Is it a couples world

[CristyCurves 169032]

As a single unattached woman I've often heard throughout my single years, why aren't you married, why don't you have a boyfriend. Then comes the other question are you gay, lol. I guess if a girl is single some assume she might be gay?? I never understood that conclusion as gay men and women date, marry and couple. Anyway, it does appear that even today it's expected that we are all supposed to be coupled. Being single seems to leave the impression with some that the single person is somehow lost, not marriage material, incapable of finding a mate?? Whatever happened to choices, and that being single is a chosen position for many:)

[roamingguy 300292]

What's even worse is friends and acquaintances, and giving them benefit of the doubt here, always wanting to fix you up on blind dates. I don't know how many friend of a friend was deemed perfect for me, yet when we met, there was absolutely no chemistry. And she was as uncomfortable as I was, both of us glad the date over.

One positive of being a single man, makes me someone who can partake in this lifestyle guilt free :-)

Some of the most lonely people I know are those in unhappy relationships

And with a batting average of something like 54% divorce rate why are people such strong proponents of marriage for others. It may be right for some people, not everyone

A rambling

RG

[Guest a**4*]

As for me I am happy being single I make my own decisions I come and go as I please I have been in relationships it was not for me or it just not the right person for me.I enjoy the life style I live I get to meet beautiful ladies best conversations I ever had better connections,chemisty for that I am a lot happy now than I ever was I wish I had found this site a lot sooner as for what others think about me being single that is not there business this is my life and I will live it the way I want and not what others want I have better things to worry about and not what others think my two cents worth

[Mister T 45020]

As a single unattached woman I've often heard throughout my single years, why aren't you married, why don't you have a boyfriend. Then comes the other question are you gay, lol. I guess if a girl is single some assume she might be gay?? I never understood that conclusion as gay men and women date, marry and couple. Anyway, it does appear that even today it's expected that we are all supposed to be coupled. Being single seems to leave the impression with some that the single person is somehow lost, not marriage material, incapable of finding a mate?? Whatever happened to choices, and that being single is a chosen position for many:)

 

I have to agree; as a single guy (been single for years by choice) i've often had the same questions and remarks throughout my life - being asked if i was gay came up too lol. There is always a bit of surprise at first, then understanding, when i mention that one can be content in being single, free of attachment etc.

[CristyCurves 169032]

One positive of being a single man, makes me someone who can partake in this lifestyle guilt free :-)

 

RG

 

That's a interesting point and has me wondering if only singles hobbied and provided would the profession be more accepted? A rather conservative, very well educated woman I know made the point that the problem she has with service providers is that they provide for married men. That is her issue with the profession, as she stated, she could care less what others sell or do with their bodies. What bothers her is those who mingle with attached people. A bit silly perhaps, but something to ponder. As I do feel that in even the most conservative society's most don't care what we do sexually( between adults that is) it's who we do it with that is concerning to them .

[Guest N***he**Ont**y]

I get so tired of friends or family trying to set me up with their wife's or girlfriend's girlfriends. They never give up until I raise my voice admonishing them to back off because I am not interested. I work long hard hours in my job and its hard to keep the fire going in a relationship if you are away so much. I tried really hard to make my relationships work put failed miserably in my younger days. I think its the Sisu in me that makes me work to hard and not spend to much time and effort (emotional capital) on a relationship. I enjoy my single life and my adventures after dark. Just saying!

[roamingguy 300292]

That's a interesting point and has me wondering if only singles hobbied and provided would the profession be more accepted? A rather conservative, very well educated woman I know made the point that the problem she has with service providers is that they provide for married men. That is her issue with the profession, as she stated, she could care less what others sell or do with their bodies. What bothers her is those who mingle with attached people. A bit silly perhaps, but something to ponder. As I do feel that in even the most conservative society's most don't care what we do sexually( between adults that is) it's who we do it with that is concerning to them .

 

Professional companions aren't the issue, it isn't their marriage (sorry for terminology here, not judgement laden, everyone's marriage/relationship is unique) that they are having an affair on. If someone wants to be pointing fingers point fingers at the person who is stepping out. If professional companions were not available, then a married man would be having affairs with women who might want the man to leave his wife for her.

If he does leave his wife, she gets hurt. If he doesn't, then the women he is having an affair with gets hurt. Seeing a companion, it is no strings attached, and may, if done discretely, keep a husband with his wife, because he has his companionship needs met. Professional companions do not really, if you think of it, threaten a marriage.

As for being single, I know in all likelihood if I mentioned I see companions, probably someone would say "RG, I know a really nice girl for you"...yeah those pesky blind dates again. People would be surprised to know of the many nice girls I've met in this lifestyle, people just have to remember when it comes to sex, nice women and men do have sex. It's just instead of a promise of a ring and a relationship (those pesky strings again) the lady receives her donation

A rambling

RG

[Brad 49548]

I have a friend who dislikes chocolate. Yet I don't know how many times I offer him some, thinking I'm being nice. Because I like chocolate so much and everyone else I know likes chocolate so much, I can't get my head around the fact that he doesn't.

