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[nutty 153]

Is it acceptable for a client to turn around and walk out on an appointment if the SP is not what he expected based on expectations set in ads? It's happened a few times to me where the person at the door wasn't the person I was expecting to see. Once, I walked the other way - the other times I just went with it for fear of hurting her feelings. How often does that happen, and what is the feeling of SPs on this kind of behavior? Would you prefer we just go with it, or walk away?

[Miss S. Lane 67128]

Is it acceptable for a client to turn around and walk out on an appointment if the SP is not what he expected based on expectations set in ads? It's happened a few times to me where the person at the door wasn't the person I was expecting to see. Once, I walked the other way - the other times I just went with it for fear of hurting her feelings. How often does that happen, and what is the feeling of SPs on this kind of behavior? Would you prefer we just go with it, or walk away?

 

 

This is a great question. I have never been in this situation myself (at least not yet!), but I am trying to think how I would feel if I was. I firmly believe that providers should be honest about their appearance. It should not be so drastically different that someone would feel this way in the first place.

 

I absolutely think that if the person you are seeing cannot respect you enough to be honest, then you owe them nothing.

 

It would be different if you saw them and just thought they weren't your type -- in that situation I would hope a client would pay them anyway, and say they aren't a good match and leave. In that instance the lady has that time booked and cannot book someone else in.

 

But in the situation where they have flat out misrepresented themselves... I would walk.

 

Just my thoughts! :)

 

 

Xoxo, Miss Lane

[Eric Northman 16522]

Is it acceptable for a client to turn around and walk out on an appointment if the SP is not what he expected based on expectations set in ads? It's happened a few times to me where the person at the door wasn't the person I was expecting to see. Once, I walked the other way - the other times I just went with it for fear of hurting her feelings. How often does that happen, and what is the feeling of SPs on this kind of behavior? Would you prefer we just go with it, or walk away?

 

Not an SP but I have a bit of experience with this as well. I think it really depends and there isn't a right answer.

 

Fundamentally, the question you have to ask is, "Was this a deliberate bait and switch or just me having overly high expectations?"

 

For instance, a couple of times I've met ladies who REALLY didn't live up to what I imagined. The reason in these cases was that the photos were very selective and only highlighted a few features. In one case I went through with it to not hurt feelings but didn't enjoy it very much and felt a bit ripped off. In the other, I simply told her I wasn't feeling it, asked what appropriate recompense for her trouble would be and walked away after paying half her fee.

 

In both those case, I consider myself at fault. They had real and recent pictures of themselves that just didn't show enough. I know that I have particular tastes and I didn't have enough information to make an informed judgement but I rushed in and let myself down. In this case it would be unfair to them to just turn around and walk away.

 

Another situation that could arise is pictures that are very professionally done, perhaps with photoshop touch-ups, etc. These pictures should not be used to form an expectation either because realistically, ain't nobody look as good as a pro photographer can make you look. Personally, I think it's important for SPs to temper those pictures with a few 'real world' type shots (selfies, etc) that are not as polished. Not all do though, so it's really up to you to understand that real women have flaws. You're not perfect either.

 

The final case is a true bait and switch. She is absolutely not what is pictured, described, etc. We're talking, this girl belongs on Cowboy Kenny's page. I don't know what to tell you about that. Never had it happen but I imagine it's a shitty and stressful situation. I like to think I'd nope the fuck right out of there but I'm kind of cowardly and don't like confrontation so I might wind up paying at least some of the fee in spite of it being a scam. I think in a case like that, any money given is just enabling bad behavior.

 

In any event, all the ladies on this site are legit so I'm not sure they can really comment on the third case either. Ultimately, I think that if you make an appointment, you should pay her for her trouble whether you go through with it or not. Unless it's clearly a deliberate scam.

[fortunateone 156618]

I think some of the attachment problems may be due to people being young or inexperienced or even just in a bad place in their lives. When I first got started 3 or 4 years ago, I was starved for love, affection, attention, etc. So much missing in my life caused me to develop inappropriate feelings that led to much grief. I wasn't able to separate sex and chemistry from real love and attachment.

