to clean my fridge at the exact same time when the guest wants the visit. I feel it indicates a lack of respect and a lackadaisical outlook towards the time we will spend together. I value time shared and I want my guests to share that outlook to some degree.

I'm glad you put this out there....

 

Cat

[Emma Alexandra 123368]

Pet names should be reserved for people you have been intimate with over a long period of time.

 

When clients call me "hun" or "sweetie" I sometimes want to smack them. I am not your "hun" or "sweetie," that is what my dad calls me. It just comes across as somewhat condescending to me.

 

Excatly...

[Guest s******ecan****]

It's funny 'cause sometimes at a Tim Horton's drive-thru or something similar, I'll get called "Dear" and I kinda like it. It brings me back in time, to a time when people didn't just want stuff from you....when I was a kid and there were lots of Aunts and Uncles around and life was fun.

 

But I can see how "Hon" would be annoying...

 

LOL this still happens to me even though I've got the "salt n peppa" thing going on with my goatee. I must admit I like it but I can relate to what Emma is saying in this thread.

[Annessa 22743]

I dopnt see it as such a bad thing to call my clients sweetie, but then again this is when I have some sort of relationship I've earned with them

 

clients who send out first-time emails with an SP hoping to connect should know that addressing us as "hey baby" in a first attempt at connecting is going to sway their chances in a negative way

 

also many of us have received copy-and-paste emails that are all started with something like baby. sweetie, sexy, etc.... because the client couldnt take the time to write a personalized email to each SP he was trying to reach

[redmachine 1916]

I know I tend to over use the word sweetie but never use the word hun.I always start any pm or email using the sp/ep name. I tend to use the word sweetie more in verbal exchanges something like "thanks sweetie that was great".

[buggernot 588]

If you're contacting someone for the first time, nicknames are not appropriate. Yeah it's harmless and can be perceived as sweet, but you never know how it will be taken.

 

I have this love/hate relationship with girls calling me "love". Like, "I can do that for you, love" or "Yes, love". On the one hand it reminds me of my English roots and gets me nostalgic, on the other it makes me think that hey, I don't know you that well for you to be calling me that since it isn't so common to hear. But again, it's still harmless so no big deal...

[PistolPete 61421]

Ladies and Gentlemen, i know i am not the only one here that hates this but i feel after receiving several letters and text and Pm's that something needs to be said....please please don't call me Hun...i hate it ...we all have a name and unless you know us already please call us by our name...please it's just so much more respectful and i know for sure your talking to me...thanks

Emma A

 

Sorry Hun, did not mean it..lol..... okay just kidding

 

I did not send her any text's,pm's lately to Emma

 

Just checked my sent pm's,

 

I have used.."gorgeous" "babe" and "sweetheart" and of course their names at the start of my message, but ended with gorgeous,babe,sweetheart. My bad.

 

 

Sorry:D

[cat 262460]

After I have met someone and we have a rapport, I enjoy pet names. I think this thread is specific to intro emails. Another thing, more than one word is appreciated. I am amazed that guests think that they will get a response to "Available?" I answer back "No" even if I am sitting there eating cookies, in bed alone! I am the most babbling babe and I like a substance in my guests emails. Simple introduction is all that's necessary like "Hi, my name is John and I was wondering if you are around?" will suffice. Just a little fyi...

 

Cat

[PistolPete 61421]

After I have met someone and we have a rapport, I enjoy pet names. I think this thread is specific to intro emails. Another thing, more than one word is appreciated. I am amazed that guests think that they will get a response to "Available?" I answer back "No" even if I am sitting there eating cookies, in bed alone! I am the most babbling babe and I like a substance in my guests emails. Simple introduction is all that's necessary like "Hi, my name is John and I was wondering if you are around?" will suffice. Just a little fyi...

 

Cat

 

I agree 100% Catherine my "dear" My first line is always an introduction of some sort, say something like .....Hi it is Pete sending you a pm

 

" I have always been very intrigued by your beauty, your words in your threads,your pictures in your album, if you ever have some availability in the next couple of days please let me know and thanks gorgeous"

[Guest Ou**or**n]

As another hobbiest has already pointed out I have been called 'hun' by scores of SP's as a purely mechanical way of communicating and it has always been a huge turnoff. So yeah, I agree completely - I have a name.

