strange phenomenon I have noticed on this board....

[cinelli 22184]

Seriously, I don't remember the last time I saw someone post or respond in an arrogant manner.

 

People disagree, but this is a very calm forum. Go to 4chan or some really frantic boards for comparison. If you think this place is hostile or the posters are arrogant you must be taking it too seriously.

 

As for posting to get brownie points: that would require psychic ability. How could anyone know for sure they would get props for a post?

 

You're overthinking this.

[Guest P**aq]

The answer: be in touch with yourself, be happy, know your own values and stick to them irregardless of external influence, be OK with who you are and all your unique characteristics, pursue your goals, maybe even go out and approach and meet people and share yourself with them (whatever that may mean to you). .

 

And you are correct in this advice, be in touch with yourself. The people here are happy and are in touch with themselves and that is why they enjoy the community and unique opinions (differing and agreeing) here, regardless of external influence. We even go out and touch and approach and touch each other in special ways ;)

 

In your rant, you have inadvertantly spoken out for why the members of CERB are here and enjoy this place so much. For that I thank you. In fact, I think I will thank your post and maybe it will warm your heart...ok, that was sarcasm ;)

 

To each his own, and all the best to you OP, whether you stay and enjoy or choose to leave.

[Miss Jessica Lee 43328]

I've scanned your post history and I don't see anyone being anything but helpful and answering the questions you asked. There are trolls on every board so if someone gave you grief all you have to do is report them to the Mod.

 

I'm not sure why anyone would take the time to look around at other board members, their posting habits, board behaviour and ethics and make assumptions, judgments and criticisms.... let alone start a thread about it. Bizarre.

[Carrie Moon 68826]

 

So as someone asked, what do I suggest be done about this problem that many refuse to admit even exists? I think its a reflection of society and people trying to gain self worth through external artificial means. Just like at the sports game when someone wears the wrong jersey and another fan gets angry for not supporting "my team"... People need to latch onto something to medicate their unhappy lives.

The answer: be in touch with yourself, be happy, know your own values and stick to them irregardless of external influence, be OK with who you are and all your unique characteristics, pursue your goals, maybe even go out and approach and meet people and share yourself with them (whatever that may mean to you). I used to be incredibly introverted and basically lived according to societies standards as to what I should do with my life. Down this road leads all the typical shit: unfulfilled job, bad marriage, etc etc and it would only be normal to try to medicate that the stuff I was mentioning. Thats why I really feel that on this board I am seeing symptoms of serious personal problems that need to be addressed: neediness, unfullfillment, cherishing of people,....

 

Get a real life! I say that in the most well meaning way possible. It might take stepping out of your comfort zone or leaving that shitty job or marriage but you and everyone you deal with will be much better off!

 

In closing, for those reasons and the large denial and jabs I just received for pointing out what I feel is sad and unhealthy behaviour, I have decided that this community is not something that I will partake in any more.

 

Really.. you could be saying the same thing about Facebook or twitter... you said it yourself. It's a reflection of society..

BUT assuming that people who 'like' each other's posts or generally agree positively about the same thing online doesn't mean at all that they 'have no life'.

 

Plus.. in reality? Most of my clients and same with many sp's are not even cerb members. Yes many cerb members stick to 'cerb' girls.. but we don't necessarily stick to just cerb clients..

 

You seem generally disillusioned right now and we all have those days/weeks/months or years even.

 

But your reality is what You choose it to be.. here, there and everywhere...

 

Starting out a thread basically telling people what's wrong with them.. will get them to 'white night' for themselves and each other. That's human nature.

 

Isn't there enough bullying and bashing online and in real life as it is? So we like to come here to see friends.. whether we only know them online or have met in person. What's wrong with that?

 

Keep in mind.. this is the only board I've known of where we have such a community. To you it's a virtual one.. but I personally know about 50-100 people on here.. in real life! I"m not the only one..

Some of the members are literally by best girlfriends in real life.

 

It's a rarity I"m sure for any online board (besides Facebook of course where I know all of my FB friends in real life).

[Ice4fun 78407]

Shit... this is an open forum... people can have any opinion they want... right or wrong. I come here for lots of reasons... when I come here some posts make me roll my eyes and some challenge me to think... some people's posts make me laugh and some make me wonder if they are ok....but that's the reality of an open community.. if it works for you stay and enjoy if it doesn't leave. When I see a topic I like I post a reply if you like it great.... if not great too.

