Is there such a thing as cheating on a stripper

[Guest ***rd**n]

Is there such a thing as cheating on a stripper? Reason I ask is that one stripper said something to me that has being eating me up inside. She said don't give up on me. I am only a client of hers one of many. There is no way that I could ever have any kind of real relationship with her let alone get into her panties. We get along very well together. Sometimes she asks what I am thinking when she looks into my eyes. I don't have the heart nor the guts to tell her how I feel. Besides I think she knows, my eyes always give me away. I am not foolish or naïve. When you go to a strip club you had better have something in your pocket. A hard on alone will not get you very far without the cash to back it up. I stay away from the strip club now. Sometimes I get calls to go visit if I can I do. I have started exploring different things like MAs and escorts. Reason being I get more bang for my buck. I know it is a selfish thing to say but it is true. I do appreciate the dances and am very grateful for the girls time and company. If I didn't care about the girl it wouldn't bother me. Why should I feel guilty or bad. Why should I care. Problem is I do.

[NotchJohnson 214132]

My opinion only, I think you are in love with this girl. That's alright us men have feelings too, but just come down to reality. Seeing MA's and SP's is good for you because you know you can appreciate the finer things in life. Who is saying/thinking that you are cheating on the stripper? If you are not dating this girl or married to her it's not cheating, nough said.

[Nathalie L 112512]

I agree with NJ, I don't think non-monogamy (ethical or unethical) is really a factor in this decision. Unless the woman you're talking about initiates the blurring of boundaries between her personal and professional life, then there's nothing you can say or do. If you initiated something it could (and probably would) be perceived negatively. It would put her in an awkward position.

 

I think it's important to remember that just because she's being paid to spend time with you (through lap dances, etc), that doesn't mean she can't have authentic feelings for you. Life is complicated, and this industry is complicated.

 

If you feel you need to move away from that scene to get perspective than do it, but yeah, cheating has nothing to do with it even if you have feelings for her.

 

Additional Comments:

Also, I do think there's such a thing as cheating on a sex worker in a general sense. The fact that I see clients in my professional life doesn't mean that a personal partner can't cheat on me (monogamy/non-monogamy is more nuanced than that). I know that's not what you're referring to though, but I thought I would just put it out there.

[Wolf Knight 29667]

Well usually what is defined as cheating is determined by the person who is being cheated on. Different people have different levels of what they'll accept. In this case, it's probably not as much "cheating" (because you're not in a defined relationship) it's more an issue of loyalty that's being presented.

 

Even in these paid scenarios that we engage in there are legitimate bonds that do develop between providers and clients. It happens. When the client decides for whatever reason to enjoy the company of another provider sometimes human emotion enters into the NSA realm and a provider can be left with the feeling of being jilted. She invested a lot of time and energy into developing a good or even great rapport with you only to see you see others. (She might be a professional but she's human and feelings do impact even pro's)

 

It might be callous, but at it's essence this is a business and as but one of her many paying clients you do have the right to explore elsewhere just as she has the right to see other clients.

 

So....no cheating.

[roamingguy 300292]

Personally I don't think you have anything to feel guilty about. In this lifestyle you may just meet that one in a million lady who is special, a friend. I'll use the term companion for purposes of this post, be it SP/MA/or Dancer. That said, in this lifestyle exclusivity should not be expected. Not by a companion. Not by a client

Clients should always expect a companion to see other clients. Likewise a companion should expect clients to see other companions. This is a poly amorous lifestyle, not monogamous. A companion should want her clients to be happy and part of that comes from seeing other companions. Likewise a client should want a companion to see other clients because that helps her business.

If this dancer expects you to be "faithful" just to her, is she willing to be just as "faithful" to you? Or is it not a case of being "faithful" but being possessive. She has already made you stay away from the strip club, because I assume it isn't enjoyable for you anymore.

No, you shouldn't feel guilty, she should feel guilty for taking the enjoyment out going to a strip club from you

Probably a convoluted long winded rambling

RG

[2bigalow2 2938]

If you are in a monogamous relationship with the dancer and is your girlfriend yes you are cheating.

If it is a business client relationship, no you are not cheating.

It's like going to a different bar other than your regular bar. It is not cheating.

If the dancer is not invested in you outside the club emotionally, you are only a client.

Sorry ladies , it is what I believe and its only an opinion!

[Guest pagypie]

i had this feeling happen with a dancer i was seeing 2 yrs ago.

 

i had a dance with someone else when she wasn't working and it did feel weird. i described it as feeling i was "not cheating on my not girlfriend"

 

i think we're trained to be monogamous by our environment and upbringing. so when you develop genuine feelings, i can understand how you feel a bit guilty.

