Class and subtlety

[scribbles 6031]

Am I the only one who feels that the general level of dialogue in the forums has degenerated over the last year or so? I mean, I know we're all adults here, and all here to discuss very adult things, but it seems as though there has been a slide towards coarser and more vulgar language, to the point of it being almost offensive.

 

I'm definitely not some kind od shrinking violet, and I have no problem with a certain degree of vulgarity. My favorite authors are some of the most disgusting writers, in a strangely eloquent way (Warren Ellis).

 

But frequently reading customers referring to dancers and SPs as "pussy," and reading more and more ads titled along the lines of "cum let me stroke your fat cock until you soak my tits and pussy like a cum canvas" make me wonder if this is really how we would want the industry represented to outsiders.

 

Just a thought.

[Ice4fun 78407]

I am not sure I have recognized any major shift in the tone of the threads here on CERB Over the last year. I have seen some ads that have tended to be more blunt ( Some might say vulgar) but i have to think that these SP'S are doing whatever seems to work for them. On the flip side I have seen some amazing ads written by people like Nathalie and Delilah and others that are just written master pieces from my perspective.

 

Bottom line it's an open forum so people will express themselves in many ways and use language that best meets their needs.... there will be an ebb and flow... flow along with he things you like and ignore the rest there is room for all of us I think.

 

Just my opinion.

[Studio 110 by Sophia 150333]

I hear ya!

I think I am probably the "prudest" hooker on site! LMAO...

 

No for real, I hear ya!

I consider myself a lady while at work or not ( NO insult for the ladies who are R rated!) . In my personal life I am extremely conservative and even in my professional persona, I am still conservative in my advertising style, pics and communication.

BUT once we meet me, then all goes wild!

 

Never sure if this helps my cause or hurts it, but either way...

I am just me! And will not change what I feel is comfortable for a trend...

But the ones who pull it off, WOW you do it well!!!

 

xoxoox

THANKS FOR THIS THREAD!

[Guest Be***iful****lah]

On the flip side I have seen some amazing ads written by people like Nathalie and Delilah and others that are just written master pieces from my perspective.

 

Wow. You sure are wiggling your way Into my panties, err, I mean brain....umm what?

 

Thanks Hun!!! You're so sweet!:)

[Ice4fun 78407]

Wow. You sure are wiggling your way Into my panties, err, I mean brain....umm what?

 

Thanks Hun!!! You're so sweet!:)

 

Well I have always been partial to warm wet spots so i can't think of a better place that I could wiggle myself into.

[Isabella Gia (Banned) 53881]

I will give my opinion on this topic. I am one of the ladies who prefer not use explicit language in my advertising and in my posts because is not in my personality so I would be using what some like to read to attract readers and/or potential guests who would come see someone I'm not however I have always respected ladies who have a different approach than mine.

 

There has been in the past one or two ads that I thought were a bit too explicit, or what you call vulgar and I admit to have made in my mind an idea of what the posters were like and with time through posts they started making that weren't ads, I realized that wording in ads didn't define the person they are, and definitely does not make them unclassy, there's also ladies who never use explicit language in their ads and even use the word classy in them and in my opinion (based on things I saw) they are not.

 

Class is not in what you wear or the words one use in an ad or post but in how you (the real you) carry yourself so I don't think an ad defines if a lady is or isn't classy.

 

As for the way some men refer to ladies here, I agree with you than some should be more respectful but is the same as with ladies, I have had a not so great almost encounter with a member here who in many of his threads comment how he is a gentleman and with me he didn't act like one which is why I think that words are just that and don't make us who we are.

 

There was also a time with one of the most respected members here (don't think he is active anymore) was in the general chat room giving very intimate details of his time with a lady and using language that I wouldn't like to be used when talking about me so I asked to please stop referring to her like that and to take his conversation to a private chat, he told me that this is an adult forum and that I needed to grow up so I guess what I'm trying to say is that is not about the words used but the respect or lack of it behind them. Hope I am making sense :)

[Ice4fun 78407]

I will give my opinion on this topic. I am one of the ladies who prefer not use explicit language in my advertising and in my posts because is not in my personality so I would be using what some like to read to attract readers and/or potential guests who would come see someone I'm not however I have always respected ladies who have a different approach than mine and do.