 

Frankly I don't need you or anyone else analyzing me and placing their sense of judgment on me or my participation.

[piano8950 32577]

There seems to be a number of elite members most likely older, long time hobbyists who seem to think that it is a worthwhile endeavour to act as some sort of guardian of ethics, often responding to people inquires or concerns with overly serious and authoritative comebacks. These seem to me like attempts for these users to exercise the sense of pride they get from getting thanked posts from sp.'s all done in the guise of sticking up for them. These are the users that I see often responding with "remember it is a recommendation board not a review board!" or are quick to point out technicalities when someone mentions the slightest annoyance.

A recent post I saw where a user displayed frustration over sp's not returning his casual hello messages, saw a number of these users I'm taking about all competing for who could write the most proper sounding defence of how "its a business, were customers not friends!"... As a matter of fact perhaps they are right, BUT its the fact that these people felt the need to post these statements that troubles me.

 

I am seeing here an unhealthy level of neediness and a desire for a pat on the back, perhaps all geared towards getting some sort of recognition from the ladies who these users see for their services. It really comes across as a sad need for approval when they deliberately snap at users just to get brownie points and it gives the forum a bad name when they are ranked as elite members.

 

I kinda stopped reading halfway through since the followup comments seemed to morph into a different conversation. But in response to the OP, I can completely understand where he is coming from.

 

I'm not as prolific as some of the male members here, and normally I feel like an outsider looking in. It's not a bad place, and I'm not complaining, but it does give a perspective that might be overlooked.

 

I disagree with his assessment that some posters are looking for the 'thanks'. I really have no idea what their motives are, and while they may be entirely sincere, it sometimes doesn't feel that way.

 

As someone who has been here over two years, I feel this board has become less inclusive. For the most part everyone is nice, but certain beliefs have become so entrenched that when someone new comes along, with a genuine question, responses are intimidating. There is a bit of a 'holier then thou' attitude I've noticed.

 

An example I can think of - As a new member, I asked a question I saw posed to an escort on reddit, which had a race element to it. I honestly approached it with the most sincere and academic mindset, and not to stir up any trouble. Hindsight is 20/20, and despite whatever little reputation I have on this board, I'd never approach a subject like that again. I was lucky to have an amazing escort vouch for my character which seemed to have diverted any anger coming my way.

 

I have a feeling that if someone were to broach an equally controversial subject today, due to 'newbieness', they would be on the receiving end of a barrage of very intimidating comments. There are a few posters here that I honestly feel have the best intentions when saying something, but honestly, I feel as if the words talk down to the other party.

 

Going back to OP, it is given that a lot of topics have become recycled. A few members are more prolific then most others, and there exists a long set of spoken and unspoken rules (and why they exist). I think that some members do need to evaluate what benefit their post might make, especially when the person asking the question is new. Also if the manner in which they convey the message is demeaning and accusatory.

 

This reply went on longer then I expected, but just one more example that readers who have reached this point can completely ignore. A few weeks ago, there was a thread that allowed members to pose questions to SPs. There was one question that was a bit of a no-no. A lot of male members jumped in before an SP could reply answering that question. I think this example best shows what the OP might be getting on about (and again, I disagree with his reasoning, but as I seem to be the person that likes to disagrees so meh).

[Miss Jessica Lee 43328]

Thats why I really feel that on this board I am seeing symptoms of serious personal problems that need to be addressed: neediness, unfullfillment, cherishing of people,....

 

Get a real life! I say that in the most well meaning way possible. It might take stepping out of your comfort zone or leaving that shitty job or marriage but you and everyone you deal with will be much better off!

 

In closing, for those reasons and the large denial and jabs I just received for pointing out what I feel is sad and unhealthy behaviour, I have decided that this community is not something that I will partake in any more.

 

With all due respect do you realize what you sound like?

 

According to the abolitionists, sex workers are women & children who are damaged, frail, weak, defenseless and in need of rescue. They look at sex workers and clients and they see "sad and unhealthy" behaviour, they feel we need to get a "real life" or a real job, that we have "serious personal problems" that need to be addressed. They know nothing about any of us, but they are sure they know what's best for us...and even when we say... "no really, I'm fine!" they insist that we couldn't possibly be.

 

Much of what you're saying rings just like that. I'm going to stop participating in this thread now.