Do you ask for change?

[olderguy 5797]

From my perspective.... If a lady says your visit is valued at $370, you put $370 in the envelope and that's it. Period. You knew up front - there was no "guesstimate" involved. I suspect you will travel past a store or bank or gas station or ?? and be able to break a $20 (or get the correct change) if it's an issue for you between your location, and the lady's. Generally speaking, you enter the lady's location, hug/kiss and place the envelope with your previously agreed amount in clear view. You enjoy your encounter and leave. Simple. For the most part, the ladies I have met rarely touch the envelope until I leave. Perhaps they peek when I go to clean up, which is fine, but it usually, is right where I placed it when I came in, throughout the encounter and when I leave. In my opinion, asking for change is just plain tacky. But, that's just this man's opinion :)

[roamingguy 300292]

Getting change, especially in five's and ten's is not difficult in this day and age, in fact in any day and age.

The rate is no surprise, you should know the ladies rate and have the exact donation ready to give her at the beginning of the encounter.

It is the client's responsibility to have the correct donation

And frankly, I can see asking for change as spoiling the mood. Yes this lifestyle is a business, but the business of providing a fantasy. The fantasy would be wrecked by dragging out the business end of an encounter

This lifestyle is a luxury, not a necessity and if you want to partake in it you should have the funds available to partake in it...if you need that five or ten dollars, maybe rethink your spending priorities

Now there may be some who do need that change, but my feeling is most of the men asking for change, the same sort of guys who complain about clock watchers

Another rambling

 

RG

[IsaMassage 54318]

Getting change, especially in five's and ten's is not difficult in this day and age, in fact in any day and age.

The rate is no surprise, you should know the ladies rate and have the exact donation ready to give her at the beginning of the encounter.

It is the client's responsibility to have the correct donation

And frankly, I can see asking for change as spoiling the mood. Yes this lifestyle is a business, but the business of providing a fantasy. The fantasy would be wrecked by dragging out the business end of an encounter

This lifestyle is a luxury, not a necessity and if you want to partake in it you should have the funds available to partake in it...if you need that five or ten dollars, maybe rethink your spending priorities

Now there may be some who do need that change, but my feeling is most of the men asking for change, the same sort of guys who complain about clock watchers

Another rambling

 

RG

 

What if that person has a physical disability and really doesn't have lots of disposable income... and yes paid companionship is a Luxury... but also sexuality, and intimacy can be a necessity... So Is this person not allowed to be able to enjoy once in a while some paid companionship? Because he doesn't have as much disposable income as others... that can afford to meet a lady on a weekly basis or even more often... just for fun... And unlike this other gentlemen this person. With the disability has a harder time to find companionship on the "more Conventional" ways....

And I am giving this scenario because I have a gentlemen that visits me, and he has told me how other ladies have taken advantage of his situation... what I absolutely find really sad and Low...

So my question is: Are only those with high disposable income allowed to partake of this life style?

[Guest c**io**m7]

What if that person has a physical disability and really doesn't have lots of disposable income... and yes paid companionship is a Luxury... but also sexuality, and intimacy can be a necessity... So Is this person not allowed to be able to enjoy once in a while some paid companionship? Because he doesn't have as much disposable income as others... that can afford to meet a lady on a weekly basis or even more often... just for fun... And unlike this other gentlemen this person. With the disability has a harder time to find companionship on the "more Convensional" ways....

 

I have avoided this thread because so many responses have almost sickened me.

 

Kudos PV for being the one to stand up for those who may have a real need to receive their change. I can completely understand every point of view made but, I cannot understand nor condone a generalization that anyone who needs his change is "cheap".

 

Cerb has proudly labelled itself as a non-judgemental community. We do not judge each other's sexual preferences, kinks, desires or fantasies. How can any of us therefore judge a persons financial situation against his/her sexual needs.

 

I am, sadly, disappointed with the judgements and generalizations being made in this thread.

