Providers and Professional Distance.

[Guest realnicehat]

I can be attached, without crossing professional boundaries, or at least privacy boundaries. I don't think the two things are incompatible. I worry about the ones who think they have to cross their privacy boundary or who do provide too much personal information about themselves. It is easy to connect with people without forgetting that real names, birthplace, and family names/pics, and hanging out and going places, having lunches, dinners, etc etc, these things are not necessary in order to keep good clients. I worry that some sps feel that doing these things become 'normal' for the client, to the point that they find fault with the sps who do maintain their distance. Maintaining the distance is the norm, anything more than that was either a gift or folly on the part of the sp. I say 'folly' because more than once, sps have regretted how much some clients know or found about about them. Some sps allow clients to remain clients out of fear of retaliation, when they would prefer to have fired them. This is the folly of providing too much.

 

I don't mind if someone knows I like action movies and lattes, but there is no reason for anyone to know my real name or other personal details about myself in order for us to have a mutually beneficial and rewarding relationship.

[Kathryn Bardot 99339]

I find attachments can naturally form, given the intimate nature of encounters. As fortunateone said, that doesn't necessarily mean crossing professional or personal boundaries. This industry doesn't have any sort of hard regulations, all we can do is know what works for us and work within the boundaries we feel comfortable with.

I appreciate emails keeping in touch, but at the same time I do find it difficult to continue seeing someone when they are continually pushing that boundary (for example, asking me my real name repeatedly, when I have already said no. I don't find it cute, it's not playful, and it makes the session very difficult as I find I am more on guard). But yes, there are some mutual attachments that form within this industry, and I think that as long as both individuals are on the same page regarding their expectations, that is not necessarily a bad thing.

[Guest realnicehat]

Thanks for the replies ladies. And thank you to someone who responded via PM today.

 

The following excerpts are used with her permission:

 

"What an impossible question to answer! There is no set way, it depends on the person.

 

Recently I developed a bit of a crush on a man I'd seen, and told him so. He came over to see me, and I realized my mistake. I had a crush on him when he came to see me as a client... but him coming in to see me as a date... big difference.

 

So I'm back to my original stance of 'don't cross those boundaries'. I've done it a few times, and now, besides some chatting/flirting, I keep it separate. I think it's too messy otherwise.

 

You're welcome to copy parts of this response into the thread if you'd like, just take out any identifying factors please."