 

There has been in the past one or two ads that I thought were a bit too explicit, or what you call vulgar and I admit to have made in my mind an idea of what the posters were like and with time through posts they started making that weren't ads, I realized that wording in ads didn't define the person they are, and definitely does not make them unclassy, there's also ladies who never use explicit language in their ads and even use the word classy in their them and in my opinion (based on things I saw) they are not.

 

Class is not in what you wear or the words one use in an ad or post but in how you (the real you) carry yourself so I don't think an ad defines if a lady is or isn't classy.

 

As for the way some men refer to ladies here, I agree with you than some should be more respectful but is the same as with ladies, I have had a not so great almost encounter with a member here who in many of his threads comment how he is a gentleman and with me he didn't act like one which is why I think that words are just that and don't make us who we are.

 

There was also a time with one of the most respected members here (don't think he is active anymore) was in the general chat room giving very intimate details of his time with a lady and using language that I wouldn't like to be used when talking about me so I asked to please stop referring to her like that and to take his conversation to a private chat, he told me that this is an adult forum and that I needed to grow up so I guess what I'm trying to say is that is not about the words used but the respect or lack of it behind them. Hope I am making sense :)

 

I agree 100% that we should always moderate what we say publicly about others and that without specific approval of the other party we should use maximum discretion in talking about others. My comments related mainly to the language or tone used by people in their ads.... i personally am not a big fan of the more explicit ads but if they work for the SP in question... than good for them.

[CristyCurves 169032]

Since I'm not a subtle person perhaps I just don't notice:) I've been here since 2011 and I haven't noticed any changes, but then again I don't pay much attention to others ads and I only look at threads that I find interesting or ones I feel I could add to. My writings/ads/posts and threads vary from explicit to somewhat conservative. They sometimes are expressions of my moods and feelings but certainly don't define who I am or how much class I have or don't have or anyone has for that matter.

This is a forum where there are a multitude of personalities selling and searching for sex so I think it should be expected to see x rated to prim and if someone is sensitive to explicit language this may not be the place for them. After all a lot of these ads are written in fun, with a desire to peek interest, arouse and stimulate, certainly not to offend:) and if they do ignore them and read the ones you like:)

[scribbles 6031]

I've been around since 2011 as well. It just struck me recently that I seem to be noticing more and more ads that are far more explicit and blunt than I used to. Don't get me wrong, I don't think ads should be literary pieces or a poetic opus, and I bow to the obvious that people will do what works, but it seems at odds with the image of the industry the industry itself tries to project (at least in here.)

 

I don't know how many comments and threads I've seen referring to this "hobby" (a term I hate) as a commercialized relationship where discreet gentlemen enjoy the time and company of beautiful, sophisticated women. The transaction, if you will, is expressed with such romanticism, and there seems to be a consistent effort to paint a picture where it isn't *really* about sex. In short, we seem to try and clean it up.

 

Then, again, you have bluntly graphic ads and language from customers that doesn't seem to match the romantic persona everyone superficially tries to affect.

 

It really is just a passing comment. I'm not offended by anything I read, and graphic language doesn't bother me in the least. I just find the incongruity of our professed image and the one given by our language jarring, and different from when I first joined in 2011. And, I wonder what that says about us all, collectively.

 

Lastly, I will confess that I can find it a little grating sometimes, but almost exclusively when I read how some phrase their discernment as connoisseurs of women in terms of "I know my pussy!"

 

Maybe sometimes the dirty talk is best left to private exchanges? Otherwise, it *can* say something about your respect for yourself and others.

[CristyCurves 169032]

 

But frequently reading customers referring to dancers and SPs as "pussy," and reading more and more ads titled along the lines of "cum let me stroke your fat cock until you soak my tits and pussy like a cum canvas" make me wonder if this is really how we would want the industry represented to outsiders.

 

Just a thought.

