Scammed by SP's?

[goose2ca 458]

Have any of you guys had an escort or massage girl hit you up with a fake crisis story to get some money from you? It has happened to me twice now,I am embarrassed to say

and it is making me very cynical about SP's generally.

 

One girl, a dancer that I had exchanged phone nos with, texted me that she needed a bus ticket to get back from Montreal as she was broke. When I texted back that I would buy the ticket she then asked me for money (which I gave) to pay rent on an apartment that I later learned she does not have! I later learned as well that she did not even use the bus ticket that I bought her! After that she called me once at 5 in the morning,and left a message sounding all teary and whiney, and saying she was in a bad situation. I did not call back, as I am sure she would be claiming to be stranded somewhere again. A few days later she was calling me from an Ottawa number so she obviously made it home! She gave me a fake email address, and stood me up for lunch as well!

 

The other girl is one I met at a massage joint and she became my favourite regular. Then she sent me a text at 2:00 in the morning asking me to call her as soon as I got the message, and left a voice mail as well which I could not understand because she was (pretending) crying alot.

So i called her and she told me that her twin sister had just died the night before in Europe, AND, her roomates had stolen all her cash, AND she did not want to ask her mother for the money for plane fare so could I please lend her $100.00; as soon as I said yes she then upped it to $700.00! I felt from the start that this had to be bullshit, but at this point was emotionally involved with her to the point that I could not refuse. She was very cagey about where we would meet and showed up in shabby clothes and sunglasses on a rainy day. She kept up the crying act, but I could tell it was fake.

 

This has definitely taught me that girls in this business care nothing for us clients other than as targets for cash. If they sense they can rip you off they will, since that is an easier way of getting money. For some of them, setting you up emotionally for the big sting is the plan from the beginning!

 

I have also noticed that alot of dancers tell you the same stories to make you more sympathetic to spending money: She is saving up to go back to school, and she just broke up with her boyfriend.

 

I have not decided whether to give up this hobby entirely, or just to avoid becoming a regular of any one SP or dancer; as well, I would not exchange phone nos with any more girls!

 

Anyone else have a similarly embarrasing tale? It feels good for me just to share this!

[buggernot 588]

There's a few shady people out there that will do or say anything to get money out of you, but you should be able to read that. I definitely wouldn't paint them all with the same brush, majority of girls that I go back to have big hearts and are amazing people. I have seen some manipulative ones too, but the minute they start playing that game I laugh them off or play with them. I hate that shit and they'll never get anything out of me...including any business in the future.

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[jg24 3708]

Been there done that and bought the Tshirt I feel for you but I'm sure it has happened to the best of us at times

 

I would say we hope to see the good in people while all along we are being deceived

 

I can say I have had much better times once you don't get to involved you can become as best of friends from a client Sp relationship but you have to know when the line is being crossed

 

Good luck in the future stick with the ladies here on Cerb and you will have much happier expierences

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[Guest W***ledi*Time]

In all walks of life, we meet some manipulative and dishonest people. But jumping from the fact that "some X are dishonest" (whatever X is) to the conclusion that "all X are dishonest" is obviously a logical fallacy. Besides being just plain incorrect, thinking along such lines is not conducive to leading a happy life. Keep your wits about you, yes -- but try to avoid the poison of becoming truly cynical.

[Guest s******ecan****]

I think its a mistake to assume all the ladies in this business are out to rip you off. Naturally there are people who will try to take advantage. It seems to me that any reputable SP would never ask a client for this sort of help. Its simply a line that should never be crossed. So if an SP asks for this type of help it should automaticaly be a red flag and a polite refusal should be offered. In my mind it would also have to signal the end of the business relationship.

I have not been in the hobby long enough to know if some client/SP relationships develop to the point where this sort of help might be sought and offered but that would have to be a rare exception and both parties would obviously know each other well.

[roger dodger 2160]

Goose, you can't paint all girls with the same brush, as girls could paint all hobbiests as losers and perverts. Some are, some just enjoy the company of beautiful and intelligent women. I've gotten scammed more by a gf with a master's degre and a job with the govmnt, than with any girl in the business. It's normally easy to see these types of girls coming. I agree that some dancers may spend most of their money and make bad choices, but i also know a lot of dancers who do very well and budget and save a lot of money for their future. There is good and bad people in all walks of life, and in all professions. You can't generalize just because you got screwed. There some amazing ladies here on cerb, who are very smart and do chose this profession for the freedom and for the options that a 9 to 5 job does not allow. Take it as a lesson learned, move on. If u quit hobbying because of a couple of glitches, you may miss out on a lot of great experiences. I would recommend sp's moreso than dancers. good luck

[m**k 153]