 

Experience makes such a huge difference. I totally understand what ER means. If there's no chemistry there's no point and there's no way to force it to happen. Only experience, however, will let you understand that you can have tremendous chemistry and really like each other while never forgetting the true nature of the relationship. I enjoy this hobby so much more now that I have no confusion in that regard. I would definitely walk away from any situation in which I felt un-reciprocated 'feelings' were being developed by EITHER party.

 

 

I think this is a great attitude. With some clients' postings, I get a distinct impression that they are projecting onto the sp, then get either hurt feelings or anger when they finally realize that the sp is not swept up in mad love & emotions for them. They may read 'signals' that are not there, or the sp may be unintentionally giving off a 'i want more' vibe, or something they say is misinterpreted. She wants to let him know she appreciates him as a client and wants to ensure he knows he is welcome to contact her again, and he sees that as her falling for him.

 

And she is put on the spot, fear of confrontation, conflict, backlash or just hurting someone's feelings, disappointing them, etc. Loss of income, of course, as well. an sp who does screen well doesn't want to lose someone who went thru the process and started off as a good client.

 

Additional Comments:

Is it acceptable for a client to turn around and walk out on an appointment if the SP is not what he expected based on expectations set in ads? It's happened a few times to me where the person at the door wasn't the person I was expecting to see. Once, I walked the other way - the other times I just went with it for fear of hurting her feelings. How often does that happen, and what is the feeling of SPs on this kind of behavior? Would you prefer we just go with it, or walk away?

 

I firmly believe you shouldn't stay unless you are the type of guy who is willing and able and ready to just go with the flow. Something attracted you enough to get you to the door, and it wasn't just the photo in the ad. So you may be a guy who proceeds with a now lowered expectation, but maybe allow her to do her thing, and see if her thing does something unexpectedly good for you lol

 

i just had this happen recently, i would have been happy enough had he decided to go, he decided to stay, and I thanked him for being a good sport, actually. But he was super nice, polite, generous natured, not rude, condescending or crude, otherwise i would have been the one to show him the door. i doubt if his uncertainty could have affected my personal self esteem on any day, but even less so on that particular day. I know i am not a match for everyone, but i don't expect to be and i don't try to be. I don't tell new clients i am the 'best' or 'number one' or 'great at' anything in particular, i don't tell them they will be 'blown away' or even that they 'won't be disappointed'. i don't hype myself up, and if they still decide to show up, I'd rather they choose to stay because they want to, not because they feel obliged having taken up my time before they got there. it wasn't a lot of notice, he didn't take up more than 15 minutes betwen phone call and arrival, if he decided to go, no one was turned away to accommodate him.

[Eric Northman 16522]

So I actually took the time to read the entire thread because I wanted to see if my question had already been asked. Turns out it hasn't.

 

A very common 'restriction' I see in ads, particularly elsewhere, is along the lines of "35+ gentlemen only please". Even among those who don't restrict based on age, there seems a general tendency to prefer more 'mature' men. Can you tell us what sort of behaviors are common in the younger set that make you prefer not to see them?

 

On a related side note, another really common restriction I'm noticing on another ad site is race related, specifically black men. Now this is a dangerous area of discussion and I expect many of you wouldn't want to touch it with a ten foot pole but it really seems quite prevalent. I actually asked a lady about it and her answer didn't really seem race related but more like a subset of the behaviors that one might expect in response to the above question. That is, it seems like more of a maturity thing than a race thing.

 

Humans are pattern oriented so most stereotypes come from repeated observations of similar behavior. My theory is that after a few annoying interactions, some ladies may just conclude that screening a subset of the population is easier than the hassle of weeding out the good from the bad. Two people seeing similar patterns may draw different conclusions. One may decide it's because they're young, another because they're black.

 

Anyway, this is perhaps more controversial than is suitable for this board. I'd still like to hear about the older guy preference. It may help some younger readers understand what they should do to be good clients.

[Emma Alexandra 123367]

So I actually took the time to read the entire thread because I wanted to see if my question had already been asked. Turns out it hasn't.

