Support

[CristyCurves 169032]

Quote-The term support means different things to people at different times. It is not a one size fits all experience. Often a descriptive adjective preceding the word support is required, e.g., emotional support, financial support, physical support, psychological support.-unquote

But lets speak to it as it as it relates to this thread and this online community:)Lets assume if you are a supportive member that you'd then give encouragement to all members, offer helpful advice, want to see them gain clients, friends or both, want them to succeed, have fun, have positive experiences, be productive and learn and if need be you'd correct them but in a positive and non-condescending manner, you'd want them to gain knowledge and experience not be embarrassed or to look silly.

Many here have formed bonded friendships outside of this forum, beyond their business or hobby life, they are true friends. Many here only know others from their online voices and personas. Are you supportive to both?

Do you thank and nominate threads and posts because of their authors, because of your relationship with the author, because they have said something to which you agree, because you feel they added value to this community, because you want to favor someone or do you avoid some altogether?

Lets face it it's never easy to agree with someone you may not favor but as Voltaire said I may not agree with your word but I won't disagree with your right to say it, or something like that;)

I guess my point is if someone is a supportive member that shouldn't start or end with who you like or dislike, if being supportive means you want a member(sp or hobbyist):) to flourish:)

[Miss S. Lane 67128]

I'm not entirely sure I understand the point of this thread - so instead of assuming I'm going to ask for clarification... Are you suggesting that there are members of this board, primarily women (given what you've written here) that only "thank" or "nominate" their friends posts, and not just anyones?

 

Please clear that up for me, as I am unsure of your meaning :)

[CristyCurves 169032]

I'm not entirely sure I understand the point of this thread - so instead of assuming I'm going to ask for clarification... Are you suggesting that there are members of this board, primarily women (given what you've written here) that only "thank" or "nominate" their friends posts, and not just anyones?

 

Please clear that up for me, as I am unsure of your meaning :)

Sorry:) I thought the thread was clear, perhaps I'm not great at expressing myself at times. However it's point is no other than to ask questions about a topic of choice, and like the other 2500 or so threads and posts I've made, it's simply another topic, within another day, this one about support, no need to analyze it or read anything more into it other than what's asked:) Which is how you vote on threads, why and if you think you are a supportive member pertaining to the meaning of being supportive as used in the thread. I included sp's and hobbyists so I'm not sure why you'd think I was speaking to "primarily" sp's? I did edit the thread to put sp's and hobbyists in brackets, but before doing so I did include the mention of within the sp and hobby life, the term member(which I assumed most would realize ) includes both sp's and hobbyists, sorry if that wasn't clear.

[Miss S. Lane 67128]

Um... Like I said, I didn't want to assume to understand your intentions so I asked. Your explanation has come across that you've written lots of threads and posts and are trying to figure out what makes people click thank or nominate a post, and if they don't because they don't like the OP.

 

I will speak only for myself - I am an adult, who has no time for drama or childish behavior. Therefore I don't have the time to had select which threads or posts I'm going to thank or nominate based on a like it dislike system. If it resonates with me and who I am, then I thank it. If it's considerate and touching, then I thank it. If it really touches me deeply, or makes so much sense to me it's awe inspiring, then I nominate it. And when the mood strikes I respond. Or start my own thread.

 

I am still not clear what thanking posts and nominating posts has to do with supporting others within this industry. Yes, there are those who have formed bonded friendships. But that's not the point. I, for example, am a person who truly believes we get what we give. I believe in mutual respect and acceptance, regardless of differences. The golden rule: Do unto others...

 

I have dignity and confidence in who I am. I encourage safe experiences equally among the sex workers I am associated with. I make recommendations to valued clients so they may have safe, pleasurable experiences too. I don't waste my time or energy on competition or ownership. I am me. Those who choose to see me do so at their own free will. Those who choose to associate with me (or not) do so at their own free will.

 

In short, so I support SP's and hobbiests having a safe, pleasureable and mutually beneficial time in this industry? Of course I do. Do I think it has anything to do with thanking or nominating posts, or replying to threads? Not for me it doesn't!

