Inside the world of a male sex worker

[Sweet Emily J 172062]

Inside the world of a male sex worker: 'I don't have clients hiring me just to hold their hand'

 

http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/relationships/inside-the-world-of-a-male-sex-worker-i-dont-have-clients-hiring-me-just-to-hold-their-hand/story-fnet0gt3-1226759825890

 

HE KNOWS what women want and what their husbands can't deliver.

 

John Oh, a straight male sex worker, knows his clients' deepest, darkest secrets too.

"You hear the things friends will hear," he said. Friends - with benefits.

 

It's fair to say the life of a male escort is very different to a traditional street worker. It involves "plenty of hand-holding", companionship and affection, Mr Oh, a part-time IT worker, told news.com.au. Sometimes there's dinner, and for other clients a night at the opera or a casual tandem motorbike date.

 

The dates tend to last for at least two hours if there's no sleepover. But it's always about the main game - sex - which involves plenty of foreplay.

 

"I don't have clients hiring me just to hold my hand," he told news.com.au.

 

John, 41, is a rare breed - a member of the 'world's oldest profession' who only specialises in women. But according to one of the world's foremost researchers into the subject we may see more of them in the coming years.

 

"Most of the research is that most male sex workers are gay or bisexual, but more male sex workers are servicing female clients now," said Professor John Scott, an editor of the forthcoming research tome Male Sex Work and Society in an exclusive interview.

 

But who hires a male sex worker? As an adult industry source pointed out to news.com.au there's often a perception that "women can usually get it for free".

 

WHAT WOMEN REALLY WANT

They can be housewives, they can be professionals. They can be 18 or they can be 60.

Mr Oh's five to six long-term clients, who he may see once or twice a week, are almost always in relationships and plan to stay in them.

 

Often there's just one big problem at home - the intimacy. "They need that level of (physical) fulfilment, that one little aspect - but they need it fulfilled."

 

"I'm a solution that keeps them in a relationship," he said.

 

All his clients really want is simple. "The vast majority of women just want good plain sex ... They're not interested in swinging from the chandeliers and stuff like that," he said. There are no bells or whistles.

 

"What they want is a man who pays attention to them: their well-being and their needs.

 

"Hopefully gives them an orgasm because that's something they miss with a partner or have never had with a partner.

 

"So normal sex, maybe a massage is the answer, and lots of oral sex. And at the end, or hopefully multiple times, maybe an orgasm."

 

His more occasional clients are different. They're often on the rebound. "(They) are looking for someone to show them that all men aren't bastards," he said.

 

He says they want to feel that 'spark' again and regain much-needed sexual confidence after a long, broken and often emotionally-broken relationship.

 

In his promotional material, he assures prospective clients he is a normal bloke who likes gardening and is happy to jump on Skype or assuage their fears on the phone.

 

Sometimes, he even cooks his clients dinner.

 

"My customers are looking for someone who they can connect with and feel comfortable with because most of them are vulnerable in some way."

 

"They're not happy just going to an agency and dealing with someone at the end of the telephone. They want to be able to talk to me and get to know me."

 

One "particularly fun group" of clients are virgins, who often range from the ages of 18 to 30s. He promises them a "special" overnight experience.

 

"A really serious issue for men and women when they get past their early 20s if they haven't lost their virginity it starts to affect their life very seriously," he said.

 

A SEX WORKER'S (LOVE) LIFE

John fell into the "best job he's ever had" completely by accident - he was asked to perform a striptease for a hen's night at the pub in 1998 when a stripper did not turn up.

 

From there, it was mostly just a hobby for the IT worker and a supplement to his income. It was the Global Financial Crisis that led him to make the critical economic decision to jump ship.

 

He enjoys his job and enjoys the opportunity to emotionally 'click' with people. But it can be taxing.

 

He prefers to only see four or five clients a week so he can provide a quality service for several hundred dollars an hour. And some of his clients have become too emotionally invested.

 

"It's really hard and and really difficult to deal with, but for their benefit it has to end."

 

And despite the negative perception of sex work in the community, he is pleased with the work he does, which sometimes includes clients with disabilities.

 

"I've found that what I do provides real value to women who are missing intimacy in their lives.

