Jabba 18389 Report post Posted February 13, 2014 He or She? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Malika Fantasy 144625 Report post Posted February 13, 2014 She more than he Myself more than them. Your thread doesn't say much. i trust more my emotions and instincts than those of others. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Reuben Sandwich 13841 Report post Posted February 13, 2014 She fer sure. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest P*rry Report post Posted February 13, 2014 I trust hockey fans (he or she). My answer may be influenced by the woman's USA Canada Game that I'm watching on TV. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MightyPen 67414 Report post Posted February 13, 2014 Both. Neither. Depends. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest k *** t***n Report post Posted February 13, 2014 I trust my puppies :) That's about all lol More inclined to trust Him though. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ice4fun 78407 Report post Posted February 13, 2014 In a general way I kinda trust everyone until they give me a reason to not trust them. I regards to a higher level of trust I kinda think that I really start to trust someone when I have known them for awhile and their actions clearly shows me that they are honest and true. In regards to my relationship with a service providers I would not agree to see a lady without having a reasonable level of trust in them. But the unquestioned trust you with anything kind of faith is really only something that develops over time an multiple encounters.... there is one lady I see who I would trust with anything in a heartbeat... she has more integrity and character than almost anyone I know. Just my opinion 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest c**io**m7 Report post Posted February 13, 2014 I cautiously trust...it has traditionally taken time to earn my full trust. I worked hard on allowing my trust to be free and several months ago, let down my guard and gave my full trust, heart and soul, to someone for the very first time. It was a wonderful feeling, while it lasted. The guards are back up and cautious trust is all I got again...for now. Now, sadly, I trust one person unconditionally...me. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gc1968 2033 Report post Posted February 13, 2014 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CristyCurves 169032 Report post Posted February 13, 2014 Trust is something that has to be earned. Nowadays I give few the ability especially she's in this business! The women I have personally met in this business have all been untrustworthy so it's hard not to generalize and even harder to trust, but we all have to make decisions that will be in our own best interests:) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Miss S. Lane 67128 Report post Posted February 13, 2014 Once upon a time, I, like Ice4fun, trusted everyone unless they gave me a reason not to. Unfortunately all to often, they did. Over the years, I've learned to be more objective about who I trust. I regard this industry very differently. There are a few women in this industry who I trust completely. I would trust them with anything. They have shown me I can. There are others, SP's or clients, who have shown me I can't. I proceed with guarded caution which is very out of my element. However, it is usually easy to tell and therefore easy to figure who I can and cannot trust. It has a lot to do with actions, AND with words. Be it to me, others, in ads, posts on message boards, treatment of others, etc. I certainly don't default to "trust no one unless they show me i can" - as I would go crazy with paranoia and suspicion. Instead, I approach lightly, ask questions, pay attention. It always presents itself to me one way or the other. There are few people in my life who I trust explicitly and those I do I regard with the highest admiration and respect because to be able to completely trust someone... to be 100% of who you are, share all of your thoughts, dreams, fantasies, fears, hopes, etc. Is a wonderful gift that person has given you as should be tended and appreciated so it may stand the tests of time. That also means making sure they feel the same of you. Trust cannot be one sided. 3 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CuriousMatt 660 Report post Posted February 13, 2014 (edited) GC although I understand the sentiment, it is a very lonely way to live. This does not mean we trust people unconditionally right from the get go. However as human beings we are social creatures and crave contact with other living beings. There is absolutely nothing like it, when you have developed a long trusting relationship with someone else where you can be free to be yourself and know that you will be accepted for who you really are without any judgement. It also means that you can let your guard down and let someone in, knowing that they won't take advantage and abuse said trust. Sites like this were created specifically to create a safer environment for both hobbyist and MP/SPs. It provides both sides of the equation a safe way to find out more about each other so that you may being trusting each other. It encourages trust because, you can see in black and white as well as in color exactly what is being offered and what expected from both sides of the equation. This helps to minimize the likelihood that a misunderstand will happen which is a real trust killer. Why does this system help engender trust? Because if either side does not adhere to the agreed upon rules, conventions and/or commitments, the ecosystem will find out very quickly and the information will indirectly filter down the pipeline. And before you know it these people will no longer be here. I am new to both this site and hobbying in general, actually 5 days and counting. I have as yet not broken my cherry. This is in no way a negative reflection on the warm, kind, generous and beautiful ladies to be found on