The "New" Guy (St. John's)

[SuperNewf 1394]

Hello everybody,

 

Thought I would introduce myself and ask for some advice.

 

A bit about me: I am 26, ex-military, vegan, an animal rights and autism awareness activist, and a high school tutor in my spare time.

 

I am based in St. John's, NL, and completely new to this kind of scene. I recently went through a series of very bad experiences relationship-wise and am no longer interested in traditional relationships but I still want to develop meaningful connections and add some adventure to my life. However, I have no idea where to begin.

 

I have Autism and even though I am highly intelligent and have a lot of 'worldly' experience (mostly with hardship) I have a great deal of difficulty with even simple social interaction, let alone the rules for contacting, meeting and interacting with an SP. I was wondering if anybody would be kind enough to tell me what things I should do to prepare, to expect, what questions to ask, etc, even if it is something that is usually taken for granted that people know. I have been researching a lot of stuff on these boards but I usually need instructions to be extremely specific to be able to understand.

 

I have only ever been with one woman, who herself had some serious mental issues, so I would consider my sexual experience rather limited, even though I am confident with what I do know. I was also wondering if there were any ladies in my area who enjoy working with 'new' guys and teaching them things about this industry and sex in general. Thanks!

[Midnite-Energies 110563]

Hello there and welcome to CERB, thanks for the honest up front note.

 

My first piece of advice is to go into the "new to this" section which you already found and read the sticky notes at the top. This is great information for anyone new to the industry. It provides a lot of great details about contact, what to expect etc. This will give you a solid basis and a little more comfort. If there is something you need to be more specific for your understanding, ask about it. This way you don't get overwhelmed or bogged down.

 

Next I would recommend doing your homework. Find ladies that appeal to you and read their posts and website and get a feel for who they might be in person. When you find someone you like, contact them via their preferred method.

 

The most important step for you would be contact. This is when it's important to be up front an honest about what you might need or issues you might have in regards to the social interaction. While autism is more well known, unless someone is dealing with it regularly or aware of the variances, they need to be informed so they can help make your experience the best for you.

 

Good luck and most of all, enjoy the journey, it can be a wonderful ride.

[Meaghan McLeod 179664]

Welcome to CERB. Traci gave some great advice and I hope it helps.

[Phaedrus 209521]

If somebody wants to message me through PM or reply here and possibly help walk me through all the steps of arranging and preparing for and going to an encounter so that I can ask clarification questions I'd find that extremely helpful :).

 

I almost PM'd you... but it strikes me that you may well not be the only person with questions, so I'm replying here instead :)

 

Feel free to PM me if you want to know anything - I'm more than happy to help as I can! Same goes for anyone else.

[Lexy Grace 103697]

Welcome to Cerb!

 

You have certainly found the right place for what you seek.

The members here are very helpful and don't mind answering any questions you may have, either on this thread, other threads or via PM.

 

As a companion myself I am happy you have joined and only wish you were not so far away! You seem like a very sweet gentleman and your honesty and openness is admirable.

 

I'm sure you will find exactly the right companion(s) and have wonderful experiences.

 

Good luck, have fun and enjoy yourself!

 

Hugs and Kisses,

Lexy

[roamingguy 300292]

First off, the very first encounter you ever have, if at all like me, will be both terrifying, and exciting at the same time. But overcome the fear of seeing a companion (I know, easier said than done) and book an encounter with a companion who interests you

Avoid sites, JMO of course, like BP and CL. CERB is a good forum and community to find a companion who interests you. In addition CERB has a recommendations page, here it is for St Johns

http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=264

That would be a good start to find a companion who interests you.

Now once you see a lady's profile and she interests you, contact her through her preferred method of contact, be it email, text phone call etc

Be respectful when contacting her. You should explain up front when you contact the lady that you have autism, and how it manifests itself, so the lady will know what to expect when she meets you

Also, you need to decide whether you are going to have an incall or outcall

Incall you go to the lady's place, Outcall the lady comes to your place (usually a hotel).

