You're here to cum but will you go?

[Guest realnicehat]

I was reading the most recent thread on retirement and considering the different (and sometimes surprising) attitudes towards this lifestyle.

 

One comment suggested that what some of us seek can only be bought, another implied that attached players are less moral than singles. There was discussion of when or if one might retire.

 

I've noticed that invariably, when a member makes a retirement announcement mixed among the well wishes will always be a "you'll be back" or the ever popular (and maybe clever the first 30 times it was posted) Eagles quote "you can check out any time you like but you can never leave".

 

All of this has me questioning how members (both male and female) view their participation in this industry. Men, do you expect to participate indefinitely or do you view it as a temporary situation? Ladies, is this a career or a means to an end?

 

The poll only has to choices, which I feel are broad enough describe the viewpoint of either sex. I'm looking forward to seeing which way things trend and am curious if there is another viewpoint I'm not considering? Should there have been a "I'd love to retire but I just can't quit" option?

 

Poll results are not public.

[MightyPen 67414]

Cool poll!

 

I think there's an option that slips through the cracks though, and has one foot in each of your two options: the guy who would like to retire in principle, but whose circumstances make it unlikely he ever will.

 

Best example is a married guy in an unhappy and sexless marriage who feels he will never leave (for whatever reason) and so will continue finding some joy and comfort with paid companions forever... but would in principle prefer to be working toward another goal and finding what he seeks in conventional relationships and then stick with that.

 

Which option does he choose? He won't be retiring, so a); but he'd like to in principle, so b).

 

So I guess "I love it and see no reason to retire" is overloaded with concepts. Not retiring may not have to do with unreservedly loving the "hobby", nor an inability to conceive of a reason to do so.

 

Lest you think this is autobiographical, I'm not married by the way. Just thinking out loud. :)

[Guest realnicehat]

I'm sure there are more than a few angles I've missed. Admittedly, in an effort to keep it clean and easy its is very over simplified.

 

I would have no issue with mod adding your suggestion to the poll should he see fit to do so.

[IsaMassage 54318]

Here is my 2 cents. ..

In every case is different. . I have met ladies that have make this a career and I respect them and I admire them... I have met some that are just passing by... and in this category a subdivision of them that take this profession serious while working and others that just see it

As an "easy" "fast" way of making money... to pay bills and get by..

 

in my particular case.. I am not here to stay forever. .. how much longer I will be around? That's not something I know the exact answer. .. it will happen but one thing is for sure... the day I say I retire as an MA will be be because the day has come... honestly I have seen lots of ladies making a big deal about their retirement and are back within weeks... I know sometimes things don't go as planned.. but when you retire 3 times in same year.. really makes you look unstable... that's why when that time comes.... in my case I want to make sure it will happen as planned. ..

[Guest *l**e]

as a provider, I will stay as long as I am capable. At some point I will be too old and the ladies will more to younger pastures. Or, if I get into a relationship, my SO may want me to stop and I will of course comply.

 

I'm sure when I do get too old to "provide", I will stay on as a hobbyist as I am a horny, horny man!! lol

[VedaSloan 119179]

As a provider, I need a way to vote for both options! I love this work and will probably always do it for as long as people will continue to pay me, but I also have goals that this work facilitates (eg getting a PhD).

[Guest realnicehat]

As a provider, I need a way to vote for both options! I love this work and will probably always do it for as long as people will continue to pay me, but I also have goals that this work facilitates (eg getting a PhD).

 

But if you have no intention of retiring when that goal is met shouldn't you only need option 1?

[Guest fi****ek]

I was reading the most recent thread on retirement and considering the different (and sometimes surprising) attitudes towards this lifestyle.

 

One comment suggested that what some of us seek can only be bought, another implied that attached players are less moral than singles. There was discussion of when or if one might retire.

 

I've noticed that invariably, when a member makes a retirement announcement mixed among the well wishes will always be a "you'll be back" or the ever popular (and maybe clever the first 30 times it was posted) Eagles quote "you can check out any time you like but you can never leave".

 

All of this has me questioning how members (both male and female) view their participation in this industry. Men, do you expect to participate indefinitely or do you view it as a temporary situation? Ladies, is this a career or a means to an end?

 

The poll only has to choices, which I feel are broad enough describe the viewpoint of either sex. I'm looking forward to seeing which way things trend and am curious if there is another viewpoint I'm not considering? Should there have been a "I'd love to retire but I just can't quit" option?

 

Poll results are not public.

 

The poll, if you want to call it that, simply flat out blows. Two choices? That's one choice away from being utterly meaningless.

 

I think you're being naive and simplistic. I'm here to cum is your assertion. Really? WTF do you know about why I'm here. I can honestly say, it isn't just about the sex, in fact, I think the sex isn't even the primary motivation.

 

You get to a certain point in your life when you need some form of validation. You need someone to confirm you have worth. Intellectually, in my head, I can come to those conclusions, but emotionally, its a different story.

