The art of a . . . belch

[Jabba 18389]

The skill of crafting a really good belch is much like performing Shakespeare at the Globe Theatre. The opportunity and the moment of the performance comes perhaps only once to the lucky few. Those who practice the craft in all seriousness will, over time, gain notoriety, admiring looks and perhaps a little infamy. It's my life's work. Do you have the talent?

 

I've had some really good moments & others I'd much rather let rest in peace.

 

Options & locations:

In private. Alone in a darkened room. With a box of kleenex (to wipe up the drool).

In public at a fancy restaurant - I got quite a laugh for that one & embarrassed the shit out of my friends.

One I shared with a good friend - right in her left ear (I got slapped for that one).

In front of a mirror to tune facial expressions. Good for personal entertainment on a slow moment.

In front your children. Hey, where did you learn it from??

 

Technique:

Really loud.

With colour.

With texture.

With flavour mmmm..

Some are bubbly.

Verbally expressive.

Looong & smoothly burbly.

Constant decibel level & breath control - good for going through the alphabet.

Short and barking.

Single vowel (OOooooo is my favourite although I've been known to use Ehhhhh with a slight nasal overtone).

 

Of all the experts I've encountered, by far the best was my ex's sister. She could shame the worst of the worst! She was the only person I knew who could make me gag and laugh at the same time. What a natural.

 

Got gas?

[NotchJohnson 214123]

Jabba, where do you come from with all those crazy threads?

 

I'm not a big belcher except when I'm by myself or around my family. My specialty is the sneeze, burp, fart, all at the same time or one right after the other. I seem to build up pressure inside and I let it all out at the same time. Now the sneeze, burp, fart is not always in that order it can be modified to the burp, fart, sneeze or the fart burp, sneeze etc...

 

Sorry i did not want to hijack your thread so I'll let everyone continue with it.

[Jabba 18389]

Jabba, where do you come from with all those crazy threads?

 

Boredom my friend. Simple, mind-numbing, astounding & profound boredom.

Think of it as a creative outlet...sort of.

 

No highjack perceived.

[dirkgently 1778]

Jabba, where do you come from with all those crazy threads?

 

I'm not a big belcher except when I'm by myself or around my family. My specialty is the sneeze, burp, fart, all at the same time or one right after the other. I seem to build up pressure inside and I let it all out at the same time. Now the sneeze, burp, fart is not always in that order it can be modified to the burp, fart, sneeze or the fart burp, sneeze etc...

 

Sorry i did not want to hijack your thread so I'll let everyone continue with it.

sneeze, burp, fart - that's one of my specialties, especially when hiccping

[Gentleman11 10508]

Haven't givin belching much thought these past few decades but seem to remember a time when as a youngster I could swallow air and belch it back saying the entire alphabet - boy were my prepubescent friends impressed!! Am afraid to try and recreate that scenario these days as I have no way of telling which way the air would flow - up or down.

 

Obviously way to much time on my hands today....

[emiafish 30979]

On rare occasions I enjoy combos.

The classic burp/fart combo or as I like to call it "blasting from both ends".

The sneeze burb combo, messy and loud!

The rare hiccup burb combo, aka hic-urp.:icon_eek:

 

And my all time favorite the silent but deadly burp. This is when you burp with your mouth closed and then expell the half rotted food gas through pursed lips. I can direct a silent stink attack with the accuracy of a laser pointer. Great for elevators or crowded movie theatres.

[Gentleman11 10508]

I'm sure the ladies are enjoying this thread - NOT!! (lol)