 

A very common 'restriction' I see in ads, particularly elsewhere, is along the lines of "35+ gentlemen only please". Even among those who don't restrict based on age, there seems a general tendency to prefer more 'mature' men. Can you tell us what sort of behaviors are common in the younger set that make you prefer not to see them?

 

On a related side note, another really common restriction I'm noticing on another ad site is race related, specifically black men. Now this is a dangerous area of discussion and I expect many of you wouldn't want to touch it with a ten foot pole but it really seems quite prevalent. I actually asked a lady about it and her answer didn't really seem race related but more like a subset of the behaviors that one might expect in response to the above question. That is, it seems like more of a maturity thing than a race thing.

 

 

The age thing for me is a few things:

maturity is the biggest issue

 

how they inquire about the "date". Usually one worded...example "hey"

 

young guys mostly think their all that and then some..they'll say things like"i'm so hot you should do me for free".

 

think they are porn stars

 

I have 3 sons in their 20's so it's a little weird for me..

 

I do see some guys in the high 20's but i seem to get a lot of requests from 23 year olds...the good thing about the 23 yo is that they are proud of there age and will always tell you..lol I just tell them call me in a few years.

 

 

As far as the race thing goes it's not a problem for me so I can't answer that.

[EmilyRushton 253367]

 

A very common 'restriction' I see in ads, particularly elsewhere, is along the lines of "35+ gentlemen only please". Even among those who don't restrict based on age, there seems a general tendency to prefer more 'mature' men. Can you tell us what sort of behaviors are common in the younger set that make you prefer not to see them?

 

On a related side note, another really common restriction I'm noticing on another ad site is race related, specifically black men. Now this is a dangerous area of discussion and I expect many of you wouldn't want to touch it with a ten foot pole but it really seems quite prevalent. I actually asked a lady about it and her answer didn't really seem race related but more like a subset of the behaviors that one might expect in response to the above question. That is, it seems like more of a maturity thing than a race thing.

 

Humans are pattern oriented so most stereotypes come from repeated observations of similar behavior. My theory is that after a few annoying interactions, some ladies may just conclude that screening a subset of the population is easier than the hassle of weeding out the good from the bad. Two people seeing similar patterns may draw different conclusions. One may decide it's because they're young, another because they're black.

 

 

I agree with what Emma has said, younger gentleman usually are immature, clueless and lacking respect, as well their emails are usually atrocious. I personally have found more mature gentlemen know what they are looking for, have manners and well are less likely to cross the line by asking to see me off the clock or if they can come for free cause they are that dam hot. Young men, if you think telling me your attractive makes me want to see you, your wrong. It makes you sound arrogant.

 

As for the race thing, when I owned my agency (pardon my terms here) the black girl who worked for me did not wish to see black men, her reasoning was the pimp card. While its wrong to generalize, she was in the biz for many years and saw who she was comfortable with. You can't sum all black men in the same boat so to say, but it was her preference and I respected it 100%. How some men prefer and only see blondes, she preferred not to see men from her background.

[CristyCurves 169032]

So I actually took the time to read the entire thread because I wanted to see if my question had already been asked. Turns out it hasn't.

 

A very common 'restriction' I see in ads, particularly elsewhere, is along the lines of "35+ gentlemen only please". Even among those who don't restrict based on age, there seems a general tendency to prefer more 'mature' men. Can you tell us what sort of behaviors are common in the younger set that make you prefer not to see them?

 

On a related side note, another really common restriction I'm noticing on another ad site is race related, specifically black men. Now this is a dangerous area of discussion and I expect many of you wouldn't want to touch it with a ten foot pole but it really seems quite prevalent. I actually asked a lady about it and her answer didn't really seem race related but more like a subset of the behaviors that one might expect in response to the above question. That is, it seems like more of a maturity thing than a race thing.

 

Humans are pattern oriented so most stereotypes come from repeated observations of similar behavior. My theory is that after a few annoying interactions, some ladies may just conclude that screening a subset of the population is easier than the hassle of weeding out the good from the bad. Two people seeing similar patterns may draw different conclusions. One may decide it's because they're young, another because they're black.