 

I've always felt like an outsider, apart from other people, the sense of not belonging. I won't say or do things, just to be accepted. I simply don't know how. At the end of the day, I have to look at myself in the mirror and know, that I, at least, tried to do what I thought was the right thing. I don't know what the right thing is, I struggle with that each and every day.

 

I'd rather be alone fir the right reasons than be with someone for the wrong reasons. And so, for me, this is perhaps the life to which I was destined for. I don't know.

 

In truth, the last five to six years have been very hard, both emotionally and physically. I'm recovering, very slowly, but I realize that, approaching my 60th birthday, that time, is not on my side. Its not the sex that I miss, but the act of making love. How that fits in to the hobbyist mentality, I have no idea. I don't see myself as such, at any rate.

 

Touch has the power to heal, its not just about getting off.

[Brad 49548]

I think you're being naive and simplistic. I'm here to cum is your assertion. Really? WTF do you know about why I'm here. I can honestly say, it isn't just about the sex, in fact, I think the sex isn't even the primary motivation.

 

A moment there, filmgeek. I think it's pretty clear the OP was just using that as the thread title for the innocent pun. The poll choices being offered make no assertion whatsoever about what anyone's reasons are for being here. If the intent was to find out what a person's reason or goal was, two options probably wouldn't be enough, but if you read again you'll see that's not the purpose here.

 

Besides, if you've read Realnicehat's posts elsewhere you'll know that he in fact agrees with you that the experience can be about more than just the sex (not that someone who does have that as their goal need be judged either, as long as they are respectful).

[Guest realnicehat]

The poll, if you want to call it that, simply flat out blows. Two choices? That's one choice away from being utterly meaningless.

 

I think you're being naive and simplistic. I'm here to cum is your assertion. Really? WTF do you know about why I'm here. I can honestly say, it isn't just about the sex, in fact, I think the sex isn't even the primary motivation.

 

You get to a certain point in your life when you need some form of validation. You need someone to confirm you have worth. Intellectually, in my head, I can come to those conclusions, but emotionally, its a different story.

 

I've always felt like an outsider, apart from other people, the sense of not belonging. I won't say or do things, just to be accepted. I simply don't know how. At the end of the day, I have to look at myself in the mirror and know, that I, at least, tried to do what I thought was the right thing. I don't know what the right thing is, I struggle with that each and every day.

 

I'd rather be alone fir the right reasons than be with someone for the wrong reasons. And so, for me, this is perhaps the life to which I was destined for. I don't know.

 

In truth, the last five to six years have been very hard, both emotionally and physically. I'm recovering, very slowly, but I realize that, approaching my 60th birthday, that time, is not on my side. Its not the sex that I miss, but the act of making love. How that fits in to the hobbyist mentality, I have no idea. I don't see myself as such, at any rate.

 

Touch has the power to heal, its not just about getting off.

 

Filmgeek,

 

I'm sorry that you have had a hard time the last several years but I feel like you are totally overreacting to this thread.

 

Is the poll simplistic? Of course...see post 3, I've already admitted this. Is it worthless? Only mathematically and scientifically but what do you expect? It is a poll on a chat board. It is, however, giving me a bit of an idea where people's attitudes lay.

 

In regard to your anger over the play on words in my title please see here: http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=155718

 

Ps. Thanks Brad, for the kind words and thanks to everyone that has participated.

[CristyCurves 169032]

I so admire those who use this as a profession to achieve another goal-eg: Berlin attaining her phd. That is inspirational, admirable and commendable.

I on the other hand, lol, do this as a form of dating, supplying my need for some excitement, kink, in a sense. I don't need this to support myself or my lifestyle. However it does provide me with monies to support some of my favorite animal charities, so I guess to continue giving to them I would need the extra income from this:) I don't see myself retiring or stopping anytime soon, but life can throw us curves so one day at a time:)

[Guest webothscore]

filmgeek,

 

Please be curteous enough to read the thread below:

 

http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=532258#post532258

[mrgreen760 37785]

My participation has been for kicks and when the kicks are gone....so am I.

 

Peace

MG

[Miss Jessica Lee 43328]

I voted that I will do this for as long as I enjoy it. I really do have a lot of fun, meet some cool people, see some wonderful sights.

 

But it's more than that for me too.

 

I am not a good girlfriend, significant other, whatever. I have a serious issue with compromise, sharing, etc and that's why I live alone. But we all need companionship, we all need to feel needed, and we all need to feel worthwhile. That's why I enjoy it so much. It supplies me with all the companionship I need, I am completely fulfilled knowing I've made someone's day, week, or month a little happier, and I satisfy my need to be needed.

 

You guys are much more than clients to me. You...each and every one of you I've had the pleasure to meet.... are my significant others, even just for a few hours. Love you all xo

[Luscious.Tianna 12254]

I as well voted that I would do this for as long as I enjoy it

As a service provider I truly enjoy what I do and I don't see myself leaving this anytime soon

I love what I do and I love the people I see

[cat 262460]

This is my career. I didn't start out thinking it would be but it is the path that I have stayed on. I have had times where I left and explored what the rest of the world lives like and I have always chosen to return because I just don't fit in the square world and I'm good with that. It started out as a means to an end when I was 18 but when I returned years later, again as a means; the end was a very long way off so I put on my big girl panties and made a commitment to honour my responsibilities and I'm not yet there and still here. I now realize that even if I won the lottery tomorrow, I would still entertain. It justifies in my mind what I spend on lingerie, shoes, nails and scotch! Joking aside, like Jessica I am not a good monogamous SO and I recognize that. My work allows me to stay balanced and whole while taking care of those that I love...

