Turn offs for a hobbyist

[Guest c**io**m7]

Good idea Danielle, let's go both ways.

 

Guys, what turns you off?

 

For me, it was...in the soft, sultry voice...

"Hi baby, what do you like"

"Hi babes"

"How are you hun?"

 

I am not sure if it the attempt at a phone sex voice or if it is what is being said.

 

Upsells: always hated them. I was more of a 'this is the rate and whatever happens, happens'. There is nothing worse than getting an incredible bbbj and being right at the edge only to have her stop and say...in that phone sex voice... "Do you wanna cum in my mouth baby? It's only $60 more."

 

Caked on make up. I love the natural beauty of a woman. A little enhancement with make up is okay but, if I could use a drywall trowel to scrape it off...it's too much.

 

Overly photo shopped pictures. Hiding identifying marks is fine but, when pictures are a C or D cup on a B cup lady, I get turned off.

 

Sitting in a hotel lobby for half an hour and receiving texts every 5 minutes saying "almost ready, 5 more minutes"

 

Constantly ringing phone and/or the TV blaring in the background.

 

These are a few...do we have others?

[Guest N***he**Ont**y]

You make arrangements for an encounter, the type of the encounter is agreed upon and then the provider wants to change the dynamics of it by adding a total stranger to the mix. Not cool!

[Guest **sh****he***ac***th]

Being called "baby" by an SP and unclean or smoke filled incall locations. I have turned around and left in such conditions and will do so without hesitation.

[Guest R**3*9]

I agree up-selling pretty much ruins any intimacy that an encounter could generate. I want the envelope to be deposited in the first minute and from then on it's just two people exploring each other. Intellectually, physically and emotionally. Cash is what brings us together but if you ask for more during a session I start the think that when you look at me all you see is an olive skinned neck with a dollar sign on top. Not sexy.

 

The same is true for e-mails and PM's. I need to know the rates upfront. But please don't bring it up again, unless something changes of course.

 

I want the women I meet to feel special. I want them to feel comfortable and I want them to know that I respect and admire them for what they do. I don't want them to feel like I see them only as a tool for my pleasure and I hope for the same in return. I don't see the ladies I've met as meat and I would hope they don't see me as a cash machine.

 

And a couple of little things,

 

PM's asking for correspondence to feel each other out that get no reply or simple "$200/hr"

 

I want a chance to get to know the women I meet to see if we are compatible. I guess it's a good screen-er for me. If you'll meet anyone with an envelope, chances are pretty good you're not the person for me.

 

Two little words that for some reason I don't enjoy, "Hun, and Darling"

 

Impersonal and superficial terms of endearment. I prefer that you just use my name. Let's me know you've noticed when I trusted you with it. Or pretty much anything else that tells me you actually distinguishes me from your other guests. Not that I'm more or less important just different. I guess this also comes back to my not wanting to feel like a body with a $ resting on it's shoulders. LOL

 

Just a few little things, all in all I have very little to complain about. :)

[mrgreen760 37785]

Too much make up, implants, dated photos, one-two word responses to emails, generic huns or babes, fly by nighters, disinterest, faking, conceit for no reason and generally poor customer service.

 

Peace

MG

[Benjistarr 109]

 

Upsells: always hated them. I was more of a 'this is the rate and whatever happens, happens'. There is nothing worse than getting an incredible bbbj and being right at the edge only to have her stop and say...in that phone sex voice... "Do you wanna cum in my mouth baby? It's only $60 more."

 

 

A couple years ago before I found CERB this would have been one of my largest pet peeves. With experience come knowledge and this is no longer an issue since I do my homework before reaching out to a new lady now.

[roamingguy 300292]

EMail (confirmation email) not returned in a timely manner. And no, I don't expect immediate replies to emails, but when it is coming down to the crunch, travel, leave, and hotel need to be confirmed, I need to get confirmation that the lady is going to show up

 

Lady shows up at your hotel, providing a less than good encounter, saying

"I gotta pay the bills hun, gotta pay the bills" Nothing like feeling like a wallet

 

Another encounter, lady once she received the donation, says "now I can buy groceries" And again, nothing like feeling like your nothing but a wallet

 

The pièce de résistance was a lady showing up, smelling of cigarette smoke, she asked to use mouthwash and all was fine...about an hour into a three hour encounter she asked if she could go out for a smoke break. Me being me, I said OK, she left with her purse, never came back...it wasn't so much losing $500.00 as it was being ripped off of an encounter

 

All that said, my encounters overall have been terrific and recommendation worthy, and I focus on those positive memories instead of these few aberrations and am thankful to those ladies who made and make this a wonderful lifestyle and experience

 

A rambling

 

RG

[NotchJohnson 214123]

Booking an hour minimum with a lady and after the quick introduction and shower and clothes removed she proceeds with a great BJ so good that I know I'm about to blow my load and ask her to slow it down a bit she agrees and 30 second later goes back at it to finish the job. When I'm done and request a shower to go for round 2 she says its only SOG. In and out in 15 minutes, paid for the full hour.

