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A Complete History of My Sexual Failures

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A-ha! And you thought this would be about MY sexual failures (a work in three volumes -- just finishing up the index). But no, I'm wondering whether anyone else has seen this little independent movie from England that I just stumbled across last week. The trailer is here:

 

 

Part-time musician and independent film maker Chris Waitt heads out to see why every woman he's ever dated has dumped him (and why he's having a bit of dysfunction Down There). It's really more about relationship failures than sexual ones, but it does spend enough time on the latter to justify the attention-grabbing title. :)

 

Calling it a pure documentary is a bit of a stretch -- Chris is certainly a lot more insightful than he lets on most times. This isn't journalism. But it's all done with great humour, and some scenes had me laughing to the point of tears and gasping for breath.

 

Among Chris' encounters:

 

- a doctor's genuine medical advice on the condition of his equipment, plus a few dubious alternative therapies and an attempt to "wake the snake" with tantric massage

 

- a dominatrix (who's clearly having a lot of fun at this point) who canes Chris while making him apologize to every woman he's ever wronged in the past, and includes the exchange "DON'T be pissin' the Irish off!" "Uh, she's actually Welsh."

 

- a late-night talk in the street with a pair of older Scottish gents who are well into their evening, and who manage to share a few of their insights into sexual technique ("Don't just rush in there... kiss her wee mouth, kiss her wee neck..."), one-night stands, and sex when you're in love.

 

- we get to meet Alex, a young journalist from Moscow, who is thoughtful, fun-loving, artistic, bisexual, and quite possibly the coolest woman on the planet.

 

Takes some luck or creativity to see it, as it's not released yet in North America. But apparently it's being remade by Universal, so a studio version will be along sometime. Waitt is Executive Producer, so it looks like Chris has made good in the end.

 

Grab and watch at first opportunity. Best watched with a friend, so you can share!

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