 

Once a relationship is established then an SP using a nice nickname is aways fun (I'll be Annessa's sweetie any day) and do if often myself.

 

On the other hand to be fully honest I have a hard time addressing an SP by her professional name other than in the first couple of emails. Its not really her name - I know that and she knows that. Her 'real' name doesn't matter either - its about the chemistry and relationship we have during our time together. That's when the nicknames tend to come out.

[hermit 100]

my sp tends to call me "Hun" alot over the phone, but in person she uses my name its kinda sweet :) i can sympathize for her tho, she probably gets alot of calls and has a hard time pegging a voice to a face right off the bat even when i give her my name on the phone.

[Annessa 22743]

After I have met someone and we have a rapport, I enjoy pet names. I think this thread is specific to intro emails. Another thing, more than one word is appreciated. I am amazed that guests think that they will get a response to "Available?" I answer back "No" even if I am sitting there eating cookies, in bed alone! I am the most babbling babe and I like a substance in my guests emails. Simple introduction is all that's necessary like "Hi, my name is John and I was wondering if you are around?" will suffice. Just a little fyi...

 

Cat

 

amen. amen. amen :-)

[Apex2006 1071]

I agree with Emma! I know that when an AP calls me "hun" or "Sweaty" just sounds stupid! Even more when they are younger then I am. I can just imagine how annoying it must be for an SP especially when their names are posted right there!

I have even been called ?FB? by an SP before! Like come on, is it that hard to say ?French Bastard??

 

:p

 

Cheers Emma! lol

[Emma Alexandra 123368]

I agree with Emma! I know that when an AP calls me "hun" or "Sweaty" just sounds stupid! Even more when they are younger then I am. I can just imagine how annoying it must be for an SP especially when their names are posted right there!

I have even been called ?FB? by an SP before! Like come on, is it that hard to say ?French Bastard??

 

:p

 

Cheers Emma! lol

 

haha i'm the one that gave you that pet name...so i can call you fb if i want...lmao

[NotchJohnson 214123]

When writing to anybody for the first time I would never use a pet name or nickname, but after knowing a person for a long time to me is different. Just need to consider that as married man when making love to our wife and then making love to any sp's if we start to use your name and get confused with our SO, it will get us into much trouble.

 

This is why I always use the name "Oh baby your so wet" or "put it in your mouth babe" as an example.

[Guest s******ecan****]

By chance the first SP I ever approached responded to me with a flurries of "Hun"'s and "sweetie"s. Being new to the hobby I thought it was the way everyone communicated so I started addressing SP's the same way. Eventually when it came time to set up my first encounter I chose someone else who made it clear on her website that she was a cut above and wanted respect.

Needless to say I have never gone with the sweetie and hun stuff since except in conversation with some of the SP's I have seen.

 

Like so many things on CERB this seems to be another example of personal preference. Those terms don't bother me, I'd hate to think I turned off some of the SP's I approached earlier simply because I didn't know about way some SP's perceive it.

 

Now when I approach someone the first time I'm more formal but I suppose that could always be interpreted on the other end as something different.

 

I once saw an SP who was relieved upon meeting me in person that I wasn't unfriendly after all, as it seemed to her in one of my emails that I was a bit short or "mean". Honestly I couldn't imagine what she was referring to. Often my communications are brief and to the point but I'd always like to think they're polite.

 

I guess my larger point is email and PM conversations are not natural. Its elusive to get much of a sense of who you're dealing with and we should all be careful not to read too much into the use of certain words or make judgements.

 

In my business I have to make decisions and judgements on information presented to me on behalf of third parties. I always prefer talking to them in a phone call on certain points because its just too easy to be misunderstood in an email.

 

I guess I just get a little concerned when I hear people say they'd like to smack someone, or they wouldn't proceed any further, when a term like this is used because no where until this thread have I seen anything on etiquette that says "thou shalt not refer to an SP/client as sweetie or hun" If I'm wrong and this has been posted in the newbie section please feel free to pound me.

 

 

If individuals are going to have these sorts of standards and then use that standard to judge the suitability of that individual as a client then I think you need to be up front about your expectations some where on your website or profile.

 

Just sayin