I got freaked out today.

[basketballer0505 694]

I spoke with an out of towner SP on the phone, arranged an appointment. When I got to the hotel, which was quite small and should have probably made me leave right then, I walked in and the lady at the front desk says "How can I help you?"

 

So I said I was visiting someone. She asked what room, so I made up a similar room number, she asked what name, so I made up a first and last name. And she said it didn't match. "Oh well let me give them a call and I'll double check! They must have told me the wrong room, or maybe the wrong hotel!" And I walked out of their and drove off.

 

And that was enough excitement for one day.

 

Anything similar to this ever happen to anyone??

[throckmortonpruddygo 2025]

Yes it has. I just say "No, thanks, I am good" and keep walking to the room, or down the hall. Any hall. Doesn't matter.

[fortunateone 156618]

I hoped you called the sp to cancel. Not showing up when you've received all the location information, including room number, is extremely scary to many sps.

[basketballer0505 694]

I did phone her after. I recommended that she tell people the name of the gentlemen the room is under, otherwise she probably wasn't going to be able to see anyone that day!

[cinelli 22184]

Hmmm, not cool to waste her time and then blame her.

[Ice4fun 78407]

Bottom line you backed out at the last minute.... if that was me telling the lady what happened is not enough I would email transfer her the payment. why should her business suffer because I panicked and backed out.

 

Just my opinion.

[spud271 47779]

Yes it has. I just say "No, thanks, I am good" and keep walking to the room, or down the hall. Any hall. Doesn't matter.

 

I'm with you. I just normally politely thank the person at the front desk, smile and calmly say "No thank you" and just either head to the elevator or stairs. Looking nervous or jittery will always send up alarm bells to the staff. As we say in the UK, "Keep calm and carry on!". :D

[roamingguy 300292]

When you go to a hotel walk in like you belong there. It was your getting freaked out that drew attention to you. If asked anything by the front desk just say no thank you. But now as has already been suggested, pay the lady her donation via email money transfer, she didn't do anything wrong. And especially for touring ladies not only did she block off that time for you (and for the ladies time equals money) she has the additional expenses of hotel, flight, meals, and incidentals.

The only reason you didn't have your date was because you panicked. You should at least make it right

 

RG

[usernametaken 2892]

Both parties should take some blame here. The sp for not giving better info on how to meet her. You should call again and go see her, that would make it right for both sides.

[Ice4fun 78407]

Both parties should take some blame here. The sp for not giving better info on how to meet her. You should call again and go see her, that would make it right for both sides.

 

I agree that booking a new appointment would be a good idea to help move things forward but should also include some form of payment for the lost appointment.

 

In regards to the SP having some responsibility for what happened

.. i don't see that. What could she have done different?

 

Just my opinion.

[Gabriella Laurence 301887]

Both parties should take some blame here. The sp for not giving better info on how to meet her. You should call again and go see her, that would make it right for both sides.

And what other information should she have provided besides the name of the hotel and room number? The "walking into a hotel etiquette" e-book?

 

His "freaking out", talking to front desk and lying is not her fault. I don't see why she should take any responsability for something she clearly had nothing to do with in the first place.

[Studio 110 by Sophia 150333]

I never understood why Men get so freeked out? Not like your making a huge drug deal or something crazy like that. I mean you are allowed to visit who ever you like! None of their business. Who cares your going to room 114? Your allowed to have friends, and so is she..lol

 

I lost an apts few times for just this same reason and I was rather annoyed that he just couldn't say "no thanks, have good evening" As someone else has said, walk in like your just visiting a friend....which you are! Don't look around over your shoulder, fidget etc...

[ThisOneWorks 4707]

My dad always told me, walk like you know where you are going and you belong there and nobody will stop you! Don't be rude to the hotel staff, because if you WERE an actual guest you would always acknowledge them anyway. So just like the penguins in Madagascar..... "Smile and wave boys! Smile and wave!"

 

P.S. This works "almost" anywhere you go. ie: Visiting friends in hospital outside of visiting hours, if you walk in like you belong AND you look like you know where you are going, they will look at you, and you keep walking and they will leave you alone.

[roamingguy 300292]

The lady asking "How can I help you?" was merely a customer service question. That's all

It wasn't the opening line in a police interrogation.

Had you just said "I'm good" and walked on like you belonged there, this wouldn't have happened

Do you know how many people walk by that front desk each and every day. Giving a false name and wrong room number brought attention to you, how that can even be considered remotely the lady's fault escapes me

There was another thread just on following instructions, I'll copy/paste it here. Worth a read

http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=78942&highlight=instructions

As for rebooking with the lady, you indicated she tours, so it may be awhile before she comes back to Winnipeg, and she may want a cancellation fee before she considers booking another encounter

 

RG

[basketballer0505 694]

I didn't quite expect to get demolished on this thread, and I hate to have to sit and defend myself, but I think a few clarifications may help out a bit?

