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[CristyCurves 169032]

I feel like there are some contradictions in some of the posts here. Some elude to friendships don't happen when paid, yet on other posts it's been said that you can become friends when in a pain relationship.

Regardless, I feel it best, when in a paid relationship to keep it that way. I would think that drama may be more likely or more dangerous when one knows someone personally, when the two move from paid to friendship.

Either way, I'll never understand wanting someone that doesn't want you. I also believe that either side can be subject to inappropriate behavior.

After all, some companions move on as well, simply because we want to move on, not because of anything nefarious or negative.

[WealthyCowboy 5281]

Cristy, there certainly are contradictions everywhere here. But I'd like to point to the ''hybrid'' scenario where you are both friend and frisky buddy.

 

I give another example from my life here on cerb and the Ottawa scene. Some ladies maintain regular communication with me outside their work. In some instances, the lady is initiating and continuing contact with me by text, calls or emails. I've had some ladies that must have spent 2-3 hours of their day sending hundreds of texts back and forth with me playfully. And I was very happy and grateful to receive them. I believe it was mutual. So to put it in perspective, if I am seeing someone for 1 or 2 hours in a week and they spend 3 hours texting, talking and messaging, I take it as a sign that perhaps we are a bit more than just a business relationship. Especially if they are sending personal photos of themselves, their pet and friends. These are the kind of people that I could be connected to for life, even if we didn't keep a physical interaction. I'd still offer them a helping hand, a shoulder to lean on and my time and companionship when they needed it.

 

In these cases, if it unfortunately has to come to an end, the ''break-up'' really feels like a break-up. I personally don't like hurting anyone's feelings and I'm telling you, it happens more often than you think.

 

Also, I am reading some posts here focusing on the paid friendship aspect. I have personally always seen the exchange not so much as payment but as me taking care of someone who is taking care of me. I think folks get caught up on the paper currency aspect of it, but on a more primal and basic level, the male is providing the female with resources (money for shelter, food, clothing, etc). Isn't that often the case in some male-female relationship? (I recognize that there are many women out there who do not depend on a man, and some women are the ones taking care of their man. Just saying.)

 

I perceive some sort of negative reaction when we talk about paying for companionship. It shouldn't be, IMO. In my non-industry relationships in the past, it was not uncommon for me to drop tens of thousands of dollars a year on a girlfriend in cars, gifts, travel, restaurants, shopping, etc. None of my past gf's ever asked me for something. I gave because I wanted to give and we had a great time exploring the world together.

 

So why focus on the payment? Why can't we just look at it as taking care of or helping a casual gf or a friend? (and if the lady is already wealthy and I'm still paying her, then I'd have to amend my position and say that I am spoiling someone I care about :icon_biggrin:)

[CristyCurves 169032]

Yes WC I know but when I say paid, it's just a term to separate this business from what I consider other types of friendships/relationships. Because and as you mentioned, in a gf, bf, married relationship monies are still exchanged. But for different reasons and I believe with expectations for different outcomes.

Now I'm not speaking for anyone or representing my self but you must keep in mind that some companions/clients are sly, only business minded and manipulative. They know how to groom someone to get what they need from them and "friending " them can be a way. Not saying it is so in your case, most certainly, but this does happen, and again for that reason, when $ are the main reason for meeting, and remember, it's the envelope that's always presented first, it's best to keep them that way. But to each their own:)

[Eric Northman 16522]

WC, your point is very interesting and a novel way of thinking about it. Perhaps it helps you put a particular perspective for yourself on the 'relationship' that appeals to you.

 

That being said, I think that many might view being thought of that way as condescending. I think quite a few companions take great pride in being fiercely independent business women. They provide a service, advertise, market, manage and operate it in a complex environment with a lot of variables, difficult customers and other challenges.

 

Not implying that your mode of thought is insulting but (putting on my feminist hat), it might be seen as a bit patriarchal.

 

Back to the currently discussed topic. I agree that the majority of companions "breaking up" with clients is due to bad behavior from the client but I can think of at least a couple other reasons. One, retirement. Sometimes people leave the business. And two, getting too attached. I've read right here on CERB and even spoken to ladies who've been in a situation where they found themselves developing feelings for someone and had to break it off. I actually had to do that myself with a friend (not an escort) for whom my feelings were inappropriate and un-reciprocated. I broke it off to protect my heart but it was painful nonetheless and left a big hole in my life.