Once a date is booked, whether incall or outcall, GO THROUGH WITH IT

The lady has set aside a block of time to see YOU based on your word that you are going to show up. As enjoyable and sociable this lifestyle is, it is for guys an escape, for the ladies, their livelihood, their job. If you don't show up that is a block of time the lady could have used for another client. And any nervousness, heart pounding etc, it's normal...all part of the excitement of a date. I get that way even with ladies I have seen before...the day there is no nervousness, heart pounding, excitement, that's the day I quit. I say this so you don't cancel because you might get nervous

BTW here is a link to another thread which may be useful more on following instructions

http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=78942

The money, put in an envelope and discretely lay down on a table (if incall) for the lady to pick up and count. Don't be offended if she does count. You may wish to include a gift (gift cards are a good option, the lady may have a website with suggestions for gifts) If you are having an outcall then just leave the envelope on your table

One thing about the lady's donation, don't negotiate her rate. Her rate is her rate, and not something to haggle over...that's a sure way not to get your email/text returned

Finally, some ladies employ screening/verification. That means providing your real name, phone, email and reference. First, don't be afraid of this, many ladies employ screening, it is a routine part of seeing a professional companion. Seeing as you are new, you wouldn't have a reference. But if you want to make a good first impression, on your introductory email, provide other verification information, it shows openness and trust. The lady may have other ways to verify you since you have no reference

Anyhow, that's a lot to absorb, I know. And I probably forgot something, so others may add to this

Good Luck

 

RG

[roamingguy 300292]

Yeah, I got that point very quickly after looking at a few SPs' pages and threads here. One thing I was wondering about though I might as well ask here so as not to offend an SP:

 

Is it at any point appropriate to ask if an SP offers frequent customer rates? For example my financial resources are budgeted pretty strictly but I want to try to develop ongoing relationships with people. So, my question is, (assuming an SP isn't fully booked up) if I am hypothetically seeing somebody regularly once a month for say 250 (random number), would it ever be appropriate to ask if I could see them once every 2 weeks instead for 200 (for 400 total 'bankable' a month instead of 250)? This seems like it makes sense to me because I pay more total (in the same way that most SPs I have looked at so far have discounts for multiple hour sessions) but if it is considered offensive I will not entertain that notion.

 

What you could do is ask a lady if she offers a retainer type arrangement. And if so, what your expectations are, and what are her expectations of such an arrangement. She may be amiable to this, she may not

But your logic as you put it out really doesn't work out for the lady. Under your figures she would get $250 month for one encounter. That means really for two encounters per month she should then earn $500 month. Your suggested arrangement means she is only making $400 month...that's a loss for her of $100 month

Keep in mind, ladies do this for their income. Why would a lady have two encounters per month with the same client for a reduced rate when she can have one encounter with that client at her regular rate and another encounter with another client at her regular rate.

But before broaching the subject of a retainer, make sure you have established a good rapport and connection with the lady. And having two one hour encounters (I'm assuming based on your suggested donation) really isn't enough time to have a retainer type arrangement, usually they are arrangements of longer duration.

Anyhow, a rambling

Good Luck

 

RG

[Guest *Ste***cque**]

Hi and welcome to CERB. I think RG gave you some very good advice.

 

When I booked my first few appointments I too wondered about appropriate behavior, given that paying for sex with a stranger was a new experience for me. I eventually relaxed into a pattern where I;

 

1. Politely introduce myself via email or text, whichever method they prefer. I tell them I am married, my age, and anything else I think might be relevant (you should mention your autism). I ask, can I book an hour on this date and time. They will confirm a date and ask me to text them just before the date to get the room #.

2. I show up on time, smile when she answers the door and say hello.

3. I place the envelope with the money on the nearest table and ask if I could grab a quick shower. This is never any problem as they like to know their clients are clean.

4. I come out of the shower with a towel around me and sit at the edge of the bed. They usually take over from here. If you're unsure what to do or say, just tell her you are a little unsure what to do and could use some guidance. They will be glad to take the reins. During the appointment if you want to do something different (various positions or sex acts), just ask if that would be OK and she will let you know what her limits are.

5. Afterwards you can talk about generic topics if you want, nothing personal is the safest choice, and I keep an eye on the time. I then ask to grab another quick shower, get dressed and I tell her I had a nice time as I leave.

6. I usually follow up with a text 5 minutes later as I walk to my vehicle telling her what a great time I had.

 

I wasn't sure how specific you wanted me to be. I understand with autism it can be helpful with understanding to be as specific as possible. I hope you find this useful and I wish you well with your adventures.

I'm not sure what you mean when you state you want to develop "meaningful connections" but it's important to realize from the outset that these encounters are strictly business. Any attempt to change those dynamics will not be welcome. Even George Clooney would probably be rebuffed if he tried to get too personal. SP's don't want the line crossed into their personal lives, period. That's just the way it is. You can still have lots of excitement though and maybe learn some useful skills.

Good luck!

Steve