What's it like with a TS

[punkindrublic86 251]

I recently met a TS on tinder. She asked if I was open minded, and I am, but I don't have much experience with this sort of thing. She's good looking ( her pics at least) and seems nice. My question is what can I expect from an encounter with her? If I'm straight and attracted to women is this relationship worth pursuing? I won't know for sure until I meet her, but I don't want to come across as completely ignorant.

[Guest]

I also have a fantasy of being with a ts. There's something so HOT about being with a ts to me. I'd say get out of your head and give it a try. Life is about experimenting, trying new things, and having fun. You don't have to do it again if you don't like it.

[Guest **sh****he***ac***th]

I agree with Peachy. Give it a shot (pardon the pun) and see how it goes. Even better invite Peachy as well...now that would be a pretty awesome experience in my opinion! :)

[antlerman 17064]

Man.....it is a great ride.....and i mean that!

I have met a few in my days and Lucy Bisset is one if the top ladies in the business.

Go for it......you only live once

Posted via Mobile Device

[CristyCurves 169032]

I have never been with a Ts or a woman so personal experience I don't have but an opinion I do:) I say- they are just another provider, and by their looks most of them are as sexy as can be so if there is an attraction between you and her go for it, put your inhibitions aside and just have fun. They are like anyone and want respect, cleanliness, well mannered people to contact them and to interact with. Straight or not I don't think that matters or should be a concern, what matters is you like this person as is and the attraction means you are simply attracted to that person:)

[Ice4fun 78407]

I agree.... why sit back when you are old wondering what it would gave been like... if it interests you give it a try... if you like it keep doing it if not stop. lolol...

 

There is no harm in trying.

[Guest *l**e]

I've massaged several ts ladies, and to me they are just another lady. They happen to have a slight physical difference.

I say why not meet her...it doesn't mean you have marry her...it's just a meeting like with any other woman. Worst case scenario, you two are not a match and you've met a new and interesting person.

 

Good luck.

[bcguy42 38594]

I recently met a TS on tinder. She asked if I was open minded, and I am, but I don't have much experience with this sort of thing. She's good looking ( her pics at least) and seems nice. My question is what can I expect from an encounter with her? If I'm straight and attracted to women is this relationship worth pursuing? I won't know for sure until I meet her, but I don't want to come across as completely ignorant.

 

Let's work backwards with what you wrote. You don't want to come across as completely ignorant. Treat her with the grace and respect you would any other woman and you're good there.

 

Is the relationship worth pursuing? Like you said, you won't know for sure until you meet her so let's put that question on par with your chances when you meet anyone new to you.

 

You're straight and attracted to women. Well, to put it delicately, work with what you know. And you already know what to do with a lot of her. And a lot of the experience will be just like being with another woman.

 

Okay, enough with dancing around the elephant in the discussion. Yup, she comes with a difference (no pun intended). You can, within reason, make of that difference what you will. You may go into the evening thinking you won't really be up for dealing too much with that. As things progress, things will get hard. I mean, you might find it hard not to play there a little bit. Or a lotta bit. In my experience no woman is going to force you out of your comfort level. And in my experience, I've found the boundaries of my comfort level in this situation greatly expand as the evening progresses.

 

All of which is a long way of saying this. You have an interest in this as demonstrated by you posing the question. Explore that interest. You might find that you actually don't have an interest worth pursuing. You might have an excellent mind blowing experience that you will thank yourself for in the morning.

 

But most of all, you will have the satisfaction of knowing you gave it a try. There are no points awarded for that which you meant to do but never did.

 

Good luck and enjoy!

[Regent 35404]

Since you mention pursuing a relationship, it sounds like you are interested in maybe dating this woman, and that she's not a sex worker (or at least you're not meeting her as a sex worker, and maybe you don't know what she does for a living)?

 

So, my comments are based on that assumption - my apologies if it's incorrect, though this should be mostly relevant either way.

 

My question is what can I expect from an encounter with her?

 

First, I think it's really important to remember that trans women are women. They may have different bits than you're used to on women, but that doesn't make them any less real women.

