the first ever Happy Hooker Movement ... Please participate!

[Miss Melody 10483]

some really fabulous letter submissions on the site from both ladies and gents ... keep 'em coming!

 

http://www.happyhookersofcanada.com/category/hobby_letters/

 

http://www.happyhookersofcanada.com/category/letters/

 

Additional Comments:

Some changes have been made to the preamble to clearly state we represent CONSENSUAL sex workers whatever their circumstances.

 

Hope that helps to clarify our message and our movement.

 

Thanks for hearing and considering our concerns in regard to the general preamble on the site :)

[Maggies Toronto 140]

Dear Jessica and All,

 

I commend everyone's desire to fight Bill C36 -- but this IS NOT a strategic way to go about doing so. I understand that it is frustrating to always have your work stigmatized as 'bad', and to hear that we are all 'victims' and 'exploited'. However, instead of fighting this rhetoric, you are actually reinforcing it. Street-based and 'survival sex workers' -- the same as yourselves -- do not want or deserve to be stigmatized and criminalized in these ways. By making a distinction between 'happy' and 'unhappy' hookers, you are reinforcing the same stereotypes that we all want and need to fight against.

 

In fact, a colleague from Stella originally thought that the website was fake, and put up by sex work prohibitionists who support Bill C36 - because it reinforces pro-C36 arguments instead of fighting against them.

 

IT DOES SERVICE TO NO ONE to push a 'happy hooker' movement, especially at this current moment when we are fighting Bill C36. In the Bedford case, the Supreme Court of Canada struck down three key provisions of the Criminal Code - bawdy house, communication, and living on the avails - because they were found to violate the Charter rights to SAFETY AND SECURITY for sex workers. Because sex workers faced undo harm as a result of these laws, the SCC found these provisions unconstitutional.

 

Bill C36 is supposed to be a response to the Bedford decision, and as such must ensure the safety and security of sex workers. By putting forward a "Happy Hooker" movement, those involved are actually supporting Bill C36, because you are not recognizing the harms done to ALL sex workers through this legislation. It doesn't matter whether we as sex workers are 'happy' or not, or whether we like our job or not -- WHAT MATTERS IS THAT WE ALL HAVE THE RIGHT TO SAFETY AND SECURITY, and Bill C36 will only reinforce the same harms that sex workers have been facing for decades.

 

I haven't had a chance to read through this entire thread, but I wanted to let you and others know that Maggie's DOES NOT support this 'Happy Hooker' campaign. Maggie's supports the right of ALL SEX WORKERS to live and work with safety and dignity - whether they are classified (or classify themselves) as 'high end', 'happy', 'indoor', 'having mixed feelings', 'just paying the bills', 'street-based', 'outdoor', 'combination indoor/outdoor' etc etc. WE REFUSE to throw so-called 'survival sex workers' under the bus in order to push some idealistic notion of a 'happy hooker'. Sex workers, just like any other worker, may sometimes enjoy their job, may not enjoy it, may be happy some days, and less happy others.

 

Sex workers have been organizing for their rights and against stigma and criminalization for decades and decades in Canada. There is a strong and growing sex worker rights' movement in Canada. I encourage everyone to get involved and become educated about issues facing all different kinds of sex workers. We are stronger together.

 

Please do not reinforce the stigma and violence that street-based and/or 'survival' sex workers face. Please take down the 'Happy Hooker' website. Maggie's has never been onside or in support of initiatives such as this which are divisive and dismissive. We believe in working towards solidarity between sex workers, and different kinds of sex workers. We believe in the right of ALL sex workers to safety and security, and will continue to work for ALL sex workers to live and work with safety and dignity.

 

Sincerely,

 

Jean McDonald

Executive Director,

Maggie's - Toronto Sex Workers' Action Project

maggiestoronto.ca

[email protected]

[Miss Jessica Lee 43328]

Thanks for hearing and considering our concerns in regard to the general preamble on the site :)

 

Thank you for dealing with the issue respectfully. This is about consenting adults staying safe. A happy hooker is a safe hooker.

 

Join the movement!! Submit your story http://www.happyhookersofcanada.com !

[fortunateone 156618]

Well that was easy.