 

Anyway, this is perhaps more controversial than is suitable for this board. I'd still like to hear about the older guy preference. It may help some younger readers understand what they should do to be good clients.

 

My preference for older men is simply because I'm mature and prefer men near my age or older. I've never had issues with younger men actually just the opposite. I have had numerous issues with 30 and 40 and 50 somethings acting immaturely.

As far as the race issue, not a concern for me as I have no preference. However, when I was running services the majority of girls I had worked with wouldn't see black men because they were either with a black man, or were concerned that it might be another agency owner. Back then, the majority of services were run by black men. Those were the reasons I was given. Which I never questioned because I felt it was their right to see or not see whom ever they choose. It is a two way street after all:)

[gogofmagog 655]

I'm always at odds as to how to engage an SP. Aggressively? Passively?

 

Ladies?

 

How do you prefer gentlemen to engages you? Do you take the initiative or do you prefer the man initiate the session.. "take the bull by the horns"?

[Helena D'Orville 33237]

Here are my answers according to my experience only, these are not generalities, of course.

 

About the age:

 

- Often young guys in their 20ies contact me as a joke, so they are time wasters. Probably because they are not comfortable with their sexuality yet, and because they see this occupation in a certain way, they lack respect. They are far from being gentlemen. But there are exceptions. I have some young clients who are absolutely lovely. It seems to me that the education they received is very different from the majority of the guys in their 20ies.

 

- Guys in their thirties:although they might have the good manners, often they are not here to make a connection with a lady. They want to experience sex with a mature woman. It is quite cold and technical. But again, there are exceptions.

 

About the race:

 

I have no race discrimination. I have mixed origins, and have been raised by parents who were immigrants, and I have been an immigrant myself here in this country (now a citizen). I have a very open mind regarding race. This said, it is true that although I had a few numbers of clients of African decent, I often encountered problems with young black men, and it hurts me to write it here. But I still do not want to apply a discrimination, it is not my philosophy.

 

About the lady or the gentleman leading an encounter:

 

It depends! I don't mind. If the gentleman is shy, I will lead. If he feels like leading, I will let him lead. It is like a dance ;-)

[CristyCurves 169032]

I'm always at odds as to how to engage an SP. Aggressively? Passively?

 

Ladies?

 

How do you prefer gentlemen to engages you? Do you take the initiative or do you prefer the man initiate the session.. "take the bull by the horns"?

 

Every woman you meet is different as is the way they'll interact with you. So there is not one right answer. This is why clear and concise communication before a meeting is key, important and will insure no misunderstandings. But understand, we are ladies and treating us as such will always result in favorable outcomes.

[WealthyCowboy 5281]

take the bull by the horns[/i]"?

 

I must say I haven't met a lady yet who acted like a bull or had horns, though some were devils. :icon_lol:

[Emma Alexandra 123367]

I'm always at odds as to how to engage an SP. Aggressively? Passively?

 

Ladies?

 

How do you prefer gentlemen to engages you? Do you take the initiative or do you prefer the man initiate the session.. "take the bull by the horns"?

 

I'm usually the one to start things..although i do like it sometimes when the guy takes charge. wink

[roamingguy 300292]

I'm always at odds as to how to engage an SP. Aggressively? Passively?

 

Ladies?

 

How do you prefer gentlemen to engages you? Do you take the initiative or do you prefer the man initiate the session.. "take the bull by the horns"?

 

My experience, let the lady take the lead. Definitely ensures you won't do something to cross her boundaries. If you continue seeing the lady, in an ongoing client/companion relationship, you'll both get comfortable with one another and just know

One thing, what works in one client/companion relationship won't necessarily work in another. All people are unique and all relationships are unique too. Even different dates with the same lady are special and unique, and not clones of one another. But with an ongoing relationship and date, you'll just know. One lady may always like to take the initiative, another, the man, and another, let the encounter just unfold naturally

Just my experience

 

RG

[Eric Northman 16522]

My motto is, when in doubt, ask. Usually body language and expression is good feedback but if you're not sure, just ask. Heck, I have interactions even afterwards where I'll PM a lady and say, "Hey, you know that bit where I did the penis helicopter move and yelled, 'Woohoo!! I'm a sex pinata!!'? Was that okay with you?" Then, if I'm lucky, she says, "Yeah, that was super hot. If you could just bring a polish sausage with a miniature hat and skateboard next time, we could have a really good time."

