etiquette for sex terms

[wellie 652]

Many SPs provide information on the etiquette they expect from their clients. Following such etiquette requests presumably makes for smooth and pleasant interactions, whereas their violation creates annoyance and bad feelings.

One way to follow accepted etiquette is to use the terms and abbreviations used in the escort industry. see:

http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/faq.php?faq=abbreviations#faq_abvlist2

In this thread I would like to find out how members of cerb feel about the acceptability of sex terms from ordinary language in conversations between SPs and clients. To start the discussion, I will provide some examples of what in my opinion constitute acceptable and unacceptable terms.

Acceptable: bum, ass, breast, boob(ies), tit(ties), clit, vagina, labia, dick, penis, balls, boner, anus, erection

Unacceptable: c*nt, tw*t, v*g, b*x, sn*tch, pr*ck

Questionable: c*ck, meat, p*ssy, h*rd-on

There are thousands of other sex terms (see Urban Dictionary) that are too numerous to categorize.

What terms do you find perfectly acceptable or particularly unacceptable?

[MightyPen 67414]

I can tell you with some authority that "throbbing member" and "towering manhood" are right out!

 

More seriously, being a generally polite kind of guy, I sometimes stumble over nouns for body parts in this context. :) I guess I generally stick to the ones on your "acceptable" list (at least, the ones without the cutie little "-ies" suffixes). Especially when talking about a woman's body. I can sometimes get more graphic talking about my own parts, but my feet are planted firmly in respectable territory when describing my partner. It's not a case of me being timid -- just iron-clad respectful.

 

It's probably not surprising that hearing a woman use deliciously filthy language can be hugely exciting for me. It's pretty obviously a case of the woman comfortably venturing into a language space that I have some personal barriers visiting myself. And anything a partner can do that helps bring me to new places I don't visit on my own is a welcome part of the experience!

[Guest S**a*Q]

I think it depends on who you're with and what mood you're both in... I may not throw out the c**t word with a client, but I love using that word when I write my erotica. In a client/sp setting, I wouldn't have a problem if that was used while we were hot n bothered and words like that were being used... not just out of the blue, in the middle of a hot make out session...

 

I think there's a time and a place for things, it's talking to one another that will let us know what each others limits are even when it comes to vocabulary.

 

I guess that means that my opinion on this is that YMMV with words too :) There's always a right word for the right situation.

[Auralie (retired) 227]

It's definitely a fine balance between being too nasty/cutesy at inappropriate times. My pet peeve (maybe I'm weird) is the term 'boobies'. Especially in the middle of sex- I mean, we're too adults engaged in some exceptionally adult activities, 'boobies' sounds like something a 12 year old boy would giggle about.

[Guest W***ledi*Time]

.... we're too adults engaged in some exceptionally adult activities, 'boobies' sounds like something a 12 year old boy would giggle about.

 

ha ha ... I, for one, am a 12-year-old boy at heart [insert suppressed giggle here] ...

 

On a more "mature" note, it's safer to air on the side of conformity: I take my cue on language on any particular occasion from that used by my companion. For ladies that participate here on Cerb, I also check the terminology that they have themselves used in their posts or PMs.

 

The key to any polite use of language is to operate within a mutual comfort zone. The whole point of etiquette is to make the other person comfortable. This general rule trumps any list of specific verboten terminology or actions.

[Andee 220524]

I'm not hard to get along with. My restrictions are outlined on my website in clear language.

 

For me, if I was to sum it up, it would go like this:

 

Don't call me a whore. Don't refer to my pussy as a cunt and don't go anywhere near my bum hole. Make sure your hands are washed and nails trimmed if you expect to put your hands down there. When I ask you stop doing something I don't like, stop. I will respect you the same way. If you don't, I will end the session.

 

Anything else, just ask.

 

"Even though we're all different, we're all the same"

[wellie 652]

From the discussion so far, it does not appear that the use of crude terms is a major problem among members of cerb. On the other hand several posts note that "cutesy" words may be annoying.

Can we get some suggestions for the preferred terms for the following body parts:

a) female breasts

b) vulva

c) penis

d) buttocks

e) testicles

[Andee 220524]

From the discussion so far, it does not appear that the use of crude terms is a major problem among members of cerb. On the other hand several posts note that "cutesy" words may be annoying.

Can we get some suggestions for the preferred terms for the following body parts:

a) female breasts

b) vulva

c) penis

d) buttocks

e) testicles

 

I'm not laughing at you, but you're cute. Not sure if you'd ever get a consensus on those terms.

 

This thread could go on forever...

[Guest S***e]

If the term seems to go beyond the realm of good taste don't use it. Being very much old school, I don't swear in front of most people especially the ladies. Nothing wrong with being polite, well-mannered and thoughtful in what comes out of one's mouth.

[wellie 652]

AngelaofOttawa is laughing and thinks I am cute.

I think Angela has gorgeous tits, a delectable ass and an inviting pussy that make my cock move and my balls tingle.

But being cute I could say that Angela has pert boobies, a peachy fanny, and a dainty kitty.

[Kayla 344]

.. if a guy came out and said to me, 'oh I love it when you touch my penis', or 'you have lovely large breasts', I think I would dry up instantly. But I guess it's each persons opinion on what they like. Of course IMHO.

[stevecurious 42059]

Perhaps the best way to avoid an uncomfortable situation caused by using questionable terminology is to not use it at all! I have yet to, and most likely never will, feel the need to use any of the terms being discussed in this thread either with a lady or during a post or recommendation. Personally I do not think you need to reference body parts in posts, recos., or correspondence with your particular lady friend. More over I find most posts, etc. with the words cock, tits, pusy, etc. to be in questionable taste for mature adult hobbyists and the ladies whose company we enjoy SO much. Please do not get me wrong I am not condemning anyone for using such vocabulary I just do not see the need for it. I find it is always more enjoyable to leave just a little to the imagination either in recommendations, posts or in the bedroom. This is my view and I welcome anyone and everyone to either agree or disagree and again I do not mean to condemn or condone just offer my two cents as it were.