I wanted to add-I think a man referring to a woman as "pussy" is quite different than a provider writing a graphic ad.

Calling a woman "pussy" is disrespectful and rude and does define ones character, imo. Where writing a graphic ad to sell sex is a way to attract business and a certain type of clientele. Some will like it some won't. Some will find it arousing, some won't. I certainly don't think it shines a bad light on the business though. Talking dirty isn't a sign of having or not having, class, intelligence or any other ability, nor does it define ones character.

I think those who are opposed to this industry aren't going to swayed more if the ad above read: I invite you to relish in my beauty and explore my sensual talents. Dressed up or down an ad, explicit or not, is selling the same thing:)

[Warped88 5815]

I can carry on a conversation with the most rugged sailor. No. Problem. At. All.

 

However, I was brought up not to do so in certain situations. Public forums, such as this one, is one of them. So, you'll rarely see me drop an f-bomb on here or use blunt sexual expressions--I won't even do this in PMs unless I know you very well.

 

But, I'm also laid back and have no issues with others speaking in whatever way they wish. Certainly not in ads (there's one person who posted in here whose ads I love...and they can be quite explicit.)

 

It's going to come down to context for me: that decides whether I'm bothered by it or not.

 

EDITING to say:

 

What we're all here looking for, and offering, is as diverse as the personalities present. So, I guess it stands to reason that the language we encounter is going to be diverse as well....

[mrgreen760 37785]

The game is a changing big time....this is just one small component of that change.

 

Peace

MG

[fortunateone 156618]

I think i have noticed what the OP says. I always click New Posts when i come online and then pick thru what I want to click on, so i always see the ad titles that are posted daily as well.

 

I dislike titles that have really bad spelling and grammar, and i do have to say, most often, those would be the kind of ad titles he is referring to. They aren't graphic as much as they are crude to the lowest common denominator, and perhaps lacking all the prohibited symbols, would be most commonly found on what people derisively refer to as 'bp' ads lol.

 

having said that i have to assume two things: crude ad titles are not against the rules of the site (unless they include weird symbols and so on) and that they are working for the advertiser on this particular site. In other words, tho we may see ourselves, us long time members, as being above all that bp crudity, apparently we are not as classy as we think we are?

 

:sex_porn:

[Ann Gallerie 7910]

I am new here.

 

I am reminded that this is an open forum. From what I have seen, there is a wide range of types and personalities on both sides. Conservative may work for one, raunchy with the other, and sometimes opposites attract!

 

I find the "p" term revolting.

 

While we are at it, as a new person, "hobbyist" is better suited to pimply teenage boys building model airplanes. "Provider" sounds like they're selling tv/internet bundles in the mall. Who dreams this stuff up, anyway? :smile:

[PistolPete 61421]

Well said Kelly " to each their own "

[Guest Be***iful****lah]

I've been around since 2011 as well. It just struck me recently that I seem to be noticing more and more ads that are far more explicit and blunt than I used to. Don't get me wrong, I don't think ads should be literary pieces or a poetic opus, and I bow to the obvious that people will do what works, but it seems at odds with the image of the industry the industry itself tries to project (at least in here.)

 

I don't know how many comments and threads I've seen referring to this "hobby" (a term I hate) as a commercialized relationship where discreet gentlemen enjoy the time and company of beautiful, sophisticated women. The transaction, if you will, is expressed with such romanticism, and there seems to be a consistent effort to paint a picture where it isn't *really* about sex. In short, we seem to try and clean it up.

 

Then, again, you have bluntly graphic ads and language from customers that doesn't seem to match the romantic persona everyone superficially tries to affect.

 

It really is just a passing comment. I'm not offended by anything I read, and graphic language doesn't bother me in the least. I just find the incongruity of our professed image and the one given by our language jarring, and different from when I first joined in 2011. And, I wonder what that says about us all, collectively.

 

Lastly, I will confess that I can find it a little grating sometimes, but almost exclusively when I read how some phrase their discernment as connoisseurs of women in terms of "I know my pussy!"

 

Maybe sometimes the dirty talk is best left to private exchanges? Otherwise, it *can* say something about your respect for yourself and others.