[Miss Jessica Lee 43328]

It doesn't matter whether we as sex workers are 'happy' or not, or whether we like our job or not -- WHAT MATTERS IS THAT WE ALL HAVE THE RIGHT TO SAFETY AND SECURITY, and Bill C36 will only reinforce the same harms that sex workers have been facing for decades....

 

...Please take down the 'Happy Hooker' website. We believe in the right of ALL sex workers to safety and security, and will continue to work for ALL sex workers to live and work with safety and dignity.

 

Sincerely,

 

Jean McDonald

Executive Director,

Maggie's - Toronto Sex Workers' Action Project

maggiestoronto.ca

[email protected]

 

Thanks for your post. I should maybe clarify our position again. As stated on the site, a happy hooker is a safe hooker. Safety is a top priority in order to maintain our happiness.

 

It does matter to us that we are happy and enjoying our jobs. It matters to many of those who enjoy our services too. I'm not sure why you feel otherwise.

 

The website is not coming down. If you really supported all sex workers you would support our right to speak and tell our stories.

[fortunateone 156618]

 

The website is not coming down.

 

If you really supported all sex workers you would support our right to speak and tell our stories.

 

 

MJL, i wish you wouldn't misrepresent what the comments were. This was never about stopping the concept or bringing the entire site down.

 

It was always about the front page description, which is so completely changed now that I still wonder why there was such a fight about just doing that in the first place. There wouldn't have been a message from maggies, or anyone else, if what is on it now was on it from day one.

 

The last sentence is particularly offensive to everyone who took the time to point out the flaws and potential flaws of the site in the first place. If we didn't care, we'd never have bothered to say anything.

[Miss Jessica Lee 43328]

MJL, i wish you wouldn't misrepresent what the comments were. This was never about stopping the concept or bringing the entire site down.

 

It was always about the front page description, which is so completely changed now that I still wonder why there was such a fight about just doing that in the first place. There wouldn't have been a message from maggies, or anyone else, if what is on it now was on it from day one.

 

The last sentence is particularly offensive to everyone who took the time to point out the flaws and potential flaws of the site in the first place. If we didn't care, we'd never have bothered to say anything.

 

I'm sorry, maybe you missed it, but in the above post Jean specifically asks for the site to be taken down. That was after the changes had been made. My post is clearly a response to her, nobody else. The last sentence is a direct response to her post claiming to work for ALL sex workers.

 

All due respect, cause I'm not sure what your problem is, but I wish you'd just leave this thread alone if you continue to have nothing positive to add.

[fortunateone 156618]

 

All due respect, cause I'm not sure what your problem is

 

 

and that has been my point all along. That you guys couldn't see the point of the comments that were being made.

 

I can't be more clear than that, and I really dislike when I see someone trying to downplay the intentions of those who commented prior to the changes on the site. I guess I was expecting some kind of statement with an apology or thank you to those who pointed out the flaws in it.

 

You need to be reminded that no one is saying your intentions weren't worthy, just the execution of it was flawed enough to create debate. That alone should have gotten y'all to sit up and look it over. There was never any need to get so defensive & you all came out offensive, that's all. The only reason I am commenting, for the most part, has nothing to do with you or MFF, it is for the other readers.

 

Whatever the topic, I feel that what was said or done is being misrepresented by various comments, obviously i will speak up. That is what people are used to seeing when I post lol I doubt if I will change. This is cerb, we don't expect attacks when we post, btw. i thought everyone was being very reasonable when they made their comments. Clearly, the main page was changed. There must have been validity in those comments, is all I'm saying.

[mrrnice2 157005]

What I do not know is a lot, but what I am reasonably confident of is that one commonality among Cerb members and elsewhere, clients or sex workers, is the desire to stop this insane legislation.The correct way, or the best way to do this is certainly not unanimously agreed upon.

 

I have written here in the past about my faith that wisdom would prevail, and then I wrote after Bill C-36 was introduced about the need to follow proper process and procedure. After watching the hearings I wrote some pretty crazy stuff here as well, and my progression in thought has changed as I have seen the intransigence of government and come to the realization that this will pass and that many are sluffing it off as no problem because the Supreme Court will overturn it.

