Is referring to CK's diary similar to posting a negative review

[mod 135640]

As a relatively new cerbite, I find the omission of negative reviews to be a disservice to me. I would like to know about the scams that are being used and who to avoid.

 

I believe that a plain reporting of events that occurred without overt negative or slanderous comments, this should be allowed. For example, if someone overcharged or if there was bait and switch, what's wrong with simply reporting that experience?

 

I know cerb has its rules but in my opinion, it would be much more valuable to me if I could get the benefit of others, both the good and not so good.

 

I would suggest you open your own site then and make your own rules or join a site that allows this... Lots exist... this site is for those who dont want all the negativity. We like it being friendy and fun and no one can slander or do anything to damage a ladies business or disrespect a lady. This rule here wont change.

[mod 135640]

Violating my rule of never getting into a debate with Mod but I would provide a counterpoint by example.

 

I saw an ad for a lady not too long ago who didn't have any recos here. She wasn't on CK's page either. I went searching elsewhere and what did I find? Review after review describing her as cold, rushed, unprofessional and disconnected. Distracted with her phone, etc. Not mean or biased reviews (from what I could tell) inasmuch as they all described her as very beautiful, just like her pictures. Just that her 'bedside manner' was very lacking.

 

Someone like that falls in the cracks. People wouldn't necessarily be able to say something nice about her for a reco here. But on the other hand, she's not a bait and switch or a scam either so she doesn't really go on CKs page either.

 

I get that it's a fine line. If you open the floodgates to 'critical' reviews, the site can become a cesspool like some other sites. I believe you've made the right policy choice here as evidenced by the quality of discourse on CERB. On the other hand, obliquely suggesting to someone that they might find some useful information elsewhere might truly be doing them a solid.

 

No fine line, you were able to use other resources to get your answer. Nothing wrong with that. Hopefully its not a ex boyfriend, bad/unreasonable client or someone who sees her as compitition trying to slander her or damage her business. Problem is... Often it is so make sure whoever posted this info is reputable and not a new member on another forum. Its a lot easier to slander someone with negative reviews the it is to make a nice glowing recommendation for someone worthy of it so we find the recommendations much more valuable then negative comments. Again... If you value negative comments make sure you get a membership on a forum that allows it... Your not going to hurt our feelings if you jump ship or share your time on multiple sites.

[Cowboy kenny 50799]

Sorry to take so long to chime in, I only became aware of this thread today. The diary primarily accounts for bait and switch providers, agencies as well as dangerous situations for both providers and clients alike. From time to time if I experience"bad" or poor service from a provider I might post about it there, as a first person account.

 

Usually though I post those situations, thankfully rare, in forums that allow for that sort of information. It is possible to be critical without being hurtful or mean. As Christy points out though bad reviews can be done out of malice or revenge to the provider, by someone who in some cases hasn't even seen the provider. Why people do this is beyond me, but it is done, which is why you need to do your homework!

 

Third party information on my site is vetted as thoroughly as possible, details are checked and follow up is done before any 3rd party information is posted and usually needs to be confirmed by multiple sources, my mailbox is full of 3rd party information or tips, which actually pan out to be false or unproven, i'd say 10% of all 3rd party info I receive actually makes it to the site, usually it's too hard to prove or not true. I don't just print anything, without proof or fact based details. In fact several people take offense when I follow up asking more questions, which usually means they weren't committed to the truth to begin with.

 

The take away here is to DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH, there's plenty of resources. Just because a provider isn't listed here on the recommendation board , doesn't necessarily mean she's not worth seeing and vice versa, look at the posting history of posters on those other sites and you'll see that many complain a lot but don't actually provide substantive reviews or recommendations, while other members do with a balance of good and bad experiences. Remember though sex and everything about it are very subjective and what tickles one man's fancy may to do the same for the next guy, that doesn't mean that first guy is bullshitting.

 

 

A Happy hobbyist is an informed hobbyist, yes CERB is a great place, and the sense of community cannot be found anywhere else, where hobbyists and providers can openly discuss everything under the sun. Other boards exists for other purposes, there's nothing wrong with people having memberships and seeking information elsewhere. It's like if you only get your news from one source you only get a certain perspective. Google is your friend, for the adventurous type go wild and see what's out there. CERB is a great starting ground for newbies, there less chance of getting burned by bad service, bait and switch or dangerous situations, but that's not to say that they can't happen here as well.