 

I've another friend who keeps trying to get me to watch various movies, promising each one is great and I'll surely love it. Yet each time I give in I invariably find them boring.

 

What I'm saying is I think when people have an idea of what makes them happy it can be very difficult for them to understand that the same things aren't what will make you happy. This becomes especially true when the thing in question is something that most of society considers desirable.

 

Being in a relationship is certainly one of those things that many people deeply want and consider key to their own happiness. So much of life is built around the idea that finding a partner is a key goal for life (consider how many movies and books have that as their plot!). Because of this--with the best of intentions--people will assume that everyone must share the same need to be in a relationship, and they'll either disbelieve or forget anything you say to the contrary. It happens because they care for you they want you to be happy, but unfortunately they confuse what makes them happy with what will make you happy.

[Guest webothscore]

Good discussion. Given that I can make the most out of both situations, I don't lean one way or the other. Both have massive pros and I know that capitalizing on the pros is more productive than spinning my wheels in the cons.

[MightyPen 67414]

Whatever happened to choices, and that being single is a chosen position for many:)

That, and not having children.

 

Many people cannot conceive of a life lived without marriage and especially without having kids. Many have never imagined that these things are choices, and treat them instead as unquestionable edicts.

 

And many who will inquire about their absence with an initial air of kindness soon turn to condescension ("Oh, you'll change your mind!" "It's different when its yours!"). Then if you continue to explain your position, they take offense, as though by being secure in your own choices you are denigrating theirs.

 

The world's full of all kinds of people. The most adult thing you can do in life is know yourself, and construct a life in accordance with your own nature. It's often harder than taking the better-traveled road, but I think it's much more rewarding to carve our your own.

[roamingguy 300292]

That, and not having children.

 

Many people cannot conceive of a life lived without marriage and especially without having kids. Many have never imagined that these things are choices, and treat them instead as unquestionable edicts.

 

And many who will inquire about their absence with an initial air of kindness soon turn to condescension ("Oh, you'll change your mind!" "It's different when its yours!"). Then if you continue to explain your position, they take offense, as though by being secure in your own choices you are denigrating theirs.

 

The world's full of all kinds of people. The most adult thing you can do in life is know yourself, and construct a life in accordance with your own nature. It's often harder than taking the better-traveled road, but I think it's much more rewarding to carve our your own.

 

Living without kids, well my autistic nephew, and I love him to death, but after two trips this past year in a carload filled with family, including him. Well lets just say I'm glad I have no kids...how my brother and his wife do it I don't know.

Not being married is right for me. And not having kids is right for me too

No regrets

RG

[loopie 15358]

I find the strangest thing is how people look at me like I'm the bravest human being alive for living my life inspite of being single. I go out all the time to movies, restaurants, concerts, and I travel alone. When I'm telling somebody about what I've been up to and they ask with whom I did these things, and I tell them I went by myself, the look really astonished. People I know will often state that they would be terrified to do those things alone.

 

I've been able to convince a colleague of mine (a divorced woman) that it is perfectly acceptable to go to the movies alone. She was so convinced that "everybody will stare" and "think you're weird". So now she goes to movies alone and enjoys it, and sounds quite impressed with herself.

 

The even stranger thing is, most of my relationships end because I feel it's my partner who is holding me back and I get frustrated with them. I always want to go out and do things, and whatever woman I am dating just wants to stay in all the time.

[Boomer 33202]

Single not by choice, my wife for 25 years died of cancer. Since that happened of course I have struggled with whether to find another committed relationship, and have decided to lead a single life, I have my children and am comfortably well off. But at times I must admit to bouts of loneliness, and maybe having that companion to share life would be beneficial. Participating in this hobby is obviously enjoyable but the hour always comes to an end.

[Frank7 3939]

That's a interesting point and has me wondering if only singles hobbied and provided would the profession be more accepted? A rather conservative, very well educated woman I know made the point that the problem she has with service providers is that they provide for married men. That is her issue with the profession, as she stated, she could care less what others sell or do with their bodies. What bothers her is those who mingle with attached people. A bit silly perhaps, but something to ponder. As I do feel that in even the most conservative society's most don't care what we do sexually( between adults that is) it's who we do it with that is concerning to them .

Even if a provider was against married hobbist, it would be hard to know for sure. If you talk about that with her again, i suggest making a link with other type of "sellers". The guy who sell liquor at the LCBO don't know if the client will drink and drive after the party.

 

 

 

As for the OP, i think it really depends on the "type" of single. Single as in no-string attached but still go on dates, have one night, etc. I think most people would be okay with you having that kind of life.

 

Most people tend to assume that single people are in the second category. Really single. No dates and no sex. It pretty hard to have a fullfilling life when it's the case. And there is people in that situation.

 

For the first kind, i think it's your world as much as for couple and you won't have problems being happy.

 

The second kind however, it's truely a world for couples. Every single movie, book, news seem to be talking about couples or sex. Whenever you go outside for a walk or do activities, you see couples. Or cute guy/girl that you'd like to date. It's almost impossible to not feel lonely in that situation.