 

Like having sex with cis women (cis means not trans), sex with trans women is going to be a unique encounter each time - sex is a dynamic that's created by two people together. It's okay to feel unsure - the important thing is to communicate a lot. Ask her how she likes to be touched and what language she likes when talking about her body.

 

Some trans people have a lot of dysphoria that can be triggered by certain words or being touched in certain ways, so just use your words.

 

If she has a penis, it may or may not get hard. A lot of trans women who have been on estrogen for a while don't get erections any more, without the aid of Viagra or other meds. She also may or may not ejaculate still.

 

She may be a top or a bottom or versatile - definitely something to talk about. Roles may not be quite as easy to assume as they would be with a cis woman.

 

A lot of straight sex between two cis people often defaults to penis in vagina sex without a lot of discussion. You should expect to talk a little bit more about what kinds of sex you two will have, and maybe you'll need to have a broader idea of what counts as sex, beyond putting your cock in a hole (or maybe you won't.)

 

I think it's also really important to think about the experiences trans women have. Like all women, there's a real risk of violence at the hands of men, but in addition to male violence against women, they also have to content with transphobic violence. Recognize that she's taking a big risk with her safety by meeting a stranger off the internet, honour any safety measures she decides to take and be extremely respectful of her boundaries. Trans women are murdered all the time simply because people are uncomfortable with their attraction to them or because people can't see them as human beings.

 

Call her by the name she gives you and use the pronouns she uses for herself (most likely she & her).

 

I'd recommend reading this guide and checking out some other resources, so that when you meet, you can just focus on being your best self: http://www.autostraddle.com/getting-with-girls-like-us-a-radical-guide-to-dating-trans-women-for-cis-women-160269/

 

Be awesome, be kind and be okay with not knowing everything (but be willing to listen and learn!)

 

If I'm straight and attracted to women is this relationship worth pursuing?

 

Absolutely. Trans women are women, and no matter what she has between her legs now, or in the future, doesn't change that. Dating or having sex with a trans person doesn't change your sexual orientation in any way - if you're a straight guy who's attracted to women, and you find a trans woman hot, well hey, you just met another woman that you find attractive. :)

[WriteOn 3250]

To each their own, it's not for me. As far as what to expect you might try doing some searches for reviews on TS's.

 

Obviously you've shown interest in an encounter so I think you should pursue it.

[Guest Miss Jane TG]

What Ms. Regent wrote is a guide and I can't possibly have any further comment!

[roamingguy 300292]

First apologies ahead of time if any part of this post is worded incorrectly.

Absolutely no offence intended, my questions are intended for my education and enlightenment and CERB being the board and community it is, this is the place to learn about it.

First, am I correct that the difference between a TG (transgendered) and a TS (transsexual) is that a TG is a male anatomically but has the mannerisms (ie dresses like a female etc) of a female. But a TS has had sex re-assignment surgery and is for all intent purposes (anatomically, mannerisms etc a female)

Second, no matter whether a TG or TS, the appropriate term to address them is "she"

Third, and this I really do not know. If a male (who is female on the inside) has sex reassignment surgery and becomes a TS, and he becomes a she (sorry if poorly worded) both inside and out, is the surgery so complete (again sorry for poorly wording this) that you could not tell the difference from looking, anatomically between a TS and someone born as a woman?

And if there is no external difference between a TS and a someone born as a female, how would someone even know if they have ever even been with a naturally born female versus a TS in their life?

And again, apologies if any questions seem worded incorrectly or inappropriate. But this is a new area and if I knew exactly the appropriate way to phrase the questions I would already have the answers

Not a rambling this time, but questions from someone wanting to learn and be enlightened.

 

RG

[Regent 35404]

First, am I correct that the difference between a TG (transgendered) and a TS (transsexual) is that a TG is a male anatomically but has the mannerisms (ie dresses like a female etc) of a female. But a TS has had sex re-assignment surgery and is for all intent purposes (anatomically, mannerisms etc a female)

 

Eh, depends on who you ask. Some people use transgender and transsexual interchangably. Others see a conceptual difference, though may not all agree on that difference. In my experience, there's often a generational gap in how the language gets used, with older trans people identifying as transsexual and younger trans people identifying more as transgender, regardless of surgical status. People who are not interested in surgery or hormones or who identify outside the gender binary (something other than a man or a woman) often prefer transgender over transsexual.

