Off-Limits Conversation Topics During a Date?

[SuperNewf 1394]

Hello,

 

I am wondering what kinds of conversation topics are considered inappropriate or should otherwise not be broached while on a date with an SP. I have already gathered that discussing money or services breaks the immersion and are big no-nos, but are there any other topics that should be avoided?

 

For example:

Discussing Significant Others (theirs or yours)?

Other clients of hers?

Her day job or personal life outside the industry in general?

 

If anyone has any information to offer, I would like to compile a "Do Not Discuss" list.

 

On the other hand, are there any particularly good conversation topics that are recommended as well? Mainly for during a first meeting but some could be for regular ones as well.

[roamingguy 300292]

Here is a thread on the question you asked

 

http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=10326&highlight=subjects

 

RG

[EmilyRushton 253372]

Rule of thumb - if you don't think you will like the answer or don't want the question turned back to you - DONT ASK

[Studio 110 by Sophia 150333]

Don't ask...( me anyways)

How old were you when you first had sex.

are you single or married

what is your real name

why don't you do "x"

why cant you work on weekends or evenings ( or what ever applies)

are you STD free, when was your last test

anything to do with my SO or family

where do live really

 

these are NOT appropriate on your first few meetings. Allow the lady to open that conversation if she wishes. I know for me, I will immediately become defensive if you asked me these right from the first start. Over time as I become comfortable with you and you have earned my trust then I may open up and discuses more on a personal level.

Just as I would not ask you these things in the beginning.

 

I absolute hate being asked about my first time having sex, or anything on my decisions not to offer certain things. I simply do not have to justify to anyone why I do some things and not others things. Then it feels like cohesion, which is a big big no no in my books.

[mrgreen760 37785]

My experience is that it really depends and each person is really different. I've heard some pretty wild personal stuff which I never sought out which came out of a very generic question. Some people really do want to talk about themselves and if they feel comfortable and safe there is no limit.

 

I'm open, friendly and interested in whoever I see as a person and perhaps mostly I'm a good listener. It happens in my civilian life all the time too.

 

 

Peace

MG

[roamingguy 300292]

I thought there was another thread on this subject.

Very informative thread, and Cat's guidelines are a real good starting point

 

http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=97946

 

RG

[Meaghan McLeod 179664]

If you think about information that YOU would share and what you would NOT share with a complete stranger. Would you tell them your banking info? Not likely because you don't know what they would do with this info. So questions like are you married, what is your real address, what is your real name - could jeopardize the providers safety. Most providers will not ask their first guest questions they wouldn't want asked themselves.

 

I have with regular guests divulged personal information about myself only to have it backfire in my face. Next thing you know they find your personal Facebook profile and lurking around on that. So we don't always know who to trust and who we can't. So we don't tell anyone.

 

So i would suggest at first keep the questions somewhat general. What's going on in the world, hobbies, places you would like to travel to.

 

Of course questions about sex are rarely off limits. What position does she like, favorite sex play etc. This is where her expertise comes into play.

 

I always say don't ask a question that you feel uncomfortable being asked. However, once you have spent time with a provider and she feels comfortable sharing information with you then let her take the lead. However even if you've seen her 100 times and she still hasn't opened up and shared with you then that's how she is. I know some that are very open and others that are not. We are all individuals so you have to take her lead

[SexxxyRebecca 57989]

The worse I get just this week... How much money you make? Its not because Im an escort that its more appropriate to ask than a lawyer, cashier, nurse whatever.. Real TURN-OFF.. Will you ask your neighboir how much he make in a year!?!

[Katherine of Halifax 113932]

My most hated and so presumptuous question . Why hasn't a woman like you been scooped up yet? What makes anyone think I have been or not? Do they think that someone that is a companion would never, ever have a SO?

[Studio 110 by Sophia 150333]

I really have no idea how anybody goes about acquiring a significant other to begin with. The sentiment that I think that I am getting from this forum is that any client is automatically out of the running for a relationship outside of the business. Correct me if I'm wrong. Maybe guys have some sort of stereotype in their heads that a woman who is an SP doesn't want to be in a "relationship" (by regular society's definition).

