What are your Favourite Movie/TV Show quotes?

[Andee 220524]

City Slickers: Mitch (Billy Crystal) referring to Curly (Jack Palance):

That is the toughest man I've ever seen in my life.

Did you see how leathery he was? He was like a saddlebag with eyes.

 

48 Hours:

Reggie: This ain't no god damn way to start a partnership.

Jack: Now, get this! We ain't partners. We ain't brothers. And we ain't friends. I'm puttin' you down and keepin' you down until Ganz is locked up or dead. And if Ganz gets away, you're gonna be sorry YOU ever MET me!

Reggie: I'm already sorry.

 

The 40 Year Old Virgin:

Andy (Steve Carrell): You know what? I respect women! I love women! I respect them so much that I completely stay away from them!

 

The Odd Couple (1968):

Oscar: I can't take it anymore, Felix, I'm cracking up. Everything you do irritates me. And when you're not here, the things I know you're gonna do when you come in irritate me. You leave me little notes on my pillow. Told you 158 times I can't stand little notes on my pillow. "We're all out of cornflakes. F.U." Took me three hours to figure out F.U. was Felix Ungar!

***

 

Oscar: Now kindly remove that spaghetti from my poker table.

[Felix laughs] What hell's so funny?

Felix: It's not spaghetti, it's linguini

[Oscar picks up the plate of linguini and hurls it against the kitchen wall]

Oscar: Now it's garbage.

[Old Dog 179138]

Okay it was tasteless, rude, blasphemous, racist, homophobic and rude... aside from that it was really freakin' funny....

 

Gary Johnston: Jesus, this is a nice limo.

Spottswoode: Yes, it is. Now suck my cock.

_______________________________________________________

 

Kim Jong Il: Now you see, the changing of the worrd is inevitabre!

Lisa: I'm sorry, it's what?

Kim Jong Il: Inevit, inevitabre.

Lisa: One more time.

Kim Jong Il: [shouts] Inevitabre! Things are inevitabrey going to change! Goddamnit, open your fucking ears!

______________________________________________________

 

Gary Johnston: OK, a limousine that can fly. Now I have seen everything.

Spottswoode: Really? Have you seen a man eat his own head?

Gary Johnston: No.

Spottswoode: So then, you haven't seen everything.

______________________________________________________

 

and one last one....

 

Sean Penn: Last year I went to Iraq. Before Team America showed up, it was a happy place. They had flowery meadows and rainbow skies, and rivers made of chocolate, where the children danced and laughed and played with gumdrop smiles.

[Ragnaglar 440]

Blade Runner

 

Roy Batty - I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams ... glitter in the dark near Tannhauser Gate. All those ... moments will be lost ... in time, like tears ... in rain. Time ... to die.

 

Star Wars

Han Solo - "I have a bad feeling about this!"

 

Indiana Jones - "Snakes. Why'd it have to be snakes?"

 

Session 9 - (under rated horror movie - see it!)

 

"Voice inside Gordan's head" - "Do it Gordon!"

[stevecurious 42059]

 

*Operator! Give me the number for 911!

 

*Oh, so they have internet on computers now!

 

*Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.

 

*I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.

 

*Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.

 

*Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene.'

 

*You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.

 

*Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.

 

 

*When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!

 

*Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.

 

*I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!

 

*The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!

 

*I'm having the best day of my life, and I owe it all to not going to Church!

 

*Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such.

 

*I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?

 

*Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.

 

*It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.

 

*Remember that postcard Grandpa sent us from Florida of that Alligator biting that woman's bottom? That's right, we all thought it was hilarious. But, it turns out we were wrong. That alligator was sexually harrassing that woman.

 

*How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?

 

*Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.

 

*Homer no function beer well without.

 

*Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?

 

*I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming.

 

*[Looking at a globe map...country being Uruguay]

Hee hee! Look at this country! 'You-are-gay.'

*Dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and old people are useless.

 

*But Marge, what if we chose the wrong religion? Each week we just make God madder and madder.

 

*I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I'm around.

 

*Beer: The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

 

*If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing

 

*I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk!

 

*To Start Press Any Key'. Where's the ANY key?

[spud271 47779]

"Stupid sexy Flanders!"

 

Homer Jay Simpson

[Royalfun 55449]

'Go ahead, make my day!"

 

Dirty Harry

[rileydaniels 1901]

"We're selling sex darling" Secret lives of women - Sex for sale, you can find it on youtube.

 

Suzie from Suzie.net said it.