 

Language is a complicated and nuanced topic that's always under debate and shifting within trans communities. I would always say, don't make any assumptions about a person's body or surgeries based on how their identify, and always respect a person's self identity.

 

Second, no matter whether a TG or TS, the appropriate term to address them is "she"

 

Best is to ask what pronouns are appropriate to use with a person, but as a general rule, you should never call a trans woman "he" or "it", and if you're not able to ask, "she" is probably the most respectful assumption to make.

 

Third, and this I really do not know. If a male (who is female on the inside) has sex reassignment surgery and becomes a TS, and he becomes a she (sorry if poorly worded) both inside and out, is the surgery so complete (again sorry for poorly wording this) that you could not tell the difference from looking, anatomically between a TS and someone born as a woman?

 

This depends on so many different factors, such as your perceptiveness, what type of surgery she's had, how her healing process went, what you might believe is the normal range of variation for vulvas...

 

Surgical techniques for constructing a vagina and vulva are very, very good these days. Often you would never be able to tell that there had been any surgery.

 

And if there is no external difference between a TS and a someone born as a female, how would someone even know if they have ever even been with a naturally born female versus a TS in their life?

 

You really can't know, unless the people you've been with have told you.

 

A lot of people have an idea in their head of what a trans person looks like, but like with cis people, trans people run the gamut from very feminine to very masculine, and aligning very closely or not at all with mainstream standards of beauty. I know trans women who look like magazine models and I know cis women who naturally grow beards.

 

We get a lot of narrow messages about what makes a person a woman or a man, but in reality, we are all so diverse that there is no one set of defining features that can externally define a person.

 

(Cis just means not trans. So if when you were born they said, "It's a boy!" and you now identify as a man, you're cis. Same deal for baby girls who are now women. It's more respectful to say cis than natural born or real. :))

[Guest **sh****he***ac***th]

This is an extremely informative thread and I thank Regent in particular for her insight and thoughts on the matter. I have never had the occasion to have been with a TS lady however I would treat her as I would any other lady with the dignity and respect she deserves. To me life is to be lived and to be experienced.

[emiafish 30979]

I have had the pleasure of the company of several TS providers. I can say with assurance that each and every one was feminine inside and out. Yes, there are some physical differences and yes those differences vary from person to person. I also find women attractive. In fact, I consider myself pan-sexual with a strong preference for women.

 

If the OP's intention is to pursue a strictly sexual relationship, then by (bi) all means indulge. We live in incredible times. Twenty or thirty years ago, it would have been difficult or impossible to live out a TS fantasy. Today, opportunities abound and with sites like Cerb, research is possible.

 

If the intent is to follow a personal and emotional relationship, then do so with your eyes wide open. As previous posters have said, TS/TG face numerous daily challenges ranging from prejudice to health issues. It is important to both parties if you enter into an emotional relationship, you do so with honest intent. TS/TG members of our society deserve no less respect and care as any other member.

[Tia Phoenixx 340]

I have had the pleasure of the company of several TS providers. I can say with assurance that each and every one was feminine inside and out. Yes, there are some physical differences and yes those differences vary from person to person. I also find women attractive. In fact, I consider myself pan-sexual with a strong preference for women.

 

If the OP's intention is to pursue a strictly sexual relationship, then by (bi) all means indulge. We live in incredible times. Twenty or thirty years ago, it would have been difficult or impossible to live out a TS fantasy. Today, opportunities abound and with sites like Cerb, research is possible.

 

If the intent is to follow a personal and emotional relationship, then do so with your eyes wide open. As previous posters have said, TS/TG face numerous daily challenges ranging from prejudice to health issues. It is important to both parties if you enter into an emotional relationship, you do so with honest intent. TS/TG members of our society deserve no less respect and care as any other member.

 

 

sounds great:)

[oldblueeyez 15475]

I'm thinking you'll get great hed and then you crack open beers afterward and shoot the shit about deer hunting?