Support me while I orgasm (cool thread title, right?)

[Nathalie L 112512]

...so I was laying in savasna (corpse pose) at the end of my yoga class this evening and was thinking about orgasms. The teacher ended the class with a quote from Ghandi. Something along the lines of "we try to make other people happy in the ways that we want them to be happy. We are too attached to our own ways that sometimes, it's hard to be respectful of peoples processes" (I've paraphrased the quote).

 

I was laying and thinking about how elusive an orgasm can be at times. Sometimes I think people are too attached to getting people off the way they want to get them off, rather than helping them along their own process, or supporting them throughout their own process. Do we stop and think "how can I support this person?" "what does she/he need to get off?" "does that conflict with what I want to get them off?"

 

I think we get really attached to particular images and fantasies. Legs here, body parts there, contortions right, left (no your other left), and center... but is that really ideal? Is that what they want, or what we want?

 

I'm thinking a lot more people would have powerful orgasms if they were supported along their process. I have to admit that I've probably gotten wrapped up in this too, but I want to be more mindful from this point forward.

 

Now Ghandi was abstinent (much later in his life)....but hopefully he won't mind the inspiration ;)

 

Food for thought.

Nat xox

[Guest *l**e]

great finishing comment...lol

 

 

It's funny you posted this thread; I've actually had similar thoughts, but have been unable to describe them in words.

Through my massage biz, I've been learning this more and more. Every woman has different things they need to get them there, and even the same woman can need totally different things at different times.

I've been lucky enough that most of my clients have been great about telling me exactly what they want and as a result, I've learned a ton of different techniques that I may never have figured out on my own.

 

I think I've learned to listen, and even more importantly, I've learned to totally ditch my ego at the door.

 

Great thread...thanks

[Guest P**aq]

Yes, very cool thread title Natalie! I want to quote a part of your post:

 

I'm thinking a lot more people would have powerful orgasms if they were supported along their process. I have to admit that I've probably gotten wrapped up in this too, but I want to be more mindful from this point forward.

 

When I read that paragraph, I thought WOW! You should be a couple's sex therapist, that is so insightful and true!

 

Thank you!

(5)

[Guest fi****ek]

 

Now Ghandi was abstinent....but hopefully he won't mind the inspiration ;)

 

Food for thought.

Nat xox

 

Ghandi was astintent?! Ghandi is the poster boy for dirty old men.

[Brad 49548]

Nice thread.

 

I think it really shows the importance of being willing to communicate. So many people are shy about asking for what they want or offering some direction.

 

And it's a shame, because most people want to please. They want to hear about what works for a given person. And with the right tone or a coy smile, doing so can be done in a way that is itself sexy and enticing; it isn't a criticism.

 

The problem is without that communication the other person is left guessing a lot more, and so are going to naturally start with the ways they think will work. An attentive lover will try to pick up on signs, but it still leaves a lot more trial and error, like having a ring of keys you're going through one by one to open the lock! :)