equality

[CristyCurves 169032]

There are many threads here and on other sites that allow hobbyists to vent about sp's and in some cases for good reason. But why can't we do the same with the hobbyists? If I or an other sp or many sp's had a bad dealing with a hobbyist why can't I openly post here to warn others and to discuss my experience? Bad behavior is bad behavior be it from a hobbyist or an sp, and the "discretion" rule only protects those hobbyists who aim to act this way whether it be with one or many. So naming his handle and indiscretion is only fair, imo. I am all for privacy and discretion and I protect those who treat me well with ABSOLUTE secrecy but I also feel the need to "out" those who set out to do harm, cause problems or are just out to get their kicks messing with an sp. Those gentlemen don't deserve the right to hobby amongst gentlemen in privacy and we ALL should know who they are, shouldn't we?

On another note- if an sp has knowledge of an sp that should be avoided shouldn't that info be posted in a warnings section with the reason, not pm'ed privately to their clients?

Pm's containing that type of info is gossip or could be construed as gossip, no matter if it is from client to sp, sp to client, sp to sp, or hobbyist to hobbyist. After all if this person is a risk and the point of the pm is to protect shouldn't we all know about him or her so we all can be safe?

[Guest c**io**m7]

I am not an expert on Cerb and it's areas but, anything negative written by a hobbyist is scrutinized and, can result in an infraction. I know, I have one and I only implied something negative.

 

Isn't there an SP only section to share the info you speak of? If not, there should be.

[Cute0aza0Button 21399]

I am not an expert on Cerb and it's areas but, anything negative written by a hobbyist is scrutinized and, can result in an infraction. I know, I have one and I only implied something negative.

 

Isn't there an SP only section to share the info you speak of? If not, there should be.

 

There is. I was recently added and it's been a great resource. I wish I had access from the start lol

 

No always understood that CERB was a rec not review site? I've never noticed anything negative unless it was a dangerous situation like b and s

[CristyCurves 169032]

I am aware of the sp only area. My point of this thread and discussion is to understand why some can only be spoken about in private areas and others openly? I am not speaking about reviews either. This is about everyone knowing who is harmful and who isn't, man or women. I think if an sp or a hobbyist is "dangerous" then they should be posted about but not privately. If a hobbyist is discussed in the sp area only and he is a danger, that info IS SUPPOSED to remain there so how will others know? and shouldn't everyone know, hobbysists and sp's alike? After all a bad hobbyist is no more tolerated amongst hobbyists as he would be amongst sp's but how would any know if they can only be discussed in a closed forum? Just trying to understand.

[Midnite-Energies 110563]

I agree that as SP's or Hobbyists we both have a right to security and to protecting ourselves from those who might do us harm in some way. I don't believe a general public "outing" is necessarily a good thing because it stirs a mob mentality where everyone wants to pile on board and bash.

 

Having a private area for SP's to discuss these issues is wonderful and protects us from potentially harmful situations. I do however think at least THIS section should be readily available to all provider's meeting certain criteria such as (reco, website, pics etc.) within a shorter time span. It only takes one unsafe situation to ruin a life.

 

We do have a section for B&S and such which is also a good thing.

 

Personal discussions between people are more widespread then we thin,k I believe, and I would love to think they are done in the spirit of safety and protection and not other more negative reasons. I know there have been gossip and rumors started both in truth and in lies; some to punish and harm a lady and her business and likewise hurt a gentleman's ability to hobby. Also some "feedback" is also personal in nature.

 

My wish is that people begin taking responsibility for themselves, treating others as they would wish to be treated and keeping conversation based on mutual respect and truth. We are all just trying to live life in the best way we can and I think we've all probably had a situation where someone is trying to screw us over for whatever reason. It's not a pleasant situation to deal with. Think for yourselves, get second opinions, don't believe everything you hear and validate your sources. Keep yourself safe so you can enjoy what life has to offer.

 

I like CERB because you can't just come here and vent and cause disturbances and say all sorts of bad and negative stuff. Who wants to live or work in that sort of environment? This industry has enough crap and baggage of it's own without causing more.

[Guest c**io**m7]

I think what is at issue Cristy is that anything negative is only hearsay until it is verified, if it is verified.

 

Things like B&S are easily verified.

 

I think this really brings us back to the point that Cerb is a reco board...and the spirit of the board is to ensure as little negativity as possible.

 

I do agree with you. There should be somewhere for open disclosure of verifiable bad situations. The fact is, there is no easy solution.

 

As a member of other 'erb boards I can tell you that the exchanges between hobbyists and SPs can get pretty heated when one says something about the other that is "not nice". Do we want Cerb to become a playground for this type of thing? What could be reasonably be done to ensure a forum of which you speak does not become a battle ground?

[Ice4fun 78407]

From my perspective Bad Behaviour is Bad Behaviour regardless if it's an SP or A Client and both should expect that it will be shared in the community. If you commit the offense then you will have to deal with the consequences.

 

Now that said the real question is... what should be the venue of this sharing. I personally like the fact that CERB has chosen the positive post only approach because I would fear that if we didn't people would default to airing all of there petty differences here on the site. We are talking about encounters between real people they will not always be everything we hoped but only a small fraction will cross that line and need for safety reasons to be shared.

 

So the compromise... SP's have their own private area where they can share bad experiences and protect each other and their businesses and men have PM's on CERB and a multitude of other sites if they want to bitch.