[LeeRichards 177238]

Extreme Arrogance and "Holier than thou" attitude

 

Ads that list all of these "No kissing and no DATY" It's all fine and dandy and to each his own......but for me it makes me feel like the lady isn't engaged in what she is doing nor enjoys intimacy. (strictly my opinion) I realize not every cat enjoys intimacy but I do. Also if I visited with a lady that does not enjoy or allow DATY I would probably have a nervous breakdown or start crying or something ;) hehehe

 

 

 

for the record ..... I don't mind at all being called baby or babes. I have gotten to know some ladies very well and that is just part of their personality and how they interact. It is just them :) It's cool.

[Guest S****r]

Great thread, OP! Thank you!

[Exotic Touch Danielle 31728]

I never knew that calling you 'darlin or baby bothered you lol I have a habit of calling people darlin(Arggggg) but hey it goes both ways

Glad you started this thread because now we can both try to make our experiences together a much better one by taking note of our turn offs

Xo

[WriteOn 3250]

It's already been said, but I have to repeat it, "how are you hun?". If SP's could drop the word "hun" from their vocabulary altogether the world would be a better place :)

[Winnipegcub 21293]

I have been fortunate to meet some great ladies. And also for me the 'connection' is important so if I feel we've had a good time together...I'm often a repeat customer.

 

But a couple things in my experience would fall into the 'turn off' category.

 

1. Obviously 'No Shows'. Yeh it happens to guys too. I've had it happen a couple of times. And I've always left the benefit of the doubt, provided the lady with opportunity to explain/apologize....and nothing.

 

2. 'Over the Top' It can be in talk, attitude, or looks. I know this gets to be personal choices but my preferences are just down to earth, respectful, and classy ladies. I like having real conversations. For me my dates go way better when we connect on various levels as well as physical. I've learned to look at ads better and communicate more openly with prospective dates. I remember meeting up with a lady at an agreed location (my 5 star hotel had card key) and although her ads/pics described a 'down to earth' 'classy' woman, she was wearing knee high stripper boots, a short mini skirt, and furry coat and lots of make-up. I know I could have been more specific. Walking through the lobby, past reception, concierge and the lounge was quite the scene. I'm sure some guys like this...but at least for me - just be yourselves.

 

Thanks for the chance to comment and again the majority of ladies who read this are AAA....already absolutely adorable.

 

Cub

[Ice4fun 78407]

As I read through these post I find myself agreeing with the comments but am even more struck by the fact that I have really not had many things to complain about.... my experience has been meeting great ladies who almost always go over and above in making sure I enjoy my time with them... on occasion I have been called cute names like Hun and baby and while on first impression I don't really live it... i find it really depends on how it is said .... then I also stop and think.... lol what's a lady to do... she's not coming up with cute names to piss us off but to try and make us feel special so it really never bothers me any more. I gave virtually no experience with no shows so that has not been a problem.

 

The only real time I was upset was a time when a lady I only met once broke confidentially and discussed that I had seen her with another SP in my home area. I don't really care if the other lady knew who I had seen it was simply the fact that it was done intentionally to cause some drama. Never have or will see the lady again.

 

I actually have been impressed by this industry... i gave mire problems with my bank and phone company than I do with ladies in this industry. Says something about the character of the ladies I have met. Thank You.

 

Just my opinion

[peacectryguy 12547]

Pretty much all of the above but mostly faking. I don't want some generic, "oh baby, oh baby, oh god" fake orgasm crap. I would honestly prefer the lady say, "that isn't doing it for me hon, let's try this or that". And if nothing works, so be it. At least I know what not to do or what needs working on and don't go through life thinking I'm good when I'm not. Any lady I've been with, I have expressed my need for that honesty up front.