 

the truth is, as other said, you don't need to feel guilty. it's just as unnecessary as feeling jealous of her when she sees other customers. some time away will help you out because "love" is a chemical reaction in your head. when you stop feeding it, it will eventually leave you alone. this could mean avoiding clubs, avoiding her, seeing other dancers etc.

 

or maybe even talk to her about it. joke about it like i did. not cheating on my not girlfriend. see it for what it is and have a laugh about it.

[Guest ***rd**n]

No she hasn't taken my enjoyment out of the club. Besides she can do no wrong. I can't spend as much as I used to so I am a bit embarrassed about it so I stay away. Someone mentioned the word loyalty and I think it is a correct word. I do try to be loyal to her as much as I can. To me she is that one in a million kind of girl. I try to stick with the dancers that I know and that know me. The dollar decides how far you go and sometimes it only goes so far. Someone also mentioned the word love. Very strong word. Staying away means I am not feeding that chemical reaction in my brain so maybe it will go away. Or maybe I am trying to replace it with other chemical reactions like sex instead. Not to sure, chemistry is complicated and I don't have a PhD in chemistry.

[slacker 1290]

I've been here myself. I have had a long-time business relationship with a dancer which became blurred when personal issues were raised with me. Once that happened, a lot of emotions came up.. anger at the blurring of the lines, anger at allowing the lines to be blurred, embarrassment at the anger, envy, jealousy, along with a real sense of loss at the end of a relationship, both business and personal. And a lot of regret.

 

In the end, I don't think this is an issue of cheating or chemistry. It's humanity, and human emotions, and how complex they can be, and how they interact. If it were simple, this thread wouldn't be here. :)

[Bridgette 10998]

As long as she is dancing for other clients, you are free to get dances from other dancers. There is no cheating in the client/dancer relationship, but there are some dancers who will try to guilt you into only spending time with them. I think you may be reading too much into your interactions with her. Enjoy your time together and feel free to explore other options - it sounds like visiting MAs and escorts, and perhaps even other clubs/dancers, would be a good thing for you.

[Guest S*rca****sid]

I also believe there is no such thing as cheating in this situation. Would you be cheating if you had your clothes dry cleaned at a different dry cleaner? Or getting your hair cut from a different barber? I know I am guilty of having a preference towards a certain barber, but I wouldn't feel guilty for having someone else cut my hair.

 

In my opinion, this particular dancer seems to have found a way to manipulate you into spending money on her. It may be best to find something else to occupy your time and money with.

[redskin44 3588]

if you and this lady develop a relationship outside of the club whether it be friendship or more , enjoy it like you would any other relationship .

 

the moment you go through those doors you are in her workplace . her job is her priority during this time . she needs to feed , clothe , and pay various bills as we all must do .

[Guest Ni**t*****t]

if you and this lady develop a relationship outside of the club whether it be friendship or more , enjoy it like you would any other relationship .

 

the moment you go through those doors you are in her workplace . her job is her priority during this time . she needs to feed , clothe , and pay various bills as we all must do .

 

Being there right now, I totally agree. I enjoy a nice relationship with a lovely dancer that I occasionally see outside of her work. I don't go to her workplace much anymore but if I do, I understand she is working and the rules are different.

[igab 5629]

If you don't have to pay her to be with her then you are in a relationship. If you have to pay her to enjoy her company you are not. It's as simple as that. Yes I've fallen in love with Escorts before mainly cause they were so good at creating the fantasy. It's not real....keep that in mind.

[dazedandconfused75 455]

Though I'm horrible because I'm pretty much right where you are (Minus the changing to SP / MP) I think its important to remember what happens in the club is business 100%, but at the same time I hope that friendships can exist between client / dancer for sure ... there is nothing worse than seeing the dancer outside of the club and getting a look of disgust etc...

 

The hard part is making sure you keep your emotions in check remembering she has to make her money, and you have needs to be met too. So don't feel guilty about it, if your still having fun going to see her keep going!

 

Maybe its time for a change of scenery for while go to different bars and stay away for a bit and let the emotions cool down so you can look at the situation with a clearer vision.

[Bridgette 10998]

there is nothing worse than seeing the dancer outside of the club and getting a look of disgust etc...

 

Many of us just have a resting bitch face, especially when out and about. ;)

[Clutch 711]

Many of us just have a resting bitch face, especially when out and about. ;)

 

Haha, RBF is becoming an epidemic!