 

Once that happens, you know you've got a real love connection and she'll have a repeat customer for life. Good times.

[Ice4fun 78407]

Just wondering... how many of you ladies are owners of a "magic wand" and if you do owwn one how does it compare to other vibrators?

 

Sent from my Passport using Tapatalk

[CristyCurves 169032]

Just wondering... how many of you ladies are owners of a "magic wand" and if you do owwn one how does it compare to other vibrators?

 

Sent from my Passport using Tapatalk

 

Sadly I'm not aware of the magic wand, must look for it next time. I'm a fan of the egg/bullet vibrators. Tried other types and always go back to the egg:)

 

Additional Comments:

I'm always at odds as to how to engage an SP. Aggressively? Passively?

 

Ladies?

 

How do you prefer gentlemen to engages you? Do you take the initiative or do you prefer the man initiate the session.. "take the bull by the horns"?

 

How to engage? Well, we are ladies first and foremost and prefer to be treated as such. This goes for all aspects of this business. Most of us are capable of being passive or aggressive, so how to engage is something you'll want to discuss with your lady of choice. The right way with one may be the wrong way with another. This is why communication is the key, but respectful communication. No explicit talk, rudeness or crudeness is necessary, on or off this board.

Respectfulness goes along way in this business for both hobbyist and companion. We all want to be valued after all and not made to feel like a number, piece of meat or anything other than ladies and gentlemen that we are.

[Ice4fun 78407]

Sadly I'm not aware of the magic wand, must look for it next time. I'm a fan of the egg/bullet vibrators. Tried other types and always go back to the egg:)

 

Cristy.... here is what your looking for...

 

[ATTACH]327[/ATTACH]

 

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[CristyCurves 169032]

Cristy.... here is what your looking for...

 

[ATTACH]327[/ATTACH]

 

Sent from my Passport using Tapatalk

 

Lol, that looks like a weapon! too big for me. I like a smaller model- for vibrator that is;)

[Amber Rose 19012]

I'm married to my Magic Wand, and we're fully exclusive to each other. We're going to renew ours vows in a few months :)

 

In all seriousness, I love it more than anything, BUT because it's so strong, you have to be careful. I'm not sure if this is true or if I'm just crazy, but I feel like after years of use, I've become desensitized to anything less powerful.

Posted via Mobile Device

[Brad 49548]

Lol, that looks like a weapon! too big for me. I like a smaller model- for vibrator that is;)

 

I bought one as a present to someone I was with once. She was initially quite intimidated by its size and unsure. If I recall it took about 30 seconds after turning it on for her to declare it the best present she'd ever received!

[leonup 220]

I'm married to my Magic Wand, and we're fully exclusive to each other. We're going to renew ours vows in a few months :)

 

In all seriousness, I love it more than anything, BUT because it's so strong, you have to be careful. I'm not sure if this is true or if I'm just crazy, but I feel like after years of use, I've become desensitized to anything less powerful.

Posted via Mobile Device

 

Magic Wand is powerful enough to use on a male part, no hands! LOL

[Midnite-Energies 110563]

I've found that there are two camps in relation to the magic wand. Those who love it and would never be without, and those who find it way to powerful or prefer a more "inner" experience. There are certain ways I love the wand and at times need it. There are other times I prefer something else. Definitely a great tool to have in the toy chest!

[Guest **cely***r***ne]

Those things take me to my own limits and being a lady who likes to push it I freaking loved that thing...until I killed it.

 

 

 

Cristy.... here is what your looking for...

 

[ATTACH]327[/ATTACH]

 

Sent from my Passport using Tapatalk

[timeforchange 726]

Amberxx what you say on desensitizing is Exactly what my favourite lady told me 2 days ago. Talk with your lady, listen, learn and your encounters will get better and better.