I agree with Bugg, I wouldn't say that all SPs are out to steal your money or scam you. If anything, SPs are least likely to pull this kind of stuff followed by MAs and dancers. The reason is the following, an SP's reputation, especially for Indies is critical to their long term success. The same can be said for SPs that work with reputable agencies as the agency is in it for the long haul. Dancers on the other hand practice the art of deception on a daily basis, they are relatively nameless and move freely from club to club. There is a conditioning, in my view, that is more likely to occur in dancers who see client as a simply source of cash. Think about it, they don't need to cultivate a relationship to be successful (they just need to look pretty and have decent mileage). They also see much more clients than an sp. I'm not saying that SPs can't be scammers, there were a few thread on the t-board about this a few months ago. If you are a bit selective in who you see long term, an SP can be your temporary lover and also a friend who will keep things on a professional basis.

 

In my experience, the requests for "assistance" and help with crisis have come from dancers. Here's an example, a long term dancer acquaintance recently talked to me about her financial woes (huge bills from school that she never finished...she is 32 btw) and I offered to go see her to help with a little extra business. In the CR, the conversation turns to trying to make enough money to get a boob job...she obviously forgot about the conversation we had that led me to come see her. After 3 songs, I walked and while she calls once in a while to see when I will drop in, it never seems to line up with my schedule, I wonder why?. Knowing when you are being played is often difficult when your thinking with your little head. So I never offer anything unless it is an actual gift (nothing is expected in return). If your SP, MA or dancer looks like she's on drug or has some kind of substance abuse problem...walk away.

 

my 2 cents worth

[startss 100]

In my opion, The majority of the SPs, MAs, or dancers are not out there to steal your money! We have to realize that were paying them for their time & companionship, but we as clients and SPs have to draw the line between what is business and friendships! Now I know its hard because their are so many great girls out there who we all would give the shirt off our backs to see the best for them! but we have to realize that our time with these girls is nothing more than fantasises of ours, No matter how great of a time we have with them... So with that being said, the minute we take it outside our normal every day business relationship, whether it be a phone calls to see how one'n an others is doing or asking to borrow money for help! we are then stepping outside our Business relationship to a friendship. So if a girl asks for your help & you decide too help out dont expect to see anything back! Because you could have said No in the first place.

[Jabba 18389]

I've had a couple of MAs feed me lines to get me to spend more cash on them. One favourite, is they tell me they recently broke-up with their BF and their not "getting any". I sympathize with them up until the end of the session, I don't spend for extras, then I never bother to book them again. Seems these ladies don't last long at the MP anyway.

 

I guess the rule of thumb for this business - if it sounds too convenient, too pitiful, etc.. it usually is a scam. But I enjoy the story though. Listening is free.

[Andee 220524]

Not all SPs are out to get your cash and not all ladies out to get your cash are SPs. (I have had some male friends complain of the same type of nonsense from girls they've met while out drinking who were not prostitutes but still trying to scam for cash or other favours).

 

I have met many SPs since I started working back in 1996, and I would say the majority of them were NOT into scamming guys. The ones who did were either had substance abuse, gambling, spending or other problems and I steered away from them when I realized what they were up to (because we are judged by the company we keep, right).

 

I am amazed at the number of guys who fall for "hard luck" stories. Remember it usually starts off harmless enough like needing a ride, a few buck for a phone card or babysitter and then escalates from there. Car broke down, need a tow, locked self out apt., new $ for a locksmith, all kinds of crazy stories. If they get it once out of you, they'll try again.

 

Just remember, if it feels like you're being hustled or chumped, you probably are.

 

Why not stick to recommendations here on CERB before venturing out when hobbying again.

[goose2ca 458]

Thanks to all who responded to this post for all of the helpful feedback! I do agree that it was an overstatement that all SP's do these scams. There are a lot of decent SP's and they in turn have probably taken a variety of BS and abuse from bad clients!

And no doubt the hard luck stories are used by scammers who are not SP's.

The craziest one I heard was one morning a guy approached me outside a local major hotel, and told me that he was a stunt man with a movie crew doing a shoot in Ottawa. He had left his wallet and cell phone in the crew car, which had left without him (because he overslept) and needed $20 for a taxi to get him out to the filming site right away, or he would be late for the shoot! I said sorry I can't help you and walked on.

I was also approached one morning by a very scruffy couple smelling of booze who claimed that they had come to town last night with their sick child who was at CHEO, and needed money to take a taxi to the hospital.

I gave them a toony and kept walking.

[VedaSloan 119179]

It's all been mostly said already, but please don't let a few bad girls ruin your entire view of sex workers.