 

I walked in to the small hotel, with a small lobby, with the front desk directly in front of the entrance.

 

Lady: "Hi, can I help you?"

 

Me: "Oh no, I'm just heading up."

It's not like I just walked in sweating, nervous, fidgety.

 

Lady: "And what room are you visiting?"

So at this point I think I could try using the girl's name, her room number, but the name I had was not her real name, and thusly the hotel room wouldn't be booked under it. So I used a different name and room, one reason being so that I wouldn't point out the room that other people may be going up to later in the day should the same situation arise.

 

Me: "Oh, I'll give my friend a call and see what the confusion is."

 

So I walked out, while phoning the SP. Told her what happened, that I didn't feel comfortable going back in, which she understood. Mentioned that she should tell future visitors the name of the person the room is under, and it was under a guy's name.

 

Some in this thread jumped to the conclusion that I'm blaming the SP for this. Absolutely not. I am at fault in a way, as it could have possibly been handled a different way, though I can't see that scenario panning out that well. But it certainly isn't her fault that the hotel had an overzealous, inquisitive person at the front desk.

 

Anyways, I'm already dubbed guilty by the court of CERB, so I don't expect that to change, but hopefully I could clarify at least a few things.

[Studio 110 by Sophia 150333]

I didn't quite expect to get demolished on this thread, and I hate to have to sit and defend myself, but I think a few clarifications may help out a bit?

 

I walked in to the small hotel, with a small lobby, with the front desk directly in front of the entrance.

 

Lady: "Hi, can I help you?"

 

Me: "Oh no, I'm just heading up."

It's not like I just walked in sweating, nervous, fidgety.

 

Lady: "And what room are you visiting?"

So at this point I think I could try using the girl's name, her room number, but the name I had was not her real name, and thusly the hotel room wouldn't be booked under it. So I used a different name and room, one reason being so that I wouldn't point out the room that other people may be going up to later in the day should the same situation arise.

 

Me: "Oh, I'll give my friend a call and see what the confusion is."

 

So I walked out, while phoning the SP. Told her what happened, that I didn't feel comfortable going back in, which she understood. Mentioned that she should tell future visitors the name of the person the room is under, and it was under a guy's name.

 

Some in this thread jumped to the conclusion that I'm blaming the SP for this. Absolutely not. I am at fault in a way, as it could have possibly been handled a different way, though I can't see that scenario panning out that well. But it certainly isn't her fault that the hotel had an overzealous, inquisitive person at the front desk.

 

Anyways, I'm already dubbed guilty by the court of CERB, so I don't expect that to change, but hopefully I could clarify at least a few things.

 

If I was that SP, I would complain about that! She could easily be dating from a website and gave her date a fake name for the first meeting, or any number of reasons why. Maybe you 2 met at lunch, and now your here to bring her for dinner but do not know her name... maybe it is a friend of a friend and you have not yet met?

I would tell the hotel, that this is my rented space for my duration and you no right interrogating people in the way they did.

I would also suggest to the hotel if they had such a problem with " bad visitors" then perhaps they should install a key card type of entrance to get to the rooms ( such as Delta Saint John NB ).

Sorry you felt slammed on this thread. Now that you clearly posted the scenario, I can see why you did not want to enter again. And know we know that you did contact her again after said situation.

[Ice4fun 78407]

I didn't quite expect to get demolished on this thread, and I hate to have to sit and defend myself, but I think a few clarifications may help out a bit?

 

I walked in to the small hotel, with a small lobby, with the front desk directly in front of the entrance.

 

Lady: "Hi, can I help you?"

 

Me: "Oh no, I'm just heading up."

It's not like I just walked in sweating, nervous, fidgety.

 

Lady: "And what room are you visiting?"

So at this point I think I could try using the girl's name, her room number, but the name I had was not her real name, and thusly the hotel room wouldn't be booked under it. So I used a different name and room, one reason being so that I wouldn't point out the room that other people may be going up to later in the day should the same situation arise.

 

Me: "Oh, I'll give my friend a call and see what the confusion is."

 

So I walked out, while phoning the SP. Told her what happened, that I didn't feel comfortable going back in, which she understood. Mentioned that she should tell future visitors the name of the person the room is under, and it was under a guy's name.

 

Some in this thread jumped to the conclusion that I'm blaming the SP for this. Absolutely not. I am at fault in a way, as it could have possibly been handled a different way, though I can't see that scenario panning out that well. But it certainly isn't her fault that the hotel had an overzealous, inquisitive person at the front desk.