In the end, what the world really needs is more "healthy, productive relationships", he said.

 

Oh and Mr Oh is in a long-term relationship. She has been very supportive of his career choice.

[Guest c**io**m7]

Your posts are always interesting Emily. Hmmmm...he also has an IT job...just like me. I wonder, is there a market here in Ottawa??? Lol

[6dave9 4008]

Interesting article..

I still find it curious that women needs to seek the services of male SP.

In the article, " But who hires a male sex worker? As an adult industry source pointed out to news.com.au there's often a perception that "women can usually get it for free".

By-and-large, I think this still the case. Its a supply and demand scenario..

Women have the supply, men have the demand.. ( although I am not saying women don't have any desires..)

If a women wishes a NSA relationship.. she can find it, easily...

The caveat here is emotions and feelings can grow and one or both can suffer a heartbreak.. hence the male SP comes into play (no pun intended...)

My 2c worth

Thanks

[spud271 47779]

Interesting article..

I still find it curious that women needs to seek the services of male SP.

In the article, " But who hires a male sex worker? As an adult industry source pointed out to news.com.au there's often a perception that "women can usually get it for free".

By-and-large, I think this still the case. Its a supply and demand scenario..

Women have the supply, men have the demand.. ( although I am not saying women don't have any desires..)

If a women wishes a NSA relationship.. she can find it, easily...

The caveat here is emotions and feelings can grow and one or both can suffer a heartbreak.. hence the male SP comes into play (no pun intended...)

My 2c worth

Thanks

 

Actually you would be very surprised. In Europe it is very common for young female business professionals who do not have time to date hire male escorts. I had about 20 regular clients when I worked, and they weren't very old. My youngest client was 27 and very attractive. They were generally well off and just looking for convenience...and a spectacular shag of course! ;)

[6dave9 4008]

Thanks for sharing your memories Spud271, I can say that I am somewhat envious of your life experiences, ... ;-)..

I do surely do not dispute the role and need for male SP's out there to address women's needs.

What puzzles me a touch, is that there are so many frustrated men out there, single or attached, that are actively searching for a NSA connections. You dont have to look very hard to find one..

Granted, not all of these men (I will include myself here ) are GQ cover magazine material, nor have pornstar attributes...(take that any way you wish... lol).

Essentially, what i am trying to say is that women are in the driver's seat here, they have the burden of choice, but I can understand it may all about convenience as you stated.

[Meaghan McLeod 179664]

Its like the old adage - we can be "friends with benefits", but I want to be your only "friend". There are so many guys that seem to think that women would be happy with one guy, but in truth, some women like variety too. So, a NSA relationship doesn't always work, because he expects her to call him each time she is wanting some nookie. I know of someone who said this to a girl he hooked up with "I can be your fuck buddy", but she wasn't interested in seeing him again. Not that he wasn't "good necessarily at fucking", but that she wants to experience other men in a true NSA environment.

 

So, I totally understand why some women would hire a male sp.

[6dave9 4008]

Thank-you Meaghan, for a ladies perspective. Makes total sense...

That's what I like about this community, for me, its refreshingly mind expanding..!

[Sweet Emily J 172062]

Interesting article..

I still find it curious that women needs to seek the services of male SP.

In the article, " But who hires a male sex worker? As an adult industry source pointed out to news.com.au there's often a perception that "women can usually get it for free".

By-and-large, I think this still the case. Its a supply and demand scenario..

Women have the supply, men have the demand.. ( although I am not saying women don't have any desires..)

If a women wishes a NSA relationship.. she can find it, easily...

The caveat here is emotions and feelings can grow and one or both can suffer a heartbreak.. hence the male SP comes into play (no pun intended...)

My 2c worth

Thanks

 

It's also probably a mis-match of needs and wants in the "singles marketplace".

 

When a woman is paying for a service, she knows what she is getting: a professional who will make her feel special and beautiful, and make her the centre of attention. Male escorts are usually very cultured, can offer good conversations, and of course highly skilled in the bedroom. They're usually above average in their appearance too, and of course will have impeccable hygiene and style. They will give their clients whatever they want and desire, take them wherever they want to go, without complaint. They will eat their client's pussy (with skill) for two hours straight and expect nothing in return. They are not just some random joe-schmoe you'd find on POF or a bar where you don't know what you'll be getting.