 

First that is in no way a sure thing but more important is that in the time for that process to be followed from start to finish is the question of how many sex workers will be hurt, killed or criminalized As well, the forgotten people are the clients as well who will face increased danger and certain criminal charges if `caught.``

 

I have serious reservations about creating a two tier level of sex workers and clients. I am not ready to abandon street workers or those sex workers who ARE in this industry solely because of a lack of viable choices, and there is NO doubt in my mind that they DO exist.

 

Experience thus far seems to say that the proper process and procedure methodology has gotten us nowhere, but a Happy Hooker type campaign as noted may not be any more effective, and may hurt. Conservative `spin,`regardless of who says what in whichever forum is going to belittle supporters and discredit them with every opportunity. Ms. McDonald from Maggie`s delivered an amazing presentation before the committee and yet was disregarded and asked foolish questions by many of the committee members. The Happy Hooker reference from Conservative Stella Ambler shows how they will treat any discussion by consenting adults.

 

The bottom line is that I certainly do not know the `best,`way, but I am quite confident that supporters of this bill will delight in any sort of a split in a coordinated response.

 

Each of us will choose to do what we think is best and afterwards, keep in mind making donations to Maggie`s or POWER, as it is through their efforts that this is going to be fought in courtrooms.

[Miss Jessica Lee 43328]

and that has been my point all along. That you guys couldn't see the point of the comments that were being made.

 

I can't be more clear than that, and I really dislike when I see someone trying to downplay the intentions of those who commented prior to the changes on the site. I guess I was expecting some kind of statement with an apology or thank you to those who pointed out the flaws in it.

 

You need to be reminded that no one is saying your intentions weren't worthy, just the execution of it was flawed enough to create debate. That alone should have gotten y'all to sit up and look it over. There was never any need to get so defensive & you all came out offensive, that's all. The only reason I am commenting, for the most part, has nothing to do with you or MFF, it is for the other readers.

 

Whatever the topic, I feel that what was said or done is being misrepresented by various comments, obviously i will speak up. That is what people are used to seeing when I post lol I doubt if I will change. This is cerb, we don't expect attacks when we post, btw. i thought everyone was being very reasonable when they made their comments. Clearly, the main page was changed. There must have been validity in those comments, is all I'm saying.

 

I don't see anywhere I was rude or disrespectful or offensive, or defensive in fact if you read the thread again you will see that most often many of you were complaining because I allegedly "ignored" you..... I do see some seriously catty posts from others. Like this one for example...

Your feelings about sex work don't fucking matter

 

As I'm a sex worker, my feelings about sex work DO matter, but I refused to be baited and I think that frustrated people.

 

Most recently I was politely responding to a comment by another member. It wasn't directed to you or any other poster. As clearly indicated by my quoting her specific comments. Please don't respond for her.

 

If the preamble satisfies you then I'm not puzzled as to why you chose to keep bringing up a conflict that has been resolved.

[Kathryn Bardot 99339]

I don't see anywhere I was rude or disrespectful or offensive, or defensive.....but I do see some seriously catty posts from others. I refused to be baited and I think that frustrated people.

 

Most recently I was politely responding to a comment by another member. It wasn't directed to you or any other poster. As clearly indicated by my quoting her specific comments. Please don't respond for her.

 

If the preamble satisfies you then I'm not puzzled as to why you chose to keep bringing up a conflict that has been resolved.

 

I was biting my tongue up until this point because I didn't see the point of continuing when you were so intent on finding things to be offended about rather than considering what people were finding problematic.

However, you don't see anything rude or disrespectful about what you posted? I personally took offense to your comment about "people who do sweet fuck all" -- because you have NO idea of what people have or have not contributed. Nor is it an excuse for you to dismiss their valid concerns.

[Miss Jessica Lee 43328]

I would like to respectfully request that this thread maintain a positive vibe ...there is huge support for this movement ..... as indicated on the controversial original post ... this thread was nominated and thanked many many times!!

 

please take a moment to read the new letters recently added to the site from both happy hobbyists and providers.