this site. It is more due to the fact that I am having a hard time choosing what am I looking for and who I would like to spend my time with. That being said, I have communicated with several very lovely ladies and I have begun trying to finalize a meeting for next week with one in particular. In return I have provided her with some real personal details about myself to extend a trusting hand in her direction in order to make her feel safe. A few days ago, I would never thought I would have felt comfortable enough to trust a complete stranger with that kind of information. However joining this site, reading the numerous posts and looking at the reviews she has received has allowed me to drop my guard down a lot more than I though possible, give her the benefit of the doubt and trust her. She in turn will decide whether or not she can trust me enough in turn to meet with me. So in case it is not obvious, I choose to risk trusting someone after doing some basic due diligence because the potential rewards are in my opinion worth it... As the old adage says "Nothing ventured, nothing gained." Edited February 13, 2014 by CuriousMatt Typos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
roamingguy 300292 Report post Posted February 13, 2014 (edited) I trusted three people...family, two I've known all my life, one I've known for thirty years, and they turned my life upside down literally...so I no longer trust them, nor will I ever trust them. What they did an absolute betrayal and left me feeling hurt, not to mention the mess they made of my life. I have four friends that I trust without reservation. Three of those friends are "civilian", one is a very special lady that I met in this lifestyle. Outside of these four friends, I know a lot more people who I trust in varying degrees but now only four I trust without reservation. A morning rambling RG Edited February 13, 2014 by r__m__g_uy 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest P*rry Report post Posted February 13, 2014 I trust my gut. Over the years I've trusted a number of people. Sadly, I've been disappointed on some occasions. I felt so let down in these instances where the person was a loved one. I've now come to realize that my love or sense of obligation left me blind to reality. These experiences have shaped who I am today and how I approach relationships. I've come to recognize that there are some people who I can trust and there are others who I can't. The tool I use to differentiate between the two is my gut. This tool has always been there. In the past I just wasn't listening. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Miss S. Lane 67128 Report post Posted February 13, 2014 I trusted three people...family, two I've known all my life, one I've known for thirty years, and they turned my life upside down literally...so I no longer trust them, nor will I ever trust them. What they did an absolute betrayal and left me feeling hurt, not to mention the mess they made of my life. RG Ahh yes. I can relate RG. We tolerate more with family for no other reason than because they are family. In any other instance we wouldn't put up with it. I am this way with one of my sisters who has long disrespected me. Now I go about my life and she isn't part of it. Ironic how things play out sometimes. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CristyCurves 169032 Report post Posted February 13, 2014 Ahh yes. I can relate RG. We tolerate more with family for no other reason than because they are family. In any other instance we wouldn't put up with it. I am this way with one of my sisters who has long disrespected me. Now I go about my life and she isn't part of it. Ironic how things play out sometimes. Family rife is more commonplace than I reaIized , I thought I was the only one that came from dysfunction, lol. I too have a sister that is no longer a part of my life and find this heartbreaking. As I don't find evicting family from my life easy, nor comfortable. But some people are so stubborn, self righteous and unforgiving so.... 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gentleman11 10508 Report post Posted February 13, 2014 Over the years I've arrived at the conclusion that trust like respect, is not ordered, it is commanded. As a big Jane Austen fan, I'm reminded of a Pride and Predjudice quote from Mr. Darcy that went along the lines "....once my good opinion of someone is lost, it is gone forever." No back to work, this site makes it hard to do that...... 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Luscious.Tianna 12254 Report post Posted February 13, 2014 Trust is a very hard thing to come by nowadays, I mean I trust a lot of people on various levels, but I dont think I can fully trust anyone, I have had family and very close friends, who have betrayed me on levels that are not even worth thinking about...I always like to give people the benefit of the doubt when I first meet them, however if you give me a reason not to trust you, you will never be able to gain that back Once Trust is broken, it cant be repaired 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Miss S. Lane 67128 Report post Posted February 13, 2014 Family rife is more commonplace than I reaIized , I thought I was the only one that came from dysfunction, lol. I too have a sister that is no longer a part of my life and find this heartbreaking. As I don't find evicting family from my life easy, nor comfortable. But some people are so stubborn, self righteous and unforgiving so.... I agree it is a tough decision to come to - but for our own sanity and well being, we have to do what is best for ourselves sometimes. My sister and I can be civil when together (which is almost never), but have no relationship whatsoever. And I have come to accept that. It's what's best for us both and for the rest of the family if we just stop trying. It was too painful for all involved. I have no time for toxicity in my life - and family or not, I don't deserve the kind of treatment