 

You are right here, like, how NON-sexy is it, if I am trying to be your dream date, then suddenly you say " wow why are you single" or "are you single?" and when you say " no I am involved" then they assume he must be some lazy ass, living off of my income, or that I live off him and I am just doing this for "extra" ....

 

We both have our own work, own money and our own bills just like most couples in this world.

 

I am a business operator/owner, and what I do in my business is one thing, and what I do in my personal life...well is personal! It is a buzz kill to start asking me or assuming about my personal intimacy. Especially when I strive to make you the center of my attention while together. Not to mention, I hate it if I feel someone feels I am oppressed or forced into this in any way, shape or form.

 

I am a grown women with many different experiences in my resume, this is one I have chosen!

[Studio 110 by Sophia 150333]

This makes a lot of sense, but the main problem I have is this...

 

If I get to know a girl and happen to like her very much, I might feel the desire to ask her out. I don't see why being an SP makes this notion any different; don't people ask out people that they meet through work somehow all the time? I feel like I might be missing some important concept.

 

The important concept that you may be missing is that we are no on line looking for a date. We are here to provide a professional service, period. The whole attraction for this hobby/profession, is that NSA no strings attached!

If I had free dates with all my client how are my credit cards, rent, phone, ads, hair salon be paid for??

 

That is like a hair dresser not being able to pay for the rental on their chair cause they let all their family come for free.

 

NOT SUGGESTED TO LOOK FOR A RELATIONSHIP as a hobbyist:( That really will guarantee that you will not book again with me. If I was looking for a personal date, I would be on POF.

[Studio 110 by Sophia 150333]

That also makes a lot of sense, but now that goes right back to the previous point: If one of the reasons an SP is in the business is that she doesn't want a 'relationship', then how did she end up getting a significant other?

 

I also wasn't suggesting having free dates with all the clients, but rather hypothetically wondering why, if an SP does happen to be single, and single people sometimes get asked out and if they like the person say yes and develop a relationship, what is the exact quality that makes clients specifically exempt from this possibility (and as far as I know so far the only exemption)? (I would also like to point out that I am not referring to myself specifically, as I am extremely picky about the kind of person I would want to pursue a SO relationship with and have zero desire for one at all right now, but I don't see why it would be any less likely to discover those qualities in an SP than in any other girl)

 

I apologize for the continued questions but I am trying to wrap my head around this entanglement, as as far as I know it doesn't exist for any other business.

 

OK, so I am out of this conversation now. Have fun.

[Katherine of Halifax 113932]

That also makes a lot of sense, but now that goes right back to the previous point: If one of the reasons an SP is in the business is that she doesn't want a 'relationship', then how did she end up getting a significant other?

 

I also wasn't suggesting having free dates with all the clients, but rather hypothetically wondering why, if an SP does happen to be single, and single people sometimes get asked out and if they like the person say yes and develop a relationship, what is the exact quality that makes clients specifically exempt from this possibility (and as far as I know so far the only exemption)? I would also like to point out that I am not referring to myself specifically but purely out of confusion, as I am extremely picky about the kind of person I would want to pursue a SO relationship with and have zero desire for one at all right now. However, I don't see why it would be any less likely to discover those qualities in an SP than in any other girl so I acknowledge that it could potentially happen in the distant future.

 

I apologize for the continued questions but I am trying to wrap my head around this entanglement, as as far as I know it doesn't exist for any other business.

 

SuperNewf, this is a complex and complicated issue you are trying to solve. As Sophia has said we are here to provide you with a wonderful, sexual and emotional experience, one that our time is compensated for. When your time is over with us we won't call, text or bother you unless you request another date. Some of us have SO's some do not. There is no real answer to why if we are single of not would we accept an unpaid engagement.

 

When someone contacts me for a date my only assumption is he is looking for an uncomplicated sexual experience. That is what I am here for and that is what I get a donation for. I have a home, car, and all the sorts of bills everyone else has.

 

Ladies are here to earn a living at something we enjoy but we are earning a living . Most ladies also state we do not accept of the clock proposals and out time social or otherwise is covered.

