Discretion...yeah right!

[stevecurious 42059]

Ok...I am starting to wonder if indeed discretion truly means what I think it does. The reason I am wondering is, and believe me I wondered about starting a thread on this topic. A few months ago (November to be exact) I met a lady for the first time, some of you may remember my post on this meeting entitled "Disappointment." Anyway THIS post relates directly to that previous post and lady in question. So enough background information, now I will begin. One evening shortly before Christmas as I am relaxing at home, incidentally with my wife in the same room, my cell starts to ring. Considering that I am now married and long since stopped receiving any phone calls much past 9:00...isn't married life wonderful, this call on MY phone at 11:00 must be a wrong number...please let it be a wrong number! As I start to reach for the phone I hear the obligatory question, "who is it?" Well to my surprise it was a text message from someone stored in my phonebook! This person was not my best friend, not someone from my ball team not even the office! The person texting me was the lady whom I met only a few weeks earlier TEXTING ME that she was going to be close by and wanted to schedule an appointment with me!! So here I am phone in hand with the words "new message from ......-" staring up at me and a wife trying to see who it is! Talk about DISCRETION! So, needless to say I had to lie...hard and fast to escape certain castration! So the reason for this little story is two fold: Reason one is to advise the community about this situation. Reason two is to ask if this or anything like it has ever happened to anyone else??

[VedaSloan 119179]

Eeek.

 

I never text/phone any clients unless they've asked me to (either to clarify scheduling or to confirm).

 

I consider it a HUGE faux pas to phone clients to schedule appointments. That is NOT how this business works. The clients seek you out for an appointment, not the other way around.

[Jazzitup 5652]

This should not have happened! Being discreet is one of the more important rules for both parties.

To call you at 11:00PM when people are normally home, was a really bad decision. It reflects badly on her, no question about it.

[Mister C 1725]

I've received a few text messages as well. Being single I don't need to worry about a SO finding out but I do like my privacy.

[antlerman 17064]

this sucks......but it also proves the point of a "hobby phone"........

 

For me I am texted...emailed...called...paged....at all hours by many people......that sucks

[PistolPete 61421]

There should be NO need for a hobby phone, unless you want one. Ladies should, disgard your number after your appointment as far as I'm concerned. The method of advertising yourself that you going to be "close by" is through ad's not freaking calling your numbers saved from clients!

 

Seriously, I'm sure majority of the ladies do not keep hobbiest phone numbers in case??

 

To your original question-stevecurious- "Never had a sp/ma call or text me " unless I had started the call or text.

[Guest Ou**or**n]

Of course it shouldn't have happened. However given enough time and encounters with enough ladies the possibility gets bigger that something like this may happen. Most of ladies here are extremely professional and discrete.

 

However like others have echoed, you need a hobby phone (just ask Tiger Woods), keep your golf clubs locked in your gun cabinet, and have one (or more) hobby email addresses as well. You must proactively manage your own privacy just like the ladies here do.

[boomer01 5574]

That's exactly why I block my # when I call which I know pisses off the SP's who do use discretion.I can't risk having someone phone me back because they have my # via caller ID.I can understand ads that say "will not answer blocked calls" but maybe if they also said " will not return calls unless asked" then I would unblock my calls.It's def a double edged sword for both parties involved but unless I know the party I am phoning I will continue to hide my # unless I'm assured she won't phone back...or she's really hot!! :jackoff:

[EmilyRushton 253377]

WOW!!!!

I can't believe the class of some ladies. I am sorry if I have offended any ladies but seriously, how can you be so stupid.

 

It takes ALOT to build up client trust and assure them of discretion then someone goes and does this. Is it that hard to send an email?

I have one question WHY, WHY, WHY would you do this? Do you want a client calling you on your personl phone when you are with famly?

 

Respecting the fact that everyone has a private life outside this is truly one of the most IMPORTANT things in the industry. One stupid move like this affects the rest of the community in one way or another.

 

Sorry to hear this happened to you Steve.

[brinston2004 100]

I have had ladies ask me after a session if they can store my number so they know who is calling them if and usually when I call back for another appointment. However to avoid potential embarassment and possibly worse I turn off my cell phone when at home.

[kih 458]

Eccentric. Although I am single - I still have a "Hobby Phone" as discretion in my activities begins with me.

[Guest S***e]

This is clearly wrong and unacceptable. I do not mind receiving a heads up email from an out of town lady planning to visit Ottawa. That's fine. I do not want nor need phone calls on my private cell phone or text messages. Discretion is a two way street.