 

There's also some of the same reasons why men seek escorts: discretion and privacy. Many women seeking services are married and need to be sure that it's strictly a professional relationship where boundaries will be respected and personal feelings won't come into play. Or maybe she is a well-known figure within the community and needs a high-level of privacy in her sex life.

 

I have plenty of gentleman clients who I have no doubt could easily "get it for free" as you put it, but choose professional escorts for these same reasons. Even though some people don't think that escorting is a true profession, it is, and a professional paid companion is not going to offer the same experience as a random lady you'd find online or at a bar. When one is being paid for their time, there is different expectations and it's all about "the client", female or male.

 

This reminds me of when I first posted my recommendation of Il Re, CERB's favourite male MA. After that, I got an onslaught of random dudes sending me messages about "why did you PAY? I could give you a massage for FREE!". Great. The thing is.. they are not professionals and can't offer me the same thing as Il Re. The quality of massage certainly wouldn't match. Plus he will do anything I ask him, and I can be the centre of attention for a bit, relax, and offer nothing but payment in return.

 

He will come over when I ask him to, do what I want him to and then leave me alone. He won't brag to his buddies about it, he won't tell my friends the freaky shit I did, he won't text me incessantly the next day asking when I want to hang out again or show up at my place unexpectedly. A successful professional in this business needs to have a certain personality, presentation, appearance, and overall presence. These are real benefits that come with a professional. A non-pro might say "ya! i can do that too!", and maybe some can, but just as any other service industry, getting an amateur to do it for free is simply not the same as hiring a professional.

[6dave9 4008]

Hi Emily, thanks for your insight, I totally get it now...!!, and I can understand everything you've said

(other than the 'get if for free' reference - it came from the article) and you are making me realize something,

I was coming at this from a slightly different angle..

You made it very clear to me that this is about a service that is being purchased,

as opposed to a friends with benefits arrangement. That's where the fundamental difference lies.

I realize now I foolishly blurred those 2 lines...

I will certainly admit that FWB can be very complicated where privacy/agreements and boundary can be easily be crossed and subsequently, all hell breaks loose in the live of the parties concerned. Indeed there there are a lot less risks when partaking in the world of professional SPs, as you said 'There's also some of the same reasons why men seek escorts: discretion and privacy.'

Which is not guaranteed with FWB/NSA relationships.

[Guest Miss Jane TG]

I have yet to see a straight male sex worker who succeeded making a living out of escorting. The issue here is making a living.

 

There is no doubt that some straight male sex workers could find some clients here and there but could they make a living out of it. I am not aware and would be delighted to know.

 

Female and transsexual escorts could potentially make a living out of it. There are living examples of transsexuals who actually made a fortune out of it within 5-year span. And by a fortune I mean seven figures numbers. An "average" successful TS provider in a metropolitan city could make anywhere between 150 - 300 K/year.

 

The driving power for this business are two things: money and testosterone and men got the majority of both of them, especially the latter;)

[LeeRichards 177238]

I have yet to see a straight male sex worker who succeeded making a living out of escorting. The issue here is making a living.

 

There is no doubt that some straight male sex workers could find some clients here and there but could they make a living out of it. I am not aware and would be delighted to know.

 

Female and transsexual escorts could potentially make a living out of it. There are living examples of transsexuals who actually made a fortune out of it within 5-year span. And by a fortune I mean seven figures numbers. An "average" successful TS provider in a metropolitan city could make anywhere between 150 - 300 K/year.

 

The driving power for this business are two things: money and testosterone and men got the majority of both of them, especially the latter;)

 

Shit ! Guess I shall scratch that one off my "what I would like to do for a living next that is fun AND profitable" list ;)

[Wolf Knight 29667]

Shit ! Guess I shall scratch that one off my "what I would like to do for a living next that is fun AND profitable" list ;)

 

I've tried to subscribe to the Red Green philosophy of pleasing women, " If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy". I have ladies calling me all the time for my for my superior services and when I leave I make sure they are always fully pleased and satisfied. Oh the life of a handyman, snaking drains is fun and profitable ;) (NO I'm not being metaphorical, unfortunately it's quite literal) :(

 

Cheers