 

Very interesting observations. There is a mix of idealism and romanticism with brute and raw truth. Both " hobbyists" and providers can sway back and forth from elegance and class to crudeness and vulgarity. I don't see how the two will ever be separate from the other. Those appear to be two completely opposite, and yet completely relevant equations to this scene as a whole.

If you think about it, marriage has this picture of purity in our society. And yet there is cock sucking and dirty talking and cheating and all kinds of debauchery within much of it. Of course, no one would dare speak of it.... But its the TRUTH.

 

So here on cerb we have the beautiful romantic elements intertwined with the carnality and rawness of human nature. What I find awesome is that neither factor is hidden. We see both clearly and in my opinion it's a beautiful ironic truth.

 

Just some random thoughts on that....interesting comments and insights!

 

Additional Comments:

I am new here.

 

I am reminded that this is an open forum. From what I have seen, there is a wide range of types and personalities on both sides. Conservative may work for one, raunchy with the other, and sometimes opposites attract!

 

I find the "p" term revolting.

 

While we are at it, as a new person, "hobbyist" is better suited to pimply teenage boys building model airplanes. "Provider" sounds like they're selling tv/internet bundles in the mall. Who dreams this stuff up, anyway? :smile:

 

We should totally come up with new terms lol! I never know what to replace those words with.

[Guest B**** Fo***ine]

I am not sure I have recognized any major shift in the tone of the threads here on CERB Over the last year. I have seen some ads that have tended to be more blunt ( Some might say vulgar) but i have to think that these SP'S are doing whatever seems to work for them. On the flip side I have seen some amazing ads written by people like Nathalie and Delilah and others that are just written master pieces from my perspective.

 

Bottom line it's an open forum so people will express themselves in many ways and use language that best meets their needs.... there will be an ebb and flow... flow along with he things you like and ignore the rest there is room for all of us I think.

 

Just my opinion.

 

There is something for everyone, and some types of services just presents themselves better with a more "direct" approach ! Like Domination, especially the fetish and hardcore stuff.

You choose an SP for their strengths, character, skill and some looks that best suits your liking not according to what is comfortable for the person in the room. I'm all for individuality and confidence, and if it means using words that is considered "explicit" to some, go for it! I'm behind you one hundred percent.

Over the years my direct language and choice of words has provided me a very clear communication as to what my guests can expect. From the adds that advertise the soft and fluffy to the hardcore strap-on, bondage and pain.

Two thumbs up for anyone who is honest, and follows their heart!!

Love and light to everyone xxoo

[bcguy42 38594]

Though I've not been here forever, I've seen the differing ad types come and go as well as differing modes of expression from various members.

 

My thoughts are this. Advertisers will do what works for them. If their ads are not working or don't draw the client they want the ads will change. If the ads are working for them their ads will remain the same.

 

The persona displayed by any given member will be attractive to some providers and not to others. If the member finds he can book arrangements to his satisfaction then there is no problem.

 

It all sorts itself out in the end.

[Carrie Moon 68826]

I have noticed it esp in the ads.. but I think it comes from the influx of people who are used to posting on CL in the past and the general tone of that ad forum was more crass...

To each their own. You attract what you like and what is like you :)

[Midnite-Energies 110563]

I think it all boils down to acceptance. We are all human and as such, have fluctuations in how we feel, what we want/need and the energy we're feeling at any given moment. Some days you're in the mood for intimacy and snuggles while another day you just want to be taken and pleasured. Depending on your mood, you gravitate towards the ads (or to writing the ads) that match but it also means that those opposite might stick out.

 

Sometimes depending on our moods, we ignore all that doesn't match us or they stick out like a sore thumb and turn us off.

 

I don't think it speaks to the industry as much as it speaks to people and to sexuality. Even if you were not in this industry in any way, you would still have all the fluctuations. If you had a partner, one day you might want to wine and dine and then another to bend them over the kitchen table.