[roamingguy 300292]

Speaking for me, I support this board, this community, and consequently it's members (I hope) by my posts, and also by the use of "Thanks" "Comments/Rep Points" and/or "Nominate Post"

I don't use any of these, including my own posts for any hidden agenda. My posts are my own opinions. And the use of "Thanks" "Comments/Rep Points" and /or Nominations, I use if someone's posts rubs me the right way (guess a bad way of putting it on a board like this LOL)

But whether issued or not, they have nothing to do with like/dislike of a person. And I have been generous with a few people some days (they all rubbed me the right way LOL) that I had no more love to hand out, not for 24 hours at least

Also, general comment, don't worry too much about "Thanks", "Rep Ponts" "Nominations". I've sometimes written what I think (my thinking may be wayyy off btw) a Pulitzer Prize winning post, and yet nothing...then a two line off the cuff comment, and lots of thanks.

All I'm saying, don't read too much into "Thanks" "Rep Points" and or "Nominations"...I appreciate them when given but it isn't my reason for posting nor do I read any hidden meaning in not getting them

And I give them when I think due, to another CERB member. BTW sometimes quoting and getting a agreeing post is another way to be acknowledged, and sometimes PM's and Visitor Messages too

 

Anyhow, a rambling

 

RG

[CristyCurves 169032]

Um... Like I said, I didn't want to assume to understand your intentions so I asked. Your explanation has come across that you've written lots of threads and posts and are trying to figure out what makes people click thank or nominate a post, and if they don't because they don't like the OP.

I have written lots of threads and posts, if you consider 2500+ lots but as far as coming across as I'm trying to figure anything out, no, lol, I got no time for that!, lol:) Just thought it might be something to ask, question, sorry you seem to be off put by it:( New topics don't get posted that often and since I'm not as brilliant;) as some perhaps my choices of threads aren't always the best or to everyone's taste. Since I've been studying psychology(yup I'm taking courses:)) What ever makes people tick, think about and do and why is of interest to me lately. But I wouldn't think to assume just because someone doesn't thank or nominate that it would mean they liked or disliked the op, perhaps you've enlightened me:)

I will speak only for myself - I am an adult, who has no time for drama or childish behavior

Therefore I don't have the time to had select which threads or posts I'm going to thank or nominate based on a like it dislike system.

So if some do should I assume you think of them as childish and dramatic?

If it resonates with me and who I am, then I thank it. If it's considerate and touching, then I thank it. If it really touches me deeply, or makes so much sense to me it's awe inspiring, then I nominate it. And when the mood strikes I respond. Or start my own thread.

Ahh, interesting:)

 

 

I am still not clear what thanking posts and nominating posts has to do with supporting others within this industry.

I addressed this to this specific online community, not industry as a whole:) concerning posts and threads. So as far as the industry as a whole it has nothing to do with, however if someone is supportive to all here then I could assume they would be outside of here as well, therefore there is a connection.

Yes, there are those who have formed bonded friendships. But that's not the point. I, for example, am a person who truly believes we get what we give. I believe in mutual respect and acceptance, regardless of differences. The golden rule: Do unto others...

I as well and I also believe some give back exactly what they've been given .After reading this I could assume that there could be other intent behind some when they thank or nominate, intent other than being supportive that is, if some are giving because they've gotten:)

 

I have dignity and confidence in who I am. I encourage safe experiences equally among the sex workers I am associated with. I make recommendations to valued clients so they may have safe, pleasurable experiences too. I don't waste my time or energy on competition or ownership. I am me. Those who choose to see me do so at their own free will. Those who choose to associate with me (or not) do so at their own free will.

That's honorable and I follow the same :)

In short, so I support SP's and hobbiests having a safe, pleasureable and mutually beneficial time in this industry? Of course I do. Do I think it has anything to do with thanking or nominating posts, or replying to threads?

 

It may:) Because being supportive and unbiased in one way maybe reflective of how someone will be in other aspects of this business and lifestyle or life in general.

[Guest K***e D****ls]

I think if hypothetically someone is keeping track of who thanked/nominated/whatever'ed them, they have the luxury of too much time on their hands! haha

 

I do agree completely with Savannah about how if something resonates with me, I'll thank/like/respond. I think for most people here, it really is as simple as that.

[mrgreen760 37785]

Considering I've only thanked once for a post and that was a slip of my finger clearly I don't take this thanks, post nomination and post count stuff very seriously.

