Ottawa Sun: The Business of Happiness

[FunValerie 8573]

http://www.ottawasun.com/2014/01/24/inside-the-business-of-happiness

 

Here is the link to the Sun article which is being published.

 

I am satisfied that the Sun did a good job within the constraints of of their readership.

 

My photos and quotes were used with permission.

 

I would like the opinions of other people.

 

I am not sure if this is in the right section so feel free to move this to any other section which you feel might be more appropriate for this article.

[CristyCurves 169032]

Thank you Valerie for your honesty and truthful depiction of how it is. Great article I loved it:)

[Kathryn Bardot 99339]

Thank you for sharing your article, Valerie.

 

I think if people want to speak to the media, we should be careful about comparing ourselves to other workers in negative ways. We don't need to be looking down on "hookers" and giving the media and the public more sensationalism. I don't agree that there is a "large and illegal demand for underage escorts", either.

Discussing the difference in working/the experience is fine, I would just like to suggest that we try to keep it neutral -- so, "street-based worker" instead of "street-based hooker", and try not to compare ourselves by saying something like "well I'm not a prostitute because I do XYZ".

It's fine to say, "I don't like the term hooker/prostitute/sex monkey". It's another thing to say "I'm not one of them", IMO.

[Cleo Catra 178382]

I respect your opinion Valerie, but I do disagree with two of your statements.

 

I don't think there is any class system or hierarchy among sex workers, and saying you are an escort, NOT a prostitute, denotes a class system. I am an escort. I am a prostitute. I am a hooker. I actually feel so strongly on this issue I made a post in my blog about it last week - http://thetattooedcat.blogspot.ca/2014/01/whats-in-name.html

 

I also don't agree that younger is better. The vast majority of my clients prefer women 25+ - or even 30+. A gentleman I saw recently was almost beside himself when I reminded him I was 29 when we first met. He only likes to see women over 30 - and he himself is only in his early 40s.

 

I am proud to be an escort/hooker/whore/prostitute. I love ALL of my fellow hos.

[Nathalie L 112512]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with the Sun reporter, Valerie. It takes a lot of courage to trust the media, and to speak with them about our experiences. Too often people don't reach out to us on issues that are important.

 

However, as workers I do believe we have a responsibility to represent this industry accurately and fairly. I was wondering how you came to the conclusion that there is a high and illegal demand for underage escorts?

 

I also agree with Kat and Cleo regarding the use of the term "prostitute". I think it's really important not to compare ourselves to street-based workers in a negative way. I feel so lucky, so incredibly lucky, to be able to work indoors and I fight really (really) hard in my personal and academic life for the life, liberty, and security of the persons of all sex workers, be they indoor or not. I count myself among the lucky ones, you know?

[CristyCurves 169032]

Thank you for sharing your article, Valerie.

 

I think if people want to speak to the media, we should be careful about comparing ourselves to other workers in negative ways. We don't need to be looking down on "hookers" and giving the media and the public more sensationalism. I don't agree that there is a "large and illegal demand for underage escorts", either.

Discussing the difference in working/the experience is fine, I would just like to suggest that we try to keep it neutral -- so, "street-based worker" instead of "street-based hooker", and try not to compare ourselves by saying something like "well I'm not a prostitute because I do XYZ".

It's fine to say, "I don't like the term hooker/prostitute/sex monkey". It's another thing to say "I'm not one of them", IMO.

 

Good points, interesting how we all read things differently. But as far as the large demand for underage- I'll say there definitely is. When I was answering phones for escort services, everyday, and almost every other call the typical question would be who is your youngest girl, if I said 18-19 the reply would be no one younger, so....