The other thing is this. Enjoy what you are doing or get out of the biz, imo. When you hate your job, it comes out of you in waves for everyone to see and feel.

[Maddy 270]

It is so great to have feedback from gentlemen as to their specific turnoffs, vs having the women do all the talking or (complaining). When a man takes the time to give honest feedback it can only result in a more positive experience for client and provider and enhance the experience for both. Sometimes we forget it is about the pleasure and not about the money, and if money is the only objective it is in fact an insult to the gentleman who prides himself on pleasuring his partner, paid for or not! Good on you sirs!!

[Luckyme 41401]

I have not had many unpleasant encounters with ladies on cerb. That being said, a real turn off for me will be hygiene. In my many years of hobbying, I have had only two or three encounters which were a turn off in term of body-odor. But to me, it is one too many.

 

Smelling of cigarette smoke or breath is another major turn off for me. Unfortunately, this occurs a lot more frequently than I wish.

 

For the record (borrowing from Lee), I also don't mind at all been addressed as hun, sweetheart, sweetie, darling, babe ... they're all good.

[roamingguy 300292]

In fairness, this really is in most cases a turn off for both ladies and gentlemen alike. And that is blocked profiles on CERB.

I'm sure red flags are raised when a lady sees a male CERB member who has a blocked profile

Likewise, although not red flags, on the few times I have seen a lady's photo and go to check her profile to find it blocked...well I personally can't be bothered to try to find out anything more about her or contact her

CERB is supposed to be a relative open forum for potential clients to meet professional companions with the benefit of using anonymous board handles. When ladies and gentlemen alike even with the anonymity of this board hide by blocking their profiles, it must raise warning flags to the ladies, and at least for me, well I can't be bothered to even go to the trouble of contacting the lady

A rambling

 

RG

[Ice4fun 78407]

In fairness, this really is in most cases a turn off for both ladies and gentlemen alike. And that is blocked profiles on CERB.

I'm sure red flags are raised when a lady sees a male CERB member who has a blocked profile

Likewise, although not red flags, on the few times I have seen a lady's photo and go to check her profile to find it blocked...well I personally can't be bothered to try to find out anything more about her or contact her

CERB is supposed to be a relative open forum for potential clients to meet professional companions with the benefit of using anonymous board handles. When ladies and gentlemen alike even with the anonymity of this board hide by blocking their profiles, it must raise warning flags to the ladies, and at least for me, well I can't be bothered to even go to the trouble of contacting the lady

A rambling

 

RG

 

I agree 100%

[Brad 49548]

Not too much to complain of here, happily. I count myself pretty lucky and the ladies I've met have generally been very professional and special.

 

The one thing that does bug me a bit is a lady checking her phone repeatedly.

 

Once at the beginning of an encounter is understandable (for all I know she has a system where she texts someone after meeting as a safety precaution), but after that I guess I'm selfish enough that I want us to be focused on just each other. It puts a damper on things if I feel I'm not engaging enough to hold your attention for a mere hour.

 

I do have to say I'm a little surprised by the consensus of how many guys don't like being called "hun, babe, etc." I always find those sort of pet names quite endearing and affectionate myself. But, as in most things, to each their own!

[saskdoobiest 110]

This has been a helpful thread to me. I'm a new hobbyist looking to endulge, this website really helps to promote safety, honesty, and education

 

If anyone has any tips for beginners, please post. I'm considered a new member but would like to upgrade my credibility status.

 

Thanks

[Guest R**3*9]

Context for me...

 

I don't hate it but messages that begin that way tended to be short and have a copy and paste tone to them. I'm paying a lot of money to feel special and the e-mail/PM communication is a part of that for me.

 

That said the person I'm currently seeing calls me 'darling' all the time in her e-mails and I don't love it but I like her so I don't mind it, and I've never told her I don't like it so my bad...

 

Phrases like....

 

"What are you looking for hun?"

"My rates are $XXX darling?"

 

"Darling, I had a amazing time, so happy to meet you." Is OK LOL

[roamingguy 300292]

Well for me, as I already posted "Gotta pay the bills hun, gotta pay the bills" I don't think it was the "hun" in the message as the whole damn message that turned me off LOL

However, pet names, whether generic like "hun" "babe" "sweetheart" etc by either a lady or gentleman, take it as a term of affection. I don't see any ulterior motives in words like this, they are terms of endearment whether written or said.