 

Anyone think of other perfectly innocent reasons why someone would break off the relationship? I know people aren't generalizing but it kind of feels like beat up the client day here.

[Bianca Jaguar 39183]

I'm ready to answer another question...lol

 

Bianca xxx

[Guest D***el B***e]

I have another questions for the ladies: On a lighter note, do you all have a gift wishlist created on the web. I, for one, am always scrambling to bring a lil extra to the lady I visit, and I'm getting bored of arriving with MAC, Aritzia, and assorted gift cards. What's your opinion on setting up a wish list, so I can arrive at your location with a big shoe box of shoes YOU'VE selected, or perfume you need?

[Bianca Jaguar 39183]

I have another questions for the ladies: On a lighter note, do you all have a gift wishlist created on the web. I, for one, am always scrambling to bring a lil extra to the lady I visit, and I'm getting bored of arriving with MAC, Aritzia, and assorted gift cards. What's your opinion on setting up a wish list, so I can arrive at your location with a big shoe box of shoes YOU'VE selected, or perfume you need?

 

That's a very good idea...I do have a wishlist but it's not related to my website or up to date for that matter...

 

Thank you Daniel :)

 

Bianca

[Tallrichsexy 1546]

What is the proper protocol for an after tip ? Always wondered if their is a percentage that is standard for great service ? Thanks

[fortunateone 156618]

I have a question for the ladies ... If you have an ultra regular client, I mean someone you've seen regularly, say once every ten days, for a few years and have enjoyed your time with him tremendously, and for whatever reasons, he decides to move on and somehow break the relationship, what is the best way you would like to find out? Of course at that point and after such a length of time it's become more than a business relationship, so what's your angle on this?

 

 

I would say, I will find out when he stops contacting me for appts.

 

He doesn't owe me an explanation.

 

I don't deal in emails, phone calls only, so it is unlikely someone is going to call me up and tell me, or announce it in their 'last' appt. I've had guys disappear for a year, then show up and let me know they moved to another province for that year but came back. Others may be in ill health, a long break they tell me they were in hospital. A much longer break with no contact, I can only assume the worst, but even still it is no one's business but theirs what they do with their time.

 

Some may lose their job, their last appt with me indicates that, and i don't hear from them again. I used to have one semi regular after a break would let me know he'd been seeing someone for a while, lol.

 

if i enjoy someone's company that doesn't change just because a situation changed. I've worked other jobs that i connect with coworkers, and customers, and other relationships, but when the job ends, so do these connections with no hard feelings. They were always business relationships, not BFF friendships, they don't owe me anything, i don't owe them anything either. we interacted due to one specific reason, without that reason, there is no connection.

[Bianca Jaguar 39183]

Never heard of any protocole...it goes from no tip at all to very generous tips and gifts...

 

You decide ;)...whatever you will give will be appreciated.

 

Bianca

[fortunateone 156618]

What is the proper protocol for an after tip ? Always wondered if their is a percentage that is standard for great service ? Thanks

 

I don't think there is a % in this type of service. But I also don't think that if you are seeing an independent sp, as opposed to an mp or agency provider, that it isn't necessary to add a tip unless you feel their asking rate is too low. With those you might consider being an employee, where what you pay is not what she gets, another 20 on top of the fee goes a long way.

[roamingguy 300292]

What is the proper protocol for an after tip ? Always wondered if their is a percentage that is standard for great service ? Thanks

 

Well speaking for me I give a gift and tip I won't say publically how much...thats private

But for me an encounter has an intangible value far exceeding any donation asked for

I hope my gift/tip giving shows just how much I value their companionship

As for protocol I have the gift in a gift bag upon arrival. And a tip given at the end of the date

I don't know if thats an answer

 

RG

[CristyCurves 169032]

Tallrichsexy, I've received as low as 50$ and as high as 700$ tip for an hourly appt. So that being said, if you want to tip the amount is totally up to you. A tip shows that you enjoyed the time beyond the donation, that's how I see it. I'd never feel obligated if I were you, but the receiver certainly is made to feel special because it sends a strong message that you felt the time was special:)

[Zoe Makeda 140]

I have another questions for the ladies: On a lighter note, do you all have a gift wishlist created on the web. I, for one, am always scrambling to bring a lil extra to the lady I visit, and I'm getting bored of arriving with MAC, Aritzia, and assorted gift cards. What's your opinion on setting up a wish list, so I can arrive at your location with a big shoe box of shoes YOU'VE selected, or perfume you need?