[Ashley Ann 75247]

< Hi, Hello, Howdy> Roller Girl aka Heather Graham from the movie BOOGIE NIGHTS...love. love,love that movie...a lot of good & seriously funny quotes & sayings from that movie......

 

Little Bill aka William H Macy <Ah... my fuckin' wife, man, she's over there... she's got some idiot's dick in her, people standing around watching - it's a fuckin' embarassment. > His wife is played by none other than NINA HARTLEY !!!

 

Jack Horner: aka Burt Reynolds< Ah, where are you going? >

Becky Barnett: aka Nicole Ari Parker < I gotta go wash my vagina. >

Jack Horner: <How long you gonna be? >

Becky Barnett: < Five minutes. You want it clean, don't you? >

 

Love that movie!!! Gonna go watch the DVD again!!! :cooter:

[Old Dog 179138]

From Airplane... Peter Graves as Captain Oveur in the cockpit with young Joey, just visiting...

 

Captain Oveur: You ever been in a cockpit before?

Joey: No sir, I've never been up in a plane before.

Captain Oveur: You ever seen a grown man naked?

_______________________________________________

Captain Oveur: Joey, have you ever been in a... in a Turkish prison?

_______________________________________________

From Super Troopers:

 

Thorny: It stinks like sex in here.

_______________________________________________

 

Farva: Hey, let's pop some Viagras and issue tickets with raging, mega-huge boners.

Thorny: You know, Farva, only you can make a dark man blush. And no, we're not doing it.

_______________________________________________

 

That's it for this one.....

[Victoria Banks 21899]

Life passes most people by while they're making grand plans for it.

 

Its always the last day of summer and I've been left out in the cold with no door to get back in. I force a smile knowing my ambition far exceeded my talent.

 

George , Blow

 

Best movie ever.

[Guest f***2f***]

The Love Guru

 

Guru Pitka: Tonawanda street? I know this street.

Darren Roanoke: You do?

Guru Pitka: Yes. At what number did you live?

Darren Roanoke: Fifty-three.

Guru Pitka: Did you know a Dickie Withers at 85?

Darren Roanoke: No?

Guru Pitka: Well, it does. A dickie does wither at 85. I own you! Yeah! You are laughing! You see, you are filled with joy of a child! :sm185:

[TGirl-Kay 7485]

"She'll go all the way to the bottom if we let her"

 

From the movie

Das Boot, when asked how deep the submarine can go.

[Jim.Bean 241]

Zombie strippers has a great spoof on a classic line.

 

Badgers? We no need no stinkin Badger, then

Patches? We no need no stinkin patches, then

a few more similar and finaly...

Badges. Yeah thats a great idea we need badges

[Guest S***dst***]

The Goonies

Sloth: "Hey you guuuuuuuyss!!"

 

Wanted

Wesley: "This *is* me taking control; from Sloan, from the fraternity, from Janice, billing reports, ergonomic keyboards, from cheating girlfriends and sack of shit best friends. This is me taking back control of my life. What the f**k have you done lately?"

 

The Wizard

Lucas: "I love the power glove; It's so bad"

I also get a kick out of watching Beau Bridges do his little spaz-out about his Zelda game bieng turned off :P

 

Kindergarten Cop

young boy: (maybe 5) "Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina"

Ursala: "Well, I see you taught them the basics."

 

Benchwarmers Clarke (ordering a sandwich from the robot butler)

"Can I have tuna fish and skittles... with pudding skin on whole wheat, with the crust cut off?"

 

Clark: [a ball hits Richie in the head] Duuuuhhhr!

Richie: You just lost your membership at video spot!

Clark: Dang it!

 

Dirty Work

Kathy: You guys are brothers?

Mitch: Well, it's a long story...

Sam: My dad boned his mom.

Mitch: Okay, it's a short story.

 

Pops: Back then we didn't have these fancy birth control methods. Like pulling out.

 

Mitch: There's two kinds of people in this world: Those who get stomped on and those who do the stomping.

Kathy: Where'd you come up with that theory?

Mitch: That famous guy said it. What's his name? Uh... Oh, yeah: Jesus!

 

(Mitch sees the girl from the bar and yells across the street)

Mitch: Hey Mildred! Mildred!

Kathy: Oh, hi, Mitch.

Mitch: Hi, Mildred.

Kathy: I guess you forgot my name. It's not Mildred, it's Kathy.

Mitch: Oh no, I didn't forget. You never told me, so I just guessed.