[Nathalie L 112512]

What if that person has a physical disability and really doesn't have lots of disposable income... and yes paid companionship is a Luxury... but also sexuality, and intimacy can be a necessity... So Is this person not allowed to be able to enjoy once in a while some paid companionship? Because he doesn't have as much disposable income as others... that can afford to meet a lady on a weekly basis or even more often... just for fun... And unlike this other gentlemen this person. With the disability has a harder time to find companionship on the "more Conventional" ways....

And I am giving this scenario because I have a gentlemen that visits me, and he has told me how other ladies have taken advantage of his situation... what I absolutely find really sad and Low...

So my question is: Are only those with high disposable income allowed to partake of this life style?

 

Of course they do. It is definitely a case-by-case basis. I also have clients with disabilities (both visible and invisible) and their disposable income is limited. Some of my clients save for upwards of a year to be able to afford to come and see me. Never has one of these clients asked for change, or come unprepared for our meeting. In fact, there is quite a lot of preparation that goes into these encounters (both on my part, and on the part of my client).

 

I have avoided this thread because so many responses have almost sickened me.

 

Kudos PV for being the one to stand up for those who may have a real need to receive their change. I can completely understand every point of view made but, I cannot understand nor condone a generalization that anyone who needs his change is "cheap".

 

Cerb has proudly labelled itself as a non-judgemental community. We do not judge each other's sexual preferences, kinks, desires or fantasies. How can any of us therefore judge a persons financial situation against his/her sexual needs.

 

I am, sadly, disappointed with the judgements and generalizations being made in this thread.

 

I'm sorry you feel a lot of the generalizations in this thread are judgmental and unkind. I can definitely see how that could come across but I don't agree that the judgments are necessarily negative. Feeling uncomfortable in these situations is a very real feeling, and we all have knee-jerk reactions to the intersections of intimacy and money which may or may not be rational. Of course, if I knew one of my clients was in dire financial situations I would not judge him or her for asking for their $10. I would, however, take offense to someone who was not in dire financial need who did the same.

 

These are all case-by-case situations, of course, and the OPs initial question was, after all, asking for a general idea of what peoples reactions would be (not specifics).

 

I think Porthos' post gets at the core of the issue quite well, and so I won't repeat it.

[roamingguy 300292]

What if that person has a physical disability and really doesn't have lots of disposable income... and yes paid companionship is a Luxury... but also sexuality, and intimacy can be a necessity... So Is this person not allowed to be able to enjoy once in a while some paid companionship? Because he doesn't have as much disposable income as others... that can afford to meet a lady on a weekly basis or even more often... just for fun... And unlike this other gentlemen this person. With the disability has a harder time to find companionship on the "more Conventional" ways....

And I am giving this scenario because I have a gentlemen that visits me, and he has told me how other ladies have taken advantage of his situation... what I absolutely find really sad and Low...

So my question is: Are only those with high disposable income allowed to partake of this life style?

 

I actually do see your point. And think it is great you have change available for those who don't have the exact amount. In such cases as you cite yes I wouldn't see needing change as cheap. But quoting myself, second last line in my post

 

"Now there may be some who do need that change, but my feeling is most of the men asking for change, the same sort of guys who complain about clock watchers"

 

I'm not talking about those who really are in need of the change, but my guess, the vast majority of clients aren't really in need of the change. I also think it is great that you do offer change. But I guess no matter which side someone cites, either now it is coming down on the side of clients having the correct amount ready, or on the side that the lady should have change available for those clients who bring too much money

Personally, I am of the opinion that clients should have the correct amount available and they should not expect, nor should it be required of the lady to have change.

 

RG

[Guest c**io**m7]

Nathalie, I respect a great deal of your posts and opinions.

 

In fact though, a great deal of negative judgments and generalizations have been made in this thread...judgments such as "cheap" as well as generalizations that if the extra $$ cannot be afforded, maybe he/she should rethink spending priorities...

 

Again I question: what gives any of us the right to judge anyone in this lifestyle?