 

Anyways, I'm already dubbed guilty by the court of CERB, so I don't expect that to change, but hopefully I could clarify at least a few things.

 

Sorry if you feel that you are being picked on or blamed.... you outlined a scenario in your post and ask for comments that's what we are doing.

 

Unfortunately a few thing came together to have an appointment fall apart... some suggestions have been made about how you could have handled it differently.... all good conversations for you and the rest of us in case we fine ourselves in a similar situation.

 

I don't think anyone here is suggesting that you are somehow a bad guy...you were open and honest with the SP the rest of this is just healthy discussion and people giving their opinion on what they would do. If you and the SP are square... this is all academic and certainly not personal.

 

Here's hoping that your next booking goes way more smoothly because there is nothing worse than missing some time with a great lady from CERB.

 

Just my opinion.

[basketballer0505 694]

Thanks for replying! I don't blame anybody for their opinions, nor am I upset about them. I agree, it is all good for discussion as it is a situation that could come up for others as well as myself.

[mrgreen760 37785]

I shy away from Hotel visits by and large for a variety of reasons. One is that I know a lot of people in this smallish city so run ins are quite possible and the other is it always felt like too much of a cliche for me.

 

Peace

MG

[piano8950 32577]

Bit surprised with the blame game going on in this thread. The OP never blamed the SP, was caught of guard (who here hasn't reacted less than optimally in a situation they weren't prepared for?), and just shared a general story.

[roamingguy 300292]

Actually you are correct, the OP didn't blame the SP. This post laid some blame on the SP however, and I believe that is where the replies in regards to blaming her came

 

Both parties should take some blame here. The sp for not giving better info on how to meet her. You should call again and go see her, that would make it right for both sides.

 

And given the revised version of events, I would suggest that the manager of the hotel be contacted and a complaint lodged against that lady working the front desk. It now sounds like she is trying to scare visitors away. Frankly if it was me and I was asked what room and who I was seeing I would have told her to go rub salt...it's none of her business. Hotels aren't supposed to keep track of the comings and goings of hotel visitors and guests

I'm sure what she allegedly did violates their privacy policy.

A rambling

 

RG

[dread pirate roberts 4036]

I'm not suggesting blame on anyone's part, but there is a potentially useful object lesson here for everyone who is booking a hotel and has a rendezvous in mind. It's hard to deny, I think, that some hotels are easier than others to walk into unnoticed, and it would make sense to book at one where this is easy.

 

I recently stayed at a hotel while on a trip, and had at least contemplated inviting a local SP to visit me. It turned out, though, that my hotel had what amounted to an airlock - an inner set of automatic doors which would not open until the outer ones had shut, leaving anyone entering standing there for about ten seconds. It also had a very small lobby with the elevators located behind the reception desk. The reception staff - who couldn't help but see the people waiting in the airlock fifteen feet away - engaged in some way with everyone who came in, it seemed, making a discreet and anonymous entry essentially impossible. Had I known the physical layout in advance, I would certainly have booked at one of the many hotels into which it is easy to walk in unobserved.

 

Actually, I think it would be a service to all (and especially to SPs) to engage in discussion (in the abstract only) about which hotels in any given locale do or do not lend themselves to anonymity. That would be unwise in cities so small that it amounts to saying "here is the only hotel SPs should stay at", but barring that unusual situation it would be a valuable resource.

[Andee 220524]

Without casting blame on anyone, the smaller the hotel, the more likely you will be questioned as to where you are going. For example a small boutique hotel with 10-20 rooms would not be a good place to host out of as the staff would pretty much recognize everyone who's staying there.

 

Yes, we are allowed visitors, but since we are not likely to want to give the client our real name, that wouldn't work either. And even if we did, multiple guests a day might raise some red flags for management. Discretion is key.

 

Always best to stay in a larger hotel where it's more common that people are coming and going all the time.

 

Just saying...

[piano8950 32577]

Actually you are correct, the OP didn't blame the SP. This post laid some blame on the SP however, and I believe that is where the replies in regards to blaming her came

 

Both parties should take some blame here. The sp for not giving better info on how to meet her. You should call again and go see her, that would make it right for both sides.

 

 

Prior to that comment, people had already started

 

 

Hmmm, not cool to waste her time and then blame her.

 

Bottom line you backed out at the last minute

 

The only reason you didn't have your date was because you panicked. You should at least make it right

 

 

Without knowing everything that the OP did, without finding out if he tried to make amends, this thread just went down a bad path.

[usernametaken 2892]

either way ...this was a great post!

now we can all relax and get back to our hobbies!