APower20 400 Report post Posted January 19, 2010 EDIT: I've decided NOT to go through with the original plan, but instead will try to help my roommate get a job, get some help and get back on his feet...if he'll let me help. I appreciate the responses, but no further posts or PM's are needed to further enforce the negative aspects of the original plan. Cheers . Andrew Okay, so I want to do something nice for my roommate, and have an SP spend some "special time" with him in February. He's been out of the game for 2 years now, and it's starting to get to him. He's depressed, sleeps a lot, has no job, no school, it's a wonder to everyone how he can afford to pay rent. I think if he gets rid of his "blue balls" so to speak, it will be good for him, and he might feel a little bit happier about his life and actually try to get a job or try to find a girlfriend. Basically, I would pay you for your time, introduce you to my roommate as a friend of mine (from school or something), and then say I have to go out and do something, leaving the two of you to get to know each other a bit more intimately. If there are any SP's out there that would be comfortable with an outcall for someone other than the person who is paying for your time, please send me a PM. I'd be very open to increasing your normal rates as this is a special case. Also send me a PM for further details or questions. Just a heads up, he hates "spinners", he's a bigger guy and likes women who can handle him (apparently). Please don't flame me, I realize there are possible negative consequences to what I'm doing, but I'm just trying to do something nice for my friend. Again, if interested. PM me. Cheers, Andrew P.S. Mods, if this is in the wrong spot, please move it to the proper spot. Cheers! 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Megan'sTouch 23875 Report post Posted January 19, 2010 Sounds like this could be a recipe for disaster. If your roommate wants to spend time with a SP, that's one thing. Tricking him is probably not a good idea. How do you think he will feel if this woman is all into him, and sleeps with him, then won't see him again until he pays $$$ ? That could do more harm than good. I'm sure your intentions are good. Why not just tell him the truth and let him decide for himself? 7 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
APower20 400 Report post Posted January 19, 2010 I was thinking this would be a one time thing, leave him with no way to contact her...telling him the truth would kind of negate the point of the situation I was trying to make. But I get what you're saying...it's a bad idea. :sad: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
buggernot 588 Report post Posted January 19, 2010 Actually, it's not that bad an idea BUT deception is not the way to go. Just tell him, "Dude, I'm gonna get you laid", break down to him what it is you're doing and how/why you know about it, and it could turn out alright. Granted, what he really needs is a job and some anti-depressants, but the simple act of getting laid could be a small step in the right direction. If it's a trick and does not go well, the potential to make things worse is huge. Trust me on this one... Posted via Mobile Device 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
APower20 400 Report post Posted January 19, 2010 Good point. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
belladonna 279 Report post Posted January 19, 2010 I think it's a very sweet thing to do for your friend, and I believe that those little white lies are OK in times of desperation. However, what would be worrying is if he finds out about your ruse. Are you ready for how he would react? Is he OK with the idea of being with an sp? Would he be able to trust you again? I say, go for it, I'm sure there are open-minded and adventure seeking BBW service providers that would love to help you out. His story is a sad one, I am happy to say that I have never been as depressed as you describe your friend to be, I would do pretty much anything to get my friend out of such a demeaning state of mind. Let me know how it goes if you decide to act upon your idea. It sounds like a fun romantic comedy to me! (Or a horror movie?) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Newton 714 Report post Posted January 19, 2010 I wish I had a friend like u years ago. But I want to be told b4 hand. ;) Posted via Mobile Device Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
APower20 400 Report post Posted January 19, 2010 He's the only one that knows about my hobbying, and he has said he would be interested in it as well...but simply can't afford it. At the moment, I'm leaning towards this being a bad idea and probably won't go through with it. I asked him today what kind of women he preferred, and told him that I need to get him laid, but didn't mention anything specific. He basically droned on about how unlikely it would be for any woman to sleep with him. Also he's clarified that he likes chubby women, or average, not super skinny. Although I'm sure he'd jump at the chance to sleep with any woman. I'll try to subtly/hypothetically say something about paying an SP to spend time with him, see what his reaction is, if positive, I would be more comfortable doing this for him. @buggernot: he's on anti-depressants, and claims that they make him have no sex drive and sleep 12-16 hours a day :-? He's been "trying" to get a job since last April. I've ignored the situation most of the time I've lived with him, but lately his being somewhat proud of sleeping 18 hours straight and skirting (not doing) his chores regularly has taken a toll on both myself and my other roommate. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Parker 19761 Report post Posted January 19, 2010 You're right... it could be a bad idea. Medication can actually mess with sex drive, especially an erection. Maybe if you talked to your friend he'd actually be into it? My concern is if he's having sexual difficulty, an escort may not help. If she's all ready to go and he can't perform... it might just make him feel worse. I think everyone jumping down your throat for deception should take a step back and a long hard look at themselves. I really dislike coming to cerb to see a bunch of people jumping down one persons through for something most of us do... deceive and lie. Just my personal opinion... 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