 

Additional Comments:

RG: agreed. The lady should not be expected to have change available. You are absolutely correct.

 

I am in agreement that the onus is on the client to have the correct donation.

 

I just don't agree with the labels being used here.

[Nathalie L 112512]

Nathalie, I respect a great deal of your posts and opinions.

 

In fact though, a great deal of negative judgments and generalizations have been made in this thread...judgments such as "cheap" as well as generalizations that if the extra $$ cannot be afforded, maybe he/she should rethink spending priorities...

 

Again I question: what gives any of us the right to judge anyone in this lifestyle?

 

Point taken. I myself used the term 'mortified' in my post. However, that wasn't based on my own judgment of people necessarily, but rather, my own discomfort at having to discuss finances explicitly with clients when we are face-to-face.

 

I have no right to judge anyone. Conversely, many clients do try to get 'deals', or cheaper appointments if they are having financial difficulties. Unfortunately, I can't take responsibility if one of my clients can't afford to see me... It's hard not to get judgmental in this industry when I think of someone asking for change. As others have said, I do think it's the responsibility of the client him or herself to insure they have the appropriate amount. It has never happened to me (thank goodness) and I'm sure I would handle the situation gracefully. But I would be lying if I said it wouldn't throw me off.

 

I'm just being completely honest here.

Nat xox

 

Additional Comments:

Totally agree re: the labels! I need to park my judgment!

[Bianca Jaguar 39183]

Nathalie as said it well...it makes it akward to say the least..and it happened to me when i started less then a year ago...maybe 2 or 3 times..ugh. I did have the change and I gave it on 2 occasions, the 3rd one I had no change! but it felt really akward....and yes I thought to myself...hmmm why not have the correct amount!!!

 

BJ

[Guest c**io**m7]

I think it's a fascinating discussion to be honest. I really hope people post their opinions on the topic. It really gets at the messiness of providing paid intimate services... :)

 

The question is so simply, and yet it involves incredibly complex emotions.

 

Absolutely!! It is messy and complex.

 

It's fascinating the effort put in by hobbyists and providers to avoid the discomfort of the financial portion of the encounter when, in fact, without the business transaction, there is no encounter. Seems almost ironic.

 

But, definitely, issue of change would not exist if the correct amount was in the envelope. By the way, TD, RBC and CIBC ATMs give out $50 bills now so odd amounts can be withdrawn.

[conquistador 18487]

...some people has more than others but this does NOT make the Person CHEAP or a BAD Client...

 

I would agree with this, just because someone asks for change doesn't make them a bad client, of course not... They had the proper amount for the session...it's all about the person and how he treats the girl...that makes them good/bad.

 

I did use cheap for when a guy wants change, but really only for those guys that can afford it and have the money to spare.

 

I hear what you're saying about people less fortunate and with little money and everything counts to them, then yes i would completely understand wanting their change...maybe they need that money to get home from the session.

 

Cheers.

[Kellyxo 11682]

Regarding the label of cheap...

 

If you went to a restaurant with friends and your bill came out to 36 dollars. If you handed two 20's and sat at the table waiting for your server to get you your two toonies every one of your friends would call you cheap, regardless of what you needed those toonies for.

 

Your server would be standing there with an internal monologue of what did i do to upset this person, or wow this guys is cheap.

 

The question isn't whether you need to pay more or whether anyone can question how you spend your money. If you don't want to pay that extra 5 or 10 then dont give it to her in the first place.

 

Society is full of judgements and expectations, and this would qualify as cheap in most service industries. If you don't want to or cant afford to tip then take the extra diligence to not draw attention to the payment process.

[lipualipua 4704]

Why call someone cheap because he asks for change? Do you know his financial circumstance? As long as he has paid the agreed-to amount, he has done fine. What he does with any money left over is his business.