I received from her. Oops! Sorry to hijack. Maybe we should start a "family is messed up" thread lol Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jabba 18389 Report post Posted February 13, 2014 Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful comments all! Honest, heartfelt, warm, articulate - words fail me. Thank you for your inspiration! This thread was intentionally designed with a leading line to inspire controversy and challenge POVs. That's what I do. I'm a slug and an imaginary gangster after all. But what I truly didn't expect was that ironically, my own frigging post decided to challenge me. I'm a respected member of my neighbourhood. I'm a Dad. My child loves me most of the time. I have a dog - he sort of likes me (when I let him up on the bed or the sofa). I pay my taxes. I recycle. I've been to church. Nice institution in theory. The God concept doesn't make any sense to me. Never has. Great music though. Here's the big question - Should I trust myself? I have an SO. I made a commitment to my SO to stay faithful over 20yrs ago. I love her, protect her, have a family life with her - We just don't have sex anymore. Got our own reasons like everyone else. Yet, here I am...a long-standing member of a community who is devoted to exchanging intimacy with strangers. So, I have to ask you, if you were my SO, would you trust me? From an SO/SP POV - Ask yourself the questions - Would you consider me to be trustworthy? Are you holding out on me? Do you have a secret life? Who are your hook-ups? Would you tell me all the juicy, nasty details? How much family money have you spent on hobbying? We all have a reason for being here. I'm not trying to be judgmental - I consider you all to be friends. Thank you all for being here and sharing your experiences. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ice4fun 78407 Report post Posted February 13, 2014 Ahh yes. I can relate RG. We tolerate more with family for no other reason than because they are family. In any other instance we wouldn't put up with it. I am this way with one of my sisters who has long disrespected me. Now I go about my life and she isn't part of it. Ironic how things play out sometimes. Yea we will often tolerate more from our families but I think we also hurt much more when they break our trust with them and as expected they are often the hardest for us forgive. The deeper the level of trust the harder it is to forgive. Just my opinion Additional Comments: I agree it is a tough decision to come to - but for our own sanity and well being, we have to do what is best for ourselves sometimes. My sister and I can be civil when together (which is almost never), but have no relationship whatsoever. And I have come to accept that. It's what's best for us both and for the rest of the family if we just stop trying. It was too painful for all involved. I have no time for toxicity in my life - and family or not, I don't deserve the kind of treatment I received from her. Oops! Sorry to hijack. Maybe we should start a "family is messed up" thread lol Please don't start a messed up family thread.... lololol the Last thing I need is all my family on here posting about me. :) 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest c**io**m7 Report post Posted February 13, 2014 Trust is a very hard thing to come by nowadays, I mean I trust a lot of people on various levels, but I dont think I can fully trust anyone, I have had family and very close friends, who have betrayed me on levels that are not even worth thinking about...I always like to give people the benefit of the doubt when I first meet them, however if you give me a reason not to trust you, you will never be able to gain that backOnce Trust is broken, it cant be repaired You are so right, sadly. Sometimes I hate my caution but...it's there for a reason. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
roamingguy 300292 Report post Posted February 13, 2014 Yea we will often tolerate more from our families but I think we also hurt much more when they break our trust with them and as expected they are often the hardest for us forgive. The deeper the level of trust the harder it is to forgive. Just my opinion Agree with you 100 percent. When my family did to me what they did (four months ago today to be exact) I felt and still feel a sense of betrayal, hurt, anger, shock, and mistrust. Feelings which I still have to this day. Forgive them, why for f*cks sake should I, forget them (not what they did) well I see less and less of them and that's the way I'm liking it RG 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ice4fun 78407 Report post Posted February 13, 2014 (edited) Agree with you 100 percent. When my family did to me what they did (four months ago today to be exact) I felt and still feel a sense of betrayal, hurt, anger, shock, and mistrust. Feelings which I still have to this day. Forgive them, why for f*cks sake should I, forget them (not what they did) well I see less and less of them and that's the way I'm liking itRG RM I completely understand how you feel as I am very much in the same situation with one of my relatives.... I understand that to free myself from this issue with him I need to forgive and move on but to be honest I am not sure I am a Good enough person to do that even though it might be best for me. The Issue is just to important and the pain I feel to raw even after more than 5 years. Like Savannah has said for right now the best thing to do was to just move on. Some pain you just take with you to the grave. Edited February 13, 2014 by Ice4fun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jabba 18389 Report post Posted February 13, 2014 Guys. I can hijack my own thread...I think - are there any rules about that? You're not supposed to hijack my thread - so stop doing it - LOL. Sooo rude!! I don't hijack your threads. Well, maybe I do a little, but not much. The question was: Who do you trust - he or she? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