 

Hi Daniel,

 

For a long time, I've viewed the "Wish-list" as the portrait of a needy attitude. But, as I meet financially successful gentlemen, more than once will they ask me or try to think about the best gift to offer me. I'm always quite touched and taken by surprise.

 

Of course, if your idea is to surprise your Lady, the Wish-list is a must. However, if you don't mind the Lady knowing about it beforehand, I could suggest asking her a few days before your date and take that time to shop for it. OR, you could bring her on a date at her prefered boutique. Again, it depends if being seen in public with a Lady is possible. As you know, there's many gifts that requires the Lady to actually shop for it herself (especially clothing items).

 

So, I haven't put a Wish-list on my website yet, but it will be something that will appear soon enough.

 

Zoe, xXx

[mrgreen760 37785]

Personally don't and have never tipped over and above the agreed upon payment. It's a business arrangement in my mind and repeating is a pretty good tip. That being said I did gift a pint of a new Haggen Daz flavour I was quite enjoying at the time..

 

Peace

MG

[Andee 220524]

As an Indy, my position is that a tip is not expected but if I do receive one, I am always appreciative.

 

I have been tipped anywhere from $5 to $100 depending on the length of appointment.

[Eric Northman 16522]

I'm kind of weird with tipping. I tend not to in general but if I'm getting a discount for some reason, I tend to tip back up to what the regular price would be. Like, occasionally someone was offering a limited time special or offered a "customer relations" type discount because of some mixup (late or rescheduling an appt, etc.). Then I use the tip to "make them whole" so to speak. My normal inclination would be more towards a gift. I do something similar in restaurants with coupons or whatever. Tip against what it would have been, not what it is.

 

I would also tip if I felt the service was really over and above what I had expected or if, for some reason, I was either late or ran a little over time. I'm usually very scrupulous about not staying late but it has happened once or twice when I lost track of time. How rude!

 

Speaking of rude...this is the 'Ask an Escort' thread...not the 'ask a client' thread. Is it inappropriate for us to participate or should we be strictly asking questions and listening to answers? I'm kind of late to the party and haven't read the first 35 pages or so.

[Tempted Monk 5057]

...

A client should NOT develop feelings for a companion and if he does he should walk away instead of making things weird....

 

Interesting statement Emily, especially from the Lady who is definitely "material" for developing feelings. Probably, it is based on experience and I respect this.

But as a client I choose the Lady considering her personality, I want to develop some feeling. Without any feeling it is just something mechanical and I don't want it this way. Am I wrong? And it is not necessary to walk away - just have feeling but don't make things weird. Maybe not that simple to do but all this industry is not simple. Just my personal opinion.

[Aellyn Rose 350]

But as a client I choose the Lady considering her personality, I want to develop some feeling. Without any feeling it is just something mechanical and I don't want it this way. Am I wrong? And it is not necessary to walk away - just have feeling but don't make things weird. Maybe not that simple to do but all this industry is not simple. Just my personal opinion.

 

I think there is a distinction between feelings and chemistry. I personally screen on chemistry, so that we both have a fun time and it's not "mechanical" as you said - but do we want feelings involved, meaning someone hurt down the line? No!

[roamingguy 300292]

Interesting statement Emily, especially from the Lady who is definitely "material" for developing feelings. Probably, it is based on experience and I respect this.

But as a client I choose the Lady considering her personality, I want to develop some feeling. Without any feeling it is just something mechanical and I don't want it this way. Am I wrong? And it is not necessary to walk away - just have feeling but don't make things weird. Maybe not that simple to do but all this industry is not simple. Just my personal opinion.

 

Maybe it's me or this early hour LOL but when I hear the term feelings used it conveys the idea of like and affection beyond just chemistry/connection and even friends. Feelings to me means the "L" word....yes love. Whether real or puppy love

This is supposed to be no strings and drama free. A lady wants a good client, not a boyfriend

And most gentlemen like this lifestyle because there are no next day phone calls etc

Love implies lots of strings and a drama in the making and in this lifestyle would usually be one way without feelings reciprocated

A early morning rambling

 

RG

[EmilyRushton 253367]

Interesting statement Emily, especially from the Lady who is definitely "material" for developing feelings. Probably, it is based on experience and I respect this.