 

It's also about those things that are "outside our norm" or not the way we would do things. Again, it's human nature to say "I would never do or say that". As has been pointed out, everyone does what works for them at any given time of the day. I'm sure outsiders reading it would judge the industry based on what they see but honestly, we do that among ourselves too, don't we?

[Guest Be***iful****lah]

If you read some of my very first ads on here you will notice that I was allowing myself to be influenced by what seemed to be the popular method of advertising.

 

Obviously it works for many women, but i have to say when I was sitting at my keyboard, brainstorming what i could possibly write...I was literally hit by fits of giggles every time some crass phrase popped into my mind.

 

 

I felt like I was was trying to be someone I was not and finally decided, "fuck that, I will just be who I am "...

 

So from that moment I decided to ignore every other AD and not allow it to influence how I might word my own.

 

Maybe a lot of ladies do what I was doing...which is try to fit into what may appear to be the expected mold. I mean, if everyone else is doing it, somehow it works right?

 

Personally I think uniqueness and sincerity are key sellers. Be who you are, write what you feel, say what you think, be yourself and don't try to fit into any mold.

 

Again...there is a really great chance that I am completely off the mark....I'm certainly no expert or pro to this scene.

[Miss S. Lane 67128]

...So from that moment I decided to ignore every other AD and not allow it to influence how I might word my own.

 

 

 

Maybe a lot of ladies do what I was doing...which is try to fit into what may appear to be the expected mold. I mean, if everyone else is doing it, somehow it works right?

 

 

 

Personally I think uniqueness and sincerity are key sellers. Be who you are, write what you feel, say what you think, be yourself and don't try to fit into any mold.

 

Hmm, I'm not sure I like what you've said here. Advertisements ARE personal expression. Each woman in this industry is unique and our ads provide a first impression into that particular SWers style, as the type of clients they wish to see.

 

If one woman's style of advertising is to be what some may call "crass" (who the hell came up with the rule book on what crass looks like anyway? It seems to be individual perception!) -- what if that IS her being who they are, writing what they feel, saying what they think, being themselves and not needing to fit in a mold? Fairly presumptuous to think otherwise.

 

I am in desperate need of new ads as I'm bored with mine, however the last thing I will do is read through and judge others ads.

 

To each their own!!!

[Guest Be***iful****lah]

Hmm, I'm not sure I like what you've said here. Advertisements ARE personal expression. Each woman in this industry is unique and our ads provide a first impression into that particular SWers style, as the type of clients they wish to see.

 

If one woman's style of advertising is to be what some may call "crass" (who the hell came up with the rule book on what crass looks like anyway? It seems to be individual perception!) -- what if that IS her being who they are, writing what they feel, saying what they think, being themselves and not needing to fit in a mold? Fairly presumptuous to think otherwise.

 

I am in desperate need of new ads as I'm bored with mine, however the last thing I will do is read through and judge others ads.

 

To each their own!!!

 

Actually Savannah that's exactly what I meant;) I am saying exactly that: Be who you are regardless of however it may be labelled. It is possible that some ladies are trying to fit in a mold as I tried at the beginning. But if she feels great and comfortable and feels it represents her and/or her services I think it's perfect to be straight out with whatever words suit her message.

I would never judge or look down on someone's ad. As long as they are happy and comfortable and feel good about it I wouldn't want it any other way.

[Phaedrus 209521]

Perhaps there's a little more crudeness around than there used to be. I must admit, I'd thought of it more in terms of particular posters, rather than a general trend.

 

I think, on balance, it's useful. Ads are a useful window into a provider's personality, and clients will follow up - or not - depending on whether they like what they see. And I'm sure some of the ladies here pre-screen us guys based on what we post.

[PistolPete 61421]

. And I'm sure some of the ladies here pre-screen us guys based on what we post.

 

And not taking away from the original post, but ladies have a section/friends within the community to verify the possible gent for a session.

 

The crudeness, if we really want to call it that, or crass, or whatever word anyone wants to use, whatever advertisement works, kudos to those that use their type advertisement. It never has struck me about more of it or less, it's always been around and to be perfectly honest, 99% of advertisements on here have my attention :)

 

Carry on you sexy ladies of Cerb ;)