 

Just try to become more aware of BS. And don't give out your number. Even though you've been scammed in the past, and it's hard, try not to think badly of those women--you don't know how they came to be in their current situtation or what they've been through in their lives. At this point, scamming guys may be the only way they know how to survive.

 

 

For the record though, some of us really are putting ourselves through school!

[Cowboy kenny 50799]

Great points Erin, I wanted to nominate your post but a la "Little Brittan" "computer says no" i must spread more rep around.

 

You do make some great points and sadly there's always a bad apple out to ruin it for the good ones.

 

Some laides are SP's; Service Providers, professionals and focused on customer service and building a clientel, While others are SP's; Scammers and Posers just looking to make a quick buck no matter what.

[fortunateone 156618]

It's all been mostly said already, but please don't let a few bad girls ruin your entire view of sex workers.

 

Just try to become more aware of BS. And don't give out your number. Even though you've been scammed in the past, and it's hard, try not to think badly of those women--you don't know how they came to be in their current situtation or what they've been through in their lives. At this point, scamming guys may be the only way they know how to survive.

 

 

For the record though, some of us really are putting ourselves through school!

 

 

I'd also say be wary of the sp who wants to be your best friend AND be wary of wanting to become her bff, as in asking for her to meet you for any reason whatsoever off the clock. If she is a scammer she is more likely to take you up on it imo, as a more professional approach sp draws that line. A more professional sp makes her money honestly, exchange of $$ for services, and when she needs more $$, she works more or puts on a special rate. If dancer rely on working for tips, etc, it is possible they don't see the same sort of simple exchange, and maybe they don't see as much in a day as an sp gets, so this flirting-for-$$ or sad story becomes part of squeezing a little extra out of someone who (see above re: bffs lol)

 

Would you like to be seen hanging out with someone who has the looks, youth and body of a dancer?? Of course you would, but take care about crossing that line. And never give any $$ that you can't afford to never see again. :cool:

[Megan'sTouch 23875]

Like Erin, I've been a student most of my sex worker life. Sometimes those essays would pile up, I'd have lots of bills to pay and little time to work.

 

Did I complain to clients? Absolutely not. I don't understand why some women think it's necessary to create sob stories to make money.

 

I've always been honest, genuine, and fun to be around and this brought in money more than any sob story could. Men don't call up sex workers to hear another whiny story. They call us up to have fun!

 

Sorry this happened to you, and I hope you can stand up for yourself next time. It's a shame.

[mod 135640]

Great points Erin, I wanted to nominate your post but a la "Little Brittan" "computer says no" i must spread more rep around.

 

You can't nominate the posts in the WARNINGS area but you should be able to give rep with the link.

 

... unless you have given Erin rep on another post recently, I do think it limits how much you can give to one person within a certain time frame (or before giving it to others in between).

 

This stops someone from setting up multiple accounts and easily boosting rep on the "other" accounts from one that already has some rep. It's not foolproof but it would greatly slow down someone who wanted to do this.

[bewlayb 7480]

Interesting thread. I've seen similar on this board and others. Lots of stories about scams and near misses, lessons on human psychology, and philosophizing about the consequences of crossing the personal-business boundary. All conclude basically the same thing: Venturing down the path of lending money to an SP, MPA, stripper, etc leads to no good. I don't see evidence in this thread to the contrary, so I'm curious... Has anyone actually loaned money to their favorite hobby partner, had it paid back, and then continued with them "business as usual"?

 

I'm not being a smart ass, I honestly want to know. You see, I have this really close personal friend who recently loaned money to his favorite MPA and... :wink:

[whatsup 11893]

Great points Erin, I wanted to nominate your post but a la "Little Brittan" "computer says no" i must spread more rep around.

 

You do make some great points and sadly there's always a bad apple out to ruin it for the good ones.

 

Some laides are SP's; Service Providers, professionals and focused on customer service and building a clientel, While others are SP's; Scammers and Posers just looking to make a quick buck no matter what.

 

 

Dang computers CK :lol: "Yeah but, no but, yeah but, no but."

[bucky501 923]

I had my favorite SP on a `special` retainer. It worked out quite well and she was as honorable and honest as the day is long.

 

She made herself availalble for me and I to her whenever the `need` arose.:smile:

[Megan'sTouch 23875]

I had my favorite SP on a `special` retainer. It worked out quite well and she was as honorable and honest as the day is long.

 

She made herself availalble for me and I to her whenever the `need` arose.:smile:

I've done this too (with a client obviously lol) and it worked out quite well!

[buggernot 588]

Interesting thread. I've seen similar on this board and others. Lots of stories about scams and near misses, lessons on human psychology, and philosophizing about the consequences of crossing the personal-business boundary. All conclude basically the same thing: Venturing down the path of lending money to an SP, MPA, stripper, etc leads to no good. I don't see evidence in this thread to the contrary, so I'm curious... Has anyone actually loaned money to their favorite hobby partner, had it paid back, and then continued with them "business as usual"?