As far as the terms used and how we refer to one another , it really doesn't bother me, hooker, prostitute, courtesan, sp, comfort woman, whatever, they are only words, titles, not defining of who I am or what I do . Only I can define that and that definition may change per my mood. However I understand the need for diplomacy and keeping it neutral for some:)

I didn't read her article as she was putting herself above anyone just describing the difference between the terms. There are many in this business who think escorts are "common" and courtesans are the upper class of the escort world, and prostitutes are the lowest, and usually drug addicted. These are not my opinions but others do define themselves that way, to each their own. Again they all mean the same thing to me. As far as her referring to younger being better, I didn't get that I think she was meaning simply that younger girls are in more demand and to that I agree and again when I was dealing with services, mature women got business but not half the business the 20 somethings got.

[kmwq 5477]

Thanks for the link. Just thinking out loud but if everything becomes legal, aren't you afraid the tax collector will come calling? The 40,000 becomes 30,000.

[Cleo Catra 178382]

Thanks for the link. Just thinking out loud but if everything becomes legal, aren't you afraid the tax collector will come calling? The 40,000 becomes 30,000.

 

Being an escort already IS legal. I pay my taxes as an escort - it's CRA industry code: Other personal services (including Online psychic, escorts, dating, party planning, personal shopping) - 81290. I am also registered for HST and 13% tax is included in my rates.

 

I hatehatehate the assumption that escorts dont pay taxes. I am a self-employed woman running a legal business, and I pay my taxes just like any other business owner.

[Kathryn Bardot 99339]

Thanks for the link. Just thinking out loud but if everything becomes legal, aren't you afraid the tax collector will come calling? The 40,000 becomes 30,000.

Sex work is legal. It is certain provisions around it that are not, such as hiring security or communicating in public.

I pay taxes on my income like any other small business. Revenue Canada has a job code for escorting.

 

Why is there always the assumption that we do not report our incomes, just because this is a cash-based income? It would be incredibly difficult to do things like sign a lease or a mortgage, get a credit card, buy a car and car insurance, etc if we were not claiming income.

[Sweet Emily J 172062]

Being an escort already IS legal. I pay my taxes as an escort - it's CRA industry code: Other personal services (including Online psychic, escorts, dating, party planning, personal shopping) - 81290. I am also registered for HST and 13% tax is included in my rates.

 

I hatehatehate the assumption that escorts dont pay taxes. I am a self-employed woman running a legal business, and I pay my taxes just like any other business owner.

^^^

 

Word. More about "the sexy tax" : http://everydaywhorephobia.wordpress.com/2013/08/30/taxable-blow-jobs/ :biggrin:

[FunValerie 8573]

There is a demand for underage escorts because I get called and emailed to put people in touch with younger ladies. Some websites somewhere posted that the age of consent in Canada is fourteen and I have been emailed by potential clients asking me if I know of anyone who is fourteen. I was advertising in the US for clients how come to visit Canada and those clients in particular emailed me about finding them fourteen year old escorts.

 

I have also answered phones for an agency and the demand for younger ladies is certainly there. My age is posted on my website and still people call me to put them in touch with someone younger, as young as possible. When I was younger, no one ever called me to put them in touch with an older escort. It did not happen even once. I have clients who have seen me who have asked me to send them the names of younger ladies but never have I been asked for the names of older ladies. Not even once.

 

This business has to be a cash business. I used to accept Pay Pal and I was burned. I used to accept credit cards and I was burned. It never ceased to amaze me how many men turned up with a credit card in the wife's name claiming that the wife never checked the bills.

 

I have no personal objection to being called a prostitute or whatever. The Sun did take come liberty with what I said but I let them do it. The Sun has a readership that it needs to please and keep happy. The Sun needs to sell newspapers which is what makes it a profit. In that context, I find that what was said was fair.

 

The point was that escorting is a legal taxable small business and it has all the problems and the challenges of any other small business. I think the Sun article succeeded in making that point.

[kmwq 5477]

My bad, I did not mean to imply that escorts were evading tax. I just didn't know that the government required that you pay tax.

[Kathryn Bardot 99339]

My bad, I did not mean to imply that escorts were evading tax. I just didn't know that the government required that you pay tax.