But as a client I choose the Lady considering her personality, I want to develop some feeling. Without any feeling it is just something mechanical and I don't want it this way. Am I wrong? And it is not necessary to walk away - just have feeling but don't make things weird. Maybe not that simple to do but all this industry is not simple. Just my personal opinion.

 

Chemistry is not emotions or feelings its a connection. You can't buy chemistry or pretend its their. You either have it or you don't. There is a HUGE difference between chemistry and feelings and the two should not be confused with one another.

 

I won't spend any amount of time with anyone that I don't have chemistry with, there is no point. However if you choose to wreck great chemistry with the confusion that you love me - its bye bye. No amount of money or great company is worth the problems feelings cause. If you had feelings for your doctor you would probably find a new one, same goes with a companion. I hate having to be blunt and to the point, but there are ALOT of people out there who this its ok to cross the line when it comes to feelings.

[travelfreak 600]

I had the opposite happen to me a few years ago, the lady gave me all her contact information when our appointment was over and let's just say I was a little baffled over that. She insisted that I contact her and we should go out one night and have some fun. We ended up seeing each other over an 8 month period but the long distance relationship thing didn't work out. So I think both parties can get affected by the "feelings" part, not just the clients. If it happens it happens, nothing we can do about it ;)

[WealthyCowboy 5281]

Maybe it's me or this early hour LOL but when I hear the term feelings used it conveys the idea of like and affection beyond just chemistry/connection and even friends. Feelings to me means the "L" word....yes love. Whether real or puppy love

This is supposed to be no strings and drama free. A lady wants a good client, not a boyfriend

And most gentlemen like this lifestyle because there are no next day phone calls etc

Love implies lots of strings and a drama in the making and in this lifestyle would usually be one way without feelings reciprocated

A early morning rambling

 

RG

 

 

RG: You sure are up early! I was not implying in my previous posts that ''feelings'' necessarily mean love (although it can), so I guess it will mean different things to different people. Perhaps puppy love is a good way to describe how it begins. I would say it is a feeling that you really like this person (more than just chemistry) and you could perhaps see yourself dating this person or being in a relationship with them if it is mutual. I believe love is something that is built over time and knowing the other person a lot better, but it can happen here too. Also, when you said ''A lady wants a good client, not a boyfriend'', that is not always the case (but most of the time yes). Speaking from experience, this has happened to me on more than one occasion (she, or I or both wanted more). Some of my best relationships came from unusual circumstances. I realize some ladies here will never entertain a relationship with a ''client'' but others certainly will. It happens more often than you seem to think. And let's not forget another scenario here where a lady meets a client she likes, leaves the industry and then chooses to pursue a relationship. This happens too. In the end, have no fear: Life is complicated and even if your feelings get hurt, you'll bounce back over time.

 

Now I hope no one gets me wrong and thinks I am out there actively trying to find a gf on here (there are certainly better ways for me to do so), but I'm just saying it can happen naturally without expecting it.

 

I also agree with Tempted Monk's comment about being able to have feelings for someone and not being weird about it. I don't think non-mutual feelings = death when it comes to a cerb connection, as long as it does not make the time spent together awkward. In my experience, mutual feelings will take its own course.

 

I realize my view may not be popular, but it is based on my life well wasted. :icon_biggrin:

[Eric Northman 16522]

I think some of the attachment problems may be due to people being young or inexperienced or even just in a bad place in their lives. When I first got started 3 or 4 years ago, I was starved for love, affection, attention, etc. So much missing in my life caused me to develop inappropriate feelings that led to much grief. I wasn't able to separate sex and chemistry from real love and attachment.

 

Experience makes such a huge difference. I totally understand what ER means. If there's no chemistry there's no point and there's no way to force it to happen. Only experience, however, will let you understand that you can have tremendous chemistry and really like each other while never forgetting the true nature of the relationship. I enjoy this hobby so much more now that I have no confusion in that regard. I would definitely walk away from any situation in which I felt un-reciprocated 'feelings' were being developed by EITHER party.

[Grass_Hopper 18263]

I do prone a certain degree of relationship with clients and other SPs/MAs. But not the GFE kind. Just a certain level of intimacy to get to know to what point my regulars are willing to try new trends or what kind of play they like.

Also in different events (i.e. socials) I get to meet to know what kind of personality my eventual encounters have, so if it does not click with so or so, I know what I'm dealing with...

We are just strangers aiming for the same goal: Play. Why not doing it with somebody you enjoy being with, no strings attached?