 

They describe real life situations in which ladies have found their success and happiness through sex work, and gents have found companionship and intimacy they may not have otherwise enjoyed.

[Kathryn Bardot 99339]

"Comments

 

Miss Jessica Lee:

I never said your feelings "don't fucking matter" ... shockingly, that offended me. Go figure...???"

 

Where exactly did I say that? My feelings aren't part of this discussion, I have taken issue with your exclusionary and stigmatizing language.

[Miss Jessica Lee 43328]

"Comments

 

Miss Jessica Lee:

I never said your feelings "don't fucking matter" ... shockingly, that offended me. Go figure...???"

 

Where exactly did I say that? My feelings aren't part of this discussion, I have taken issue with your exclusionary and stigmatizing language.

 

Berlin said it, but you said I was 'finding things' to be offended at... I didn't have to look very hard. Being told that my feelings "don't fucking matter" is out of line and offensive. No question about it.

 

I refuse to allow this thread to deteriorate in the way you obviously intend.

 

Nobody is forcing you to view the thread, but if you do view and post please leave your negativity at the door.

[VedaSloan 119179]

I don't see anywhere I was rude or disrespectful or offensive, or defensive in fact if you read the thread again you will see that most often many of you were complaining because I allegedly "ignored" you..... I do see some seriously catty posts from others. Like this one for example...

 

As I'm a sex worker, my feelings about sex work DO matter, but I refused to be baited and I think that frustrated people.

 

Most recently I was politely responding to a comment by another member. It wasn't directed to you or any other poster. As clearly indicated by my quoting her specific comments. Please don't respond for her.

 

If the preamble satisfies you then I'm not puzzled as to why you chose to keep bringing up a conflict that has been resolved.

 

Berlin said it, but you said I was 'finding things' to be offended at... I didn't have to look very hard. Being told that my feelings "don't fucking matter" is out of line and offensive. No question about it.

 

I refuse to allow this thread to deteriorate in the way you obviously intend.

 

Nobody is forcing you to view the thread, but if you do view and post please leave your negativity at the door.

 

 

Your feelings don't matter. How I feel about sex work, how you feel about sex work, how the antis feel about sex work--doesn't matter. You can write your letters about being happy until you're blue in the face, but they still don't matter.

 

We can certainly feel offended and upset, but at the end of the day what matters is the laws cause harm. When you view sex work as work, feelings are irrelevant to the discussion. What matters are labour rights.

[Miss Jessica Lee 43328]

I would like to respectfully request that this thread maintain a positive vibe ...there is huge support for this movement ..... as indicated on the controversial original post ... this thread was nominated and thanked many many times!!

 

please take a moment to read the new letters recently added to the site from both happy hobbyists and providers.

 

They describe real life situations in which ladies have found their success and happiness through sex work, and gents have found companionship and intimacy they may not have otherwise enjoyed.

 

bumping this because we seem to be going in circles here... let's keep it positive.

[EmilyMuse 420]

It sounds like high school here. Ladies, stop attacking eachother. Lets focus. You are taking energy away from the mission at hand. Lets get back to work shakl we.......

[Kimberly-Shea 28280]

We can certainly feel offended and upset, but at the end of the day what matters is the laws cause harm. When you view sex work as work, feelings are irrelevant to the discussion. What matters are labour rights.

 

^ This is the most relevant thing posted in this entire thread. imo

 

Kimberly-Shea, Sex Worker

[kerrixoxo 33719]

Hmmm, I don't know how to say this without upsetting anyone. I get that MJL wanted to take some sort of action. I commend you for stepping up to the plate and filling (what you thought) was a gap in the discussion.

 

However, I have to say that the major issue with the happy hooker narratives is when the anti-sex workers employ these arguments, "If you are so happy with your job why aren't you out and proud as a sex worker?" Well there are a lot of reasons why, the main one, criminalization.

 

As a sex worker, if you are charged with any prostitution related charges, then you will not be able to cross the border.

 

If you are a mother and you are outed as a sex worker, you may potentially lose your children or access to your children.

 

If you are a sex worker and are working other forms of employment, you could lose your other forms of employment.

 

If you are a sex worker and a student, you could potentially damage your future career--yes some sex workers only do this part time and to help fund schooling.