The government requires that all income is declared and that you pay your taxes accordingly. Does that mean everyone declares all of their income? No. There are people who evade paying or claim lesser amounts all across the board. But there seems to be a common assumption that escorts don't pay taxes, when we (the public) don't make that assumption of all other cash-based businesses.

[kmwq 5477]

Obviously, I've hit a nerve. I'll concede that I don't know that tax laws as well as you do and call it quits.

[fortunateone 156618]

There is a demand for underage escorts because I get called and emailed to put people in touch with younger ladies. Some websites somewhere posted that the age of consent in Canada is fourteen and I have been emailed by potential clients asking me if I know of anyone who is fourteen. I was advertising in the US for clients how come to visit Canada and those clients in particular emailed me about finding them fourteen year old escorts.

 

.

 

 

It's kind of alarming to think there are guys out there that think that another sp would be agreeable to help them find someone under age. I've never been asked or even had anyone hint about it.

 

One thing, hopefully helpful, is the age of consent has been changed a couple of years ago to 16. That is still not, however, the minimum age for seeing sps, clients must know that the person they see is 18 and older.

 

fwiw, i would pass on whatever contact info you have for these people to the appropriate authorities, along with copies of their requests that you find these underagers. :)

 

 

When dealing with the general uninformed public, i always use the term sex worker. Sex worker means everyone, dominatrix, dancer, r&t provider, sp, escort, courtesan, whatever. They understand the term and that way we aren't forced into using the abolitionist's 'prostitute' who are trying to 'own' that word to dismiss and discredit us all. They've smeared the word to only mean the stereotype (as in starts at 14, on the streets, drug addicted, mental health issues, and of course, forced and pimped and unwilling, along with experiences of high levels of assault and violence. And they've twisted the word into meaning that, which is why my preference is to not use the word for any sex workers, not outside of those who understand the meaning at least).

 

 

I liked the article overall, and thought both the writer and the Sun did a good job. I didn't even see the obligatory 20 year old short skirted, platform stripper shoed sp standing on the dark street corner for the photo to accompany the article lol.

 

 

The only thing I would mention is that it seemed like you thought that you, as an indoor worker, are unable to communicate with clients about your services, etc. This is completely legal to do. The only time communication is illegal, at least for the next 11 months, is when it is in public. which is why it is the number one charge against street workers and their clients, and never the charge against any mp worker or sp incall, or escort outcall.

[Nathalie L 112512]

There is a demand for underage escorts because I get called and emailed to put people in touch with younger ladies. Some websites somewhere posted that the age of consent in Canada is fourteen and I have been emailed by potential clients asking me if I know of anyone who is fourteen. I was advertising in the US for clients how come to visit Canada and those clients in particular emailed me about finding them fourteen year old escorts.

 

It's definitely alarming. I've never had a request like that either and find that as I age, my business gets better and better. I know many providers who have experienced a similar trend. Weird...(and yes, alarming)

[CristyCurves 169032]

It's definitely alarming. I've never had a request like that either and find that as I age, my business gets better and better. I know many providers who have experienced a similar trend. Weird...(and yes, alarming)

 

But Nathalie you are 25. You shouldn't be seeing your business slump as you are still in the category of those considered young:)you'll see the difference when you hit the age that hobbyists feel is mature and although there is a demand for mature providers, to that I can attest, it doesn't compare to the demand for those who are young, lets say under 30;)

[1iceman1 331]

Valerie,

 

I read the article online this morning and I thought it was a well-written article.

 

There are two things that I find disturbing - ages and the difference between independent SPs and escort agencies.

 

I find it horrific that some guys have tried to take advantage of our law on ages of consent while trying to get services. And, the guys who prefer young ladies of age of 18-22 over mature ladies, are losers because I think the long experiences in this kind of services is more beneficial and pleasurable.

 

I am surprised by the fact that escort agencies are taking 50 percent commission from their escorts and I think it is way too much. Those ladies deserve more $$$ to make their living IMHO.

