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I've certainly been asked for recommendations, and have been more than happy to suggest a provider. I tend to only do this with people I know through CERB. In doing so, I always direct them to the lady's profile/ad/website and suggest they get in touch through the methods indicated in those locations.

 

My own preference is to get in touch via e-mail or pm, so that is what I tend to do. Even with ladies I know well, I rarely would phone. So I would never hand out a lady's phone number. Very poor protocol.

 

Porthos

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I definitely appreciate all the feedback from everyone, but in reading a lot of these replies, I'm noticing a lot of you believe this was another cerb member who's been texting me. Just to clarify....

 

It's not.

 

It's "just a friend" of a cerb member. A person who has no idea how to see an SP, someone who has never heard of cerb.

 

That's what made this twice as sketchy to me.

 

I would have expected the "culprit" to have run it by me first that he was giving a friend of his my number. At this point, I have blacklisted the texter until I hear from his alleged friend.

 

Thanks everyone!

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When I ask where did you see my ad? and I get the "my buddy gave me your info" I ask who is your buddy? 99% of the time they never reply back. While I do appreciate of word of mouth, I don't do secret agent BS.

 

If Ive met your Buddy so to speak and he told you contact me - I don't think he really cares that I know he sent you to me, however just cause I may or may not have met your buddy - the same booking policies apply to any new contacting me - so buddy or not Im still going to screen you.

 

This is my thought as well. If the buddy gave my number out (my # is in my ads, it isn't a secret), then the buddy shouldn't care that he gave the # to his friend and the friend is telling me who gave him my #. When the new caller won't tell me, it just lets me know that he is either lying or being pranked. I tell them they shouldn't rely on referrals, but choose an sp who is right for them, and that means looking at the ads and making the calls based on who suits them. I tell them their 'buddy' might be pranking them, because I am obviously not a younger or less restrictive sp, nor do I have really low rates, so he might be in for a surprise to find out more about me. It is always my opinion that the 'friend' is giving a number telling the guy its a hot young chick up for anything, and he finds out that I am not. pranked.

 

The others have seen the ad but they don't want to admit which ad site they saw, so they come up with the 'friend' excuse. Also they want you to sit there and tell them everything that was in the ad. They may be prank calling me, as well, again I think this because I am older and more massage oriented, so they can feign surprise at the age, or tell me that i sound 'hot'. yah, ok.

 

This not wanting to let me know what ad they saw is a common one, even for the guys not saying their buddy gave them my number. I have actually told many guys that I can't see them thru the computer, meaning that knowing what ad they saw won't tell me who they are or where they are or what they look like.

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Guest ***nno**n***

What a great thread and so important!

 

This has been the cause of a great deal of grief for me recently.

 

Someone not only gave out my number but my address to another person and this man just showed up at my home and insisted i see him immediately.

 

He then showed up repeatedly without permission or appointments.

 

So a fellow member thinking he was just "helping by referral" really caused a lot of trouble for me.

 

I would hope 99% of the gentlemen here would just refer someone to cerb and even the ladies webpage directly.

 

Personally i don't post my phone number or address and only give my number to those i have physically met myself.

 

If someone is going to refer someone to me i would rather hear from the person referring first and that way i have a choice in how this new person contacts me.

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I keep this whole part of my life private, but have once been contacted by a fellow cerb member asking about recommendation. Considering the fact that ymmv I simply highlight their personality or beauty. Keeping my encounter private I don't like to discuss what's happened in an encounter. As for direct contact after every encounter I delete all number, text and even gps/map search. If I write any info on paper that to is destroyed. My privacy is IMO is just as important so I do my best to ensure I leave no trace include parking meter stubs or on one occasion parking ticket lol!

I look up the info through their ad, why can't others do the same?

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Guest c**io**m7

When I began hobbying, there were two principles most important to me: discretion and privacy. As far as I am concerned, this goes both ways. Gents, we don't want unsolicited texts/calls and I always made it a mandatory to ask the lady if I could provide her info, if asked.

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It happens a lot! I get the impression that when a gentleman tells another they do think they are doing the sp a favor, not a malicious deed or spreading gossip. BUT like others have said ask first, our information is only for US-the owners- to share and to share where and with whom WE choose. Because a gent is a cerb member doesn't make him more trustworthy, reliable, discreet or more likely to follow the rules. There are good and bad clients on all sites:( Nor does an online friendship allow you to truly know anyone. So as i'ts been said ONLY pass on information AFTER you have been given permission to or simply write a reco, then everyone can see that this is a lady you think highly of and think others should experience:)

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What a great thread and so important!

 

This has been the cause of a great deal of grief for me recently.

 

Someone not only gave out my number but my address to another person and this man just showed up at my home and insisted i see him immediately.

 

He then showed up repeatedly without permission or appointments.

 

So a fellow member thinking he was just "helping by referral" really caused a lot of trouble for me.

 

I would hope 99% of the gentlemen here would just refer someone to cerb and even the ladies webpage directly.

 

Personally i don't post my phone number or address and only give my number to those i have physically met myself.

 

If someone is going to refer someone to me i would rather hear from the person referring first and that way i have a choice in how this new person contacts me.

 

 

Well said and I would hope that is the way most "gentlemen" would refer other intersted clients. But as they say there is always some that spoil it for the rest I think everyones privacy is important.

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I rely on the SP's I have met to keep any personal information about me confidential so I assume that this will only happen if I respect their boundaries. On occasion I have been contacted here on CERB with requests for information on ladies I have met... when I am contacted I normally contact the lady and tell them about the request and ask them what they would like me to pass along...if anything.

 

As for providing info to friends about SP's.

.. well to be honest none of my friends know about this aspect of my life.

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Guest Lu***ou***en
When I began hobbying, there were two principles most important to me: discretion and privacy. As far as I am concerned, this goes both ways. Gents, we don't want unsolicited texts/calls and I always made it a mandatory to ask the lady if I could provide her info, if asked.

 

I agree, it should be a 2 way street, with permission requested prior to disclosing information. Not only is that a courtesy, I think it comes down to basic consideration and respect for privacy, and the other person's boundaries/comfort level.

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This topic or a close variation of it, seems to come up regularly in one form or the other. Perhaps mod could consider that there should be a sticky on it in the General section. It almost seems like a motherhood thing but it sounds like even some experienced or lazy (or both) hobbyists aren't getting the message.

 

As a hobbyist, I'm slightly embarassed that this is still going on within our community and apologize to all our lovely SP's out there having to deal with it.

Edited by Gentleman11
spelling

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t4880.gif A good rule to follow is "Kiss and don't tell". That goes for both the Hobbyist and SP. I for one would not want to repeat with a lady if my buddy was also with her.

 

With the exception of a "bad date". Always try to work things out first if possible. That is a subject for another post/thread.

 

t4601.gift1565.gif

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