 

If you are a sex worker and you volunteer with certain organizations (or want to volunteer with certain organizations), sometimes those require background checks and/or a "clean" criminal record.

 

Some sex workers are alienated from their family/friends and/or their personal/professional relationships are harmed and they are pushed further to isolation and alienation.

 

Not everyone can be out and proud because of the risk of criminalization which contributes to stigmatization, alienation, and isolation especially for the most marginalized sex work populations. There are so many other things you could lose access to if you are out and proud as a sex worker like access to equitable health care, access to housing, access to safety and security, access to social supports--this isn't just about a few sex workers who can afford all the nice things in life, plus happiness and more.

 

While I get that the intentions were good and that someone wanted to have their story heard, that could have been done in many ways that does not feed into these anti-sex work narratives. The antis and the government HAVE already said that if you are safe and it was criminal before, then what is the problem with sex work STILL being criminal,

 

As quoted by Hillyer,

"In the sex worker's letter...if these people are already willing to give their information during this illegal activity, I am not sure why they would not under this new legislation."

 

The site says, "a happy hooker is a safe hooker" and if this all that is needed, then I am certain that the antis will also say, "well, you don't have to have your work decriminalized for your safety then" and they already HAVE made this argument plenty of times--they always argue, "this is for the victims!" and this is what the happy hooker site contributes to--these happy hooker/victim narratives.

 

The site basically says that sex work doesn't need to be decriminalized and supports the intent of the Bill, which is "to protect the victims and if you aren't a victim, then you don't have to worry! The Bill doesn't worry about you!"

 

You can be a proud sex worker/hooker/whatever but when we feed into these larger discourses, we run the risk of hurting the case for decriminalization which is access to rights not access to happiness.

 

I hope, Jessica, you realize that nobody is attacking you personally.

 

I also hope what I said was clear and if you have any questions/comments/concerns, please do not hesitate to contact me or reply here.

[Miss Jessica Lee 43328]

I would like to respectfully request that this thread maintain a positive vibe ...there is huge support for this movement ..... as indicated on the controversial original post ... this thread was nominated and thanked many many times!!

 

please take a moment to read the new letters recently added to the site from both happy hobbyists and providers.

 

They describe real life situations in which ladies have found their success and happiness through sex work, and gents have found companionship and intimacy they may not have otherwise enjoyed.

 

let's try this one more time.... shall we?

[kerrixoxo 33719]

I hope one day you realize that your site adds support for Bill c36 and not opposing it. The government doesn't care about your feelings or the feelings of clients-they will bulldoze through this Bill and the antis will say you are the minority and they already have. That's the problem with this site. You can create your own movement but this site just adds support to the preamble to the Bill--it's about the victims and you are not a victim thus, you are not a representative of the people the Bill is trying to protect.

 

That is all and that's the logic behind the Bill and the site.

 

I'm out.

[Gabriella Laurence 301887]

... A happy hooker is a safe hooker.

Hello MJL,

 

I've been trying to wrap my head around this concept and it still doesn't make any sense to me. Would you mind explaining the thought process behind it?

 

Btw, I am not asking this question in a confrontational manner. I truly want to understand what the statement represents and how it makes sense.

 

Thanks :)

[MsFemmeFatale 272]

and that has been my point all along. That you guys couldn't see the point of the comments that were being made.

 

I can't be more clear than that, and I really dislike when I see someone trying to downplay the intentions of those who commented prior to the changes on the site. I guess I was expecting some kind of statement with an apology or thank you to those who pointed out the flaws in it.

 

You need to be reminded that no one is saying your intentions weren't worthy, just the execution of it was flawed enough to create debate. That alone should have gotten y'all to sit up and look it over. There was never any need to get so defensive & you all came out offensive, that's all. The only reason I am commenting, for the most part, has nothing to do with you or MFF, it is for the other readers.

 

Whatever the topic, I feel that what was said or done is being misrepresented by various comments, obviously i will speak up. That is what people are used to seeing when I post lol I doubt if I will change. This is cerb, we don't expect attacks when we post, btw. i thought everyone was being very reasonable when they made their comments. Clearly, the main page was changed. There must have been validity in those comments, is all I'm saying.