[Kathryn Bardot 99339]

I think the problem is that we're taking personal experience and extrapolating that into the norm. Valerie and Cristy, your experience has been that clients are looking for underage women, so you assume that this is the case across the board. On the opposite spectrum, Nat and I have not personally experienced this, so we question how this could be the norm.

I would be interested to see some real figures on this. Of course, any tracking/studies on sex work, and especially underage exploitation, is going to be difficult in terms of generalization.

[Guest C*****tte]

Fun Valerie - very brave of you to do the interview.

 

As an aside - If anyone brings up the average age of a prostitute being 13 as 'fact', I kindly ask you to refer to this excellent piece debunking the very biased research that led to it.

 

http://maggiemcneill.wordpress.com/2012/11/27/the-source/

[CristyCurves 169032]

I think the problem is that we're taking personal experience and extrapolating that into the norm. Valerie and Cristy, your experience has been that clients are looking for underage women, so you assume that this is the case across the board. On the opposite spectrum, Nat and I have not personally experienced this, so we question how this could be the norm.

I would be interested to see some real figures on this. Of course, any tracking/studies on sex work, and especially underage exploitation, is going to be difficult in terms of generalization.

 

Thank you:) but that's what people do, express their experiences as what they perceive to be the norm because it is to them/me when that is all they've/me has seen. I too would be interested in seeing the data. I'm just wondering though if either or both of you have worked for a high volume service? As an independent I've never had a man ask me to hook them up with a younger girl, not yet anyways.

To clarify I don't think the men I've spoken to in general were necessarily searching for underage but for younger as most men didn't appear to have the knowledge that 18 was the youngest a service would hire, my preference would have been 20+.But I do believe men want younger and the younger the better. It goes along with body types, petite girls, girls that were very tiny 5ft-90-100 lbs always did well no matter their age as men perceived them as more youthful because of their size. You could send an 18yr old girl out that is a normal build 5ft6-7 130-140lbs and men will perceive her to be older, send out a 25 yr old tiny girl and men will think her to be younger. But again that is just my experience and that is all I can speak from.

[Guest *l**e]

a couple of quick comments,:

 

1. I am totally impressed with the intellect and intelligence of all the wonderful ladies that have posted in this thread. If the average member of public could read this, their misguided perceptions of who sex workers are would change drastically. That's actually one of the things that has impressed me the most since I joined CERB; the number of highly educated and highly intelligent people I have met

 

2. I think the article was pretty good. It focused mostly on positivity and displayed the opinion of a very eloquent member of our community

 

3.why hasn't CRA changed the code for escort to "696969"...I would have done that long ago if I was the boss over there!!

 

Thanks ladies...great thread

[Guest S****r]

Just to add to the discussion my own experience: although I have been in the business less than two years, I'd like to add that

 

1. I have never had anyone ask me to find them a younger girl--underage or not.

 

2. Almost each and every client that I have seen has said that he sees me because he prefers mature women.

 

In my interaction with younger girls in the Ottawa market, it seems that THEY have the more difficult time getting clients. One reason is because of the vast number of young girls they are competing against versus the smaller pool of mature women that I am up against.

 

3. The market attracted to mature women whom I have met includes--

 

a. older men who are mortified at the idea of seeing a girl in her 20s.

b. middle-aged guys whose daughters have hit their 20s. They tell me that it has become creepy to go after a girl the age of their own daughters.

c. younger guys who are looking for an older, experienced woman.

 

4. The market attracted to the 20-year-olds seems to be:

a. those of the same age group

b. those of the next age group whose own daughters are not yet 20

 

So it seems they have the challenges of both a smaller market, and a much larger competition.

 

Now, I realize those are broad statements, and life is full of variables. But as I have watched and listened closely, in MY own experience, this has been true.

 

I don't mean to imply these statistics as always true everywhere for everyone. Just adding to the conversation.

[Guest Miss Jane TG]

I must caution that the sex industry is highly variable to the extent that each one of us might view it differently. In this context, I believe that this article was great on different levels.

 

There are two words which strike my mind: Genuine and Realistic to a great extent.