 

That is not to say what you suggest never occurs but it I bet not one lady when she is invited to spend time things Gee, maybe this person will want to spend time with me off the clock.

 

This is my take on your question and I hope you can see where I am coming from . :icon_smile::icon_smile:

[Brad 49548]

That also makes a lot of sense, but now that goes right back to the previous point: If one of the reasons an SP is in the business is that she doesn't want a 'relationship', then how did she end up getting a significant other?

 

I also wasn't suggesting having free dates with all the clients, but rather hypothetically wondering why, if an SP does happen to be single, and single people sometimes get asked out and if they like the person say yes and develop a relationship, what is the exact quality that makes clients specifically exempt from this possibility (and as far as I know so far the only exemption)?

 

I would also like to point out that I am not referring to myself specifically but just hypothetically purely out of confusion, as I am extremely picky about the kind of person I would want to pursue a SO relationship with and have zero desire for one at all right now. However, I don't see why it would be any less likely to discover those qualities in an SP than in any other girl so I acknowledge that it could potentially happen in the distant future. I am 26 and have only pursued a relationship with 3 women total in my life so I ask someone out on average once every 8.67 years, lol!

 

I apologize for the continued questions but I am trying to wrap my head around this entanglement, as as far as I know it doesn't exist for any other business.

 

 

SuperNerf, I can tell you're asking these questions in good faith and it's commendable that you want to understand the etiquette.

 

As SuiteEscapes mentioned, this is a professional relationship, albeit one like no other. The ladies do a great job of setting up an intimate atmosphere and making you feel special and desired. But you are generally going to put a lady in an extremely awkward position if you ever try to ask for something beyond the established, professional relationship.

 

Is it impossible for an SP and a client to end up something more? No, it's happened, of course. But those exceptions are just that, exceptions, and not something that should be taken as a sign that it's something to pursue. Many, many more happy or promising companionships were ruined than made this way.

 

Besides the awkwardness, it is rude. Why? Well, typically speaking you don't ask someone who does something for their livelihood to provide that service free of charge. Well, these ladies offer time and companionship and intimacy. So, even when you like them and feel a connection (which can be common and not a bad thing in itself!) it would be rude to seek more, as that's essentially trying to get free what they do for a living.

 

Even if your intentions and feelings are sincere, it still puts the lady in a hard spot, which you of course wouldn't want to do. And it isn't going to help that the bulk of the previous guys who already tried to pursue time off the clock may have been doing so for not-so-genuine reasons!

 

In short, just as a lady finds it awkward and a turn-off when a client negotiates, has bad hygiene, or doesn't follow instructions, they are also going to feel awkward when placed in a position where a client is asking for the relationship between them to be something other than what is agreed upon and understood. She wants to go about this business without that worry.

 

I hope that helps.

[VedaSloan 119179]

The big difference-you're paying me. Being intimate and sexual is a service that I provide. How you experience the moment and how the provider experiences the moment are two totally different things. This is my job. I have a life outside of the job. I may enjoy and have fun with you as client. But because we have fun together, doesn't mean I should do it for free. We can enjoy our work and still want to get paid.

[Guest Ou**or**n]

There is no question that in the age of todays GFE-style escorting that it can sometimes get very confusing. An SP is more than a provider of sexual services they are also engaged in emotional labour. By that it is their job to make you feel a certain way. This can easily give one the impression a lady is more interested or compatible than she really is. It is also tough on the ladies as they do have occasionally deal with clients that have misunderstood things and crossed the line.

 

To answer your original question I can only answer by relating my personal approach. On a first date I keep conversation very light and non-personal and I don't ask any personal questions at all. I talk about more general things - favorite movies or TV shows, music or whatever. If the lady gives personal information during conversation I often return by sharing a bit about myself. I don't dig and ask more detailed questions. I find as I share about myself that over time we develop a comfortable middle ground between being strangers and having a personal connection.

 

Quite simply take this hobby as a chance to have wonderful sex with sexy women who are good at it. Don't use it to fill an emotional void in your life. Do not use it as an alternative to dating. Do not use it as a means to try and meet an SO.