geo007 203 Report post Posted January 19, 2010 My 2 cents. I'd offer it to him straight up. I'd do that for my good buds if I thought it would be a solution. I don't think it would help him out of his problems though but who knows. He would at least be happy for an hour. Tell him to ease off the pills on that morning. Another more worthwhile effort would be to try to find him a job, even part-time to get him back on track. That's what he needs to get some self-esteem back. Maybe you've already tried that. At least you are trying to help him which is commendable. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cato 160314 Report post Posted January 19, 2010 When I agreed with Megan's point, I wasn't being moralistic, Naomi. It just seems like a bad idea in the circumstances of someone who's depressed; if that person found out and felt himself manipulated, it would make matters worse. It's a question of prudence, not moralising. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Parker 19761 Report post Posted January 19, 2010 My post was not directed at anyone.. If anything I was applying it to myself. I'm not going to tell someone it's bad to lie when I lie all the time. I'm sorry if anyone thought I was directing it at them. I try to speak in general terms and not really call people on their decisions as I am not the best decision maker in the world either. xo When I agreed with Megan's point, I wasn't being moralistic, Naomi. It just seems like a bad idea in the circumstances of someone's who's depressed; if that person found out and felt himself manipulated, it would make matters worse. It's a question of prudence, not moralising. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cato 160314 Report post Posted January 19, 2010 No problem, Naomi. That gave me a chance to clarify what I meant. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
APower20 400 Report post Posted January 19, 2010 I've looked for jobs for him, as have his other friends. I haven't gone as far as handing in his resumes for him, more so just getting him out of bed and out the door. The original idea which could be good for him is that he would think he was "hot stuff" and that girl's were interested in him. But telling him the truth would basically be like him ordering pizza because he's too lazy to get groceries (that's a metaphor, I'm not saying escorts are pizza, only that he would objectify women), if he knows that sex is on speed dial it would just be even more detrimental to his situation. As for his sex drive, he's been on this medication for years, and has had a girlfriend in that time...with apparently a healthy dose of horizontal tango. As has been made apparent, the cons outweigh the pros of actually doing this for him. Thanks to everyone for the response. Perhaps I should try something else... /thread Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hunknhot 1067 Report post Posted January 19, 2010 Bad idea.... This could just put him over the edge... sounds like pity to me by tricking him.. thats just me though.. Actually, I plan on setting up one of my TO friends who is going through a hard time. He doesn't really have trouble finding dates and relationships but I want to expose him to someone... enchanting... just want to give him that new life experience and awakening... I will tell him first.. I have hinted to him for a while now and he is basically saying "go for it".. it's my dime anyway... well more than a dime but he is my buddy and he is worth it ;) Why not just setup the date. Then tell him you did something special for him... Tell him you wanted to give him a boost and that he is your buddy... He will appreciate you care for him and respect him. if he say no, well, you go ;) Guys never like to tell each other they care about each.. doesn't mean you are gay.. means you a good friend.. a brother... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Bardot 99339 Report post Posted January 20, 2010 (edited) Sounds like an issue with motivation. I mean, yes, even if it's something he's been on for a while, there is a possibility that his body has adapted to the dose & that it's time to either switch kinds or increase the dosage. This is something he needs to discuss with his doctor, if he is suddenly experiencing new side effects - and not in a month, but soon. [side note: Not a wise idea to "lay off" anti-depressants to ensure your mojo is optimal. If ADs are causing sexual dysfunction, then a trip to the doctor, not playing doctor by tinkering with the dosage on your own, is the answer. There are many different classes and types of ADs, and quite a few carry low or no sexual side effects.] On the other hand, he's been coasting jobless and aimless for how long now? It may not be desirable for him to be in this position, but his rent gets paid and he doesn't have to do anything all day? He's gotten comfortable in his apathy. Personally, I think he needs a kick in the arse rather than to get laid. Edited January 20, 2010 by K****d** Wording. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest W***ledi*Time Report post Posted January 20, 2010 I don't pretend to know anything about this roommate. But one thing I do know for sure about clinical depression: it is not laziness, and it is the farthest thing from "comfort" imaginable. Pray you never learn this lesson first-hand for yourself. Cheers, Wrinkled Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
E.D. man 691 Report post Posted January 20, 2010 It took me 2tears to find a job at one time in my life. He needs to low`er is expectations and even take a minium wage job weather its at subway, mcdonalds, loblaws or security. its always easier to get a better job when your employed even if its part-time. I now work a half decent job with medical dental and a small retirement plan for rthe future. So if he wants a job there are a lot out there!!!8-) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