 

 

There has been a huge amount of support for this site, and there have been a few with great constructive feedback and there have been a select few in small numbers who disguise their "concerns" has attacks to the site, to MJL and to her story that she and every other person, sex worker, etc has the right to tell.

 

To those who were respectful and helpful in suggestions, they got heard and things where changed, so clearly it was not all defensive plays from the HHC. MJL and Emily listen to a lot of people and worked hard to ensure that opinions where heard and validated for those people.

 

To those select few who were offensive, demanding and discarding to the sex workers and their story, I have no problem defending MJL or the HHC site.

 

That is my opinion on it. I will say this however as clearly it needs said here. I am only the webmaster of the site. While I agree with the cause, I DO NOT speak for the HHC in any regard. So leave me out it.

 

You post and feel how you want and others will do the same. Why are you even mentioning me on this site when I have never posted here? I would suggest you read your PM on Perb and follow along acordingly with regard to me in the future.

[Miss Jessica Lee 43328]

Hello MJL,

 

I've been trying to wrap my head around this concept and it still doesn't make any sense to me. Would you mind explaining the thought process behind it?

 

Btw, I am not asking this question in a confrontational manner. I truly want to understand what the statement represents and how it makes sense.

 

Thanks :)

 

speaking only for myself of course, as everyone had their own experiences, I've rarely felt unsafe. On those few occasions that I have, I was far from happy. I've made changes to my screening to try to ensure that feelings of fear don't happen, and I've remained safe and happy because of it. Hope that helps.

 

edit: Mod pointed out to me that my first response to Kathryn Bardot set a negative tone for the thread, and I agree. I could have done better. Please accept my apologies for that.

 

Remember that everyone has an opinion ... that's what makes us unique. If mine is different from yours, that doesn't make it wrong, it makes it different. All of the posts here are opinion... just like mine. I often disagree with yours, but I don't object to your right to express it. Please respect my right to express mine.

[kerrixoxo 33719]

speaking only for myself of course, as everyone had their own experiences, I've rarely felt unsafe. On those few occasions that I have, I was far from happy. I've made changes to my screening to try to ensure that feelings of fear don't happen, and I've remained safe and happy because of it. Hope that helps.

 

edit: Mod pointed out to me that my first response to Kathryn Bardot set a negative tone for the thread, and I agree. I could have done better. Please accept my apologies for that.

 

Remember that everyone has an opinion ... that's what makes us unique. If mine is different from yours, that doesn't make it wrong, it makes it different. All of the posts here are opinion... just like mine. I often disagree with yours, but I don't object to your right to express it. Please respect my right to express mine.

 

So I didn't want to reply but I think what you said here is exactly what is missing from the site.

 

This Bill is criminalizing the ability to screen clients and the SCC already unequivocally established that screening is vital to the safety of sex workers. You mention that it was the ability to screen your clients that increased your happiness because it changed your feelings of fear AND that is going to trigger a response from MPs or to attract MPs to listen to your messaging. Otherwise, like I have previously mentioned, the MPs will brush you aside and all sides of the political spectrum will dismiss your voice as a small minority or someone the Bill isn't meant to protect. You may argue that you are not a victim and that your voice isn't being heard but the logic behind the Bill isn't meant to protect the non-exploited sex workers. You can call this an opinion but I am telling you, your site misses the point of the charter challenge, the SCC decision and the government response (the Bill). These facts are undeniable.

 

The SCC also said that third party violence does not negate the role of the state in creating the harms. If the Bill prevents a sex workers' ability to screen and the SCC already unequivocally established that screening is vital to the safety of sex workers, then the state is negating its role in creating harms in sex workers' lives.

 

You can be happy all you want but you need to make it clear why you are happy on your site and why screening has protected you. Like I said, this isn't about happiness it is about safety and protection--the right to life, liberty, and security of person (FYI happiness isn't included in establishing the legal test for this type of charter challenge).

 

And as for your comment, "why do your feelings matter and mine dont?" I never once said this was about my feelings. This isn't personal.

 

Also thank you Gabriella for asking a much needed question!