[fortunateone 156618]

V

I saw an ad for a lady not too long ago who didn't have any recos here. .

 

 

 

 

See, to me, that is as far as this story needed to go.

 

 

 

.

 

I'm not saying every worthy sp has a recommendation, or even a review. But like mod points out, as does CK, can any of the negative comments you read be verified? He puts up 10% of the reports he receives, which seems really really low in comparison to the number of trashing and bashing reviews I've read over the years that make it onto other sites.

 

One thing clients don't see when they read these reviews and comments is the comments from the other side. His "rushed" is her "I couldn't get him to the door, he spent 20 minutes past the time the session was over, just getting dressed". His 'cold" is her "he made me uncomfortable, i couldn't wait for the session to be over' or 'he kept asking me for things I already told him I don't provide'. His 'distracted' is her "I hope he doesn't hurt me'.

 

Lots of things affect a first appointment. I don't know many sps who can fully relax until someone is visiting for a 2nd or 3rd time. To review based on a first one time visit doesn't seem helpful, unless it is a review only about the advertising and pictures, and the basics of did she do what she promised, and did she charge what she was supposed to charge, and are the pictures accurate. You know, all those things that review sites were created for in the first place, but now evolved into a place to try to intimidate them into providing more for less, and nit pick over the small details that shouldn't even be an issue.

[frodo1 140]

CERB already has a section where members can report bait & switch, scams and dangerous encounters.

As for CERB's rule about no negative reviews, everyone knew and accepted this policy when they joined CERB. If you want to read negative reviews, there are boards out there that allow them. CERB choses to only allow recommendations. Lots of review boards, but very few recommendation boards (I may be wrong but I believe CERB is the only one) And CERB's policy has made this board a safe place for the ladies. I'm sure many ladies would leave, or just not participate should this turn into a review board

A rambling

RG

 

Your points are well made. I do review the "bait and switch" section in cerb but I find very little there. ( I was unaware of Cowboy Kenny's blog.)

 

I find the experiences of others to be valuable, sometimes it can keep me out of trouble. For example, I once read someone reporting that while he was visiting a lady, his car was broken into. This is not necessarily negative, it is just reporting what happened to him. I found this to be useful.

 

Another example that I read from a contributor on cerb: when visiting a lady, her boyfriend showed up and he had to make a hasty exit. This too is valuable to me.

 

I did not intend to start a big discussion here. I believe cerb is a growing and "living" entity that surely should be able to tolerate a different opinion even if it is a minority opinion.

 

Thank you for your response to my email, you points have influenced my thinking.

[Guest c**io**m7]

I think it also comes down to how you word your recommendation to do further research. I did point to another board once the wrong way...I won't make the same mistake twice.

[Eric Northman 16522]

My thought process when I look at the other sites (as well as this one) is less along the lines of review specifics and more like a statistical sampling.

 

True, there could very well be negative things posted for the wrong reasons and one needs to take them with a grain of salt, especially in someone who is otherwise well recommended. A pattern of poor reviews, however, is more worrying.

 

I tend to think of it more as a formula where I rank things in importance as follows:

 

1) Being listed on CKs site is pretty much a deal breaker for me. He seems particularly trustworthy and I'm just not gonna take a chance.

 

2) Recos here divided by time. No recos, very infrequent recos or nothing recent is something I take as a warning sign. Not a deal breaker per se but perhaps a sign that more careful vetting is required. There are lots of non-sinister reasons why information might be scarce. Some ladies are very low volume or have a lot of regulars or just tend to get the kind of customers who don't write recos.

 

3) On sites which allow reviews, the positive to negative ratio. You can disregard outliers on both ends of the spectrum since a few overly fawning reviews might be shills and a few really bad ones might be grudges. If there are enough reviews left after that to allow a valid statistical sample, I'm just looking for an overall feeling of more positive than negative.

 

All this being said, it's pretty rare that I ever go to any of the other sites. Usually just curiosity when I see someone asking a question like, "Hey, I saw this Mandy on BP...any recos on her?" It's fun to do research even if you don't actively plan on seeing someone.

 

As a side note, I feel very lucky to have all these resources at my fingertips to ensure a good experience. The funny thing is, in spite of all this talk, I personally tend to not actually do much research at all and just go on my gut and whatever communication I've had with the lady. Seems to have worked out just fine most of the time so far.