My take on it

A rambling from a 53 year old guy who has been called hun, babe, sweetheart (and more ;-)) by many beautiful women and find it affectionate...especially when followed by an XOXO ;-)

A rambling

 

RG

[FunValerie 8573]

Not too much to complain of here, happily. I count myself pretty lucky and the ladies I've met have generally been very professional and special.

 

I do have to say I'm a little surprised by the consensus of how many guys don't like being called "hun, babe, etc." I always find those sort of pet names quite endearing and affectionate myself. But, as in most things, to each their own!

 

I with the gentlemen who dislike cute pet names. I dislike cute pet names. I have a business name which I like. I would prefer to be called by my real stage name because I created it myself. I totally understand someone who has given you his real first name and would like to be addressed by his full real first name. It makes sense to me that a person might like his own first name.

 

I am totally into being Valerie which I much prefer over Val or Babe or Hun or whatever.

[Old Dog 179138]

Turn offs?

 

Not many. At my age, I am always pleasantly surprised that a woman will not throw up when we are naked in the same room.

 

These are more general observations than anything else. If there is any advice I can pass along, these would be a few things that I would suggest:

 

1. Time: Hobbyists are consistently reminded that they are not compensating a provider for a specific service, they are compensating her for her time. Keeping that in mind, the idea of "shoot and scoot" just doesn't fly. A two hour appointment should last two hours unless the hobbyist leaves early at HIS discretion, unless of course he has been a total dickhead. If he has been a dickhead, you have the right to kill him and dissolve his body in the bathtub.

 

2. Punctuality: These days, everybody has time pressures. As much frustration as it is for a provider when a client is late, it is equally as frustrating when a provider shows up late. Life happens. We all make mistakes. We all get delayed. Just remember, when things start on time, everyone is a lot more relaxed and happy.

 

3. Social Media Interaction: This is a biggie for me. Whether you are writing here on CERB, on Twitter or on a subscribed Blog, your words are a window into your provider personna. The most beautiful person becomes ugly if they express themselves in a hateful manner. It cuts both ways. Some providers use what we say here as a screening tool - they don't want to deal with assholes and misogynists. Keeping that in mind, we won't see you if you have shown that you don't respect us. We won't see you if you are mean spirited. We won't see you if you twist our words against us. Food for thought.

 

4. Live rabid monkeys: Don't have them in your incall. They are intimidating.

 

5. Divided Attention: Everybody has a life. Sometimes we have stuff on our minds that we can't shake. The mark of a true professional in ANY line of work is to put that stuff on a mental shelf and get through the day. It's especially true here, where intimacy is so much harder to achieve when a provider's mind is obviously elsewhere.

 

6. Unnecessary commentary: Eeeeek. This is a tough one. Have you ever been in an intimate moment that has an undertone of soft and romantic when all of a sudden the badly delivered porn movie dialogue starts? I'm getting the shivers of discomfort just thinking about it. Ohhhhh... and please. Don't speak if your mouth is full... mid BJ commentary is kind of a boner killer.

 

7. Turkey Bacon: Only if every pig on the planet has died of a horrific flesh eating disease will turkey bacon be acceptable.

 

8: Outside communication: Turn off your cell phone. Do it. Now. Unless you have a friend or family member that is dying, your attention is with me. I've ended two encounters early because the provider was constantly checking her messages. In virtually EVERY other business, that kind of behaviour would merit discipline or termination. It's a disservice to your professionalism if you can't give me our time. The person on the other end of the line is NOT paying you now. I am.

 

9: Talking badly about other providers: This is tough. It's a very competitive business. Like many other hobbyists, I don't necessarily provide reviews or recommendations for the majority of providers with whom I have spent my time. Keeping that in mind, you have no idea of the nature of my relationship with nearly any other provider. I may absolutely adore a provider that you have just torn a verbal strip from... and that really doesn't help your cause.

 

10: Just another client: The biggest mistake any provider can make is to treat a client like "just another client." I have chosen you because you represent something desirable. I have brought my hard earned cash with me because I think you are special. I sought you out because I think you are going to be wonderful to and with me. Treat me like more than a donation envelope. Act as if you want to be with me. Make me feel like you want ME. The best providers (and we have so many great ones) know that the encounter is so much more than an intermingling of moistened body parts. They understand that the fantasy is passion and desire. If you want hobbyists to respect the fact that you are so much more than just a series of desirable body parts, treat HIM like more than a penis with an envelope.

 

Jeebus. I was on a roll there.