 

Finally

Juno

too many to mention all of them

 

Leah: So, are you going to go to Haven Brook or Women Now? 'Cause you know, you need a note from your parents for Haven Brook.

Juno MacGuff: Yeah, I-I know. Ummm... no, I'm going to go to Women Now, just cause they help out "women now."

 

Punk Receptionist: Would you like a free condom? They're boysenberry.

Juno MacGuff: No, thanks. I'm off sex right now.

Punk Receptionist: My boyfriend wears them every time we have intercourse, it makes his junk smell like pie.

 

Juno MacGuff: ...and the receptianist tried to get me to take these condoms that looked like grape suckers and was just babbling away about her freaking boyfiends pie balls! Oh an Su-Chin was there and she was like, "Hi, babies have fingernails." Fingernails!

Leah: Oh, gruesome. Do you think the baby could like, scratch your vag on the way out?

[Nicole Kelly 130]

"All I need is a healthy ovum and I could grow my own Leonard Nimoy!" (Sheldon Cooper, "The Big Bang Theory")

 

"Last name? I'd rather not say. My brother's in politics." (Raoul Duke, "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas"

 

"You know, you could pay me now, and break the ice." (Vivian, "Pretty Woman")

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

Bea Arthur as Maude: "God will get you for that Walter."

 

Sex and the City: Carrie Bradshaw after hearing Big is moving to Napa, California...

 

Carrie: "If your tired of New York you take a napa, you don't move to Napa!"

 

 

 

Anthony ( the gay wedding planner/friend of Charlotte's when planning the wedding):

 

Anthony:"Okay? You're Audrey Hepburn. Owitz."

 

Charlotte: "I'm so excited about this wedding."

 

Anthony: "We're gonna do everything according to tradition."

 

Charlotte: "We're gonna smash the glass, and the signing of the Ketubah. The Hora."

 

Anthony: "Be careful. God forbid you fall off the chair. Oh the horror. The hora."

 

Charlotte: "Well maybe we won't do the chair thing."

 

Anthony: "You have to. That's the big finish.Just remember when you're up there. Pretend you're having a good time, hang on for dear life, and for fuck's sake keep your legs together. Nobody wants to see the bride's beaver."

[Isabella Gia (Banned) 53881]

 

'Is not who you are underneath, is what you do that defines you'

 

- Rachel (Katie Holmes), Batman Begins

[Mister T 45020]

Some that I like and can think of at the moment:

 

From Cheers:

-Norm! (whenever Norm entered the bar)

-Any fact brought forward by Cliff

 

From Get Smart (the tv series):

-Missed by that much! (i still use this line at times)

-Would you believe ....

[Lowdark 5613]

In the words of the Immortal Bugs Bunny;

"Of course you know, this, means war."

[roamingguy 300292]

From Airplane... Peter Graves as Captain Oveur in the cockpit with young Joey, just visiting...

 

Captain Oveur: You ever been in a cockpit before?

Joey: No sir, I've never been up in a plane before.

Captain Oveur: You ever seen a grown man naked?

_______________________________________________

Captain Oveur: Joey, have you ever been in a... in a Turkish prison?

 

_______________________________________________

 

That's it for this one.....

 

Funny, but wrong :shock: on so many levels :D

 

And one from Seinfeld, George's interview with the New York Yankees

 

Mr. Cushman : Ah, Mr. Steinbrenner, sir. There's someone here I'd like you to meet. This is Mr. Costanza. He's one of the applicants.

Mr. Steinbrenner : Nice to meet you.

George : Well, I wish I could say the same, but I must say, with all due respect, I find it very hard to see the logic behind some of the moves you have made with this fine organization. In the past twenty years you have caused myself, and the city of New York, a good deal of distress, as we have watched you take our beloved Yankees and reduced them to a laughing stock, all for the glorification of your massive ego!

Mr. Steinbrenner : Hire this man!

 

RG

[Lowdark 5613]

Garfield in one of manynchildhood cartoon specials

(after being dumped out of a plane)

 

Whoever said getting there is half the fun should be drug out into the middle of the street and shot.

[lloyd21 100]

Although a little immature still funny none the less,

In the Austin powers movie when Austin says

" This coffee tastes like shit Basil"

I just find it hilarious.

[2tontony 657]

He's dead Jim

[Lowdark 5613]

Just about half the things Tommy Lee Jones says as a U.S. Marshal in The Fugitive with Harrison Ford.

[lotus 100]

Police: "What are you"

 

Bruce Willis " I am a meat popsicle"