 

But yes, I had a similar situation lately in a very small club. It is a strange almost unexplainable feeling of guilt. Especially if the other reacts negatively. We all just need to give our heads a shake.

[dazedandconfused75 455]

Absolutely but it is super hard at times to shake your head... As much as some of us think we are in control of our selves it,can soon spiral out,if control ;)

 

 

 

Looking back over the last 6 months, I went from rarely going to clubs. To once a month... To twice a week to once a day.. This last week I went 6 times in 4 days ... When I look back at the start I would see a pretty girl maybe take her for a couple,of dances rarely the same one...now i only go see one girl.. And though I'm a pretty practical guy who knows that nothing will ever happen you can't help but become attached... I'll stick with my suggestion step away for a bit.. It can be a slippery slope

[Guest Ni**t*****t]

If you don't have to pay her to be with her then you are in a relationship. If you have to pay her to enjoy her company you are not. It's as simple as that. Yes I've fallen in love with Escorts before mainly cause they were so good at creating the fantasy. It's not real....keep that in mind.

 

 

Well said. I think however this is easily identified at a very early stage. Where you may end up on a slippery slope is if your emotions take over your logical thinking.

I have paid for a night out with some girls that met in a club and that I liked a lot and have always had a good time.

[dazedandconfused75 455]

Funny this is also the type thing that should be shared with new people...even when the girls are honest about it ... Its very hard to keep the lines straight... They excel at keeping focus off the money and on the "relationship" ... You just have to figure if your okay with paying for the company..

 

Back to the OP .. I think its entirely possible to feel like your cheating on the dancer you regularly see I know I feel that way for sure at times. Though that feeling was never brought on by her in way shape or form, and I even try and point out prospective clients to her as they don't bother me either. But there is a part of me deep inside that says visiting two dancers is wrong ... Silly but its there so I side with another post brought up that some of us (not all) are monogamous ... which is silly because I'm sure the vast majority of clients are married or in a relationship of some time ... and each and everyone of us have a line that they don't believe they are crossing.

 

Additional Comments:

Many of us just have a resting bitch face, especially when out and about. ;)

 

Possibly ... I"ve met / scene 3 dancers now outside of the club by complete accident all of them with their boyfriends or at least they were holding hands with or seemed intimate (I just assume all Dancers have a significant other) but only one left me with an icky feeling .. (Not that I approached any of them ... respect their real lives after all :) )

[allerob 758]

I would have to agree on this that there could be an expectation that we put on ourselves that we should have a dance with the lady. in my case it isn't put there by the gal but by myself.

[all-in 300]

There shouldnt be any feeling of guilt over seeing girls in the club other than a favorite, in my opinion. I have a favorite (dont we all?) and I think part of the initial appeal was that she introduced me to several of her friends and suggested I take them for dances. Afterwards, talking on the phone with her about how the dances were just seemed so incredibly arousing. If one starts acting jealous, talk to her and set ground rules.

[roughrider978 130]

good mormim all

 

I have had good and bad experience s in club s in the Ottawa region.....so I have now gone to a few clubs and met some fime ladies and I have dances now with only one and we have developed such a good relation ship that now I only go there when she work s .....what she does is message me when she work s and I show up....I don't know why most of them don't do this....but am thimkin they don't have a steady work schedule....just a thought....any opinion s

[Bridgette 10998]

good mormim all

 

I have had good and bad experience s in club s in the Ottawa region.....so I have now gone to a few clubs and met some fime ladies and I have dances now with only one and we have developed such a good relation ship that now I only go there when she work s .....what she does is message me when she work s and I show up....I don't know why most of them don't do this....but am thimkin they don't have a steady work schedule....just a thought....any opinion s

 

Many dancers do this, at least with a handful of clients. Some prefer to keep all contact in the club, even if it may mean less repeat business. Others work so regularly that it doesn't seem necessary since they are there every x day at y time, no need to send a text.

[sonoma 431]

Someone earlier wrote if you pay it's not a relationship and he is right and i would add it's not because a dancer gives you a couple of freebies once in awhile that you are in a relationship.

 

I frequent strip club quite often most of the time just to relax and have a couple of beers but i do have 2 favorite that ill take for dances more often then other then other dancer i do it when i feel like it but if one day i don't feel like having dances or i feel like having someone else dance they wont make me feel bad about it. We message almost dayly to chit chat and they tell me when they are working i sometime see them outside the club at there place and i dont feel as if im in a relationship with either of them

 

I think what guys something tend to forget is that these ladies are there to make you feel special, its there job and they are very good at it. They are selling a fantasy a damn nice one!! And most of the time a fantasy remain a fantasy but sometime they might come true;)