 

 

Ok...I am starting to wonder if indeed discretion truly means what I think it does. The reason I am wondering is, and believe me I wondered about starting a thread on this topic. A few months ago (November to be exact) I met a lady for the first time, some of you may remember my post on this meeting entitled "Disappointment." Anyway THIS post relates directly to that previous post and lady in question. So enough background information, now I will begin. One evening shortly before Christmas as I am relaxing at home, incidentally with my wife in the same room, my cell starts to ring. Considering that I am now married and long since stopped receiving any phone calls much past 9:00...isn't married life wonderful, this call on MY phone at 11:00 must be a wrong number...please let it be a wrong number! As I start to reach for the phone I hear the obligatory question, "who is it?" Well to my surprise it was a text message from someone stored in my phonebook! This person was not my best friend, not someone from my ball team not even the office! The person texting me was the lady whom I met only a few weeks earlier TEXTING ME that she was going to be close by and wanted to schedule an appointment with me!! So here I am phone in hand with the words "new message from ......-" staring up at me and a wife trying to see who it is! Talk about DISCRETION! So, needless to say I had to lie...hard and fast to escape certain castration! So the reason for this little story is two fold: Reason one is to advise the community about this situation. Reason two is to ask if this or anything like it has ever happened to anyone else??

[Hornee69 4851]

Yep, bin there, dun it, bought the T-shirt! bad scene.

[tanis 155]

:ablow:Theres no excuse for this SP's 11:00 call.Unless the gentleman spoke to the SP daily and at all hours.

A marriage couldve been broken and who knows what else,the way divorces end up these days.

Just a tad unprofesional to say the least.

[etasman2000 15994]

Eccentric. Although I am single - I still have a "Hobby Phone" as discretion in my activities begins with me.

 

hear! hear! hobby phone for discretion.

[stevecurious 42059]

I agree a "hobby phone" would be the only way to guarantee 100% security! However as a previous poster said "discretion is a two way street." I still don't believe being contacted, in the way that I was, is professional!

[Mikeyboy 27134]

I would have thought that this was the "golden rule" for independants. We are required to take a leap of faith by calling from an unblocked number. We are trusting that they are both who they say they are, and that the number won't ever be used other than at specified times. I would have assumed that the importance of developing that trust would be understood by all. I hope that these were isolated incidents.

[Hornee69 4851]

Isn't this what haappened to Tiger (Cheetah) & Elin. That is going to cost him $500 Mil. & 2 teeth. That is an expensive phone call.

 

:ablow:Theres no excuse for this SP's 11:00 call.Unless the gentleman spoke to the SP daily and at all hours.

A marriage couldve been broken and who knows what else,the way divorces end up these days.

Just a tad unprofesional to say the least.

[Guest S***e]

Smart move indeed! I think this in an intelligent way to go and is a worthwhile investment; certainly something I am now considering as well for the reasons stated above.

 

hear! hear! hobby phone for discretion.

[TracieGold 282]

Gross!

Pistol Pete expressed it perfectly: the phone numbers of the gentlemen (let's call them "clients" for this purpose) should be discarded after an appointment takes place.

If the client wants to meet the SP/MP or whoever, again, HE WILL MAKE THE CALL, not the other way around.

Does anyone here receive calls from, let's say the painter?? wanting to go paint your living room today???

or does the accountant call you to schedule an appointment to see your registry books for no reason?

I really think and feel this is an issue of "bad association" (sorry for the frankness).

Most of the SP's /MP's at CERB wont even think of doing that.

Privacy goes both ways, however, we know that our "clients" are mostly attached with a SO, and even if a real friendship develops between Service Provider and Client, everybody should know his/her place. If an SO picks up the phone and reads a text like Steve mentioned...WOW... "castration" may be just a small part of the tragedy that could unfold.

If a client asks to be called....we call....and in that case they will provide a number that is convenient to them and a time for that call to be placed.

Regarding "blocked numbers"....I have my 2 cents to say:

Bad,bad, bad.

We do not pick up calls from Blocked Numbers. It is distasteful of the caller. It is "hiding" behind the phone....why?

Because the other person may investigate you? or perhaps do what the SP of Steve did? well....more reason to assert that this was a case of bad-association.

I suggest to check with the other gentlemen in the forum about the SP/MP you would like to meet; get a good reference and you wont have to go through undesirable situations....

We want you all in one piece, I mean...unless you want to be the next eunuch at a sophisticated harem !!!!:bowdown:

[todosj 102]

Another safeguard I use is to rename the SP's in my phone to a male name that sounds or looks similar, to easily jog your memory, but also to be able to say "Oh, that was some guy from work, or so and so's friend texting me goofy jokes, etc"

[bucky501 923]

yep--i`ve done that

 

don`t know why though ...i`m single!!!!

[stevecurious 42059]

Curious...at the time of this post there have been four ladies, all SP's , responding to the thread. All four have the same opinion....mmm anyone see a pattern forming?

[kih 458]

I agree a "hobby phone" would be the only way to guarantee 100% security! However as a previous poster said "discretion is a two way street." I still don't believe being contacted, in the way that I was, is professional!

 

It's not professional considering the circumstances. Very difficult to control the discretion of others.

[Andee 220524]

I only call back or text clients who have given me permission to do so.

 

Even when someone leaves me a message to call them back, if I am unable to return the call within a few hours, I do not call back.

 

I think we can agree that this SP behaved totally unprofessional and disrespectful. It's not like we're your dentist's office where they call you to remind you you're due for a cleaning...c'mon.

 

The words "don't call me, I'll call you" always apply when it comes to this business. That is what we are are trusted to be discrete.

 

When she starts losing clients, hopefully someone like you will tell her why.