 

cat

[Guest C*****tte]

I do this to support myself, but unless I were to receive an inheritance or win the lottery I do not see myself retiring anytime soon. I will do my best to stay happy and healthy so I can continue to do the good work, pay my bills, and save for my senior years.

 

I enjoy this work - especially in the way I do it now - low volume, mostly couples and very sensual encounters versus WBTYM. So I unless my situation changes I will continue to engage in it for many years to come.

 

I am already considered a mature provider to many so hopefully I can always find a suitable clientele who likes my physical and personality type. Not having a stable clientele and injury making it impossible to work are two of my fears.

 

Though like I said above if I were to become financially independent I would retire and focus on other actives such as more time with my family and expanding my volunteer work.

[Kathryn Bardot 99339]

As a provider, I need a way to vote for both options! I love this work and will probably always do it for as long as people will continue to pay me, but I also have goals that this work facilitates (eg getting a PhD).

Like Berlin, working as a provider is allowing me the ability to continue my education and work while studying without having to pull 40+ hour weeks on top of my classes (been there, done that, don't ever want to do that again). I have a goal in mind, but I also do not see myself magically leaving this business as soon as that goal is achieved. I enjoy providing companionship, and I could see myself continuing it past graduating and finding employment in my field of studies, albeit at a reduced availability.

I do think this poll needs more than two options, as it is not always black and white ;)

[Guest realnicehat]

I do think this poll needs more than two options, as it is not always black and white ;)

 

For my purpose it didn't :tongue:

 

And besides, if you look at the poll it's clearly blue & red.

[Guest *Ste***cque**]

I joined in 2011 and left in 2012 for a while, then came back. I left because I felt guilt. I am emotionally satisfied in my marriage and would prefer to have my sexual needs also met by my wife. That hasn't happened and until we can fix that I will continue to drift back here, for the time being anyway.

 

That's why I only seek sex on here. Truth be told, it isn't very satisfying though. Maybe it's because I resist the emotional connection in my encounters but anything more feels like cheating. It sounds contradictory but it makes sense for me.

 

To answer your poll, I am only here to have a need met and would be gone if I could get it at home. I don't regret my experiences though. I think they have helped me.

[Kathryn Bardot 99339]

For my purpose it didn't :tongue:

 

And besides, if you look at the poll it's clearly blue & red.

 

How do you know I'm not colourblind?

 

:butt:

[Wolf Knight 29667]

Truthfully, I can't say right now that I've explored this lifestyle if I'll ever really quit or leave it permanently. So many fallacies about this industry have been shattered and I've actually become more enlightened by my participation which seems to draw me further in. I'm sure that there will be life situations that will arise that will change the amount that I choose to participate, hell I could take a break for a few years at some point. However, I'm sure that I'll be back again. I've learned to "never say never" about anything. Right now I see my participation as something that brings me joy and excitement and as long as it continues to have that draw I'll be back.

 

In my short time so far I've been quite active perhaps even too active, I guess a kid in a candy store type thing. But I realize that over a brief period I've allowed myself to experience quite a lot and that voracious hunger that I once had has waned. Now I've moved to more of a picky eater that I only really want to partake if something really speaks to me from a physical, intellectual, or even experience wise stand point. I guess as long as there are new experiences to be had I'll be back but the breaks in between may become longer and longer and time goes on.

[Guest realnicehat]

How do you know I'm not colourblind?

 

:butt:

 

Because I've seen you with Cleo. If you were truly colourblind she'd be invisible to you ;)

[gc1968 2033]

Well, since I've never actually seen an SP I can't really answer your poll.

 

However, a while ago I mentioned in a post that I enjoyed coming to this forum because of the participation by the ladies and the insight I get into both the lifestyle and their personalities/motivations etc. The responses so far in this thread from the ladies has reinforced that again for me. I like reading that a lot of the SP's and MA's truly enjoy what they do, and that this lifestyle has/is affording them the freedoms to pursue the goals/lifestyles etc. that they want. It also speaks to how truly special these ladies are that they can be fulfilled knowing they are providing happiness to someone else. I hope you all can achieve what you are striving for.

 

Hopefully some day I will get a chance to meet some of you. (Won't be for a while due to geographical/financial reasons, but that's getting better) All I ask is that none of you retire until I can meet you ;)

 

p.s sorry this post may not make a lot of sense, I can't seem to find the right words for some reason

 

p.p.s. I also don't mean for this to be a suck-up type of post, it's just that for some reason the responses struck me, and I wanted to express that

[Guest realnicehat]

Hey gc,

 

While the poll was limited to providers and those who are seeing them your comments are most welcome. Thanks for you input.

 

RNH