 

For me personally unless the encounter crossed the line of safety for the client or other SP's I would prefer to just consider disappointing encounters to incompatibility.... not every one is a good match.... just move on.

 

Mind you being the nosey bastard I am I would love to read all the info in the SP private area....you know all that info about the bad clients an the glowing info about my sexual prowess........ ok once you all have gotten up from rolling on the floor laughing I hope you all have a great Saturday and remember if you are meeting a lady treat her like the CERB Goddess she is.

 

Just my opinion

[CristyCurves 169032]

I agree that as SP's or Hobbyists we both have a right to security and to protecting ourselves from those who might do us harm in some way. I don't believe a general public "outing" is necessarily a good thing because it stirs a mob mentality where everyone wants to pile on board and bash.

 

 

I like CERB because you can't just come here and vent and cause disturbances and say all sorts of bad and negative stuff. Who wants to live or work in that sort of environment? This industry has enough crap and baggage of it's own without causing more.

 

I know I'm not always great at explaining myself or putting into a thread my intent. So let me try again-

We have a warnings section, in this section we can post about bait and switch, robbery, set ups or other things that will put a hobbyist at risk, we ALL can read this-hobbyists and sp's. Why in this section can't an sp write about a hobbyist that set her up, stole her money, got physical, became threatening or other dangerous behavior? Shouldn't other hobbyists know about these men as well? If that man is ONLY spoken about in the sp area only the sps in that area will know and that info is to stay there, so how do you warn the rest of the community about such a danger?

I too wouldn't want cerb to turn into a bash fest and can't for see how it would change if my suggestion were allowed. Unless some believe sp's are more apt to lie about hobbyists then vice versa?

[mod 135640]

WE DO NOT ALLOW VENTING OR NEGATIVE THREADS ON CERB.

 

If anyone feels the need to vent they are to go to another site or create a blog or something outside of cerb (and please DO NOT reference such sites or blogs here either).

 

The SP ONLY area is not for complaining or venting either. If someone was a bad date the ladies can post info about that to share with the others, they can also discuss more sensitive matters and ask each other for help and to answer questions with each other that may not be appropriate in public view but it's purpose it not to vent or complain. It's a community area so they can help each other.

 

If somene vents or post negative comments of ANY KIND on cerb just report the post. We (The Mods) do not read all the posts. We only read the ones that get flagged so if you see this please click the REPORT POST icon at the top of the offending post and we will deal with it.

[fortunateone 156618]

Perhaps what cristy is talking about is more along the line of the Warnings section here. If an sp is known to be a thief, for example taking money and slipping out the front door and running off, is that reported in the Warnings?

 

I tend not to read them but if it is only a case of fake pics, then that is a different story.

 

One thing I have seen on another site is a warning about someone (client) goes up and the sps are expected to pm for the full phone # or contact info. This is done for extreme cases, and after several reports might be received. One recent one was someone who went into an sp's bedroom (her sessions are done in the main area of her apartment, taken his fee and another 150 out of her purse, proceeded with his appointment, and left. She didn't see the theft until afterwards, and reported it to susi who posted on her behalf. Later susi was able to recover the majority of the $$ and that was reported.

 

Another case was a site member who had been banned before, but had created a rather credible online persona. It turns out however that he and his cohort would contact sps they felt were 'new' and harass them for bbfs 'or else'. In order to justify getting it, they would produce clean test results. We don't know how many they contacted or coerced before one visiting sp publicly reported them, and others finally admitted it had happened to them as well. The site in the past had no sp lounge, and no way for any sps to report wrongdoing other than reporting by pm. Again, susi stepped in, and ended up being harassed and the recipient of multiple phone calls/text abuse from these guys.

 

Before this however, in the past, anyone seeing their online posts would never suspect they were trying to extort free and bbfs from sps.

 

Sometimes just knowing the MO of how these guys operate is useful info for the sps who cannot get access to private areas, and also serves as a lesson for those who think they can get away with it themselves. Everyone knows that a very small percentage of review site members try to extort things from sps, almost every sp has been contacted by at least one person who threatens a bad review if they don't get what they want.

[mod 135640]

If its a dangerous encounter reported by a long term reputable member i will sometimes allow it..... But really its for confirmed fake photos.

[Sweet Emily J 172062]

There are many threads here and on other sites that allow hobbyists to vent about sp's and in some cases for good reason. But why can't we do the same with the hobbyists?

 

I think if an sp or a hobbyist is "dangerous" then they should be posted about but not privately.

 

The Sex Professionals of Canada has a public bad date client list here: http://www.spoc.ca/bad.html.

 

And SPOC public "undesirables" list": http://www.spoc.ca/undesirable.html

 

All providers are welcome to view those lists, and all providers can report a bad/undesirable date to SPOC, if they have something to share, and feel comfortable doing so.

 

Providers can also report issues they have with CERB members directly to mod, and he can take action with the member's account if he deems it necessary. But if someone is really "dangerous", they should be reported to the police above and before anything else.

 

Otherwise, I think it's obvious why we have private areas for trusted & vetted independent providers to share dicey info about lesser offences like no-shows, time-wasters, rudeness, bad hygiene, hagglers, bbfs requests, etc. It's sensitive information and public knowledge of it is potentially problematic on many levels. I do understand what you're saying, but there is so many things to take into consideration, and it's a delicate issue.