 

Seems to be important to some though so..... carry on.

 

Peace

MG

[Guest N***he**Ont**y]

If the post makes me think about he subject matter even if I disagree with it I will use the Thanks Button. If the post opens up some new dialogue within the thread I will nominate it . I am very conservative using the Nomination Button . If the post makes the Thread interesting to me and is worthwhile I will use the Nominate Button.

[MightyPen 67414]

Do you thank and nominate threads and posts because of their authors, because of your relationship with the author, because they have said something to which you agree, because you feel they added value to this community, because you want to favor someone or do you avoid some altogether?

...

 

I guess my point is if someone is a supportive member that shouldn't start or end with who you like or dislike, if being supportive means you want a member(sp or hobbyist):) to flourish:)

 

From bottom to top:

 

- It's definitely true that being part of a supportive community means not just hanging out in a corner with your best buddies, but moving through the room and listening to everyone's voice.

 

Folks who are insecure in any community tend to build a fortress of allies, hide behind the walls of their clique, and from there hurl little barbed arrows of disdain and insult. That can be reassuring if you need it, but doesn't make a better community and wastes all of the potential to be found in diversity.

 

It's easy to find reasons to dislike others. It's more work to find the reasons to like other people, especially people who aren't your usual crowd. But it's one of the ways we grow, and helps keep a community strong and healthy.

 

- I use Thanks to acknowledge things that make me smile or laugh, or that say something I already feel. I Nominate posts that make me stop and think, teach me something, or do an especially good job expressing a view that I share.

 

In all cases I click the button primarily for the content and not the author. But it's also true that I'm well-disposed to some familiar faces here on CERB, and that may sometimes tip the balance. But it's never the whole reason.

[Miss Jessica Lee 43328]

I'm going to be blunt. My apologies in advance if I offend anyone, that isn't my intention.

 

I thank those I agree with. I don't thank those I don't agree with. I nominate those I agree very strongly with and those that make a point so damn fine.

 

That's a pretty simple way of putting it.

 

I think, with all due respect, the OP needs to understand that in life..... shit happens, and people you thought would support you through thick and thin sometimes let you down.

 

That's because they don't feel the same way as you. That's because they are as unique as you.

 

It's very rare to have everyone in any given community agree with you or support you all the time. Learning this is a part of growing up.

[CristyCurves 169032]

I'm going to be blunt. My apologies in advance if I offend anyone, that isn't my intention.

 

I thank those I agree with. I don't thank those I don't agree with. I nominate those I agree very strongly with and those that make a point so damn fine.

 

That's a pretty simple way of putting it.

 

I think, with all due respect, the OP needs to understand that in life..... shit happens, and people you thought would support you through thick and thin sometimes let you down.

 

That's because they don't feel the same way as you. That's because they are as unique as you.

 

It's very rare to have everyone in any given community agree with you or support you all the time. Learning this is a part of growing up.

I like bluntness:) but is this post sarcasm;) and does anyone include me, lol? With all due respect to you ;) I find it funny when I make a post or a thread some read into it an agenda, or make more of it than it is, such as you have done. I'm being blunt as well, with all due respect:) When the opposite happens I'm told I misinterpret, that the post or thread is subjective that I'm reading it wrong!

This op doesn't need to understand anything, I can read and can get "it" and this op has known shit happens since I could shit:) With all due respect and thank you but I don't need you to inculcate anything in, to me or for me:) and I think it rather rude of you to think you should. But if it's made you feel better....:)

Lastly Perhaps you are confused, as I'm not sure why you'd think I would want everyone to agree with me. My apologies to those I've offended for my usage of emoticons;)

[Kimberly-Shea 28280]

I like bluntness:) but is this post sarcasm;) With all due respect to you ;) I find it funny when I make a post or a thread some read into it an agenda, or make more of it than it is, such as you have done. I'm being blunt as well, with all due respect:) When the opposite happens I'm told I misinterpret, that the post or thread is subjective that I'm reading it wrong!

This op doesn't need to understand anything, I can read and can get "it" and this op has known shit happens since I could shit:) With all due respect, I don't need you to inculcate anything in, to me or for me:) and I think it rather rude of you to think you should. But if it's made you feel better....