[MightyPen 67414]

A rather conservative, very well educated woman I know made the point that the problem she has with service providers is that they provide for married men. That is her issue with the profession, as she stated, she could care less what others sell or do with their bodies. What bothers her is those who mingle with attached people.

This tells you that she values institutions over individuals. She doesn't care what "mere" individuals get up to, but once you mess with a marriage or a family -- NOW she's offended.

 

That's an old-fashioned view of things, in which (for example) a marriage is more important than the two people in it. Similar thinking makes people find a church more important than its parishioners, and loyalty to your country more important than questioning your government.

 

Everyone needs something to believe in and value I guess -- she's picked some handed-down institutions. The structures over the people in them. *shrug* I can never get my head around that, but at least now you've learned something about your friend.

[qwertyaccount 15793]

As a single unattached woman I've often heard throughout my single years, why aren't you married, why don't you have a boyfriend. Then comes the other question are you gay, lol. I guess if a girl is single some assume she might be gay?? I never understood that conclusion as gay men and women date, marry and couple. Anyway, it does appear that even today it's expected that we are all supposed to be coupled. Being single seems to leave the impression with some that the single person is somehow lost, not marriage material, incapable of finding a mate?? Whatever happened to choices, and that being single is a chosen position for many:)

 

Being single, never married and with no kids I surely don't fit the "standard" that most think exists. My father has even asked on a few occasions if I was gay.

 

Several of my married with children guy friends say that they are jealous. The balance of my guy/gal friends are silent on the issue or think I should marry and have kids. Look how happy Al and Peggy are:

 

At first I thought misery loves company, but decided long ago that no friend would knowingly wish misery on me.

 

I then concluded that people like for others to be just like them, one-upmanship and "keeping up with the Joneses":

-If someone replaced their 34" tube TV with a flat screen, you should too

-If someone has a 60" big screen TV, you should too

-If someone is married, you should be too

-If someone belongs to the iCult, you should buy apple stuff too even though there are many better, less expensive no strings attached alternatives.

-If someone drives a Toyota, you should too

-If someone drives a pick-up, you should too

-If someone has 3 kids, you should too

-If your big sister has 3 kids, you should have 4

 

Society also seems to expect the following cycle:

-Going to college

-Getting married

-Buying a home

-Having kids

-Sending your kids to college

-Paying for your kid's weddings

-Giving your kids money to buy a home

-Babysitting your grandchildren

-scrimping & saving in retirement, not spending money & enjoying life, so you have more money to leave your kids and grandchildren.

 

I'm happy the way I am, doing my own thing on my own terms and enjoy coming home to a place where everything is exactly the same as I left it.

 

I can't count the number of times I've asked for the return of tool that I lent a friend only to hear "My wife/kids put it away and no one knows where it is". Off to the hardware store I go again.

[olderguy 5797]

Once upon a time, one would never be promoted in the corporate world unless they were married. I not sure if it was a "misery likes company" or if a married person was seen as more stable. However, as time as marched on, I think this has changed which is a good thing. Mostly I think because of the divorce rate - sometimes now looking around the office it's tough to find a married person.

[Guest realnicehat]

A long, long time ago, I stopped in to my high school to pick up my final transcripts. While there, I ran in to my grade 10 history teacher who asked what I was doing "next year". When I told him my plan was to attend university he asked "why?". I was totally confused and asked what he meant. He replied "Why university. Why not college? Or Travel? Or work for a year? Why?". I had no real answer other than "Um, it's what I'm supposed to do, isn't it?".

 

It didn't really sink in at the time but eventually I did realize that that day he taught me more in one conversation than he ever did in history class.

 

When people tell me I should be in a relationship I ask them why. When they tell me I should have children, again I ask why. It puzzles them so much that they ignore the question and keep pushing.

 

I'm not sure what makes me different, perhaps I'm missing the mating gene, but I realized a long time ago that I have no deep seeded instinct to reproduce. The world will be well populated without my offspring. And while I do enjoy what a steady relationship can offer I've never had much drive to pursue them. Those I have enjoyed the most have always been stumbled upon.

 

The only thing that I know for sure is that I will take solitude tinged with occasional loneliness over a bad relationship any day. I enjoy my life and the freedom it offers. Sure, it's not for everyone, but I don't try to convince them otherwise. They may have chosen to drink society's Kool aid but I'm going to stick with my scotch and red wine :)

[Guest webothscore]

 

I realized a long time ago that I have no deep seeded instinct to reproduce

 

Praise the Lord! Is it Christmas already? The best gift you can give us is not giving more of yourself ;)

[toklat77 4616]

It's basically a life style choice to remain single and there are a lot of benefits to it as well. CBC's The Doc Zone had a show on this very topic and that being "single" may be the new norm for Western Society in the near future. Maybe, generations coming up after us will feel they don't need to be in a couple as they can have all of their needs met without being in one? i don't know, but there are advantages to both being single and in a relationship and I do know that there would be worse things in life than waking up beside a lovely woman such as Christy Curves!