 

Biblical "scholars" may be familiar with this case which, even if fictional, has a lesson to teach us: workmen were hired at the start of the day to till a field for an agreed amount of money. A few hours to closing time another batch was hired to join the first batch in the work. At closing time, all workers were paid the same amolunt of money. The first group complained and the employer asked them whether they had not been paid the agreed-to amount, concludig that he is free to do as he pleases with his money after having met his contractual obligations.

 

Could the first group have called the employer names, in efect judging him? Same here. Client has paid the agreed-to amount; asking for change must not invite name calling.

[mrgreen760 37785]

In the end it'll always be about money.

 

Peace

MG

[Guest c**io**m7]

Regarding the label of cheap...

 

If you went to a restaurant with friends and your bill came out to 36 dollars. If you handed two 20's and sat at the table waiting for your server to get you your two toonies every one of your friends would call you cheap, regardless of what you needed those toonies for.

 

Your server would be standing there with an internal monologue of what did i do to upset this person, or wow this guys is cheap.

 

The question isn't whether you need to pay more or whether anyone can question how you spend your money. If you don't want to pay that extra 5 or 10 then dont give it to her in the first place.

 

Society is full of judgements and expectations, and this would qualify as cheap in most service industries. If you don't want to or cant afford to tip then take the extra diligence to not draw attention to the payment process.

 

And therein lies the issue. By labelling the person in this example as cheap, we are making the assumption that we know him/her, their life and their situation.

 

What if that $36 meal is the only treat this person has given himself all year due to dire straits? Maybe the $4 is vital in his situation. Unless we know the person, we cannot know the situation and therefore cannot judge. Unfortunately most would not take a moment to wonder if there is a valid reason. Instead, 99% of society would react exactly as in your scenario.

 

All I am saying is that, sometimes pass on benefit of the doubt, re-wire thinking and make assumptions that challenge the societal norm just in case the situation in front of you is unique and deserved of respect instead of negativity.

[Brad 49548]

I think it's perfectly fine if $5 or $10 bucks does mean a lot to a person, and that this hobby should not just be for the wealthy. A lot of folks have to spend a fair bit of time saving up for the pleasure of an encounter.

 

But, while it's OK to be in a situation where each dollar matters, it simply makes a lot more sense to have the exact change arranged ahead of time, rather than putting the onus on the lady and assuming she'll be able to provide it, and deal with the potential awkwardness of that conversation.

 

I mean, I certainly understand that not everyone has the same level of disposable income, but I'd just hate to turn the friendly hug goodbye moment into a situation where the lady is digging through her couch cushions trying to find a few more quarters. :)

[lipualipua 4704]

All I am saying is that, sometimes pass on benefit of the doubt, re-wire thinking and make assumptions that challenge the societal norm just in case the situation in front of you is unique and deserved of respect instead of negativity.

 

So true, Curiousm7. The case eliciting one's scorn may diverge from what society accepts as the norm. In a lartger context, the world would be an infinitely better place if people could get rid of their sense of "better-than-other-ness". Cheers.

[bluesman5 150]

Not sure "cheap" is the issue here. In my mind, asking for a few dollars change fails the "consideration and respect" test by refocusing the encounter in an uncomplimentary light. Yes, of course money is part of the equation, but not the part that makes it memorable - and worth doing.

 

I would personally never put myself (or the SP) in such a position. IMHO, asking for change demonstrates a disturbing lack of forethought and consideration.

[cat 262460]

Unlike a spa location, independent and agency providers don't have a till or money box and we don't keep cash on site, I can't make change except from what the last client brought me. Honestly, the ones who need the change generally arrive with the correct donation. They've been waiting and planning for our time together; they are prepared above and beyond. During the times of my life, when $ was tight, I made sure there was no room for confusion. I do have clients that live on pension and have limited funds. They aren't the ones who ask for change. It's the men who walk in, roll off the $20's from a wad of cash that they always seem to have and then stand there expectantly waiting for a girl to go fish for the change that makes no sense to me. Funny thing, in my experience they also are the ones that seem to want to push other boundaries and ensure they "get their money's worth".