Perhaps you are confused, as I'm not sure why you'd think I would want everyone to agree with me.

 

You've lost me, I have no idea what this post even means? The above is needlessly rude. imo

 

Starting a thread doesn't allow you dictate who can post or what opinion they may have. You asked a question but whenever given an answer you don't agree with you attack the post/er. When you repeatedly post passive aggressively about what you perceive "others" are doing wrong, eventually someone will point out it's best to worry about your own posts/business rather than harp on what everyone else is up to. kwim?

 

As evidenced by a few of your recent threads, if you seek out drama you will find it.

 

Kim

[CristyCurves 169032]

You've lost me, I have no idea what this post even means? Needlessly rude. imo

 

Kim

If you don't understand it or get what it means how could you find it rude or defensive?

[Kimberly-Shea 28280]

If you don't understand it or get what it means how could you find it rude or defensive?

 

Rude is very easy to decipher. The post itself however, is completely unintelligible. :icon_wink: I assumed you were drunk. (I still kinda do.) :icon_wink: :icon_wink: :icon_wink:

 

Clearly you don't want to discuss anything, you wanted to make a speech. So, job done.

 

Goodnight Christy,

Kim

 

EDIT:

 

(To the topic at hand, I "thank" posts I find funny, bright, helpful or interesting. Who the poster is has no bearing on it.)

[CristyCurves 169032]

You've lost me, I have no idea what this post even means? The above is needlessly rude. imo

 

Starting a thread doesn't allow you dictate who can post or what opinion they may have. You asked a question but whenever given an answer you don't agree with you attack the post/er. When you repeatedly post passive aggressively about what you perceive "others" are doing wrong, eventually someone will point out it's best to worry about your own posts/business rather than harp on what everyone else is up to. kwim?

 

As evidenced by a few of your recent threads, If you seek out drama you will find it.

 

Kim

Is this post needlessly rude? Seeking drama? If you don't like how I post or what my threads say then why are you responding and reading them?

I haven't attacked anyone, nor do I perceive anything. My posts and threads are my thoughts and opinions just like yours, I don't control, or insinuate control towards anyone. However what I or anyone says is subject to interpretation:) and if you interpret them as rude, defensive or harpy that's on you that does not mean that's how they were intended.

 

Additional Comments:

Rude is very easy to decipher. The post itself however, is completely unintelligible. :icon_wink: I assumed you were drunk. (I still kinda do.) :icon_wink: :icon_wink: :icon_wink:

 

Clearly you don't want to discuss anything, you wanted to make a speech. So, job done.

 

Goodnight Christy,

Kim

 

EDIT:

 

(To the topic at hand, I "thank" posts I find funny, bright, helpful or interesting. Who the poster is has no bearing on what posts I thank/nominate.)

 

;););) hiccup, hiccup, thank you Kim, hiccup, what did you say:)

[Guest]

As a sex worker, I think it's very important to be part of a supportive community. People who don't partake in the industry may not be so understanding or supportive of what I do; as being an escort still has a big stigma attached to it. Cerb allows me to ask questions or discuss topics, I wouldn't otherwise have a chance to. I have felt support and have given support for various reasons. However, this doesn't mean that everything will be peaches and cream all the time. Anytime one posts or puts themselves "out there" there's a chance for negativity, intentional or unintentional. We really don't have control over what people do or say, we only have control over how we act and supporting ourselves is the most important factor of the whole process. When I ask a question or read a thread I take the advice/support that makes the most sense and I leave the rest. Most of the time I feel happy from being supported or from supporting.

 

When I know someone this does help me understand where they are coming from; so it may persuade me to thank them in that aspect. However, I thank the posts I like and nominate the posts I agree with 100%.

[Katherine of Halifax 113932]

Well this thread has certainly stirred the pot. I didn't comment earlier as I was busy but lets all take a breath here.

When I first quickly read this to me it simply a question of do you thank, not thank ,or nominate a post and why do we do it?

 

I'm much the same as others that have replied if its something interesting to me, I will comment or thank. Nothing really to do with who started the thread or those involved in the discussion. We all have an opinion. I have gotten myself in hot water here a few times and have sometimes felt supported and sometimes not. We are all grown ups here, make mistakes and have to live with our words and move on.

 

Maybe its time to do that now and sleep on this!