buggernot 588 Report post Posted January 20, 2010 You're right... it could be a bad idea. Medication can actually mess with sex drive, especially an erection. Maybe if you talked to your friend he'd actually be into it? My concern is if he's having sexual difficulty, an escort may not help. If she's all ready to go and he can't perform... it might just make him feel worse. I think everyone jumping down your throat for deception should take a step back and a long hard look at themselves. I really dislike coming to cerb to see a bunch of people jumping down one persons through for something most of us do... deceive and lie. Just my personal opinion... Unless there was a post that was deleted here, I don't see anyone jumping on the OP or being hypocritical for cautioning against deception. Of course this whole game has a huge deceptive angle for everybody involved, but those are choices we make for ourselves. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
APower20 400 Report post Posted January 20, 2010 I think I'll try to find him a job, his standards for one aren't super high, the most he wants is a full-time job...he's been applying to coffee shops and hardware stores...supposedly. Also I don't feel like I've been jumped on, more so that people are just voicing their concerns, most of which I've already thought of, and everyone has helped further enforce the negative aspects of what I was originally trying to do. I appreciate the responses. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Parker 19761 Report post Posted January 20, 2010 Unless there was a post that was deleted here, I don't see anyone jumping on the OP or being hypocritical for cautioning against deception. Of course this whole game has a huge deceptive angle for everybody involved, but those are choices we make for ourselves. Correct me if I'm wrong, but were the first replies not about how deceiving him was wrong? "Jumping" was probably the wrong word to use here.. I talk funny a lot and I type like I talk... what I was trying to say was; "...to see people shooting down one person's idea over something most of us do..." The idea wasn't that horrible... I'm sure lots of guys would like if their buddy hired them an escort. /shrug Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
buggernot 588 Report post Posted January 20, 2010 Correct me if I'm wrong, but were the first replies not about how deceiving him was wrong? "Jumping" was probably the wrong word to use here.. I talk funny a lot and I type like I talk... what I was trying to say was; "...to see people shooting down one person's idea over something most of us do..." The idea wasn't that horrible... I'm sure lots of guys would like if their buddy hired them an escort. /shrug No, you are correct - but I guess my slant on what was being said is that it was suggested deception might possibly have an adverse effect, so caution was warranted. Personally I would love it right now if a friend splurged and got me an escort. But 15 years ago when I was basically in a similar situation as said roommate, probably not. It's not a deception like a surprise birthday party, and it's someone who is likely clinically depressed and hopeless. And some guys perceive the act of paying for sex to be pathetic or desperate. Taking a chance on something as emotionally charged as a sexual encounter could make things worse unless you're confident that it is an experience a friend can easily depersonalize if necessary. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Megan'sTouch 23875 Report post Posted January 20, 2010 Correct me if I'm wrong, but were the first replies not about how deceiving him was wrong? My post wasn't looking at morals or right or wrong. The original poster wanted to help his friend, and I suggested that his plan could potentially hurt his friend more than help him. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cordsboy 184 Report post Posted January 20, 2010 My 2 cents... You are definitely a great friend and care about your roommate. I am of the opinion that your idea is worth exploring, you may need to make a few adjustments 1. Have him meet her at a bar and not as your friend, thus the association to you is removed and no need to worry about him asking to hook you up again. She just has to say she is in Ottawa on business, is married and horny and just needs to blow off some stress. 2.make sure the SP is clear on the story 3.be prepared to do some explaining if he finds out. Worse case scenario, if you do not want to do this for your buddy due to concerns with his mental health, I will volunteer to be the recipient of your generosity. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TracieGold 282 Report post Posted January 20, 2010 I see your point. You are trying to get your friend interested in life again. You are a great friend to him and someday you and him will chat about all this. At the moment the best help you can find for him is a doctor appointment to assess his depression and see if it is an organic or clinical depression, orif he is just disoriented about what turn to take in this life. Anyone of us will be happy to make him satisfied sexually and he may feel when that happens, but...........he is going to hate you and us for the deception. The worst thing you can do to someone is playing with his/her feelings. His condtion will only aggravate after knowing the truth of our presence in his life and he will get worst rather than better. Let a doctor assess his mind and diagnose him properly. There are wonderful groups for people suffering from mental imbalances, particularly in January, when everything is "blue" for most of us (S.affective disorder or SAD) I wish I had a friend like you are in the past when I was dealing with my own depression issues.....get a grip on him and make an appointment with a family doctor;be with him;show him he is not alone; chat and let him sleep if he needs; help him to pay his first order of medications and you will regain your friend.....you are a sweet man and God will repay your kindness.....take him t a doctor...when he is better give him Cerb.ca ist of wonderful ladies,,,,he will take care of the rest..... bless your hear darling!!!! Tracie:rolleyes: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