 

A little clarification about "cheap". There is a correlation to the generousness of spirit and one's wallet that has nothing to do with a persons financial situation. It's not the act of genuinely needing the change and asking for it, it's the energy behind the ask. It's easy to feel the difference between someone who is asking out of financial necessity and one who is simply cheap by nature. Being cheap with minute amounts of cash will often reflect a miserly intention of how your share your energy and spirit. It is an anti-seducer that will dry me out faster than Mitchum applied directly to my cookie and even after adding copious amounts of lube does nothing to enhance the experience we are about to share.

 

It's like going out to dinner where the bill is $97 and leaving $115 then waiting for the $.45 change...

 

cat

[kmwq 5477]

I like to book with the ladies a few days in advance to give myself time to get cleaned up, hair cut, shave, shower, tend to nails and going to the bank and getting the correct amount of money are all part of the routine leading up to the appointment. I treat it as if I'm going on a date with these ladies, so I've never been in the situation where I needed to ask for change. Personally, I would not ask for change if it happened. Having said that, I also do not tip. I tip wait staff, taxi drivers, hotel room cleaners etc. I just don't see these ladies in the same light and the amount is agreed to in advance so I stick to it.

[Ice4fun 78407]

It is an anti-seducer that will dry me out faster than Mitchum applied directly to my cookie and even after adding copious amounts of lube does nothing to enhance the experience we are about to share.

 

cat

 

That by far is the best comment I have read in a long time... what a great way with words.

[piano8950 32577]

In fact though, a great deal of negative judgments and generalizations have been made in this thread...judgments such as "cheap" as well as generalizations that if the extra $$ cannot be afforded, maybe he/she should rethink spending priorities...

 

Again I question: what gives any of us the right to judge anyone in this lifestyle?.

 

Agree with this here. Went through this thread and counted at least 5 times someone flat out called a person cheap for asking for change.

 

This thread could have taken a much better route instead of putting down a type of person, but rather a positive re-enforcement of the correct etiquette (some respondents have done so, but I think it has gotten a bit lost in the deluge of cheapness and label discussions).

[Kathryn Bardot 99339]

It really is as simple as "be prepared"...

Or would you rather ask for change, and watch ten minutes of your session together be devoted to the provider having to get out her purse/wallet, hoping that she has the change? The awkward conversation if she doesn't?

Congratulations, you just cock-blocked yourself ;)

[Isabella Gia (Banned) 53881]

While I would not consider someone asking me for change cheap as he is totally entitled to it, I agree with what many had pointed out here, most of us providers post our fees in ads, websites or/and profiles so is not like the client who walks somewhere not knowing how much he will spend.

 

Now, if I were the kind of provider who is a clock watcher and as soon as I see the hour or two are almost over start rushing things then I would understand clients being as careful with their money as I am with my time but with me not working like that then I think someone asking me for a $5 or $10 back would be as awkward and inappropriate as me saying 'Time is up' please leave besides, for safety purposes I do not keep cash on me other than a $20 and maybe some spare change but I would find it awkward to have to go get my purse and that to give someone change back and having to count dimes, quarters. etc. to give someone change back.

 

However IF an exceptional situation presented with someone I had previously met and let's say he knows he only has $100 bills and would need $80 back but will have no time to stop by a bank or ATM or for discretion purposes can't take money out from ATM, then as long as I'm giving enough notice I wouldn't mind having the change ready for him in an envelope same way my fee is given to me and would give it to him upon arrival after getting my envelope and as usual not mention anything about it during our time together but as I said this would be an exception and would only do it for someone I consider reliable.

[aimtoplease1 1839]

I would never & have never asked for change & never gave it a second thought...until just a couple of months ago as I was coming out of the shower the lady handed me my change. I was taken by surprise & of course said no thanks that's your's . I just thought it was sweet of her to offer...first time in over 15 yrs.. I've never even got a thank you before.