 

I'm not being a smart ass, I honestly want to know. You see, I have this really close personal friend who recently loaned money to his favorite MPA and... :wink:

 

I've done this but it was someone I got to trust unconditionally which is a hard thing to find in general. Doesn't matter who it is, be it anyone in your life, you need that absolute trust where it doesn't matter. If there's any doubt, you do not go there at all.

[Andee 220524]

Interesting thread. I've seen similar on this board and others. Lots of stories about scams and near misses, lessons on human psychology, and philosophizing about the consequences of crossing the personal-business boundary. All conclude basically the same thing: Venturing down the path of lending money to an SP, MPA, stripper, etc leads to no good. I don't see evidence in this thread to the contrary, so I'm curious... Has anyone actually loaned money to their favorite hobby partner, had it paid back, and then continued with them "business as usual"?

 

I'm not being a smart ass, I honestly want to know. You see, I have this really close personal friend who recently loaned money to his favorite MPA and... :wink:

 

I believe it's already been said here - but think it's a bad idea to lend ANYONE money unless you're prepared to lose it. I do have a male friend who lent an SP money some money to help her start up a business and she did pay him back but I don't believe he even got a "thank you". (There was no business as usual after that because she ceased to be an SP). I can only guess she didn't really expect for him to ask for all of it back - I don't really know. She was never one of my favourite people.

 

I have another friend who lent a friend of 30 years, $1,000 and had to end up taking them to small claims court and getting a judgment to garnishee their wages because they would not acknowledge requests for repayment.

 

So as I've said before, you don't have to be an SP, MA or stripper to scam to be a scammer.

 

You either have it in you or you don't, regardless of your chosen profession.

[Tush_Push 275]

I believe it's already been said here - but think it's a bad idea to lend ANYONE money unless you're prepared to lose it. I do have a male friend who lent an SP money some money to help her start up a business and she did pay him back but I don't believe he even got a "thank you". (There was no business as usual after that because she ceased to be an SP). I can only guess she didn't really expect for him to ask for all of it back - I don't really know. She was never one of my favourite people.

 

I have another friend who lent a friend of 30 years, $1,000 and had to end up taking them to small claims court and getting a judgment to garnishee their wages because they would not acknowledge requests for repayment.

 

So as I've said before, you don't have to be an SP, MA or stripper to scam to be a scammer.

 

You either have it in you or you don't, regardless of your chosen profession.

Extremely well said Angela.

 

I believe it was Shakespear who wrote something along the lines of "never a lender nor a borrower be..." I've seen and heard of too many friendships being ruined by lending or borrowing $$$.

[Annessa 22743]

I'd be rehashing what everyone has said in this thread if i said its unfair to swear off all dancers or SPs as scammers.....dont let one or two bad apples make you toss out the crate.

 

in the same sense, I've been scammed and ripped off by a couple clients in my time...if I let myself believe that every next client was out to do the same to me I wouldnt still be in this business. you have to treat everyone differently as a new and individual person, and let your past experiences become a learning experience.....not fuel for any assumptions.

[Capital Hunter 18263]

I have been seeing a large number of dancers and many of them whom I know for a long time and they trust me enough, come over by themselves (I am outcalls only) for private dancing (to make extra money outside the dried up SCs, I guess).

 

Of all the ones whom I have seen over several years, there was one who called me one Thursday night (very late as I was sleeping) that she needs $300 immediately and like to come over and see me (private dance for me). I had already booked my Saturday with another dancer so I had to turn down the offer. But she insisted that she needs the money to buy medicine for her sick child and since she works undertable (as a dancer officially she had no job) she does not have insurance. So, we agreed that I pay her the $300 as a loan for this week and we would go to Barbs and she would return the money to me exactly a week later at a specific time (I did not want her over to my place again as dancer after the very late night and very persistence call as I smelled trouble). So, I dropped by Barbs and pass her the envelope with cash and she was supposed to come back and pay back the loan in full (she even suggested an added interest of $50 which I rejected). Needless to say that I went to Barbs a week later and waited for hours but she never showed up!!!. I called her only once but the phone rang for long and she never picked up (she must have had call display lol) and she never called me back and I never saw her in any SC that I went to either. I forgot about the $300 and considered that a money given to charity lol. In the long run she lost a lot more than what she gained (I would have had her at least a few times like others at $300 donation each time) but that never happened. In all many cases that I had dated private dancers, they have been all fun and joy with a few exceptions and this was an exception (another case too that I was almost stalked for days but that is another unrelated story lol)