[VedaSloan 119179]

Rather, from my understanding of what you are saying, I am wondering, "Why don't SPs charge their significant others for intimate/sex time?" Was it presumptuous of me to assume this? (For all I know, they do.)

 

 

They do, it's called "marriage." ;)

[MightyPen 67414]

I am thinking from the opposite perspective of 'client getting free intimate/sex time'. Rather, from my understanding of what you are saying, I am wondering, "Why don't SPs charge their significant others for intimate/sex time?" Was it presumptuous of me to assume this? (For all I know, they do.)

If it helps, imagine that you were seeing a psychotherapist who listened attentively to all of your innermost thoughts for, say, one hour each week. It's great! She listens to you with such interest! Surely you should take this relationship to the next level and see each other outside your therapy sessions!

 

Would you confuse this professional therapeutic relationship with a friendship on her personal terms? Would you ask your therapist out to for a drink or on a date? Do you think making such a request would go well?

 

Naturally no, it would not go well. That's not a comment about your personal qualities -- it's just that a professional relationship generally precludes a personal one.

 

Same thing with an SP. Sure, you do sometimes hear about other relationships evolving, but 99.9% of the time such confusion and blurring of boundaries just ruins what could have remained an ongoing happy play time.

 

Also: do you imagine that a therapist's day job means she must surely charge her real-life friends for conversations or advice? "Great talk. Glad your family is well! Oh, and here's my bill." Once again... same thing. And I have to tell you, I think it was a... jarring question for you to ask. Hope you can see why.

[waterat 20911]

They do, it's called "marriage." ;)

 

Yup! And it has an extremely high, exclusive hourly rate! lol

[Gabriella Laurence 301887]

...I was asking about trying to begin one from the very start; taking a relationship to the very 'first level' if you will.

 

SuperNewf,

 

I believe MighyPen made an excellent post that highlighted quite well the distinctions between different types of relationships.

 

It's quite simple: ladies in the industry are not using CERB as a dating option... We are professional escorts/companions/courtesans that accept a consideration in exchange for time spent together. We offer a service and experience to the patrons we spend time with.

 

If you are looking for a relationship, you are in the wrong place. As suggested before, a dating site would be more appropriate as this is definitely not the site to use to find one.

 

So are you saying that a personal relationship also precludes a professional one? I had read an analogy earlier in this thread about a barber who would not be able to make any money if he gave free haircuts to his friends and family and so I reasoned that all professionals must charge their friends and family if they happen to perform whatever their professional service was for them.

Let's put it this way: if I was to give up every good professional relationship I have with my clients because they are more than clients to me and most of them I consider special friends, I would have no clients left lol

[Meaghan McLeod 179664]

Most providers have a life outside of this business. Mothers, father's, jobs, friends and children. How, where or when we met our partners is generally something we don't talk about. The time is spent about you, the client.

[roamingguy 300292]

I really have no idea how anybody goes about acquiring a significant other to begin with. The sentiment that I think that I am getting from this forum is that any client is automatically out of the running for a relationship outside of the business. Correct me if I'm wrong. Maybe guys have some sort of stereotype in their heads that a woman who is an SP doesn't want to be in a "relationship" (by regular society's definition).

This is the WRONG SITE and WRONG LIFESTYLE to engage in if you are looking for a

relationship/wife/SO. This is about NO STRINGS ATTACHED companionship only

If you want to conventionally date, join LavaLife, eHarmony, Plenty of Fish etc

Ladies will be scared away from you if they think you are looking for an SO

BTW this is not about stereotypes. The ladies offer no strings attached companionship. The gentlemen are looking for

no strings attached companionship. This is a mutually beneficial arrangement and that is what CERB and this

lifestyle are about

 

RG

[cinelli 22184]

Ladies will be scared away from you if they think you are looking for an SO

Or worse, someone who thinks they are a boyfriend.

The ladies offer no strings attached companionship. The gentlemen are looking for

no strings attached companionship

Yes, it is all just an escape for a few hours, and nothing to do with reality.

If a lady calls me, great, but I would never invade her private time by calling her.