How SPs manage time in a session

[j-theperson 129]

I've had only one session with a provider, and let's be clear that I don't know what I'm doing. ;-)

 

I was really conscious of the time, because I had an idea of how I wanted things to go and didn't want to get rushed at the end. I was nervous, but it was fun and she was super-nice. Having the time limit is a bit of a drag though.

 

Anyway, we're all done, at the end of the agreed-upon time and my thoughts are, "Well, time get out of here before some other guy is due to arrive." I'm dressed and basically set to go. She's still naked.

 

Then she asks if I watched last night's hockey game. I hadn't, and neither had she. It was just an attempt at small talk I guess. I thought she was just trying to end the encounter in a friendly way and I responded in kind - a short exchange and I'm on my way. Remember that I assume she wants me out the door at our time limit, and I definitely didn't want her to be anxious for me to leave. I tried to respect the agreed-upon time.

 

So now I'm wondering if I was so focused on the time that I missed that she was just looking to hang out and chat. I probably gave the impression that I was in a big hurry to leave. Maybe she had nothing scheduled after (it was the middle of the day) and she was bored and alone in a city she's not all that familiar with. Maybe the whole encounter could have been more relaxed if I had been following her cues.

 

What do you think? How do SPs get clients to leave on time, when they want them to? And how do clients know when it's OK to stay a bit longer?

 

Thanks!

 

J

[rkdmsb 100]

My experience is that each sp manages this in their own way. I have never felt it to be uncomfortable and somehow I have always known without looking at a clock when it was time to exit.

 

just pay attention. You will know.

[Studio 110 by Sophia 150333]

For myself, if there is say 20 min remaining of our time, or IF I do have few moments I can spare to chat longer. I would lead you to a sitting area, or just have pillow chat. I often ask, " are you on a tight time schedule? Would you like to sit and chat? " I may offer a bottle of water or beverage. If I am pressed for time, then obviously if the hour is done, I will lead to where your shoes are, have a bit of chat and give you a passionate long kiss and hug, I would hope this is a nice way to indicate that I have other obligations .

 

For the most part, SP's are very good with time management. Normally never booking appointments too close together, so that there is some wiggle room. I think you seem to be a very thoughtful Gentlemen to consider her feelings. There is no harm in asking while your there with her, such as " are you pressed for time, would you like to chat a bit? Get to know one another?" I am sure if she has time, it would be appreciated:) Especially when traveling as an SP, it can get rather lonely and boring....or the other way, extremely busy. She may then say" ohh would love to hun, but I have some commitments"

 

Just look for small indicators, and simply asking is the best way to know:)

[bcguy42 38594]

Suite Escapes expressed it very well. Just continue to follow the provider's cues. That way lies happiness.

[Hector17 9215]

I have been fortunate in this issue. A provider once told me that the time management of our rendez vous was on her...hers to get me in and out within the time booked...and that I shouldn't worry about it.

That said I always make myself aware of the time and make a move or gesture to say that I know it's time to leave, and sometimes it just flows and I'm gone...and sometimes I really do have to be somewhere else.

However I am sort of a "regular" type with a couple of ladies and on occasion have been asked "what's your rush", or told "you wont turn into a pumpkin" if you stay a little longer....and it's nice.

I dont "worry" too much about it now...I am tuned in to the vibe of our time together and just go with the flow, and that feels good

[bcguy42 38594]

Oh, and a handy little tip. Do not roll over and grab that phone by the bed to check the time.

 

I'm in the habit of doing this at home. Momentarily forgot where I was once with a dear lady and picked up the wrong phone. I've never seen her move so fast!

I apologized at the time and I apologize again.

 

I made a mental note to never, ever touch any phone, even my own, until I'm headed for the door.

[Guest realnicehat]

Hi J,

 

Welcome to the board. Yours is not an uncommon issue, there is some great information about your concern and how the ladies deal with it in this thread:

 

http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=145517&highlight=overstay

 

 

It is very admirable that you wish to respect the provider's time limit and feelings but I think once you gain some experience you will become a bit more relaxed in regard to the time. You'll also be able to read their subtle cues and it becomes pretty obvious when it is time to go.

 

I'd also recommend giving up your script of how you want the appointment to go. Sure there are things that you wish to do but watching the clock and trying to time it out is going to take a lot away from the overall experience. Get a few more playdates under your belt and you will learn how great it can be to just go with the flow and let things play out naturally.

[j-theperson 129]

Wow, thanks so much for the great feedback, info and advice. I'll be much more relaxed about it in the future.

 

I'm really glad the board exists to help newbies out!

[Jabba 18389]

A very thoughtful thread.

 

Some of you might know me as someone who leans toward exactitude which also borders a little on stupid OCD rigidity. I have difficulty thinking outside the hamster cage...round and round I go on the wheel until I stop. Ever watch Big Bang Theory?...I'm a little bit of Sheldon except not so annoying. Well, maybe a little bit annoying.

 

Anyway - same goes for a session. I measure the second I step into and out of the ring. I expect the SP/MA to observe the same rules. Anything that deviates from the game (such as conversation after a session) just blows my little hamster mind.

 

But wait, there are exceptions. There was a very kindly, well respected and now retired SP who was just a little surprised that I should have to bail because I lingered a few moments beyond our time. She actually invited a conversation. Imagine the scene - Here I was, together with a fucking gorgeous, naked, smiling woman casually sitting on her couch. She looked lonely and wanted me to stay to make her laugh. I couldn't do it because my fucking hamster mind told me time was up. I am sooo haunted by that image I want to go back and re-do it.

 

I didn't know what to do....honestly. She actually enjoyed our time together (as did I). It was so unexpected. She was solicitous, conversational, kind, beautiful..I could have kissed her face till it melted. But all I could do was pace nervously in little steps across the floor because that's what I do when the parameters are exceeded.

 

Lesson - don't do what I do.

Be sensitive & be aware of your surroundings. Don't pace in little steps. If your companion gives subtle or obvious cues to linger, by all means - linger if you can. Make a friend, be a good person, let someone enjoy your company. Savour your time because it's the small and maybe sometimes, few precious stolen moments that are really memorable.

[muncher459 1040]

Good thread, I always have time in the back of my mind...but also during a session I loose track of everything, my focus is always in the moment and the lady I am having this wonderful experience with...every thing out side that door or even the bed itself is gone....after I come back from my "zone", which usually takes some cuddling and chatting, I always ask how we are doing for time (with out my glasses on I am blind as bat)....at this point I take my cue from the lady as to what should happen next...we're good or lets talk is... well exactly what it means, or would you like to take a shower....well I guess I need to take a shower and be on my way. A good provider should supply good cues as to when it is time to say goodbye